How unfortunate...

A man in my shoes runs a light
All the papers lie tonight
But falling over you
Is the news of the day

Angels fall like rain
And love, is all of heaven way
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
The ghost in you she don’t fade away

The race is on, I’m on your side
But hearing you my engines died
I’m in the mood for you
Or for running away

All the stars come down in you
But love, love, love you can't give it away
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
The ghost in you she don’t fade
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade away
Don't you know she don’t fade

Don't you go it makes no sense
And all these talking supermen
Just take away the time just to get it away
Ain't it just like the rain
'Cause love, love, love, love is only heaven away
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
The ghost in you she don’t fade away

Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade away
The ghost in you she don’t fade

A man in my shoes runs a light
But all the papers lie tonight
Falling over you is the news of the day
And love will not fade away
And love, love, love will not fade away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm so into that song. i dunno why, but i've been listening to it a lot in my sister's winamp files. i know, it totally makes no sense and is based on some irreverent 80s new wave thing, but still...

i'm having the worst luck ever this week. on sunday, i sprained my ankle. on monday, i almost lost my wallet but i lost my book on logic that, by the by, i only borrowed from my ninang. today, i woke up and my cell phone's signal was getting all screwed up. grr...

i felt like shit riding the toki to chk this morning. i hated everything. for once, the words "i hate my life" actually rang oh-so-true for me. i wondered what it could be that i did which upset the balance of the cosmos, why some mystic all encompassing force was now using all its strength and resources to annoy me.

and then, this little voice inside my head told me exactly what i needed to hear at the time-- let it go. just let it go. shit happens all the time, and complaining won't help things at all. you're only gonna be more stressed if you dwell on it.

huh, how insightful of me (yeah, whatever). so i shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it. as it happens, the day was not that bad after all. i got excused from pe, eng 11 was fairly enjoyable, and i had lunch with my friend as usual.

what have i learned? don't latch onto or dwell on anything, because it will always blow things way out of proportion.

completely wrong thought of the day: nakipag-debate ako sa isang friend kong ustetician kung aling kolehiyo ba ang mas maganda, ang sa kanya (uste) o ang sakin (up). hindi naman siya seryosong debate; sa ym lang namin ginawa, wala lang, napag-tripan lang namin. nung una ok pa ang mga arguments namin. halimbawa, nasabi kong "UP Diliman is the flagship campus of the premier state universities of the philippines," at sasabihin ko sanang "every former president of the philippines (besides erap) has either studied or taught at up," kaso nakalimutan ko, at sumagot naman siya ng "UST is the only royal pontifical university in the philippines because it is recognized by the royal family and the pope," at "nag-aral dito si rizal." nung una ok pa naman, kaso nung medyo tumagal-tagal na, naubusan na kami ng mga arguments. sa bandang huli, ang masabi ko na lang ay "dito nag-aaral si hero angeles!" at sa kanya naman ay "dito naman nag-aaral si sarah geronimo!" needless to say, the result was a tie...

Under the Influence of Eng 11

it was such a beautiful day. the sky was a pale grey littered with light, swirling rainclouds, green and gold leaves were falling slowly from the trees and were making their way towards the damp grass below, tall, looming buildings of pure white visible in the distance. everyone seemed so busy-- some people were walking along the pathways, others were hanging out at their favorite tambayan and chatting with their friends, while others still were merely looking every which way, thinking, pondering, contemplating all these things, this day, and, in some cases, life itself. yes, it was a beautiful day indeed. how sad that i had to spend it trapped in this little room on the fourth floor, that i could only watch as the passers-by giggled amongst themselves, and that, even though i was in the company of acquaintances, i felt so alone, so very, very alone. such a shame, such a shame...

my sprained ankle had felt much better. i remember waking up abruptly just a little past midnight. i remember standing up to get something to drink, but the pain in my right foot was throbbing like mad; it was killing me. i rememember that, at that point in time, i could only pray to God that my ankle would get better, at least just enough so that i could make it through the week without missing any of my lessons. after all, i was not in high school anymore; grades actually mattered this time, so i would have to give it my all, for my own benefit as well. thankfully, i was able to make it past chem 1, math 17 and soc sci 2 without too much difficulty. however, my day was not over just yet.

i checked my right pocket again to make sure my wallet and cell phone were still there. they were right were they ought to be, of course, but i checked every so often anyway just to be sure; i had lost several cell phones in the past already, and i did not want to add another loss to my name. it seemed silly now, but just that morning, tears slowly escaped my eyes and crept down my cheeks because i had apparently lost my wallet. it was not the money that mattered really; i was more concerned with my form 5, schedule slip and id receipt. these were the things that proved i was a student of the university of the philippines, and losing these things would be much like losing a part of myself. it would be much like losing the long, dragging and tedious sessions of every monday and thursday, the quickly-concluding classes and after-school lunches i had with my friends every tuesday and friday, and the lazy, laid back wednesdays, when i did not have any classes at all. i admit, i am not quite as attached to my school as long-time students are, but it is not like me to dismiss possibilities before they are given ample time to fulfill themselves completely, and a month in passing is most certainly too short for such things, such enthralling, mysterious things to take place.

and so i sat in my chair, anxiously awaiting my professor and glancing my wristwatch every few minutes. if he did not come to class soon, he would be considered as good as gone and there would be no class at all, as is the agreement between professors and students. a few minutes more, and perhaps i might ask my friend what she's up to, and perhaps i might still catch up to whatever it is that she's doing. or i might go home as well and rest; my ankle, though much better, still needed as little movement as possible to heal properly. ah, so many possibilities... not much longer now... 5... 4... 3...

suddenly, he walked into the room with mere seconds to his merit. how unfortunate; i would have gladly welcomed the opportunity to cheat my schedule, but it appears now is not the time for that. so i sank back into my chair, aloof to the incessant ramblings of my professor. i merely looked out upon the light grey sky littered with light, swirling rainclouds, the green and gold leaves falling slowly from the trees and making their way towards the damp grass below, and the tall, looming buildings of pure white visible in the distance. the mystic forces of the cosmos had sealed my fate this day, but it was all right, for there was always tomorrow. yes, i will most certainly make sure that that day is better. but if it turns out the same as or much worse than this day, it was all right still, for there would always be the next day, and the next, and the next; for as long as i have more days yet to come, i will always find a way to make things better, even if i find myself without a reason, if only for progress' sake...

what have i learned? i take eng 11 too seriously.

completely wrong thought of the day: "...and whatever i do, on account of all my thoughts turning into reality, i shouldn't think of the ceiling fan turning into a whirling blade device of death that suddenly detaches itself from the ceiling and systematically ricochets and kills everyone in the room other than myself by cracking their skulls in half or by decapitating them or by severing their limbs or by splitting their torsos in half causing their vital organs to spew out of their bodies while, in any case, causing gallons of blood to gush out of the large, gaping wounds leaving crimson stains all over the floor while the dismembered corpses all plop down in big, bloody piles in different sections of the room. whoops! too late!" *well, i have to let my twisted self loose somewhere... oh, c'mon, don't give me that! it's not like you've never been to rotten.com O_o (for the record, i myself have never been there)*

On Sunday Morning

we missed church yet again. that always happens. it's unfortunate really; i was in the mood for a little salvation. instead, we just had lunch at this chinese restaurant somewhere in makati, which is like, for the nth time during the last, say, three years?

when we got home, i felt like playing some basketball on this little hoop we had tacked atop the driveway, but my sister's car was blocking a good part of the play area. i asked her if she would move it for me, and she told me to do it myself. i said, "ok, if you'll teach me." she agreed. woot!

i had tried driving my sister's car before, but to no avail; i couldn't get the hang of that damned clutch. a while ago, when i was just starting out, the same thing happened. eventually though, i got the car to move... woohoo! i took it all the way around the block, though not quite as smoothly as i would have liked. well, i suppose it wasn't that bad for a first successful attempt at getting the car to at least move without stopping abruptly more than, oh, ten times. yup, right around the block, turns and humps and everything, all in first gear (though i did put the car in reverse while i was parking it).

yes, i know i'm pathetic; twelve year olds learn how to drive a car sooner than i did O_o

i sprained my ankle playing basketball. not a whole lot; my foot's still attached to my leg anyway. seriously though, it wasn't that bad, but it kinda hurts to walk. argh... i just hope this gets better by tomorrow morning, cause you know, like i always say, i do have to walk to the math building all the way from AS... and hopefully my prof/instructor/coach in pe 2 (which is basketball. in fact, that's the very reason that i have this sprain, cuz i was kinda practicing for tuesday's session... >_<) will be gracious enough to let me off the hook, even if only just this once...

after that, i read a little about aristotle and his political philosophy for soc sci 2, a class that is exceedingly boring thanks to our lame prof. such a shame; the book is fairly interesting. afterwards, i spotted the latest issue of the collegian in my backpack and, seeing how much free time i had, decided to read through it this time and not just look at all the pretty drawings and pictures. wow, i really do have quite a bit to learn (and to think i had intentions of joining on my first week of classes)...

what have i learned? maraming paraan para hilutin ang paang natapilok, kasama na dito ang gas, asin, bote at kung anu-ano pa. ngunit, ang iisang common denominator sa mga pamamaraang ito ay ang pagbabad ng iyong paa sa mainit na tubig.

completely wrong thought of the day: this is easily my most retarded thought yet... well, first off, we all know that high school hymns flat out suck for the most part, thus the students merely hum along making awkward swinging gestures from side to side and silently mouth the words. this is true for Diliman Preparatory School (no relation, and no, this is not the same as UPIS), so i had a sudden flash of inspiration-- i thought of a revamped set of lyrics, which shall be applicable by the year 2015, when i would have purchased the school to put up my institute which trains fine young men, women and anyone else in between to become my loyal evil minions on my path to taking over the world (yes, the path to complete and utter global domination knows no gender bias). it best captures the dominant musical styling of the 00s-- hip hop. so here we go, the lyrics for the Domination Preparatory Society (still DPS if you notice):
~START~
*chorus*
these are the digits that we gotta set
spittin' rhymes like romeo and juliet
pray to God that He gonna lay your soul to rest
they ain't nobody mess with that DPS

first year people they be lookin' kinda crazy
feel the air, see it, it be gettin' kinda hazy
pay no respect, no regard fo' they order
we be puffin' smoke like we was drinkin' water
second year we be havin' no parade
only thing on my mind is that damn arcade
cuz we skip, when we trip, pushin' coins like bling
catchin' up is to money like a hook by yao... ming!

*chorus*

third year gd is the place to be
show up five hours late, act all tipsy
skip more school, hit the mall, blow yo' money
livin' off that choco dipped in honey
fourth year life like a soloista
hip-hoppin' sentimental punk rockista
gotta do this year as the man intends
if y'all don't then this old school never ends

*chorus*
~END~
it's supposed to sound slightly like "welcome to atlanta" but not exactly like it. anyway, i'm sure this will do my society good; what better minions can you have than hip hopping punk gangstas who smoke and drink and blow cash on crap and play arcade all day and eat only choco honey-dipped donuts? yessir, supreme evil dictatorship never looked so good...

We're so closeness na!

nagising ako ng alas seis kaninang umaga. hum, dati naman hindi ako ganun a. nung high school, kapag weekends, minsan nagigising ako alas diyes na... ng gabi... (hehe, syempre hindi yan totoo; isang beses pa lang naman yan nangyari sa buhay ko.) siguro nasanay lang ako sa buhay peyupster, na nangangailangang gising na ko ng alas singko ng umaga tuwing lunes at huwebes para hindi ma-late sa aking unang klase sa chem pav. siguro kaya rin ako nagigising ng alas seis sa iba pang mga araw ng linggo.

magkagayunpaman, may silbi rin naman ang pag-gising ko ng ganitong oras (kahit alas siyete pa lang nung nakaraang gabi ay inaantok na ko dahil sa sobrang pagod sa kakalaro ng basketball... pero, dahil sa internet, alas onse na ako nakatulog at, saganang akin, mas mainam nang magising ako ng medyo magtatanghali na para mapahinga ng kaunti.); sa araw na ito'y magkokodakan ang aming block sa AS steps. sa totoo lang, mas gugustuhin ko na lang sanang manatili sa bahay at manood ng tv o maglaro ng ps2. ngunit naisip ko na, for the sake of being a semi-sociable human being, mas mabuti na rin sigurong pumunta na lang ako.

laking pasalamat ko na naihatid ako ni ate sa AS, dahil tinatamad akong sumakay ng mrt (pero kung wala namang ibang paraan para makapunta ng diliman, ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko?). pagdating dun, wala akong nakitang kakilala dun. may nauna pala sakin, blockmate ko na hindi pamilyar ang mukha. tumabi muna ako sa kanya at pinanood namin ang ibang block na nagpipiktyur-piktyur sa steps. wow, nakakainggit, ang saya naman nila, it's like they have gitara and make laro the baraha pa and everything... tapos parang ang ganda rin ng kinalabasan ng block pic nila, dahil kumpleto silang lahat at may theme pa talagang sinundan. tinanong ko sa aking blockmate, "e tayo ano theme natin?" at ang sagot niya ay "wala... bahala na." this is proof that our block is the most cohesive and tightly-bonded block in the entire history of UP Diliman. that, my oh-so-ignorant friend, is called sarcasm. if you didn't know, you'd better look it up.

nung una, tatlo lang kami dun sa steps. tapos, isa-isang nagsidatingan ang iba pa naming blockmates. pagkatapos ng isang oras at kalahating paghihintay (umulan kasi... naisip ko nga na sana theme na lang namin ay yung basa sa ulan, pero parang ayaw magkasakit nung ibang mga kasama ko...), nakamit namin ang grand total of 8 people in attendance. wow... ang saya-saya noh!?!! like yah, grabeh, our block's so closeness talaga.

pagtapos ng aming block pics (hindi naman siya nangingibabaw sa ibang block pic, maliban na lang siguro kung tinatanong kung kaninong block ang pinaka-pangit na pic.), dinala ako ni ate kay mang jimmy's. wow, pers taym ko dun! *i don't feel like commenting about that here... all i can say is, they have good stuff, but i didn't get to try their specialty. >_<*

heto, nasa bahay na ako, nagsusulat na naman ng isang walang kwentang bagay na pwedeng lait-laitin ng aking friend. pero ok lang, kahit lugi ako dahil kaunti lamang ang english artiks niya... at least kahit paano ay natututo naman ako ng filipino, di tulad nung sa high school na hindi ko na talaga ginagamit ang ating "native language" sa pagsusulat... kaya sige, kahit pangit, let's just consider this as something of a patriotic statement...

what have i learned? ok lang naman pala ang pips sa block ko, dahil hindi maiiwasang makausap sila habang naghihintay sa loob ng AS. halos lahat pala kami ay may first choice na BAA, at halos lahat rin pala kami ay may balak mag-shift next year. ako undecided as usual; pwede na siguro yung double major, o kahit minor na lang ako in some other subject, pwede na rin... ^_^

completely wrong thought of the day: i'm glad i study in UP, because, social stuff notwithstanding, i could never, EVER step on the diliman campus without feeling like an astronaut stepping on mars. i wouldn't be able to walk around anymore, or eat at chocolate kiss, or drive by to pick up my mom from the shopping center-- i would be to pre-occupied acting all, "atmosphere... too... intellectual... self... not worthy! i... am... unclean! I AM NOT WORTHY!!!" and then i would melt... eventually. anyway, that's just me, on account of everyone i know being from UP and all; other people shouldn't have that problem.

So maybe love doesn't suck *that* much...

i'm tired as hell. pe 2 was fun, but it was so tiring that my entire body still aches and convulses violently every ten seconds. ok, fine, it just aches, but it aches quite a bit at that. hmm... street dance is sounding better by the week...

i had lunch with my friend again today after her week-long hiatus thanks to some cmc orientation thingy. it was, well, just like most lunches i have with her; we mocked certain things and people, walked around a whole lot etc. that sorta thing...

oohhh... this is pretty dry. oh wait, i know!

i think it was around eng 11, when the prof declared that she was a hopeless romantic. instead of my usual "i think i'm gonna retch!" reaction to that sort of thing, i actually found myself silently saying "aww..." hard to believe?! it's true!

and so, i could only come to the conclusion that i am something of a hopeless romantic. when i got the chance to think about it, this argument just seemed more and more valid. after all, i am the type of person who dreams of long walks on the beach, or of staring up at the sky while lying 'round the center of a vast meadow, or of standing out on her corner in the pouring rain and looking for the girl with the broken smile... err, maybe just the rain part. heehee... rain good... ^_^

also, i believe in a thing called love. what the?! ok, wait... damned radio! anyway, it's those accursed old movies (relatively speaking, so 90s-00s era) my mom and my sisters would always watch where the guy is always the, err, stereotypical romance movie guy, or whatever. gh... that totally messed up my perception! rock solid proof that subliminal messages do exist...

still, my point is, i'm ever-so-slightly like those movie dudes, or at least, at some point in time i tried to be and now i can't get it out of my system. the problem is, stuff like that doesn't seem to sell so good for me. maybe i'm just picky, or i have trouble "keepin' it real," or i'm just plain ugly. i don't know. let the statistics speak for themselves... hey! wait a sec! i didn't approve of that!

enough of this; i might dispense of some information that i am not at liberty to share.

gawd... i so need a girlfriend... (-_-;) *for the record, i'm not exactly searching*

what have i learned? i'm probably the most hopeless hopeless romantic in existence. :D

completely wrong thought of the day: if i really want to take over the world (which i do), i must abandon this whole facade of romanticism, for this is a potentially lethal weakness. i must train myself in the art of cold-hearted, cold-blooded, devoid of soul or conscience sorta evil doings, such as, say, putting the cookie jar on the top shelf so my little cousins can't reach. heeheehee... hey jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love... O_o

Isang Atenistang Soloista

pangalawang beses na itong nagamit ko ang ngalan ng ateneo de manila. sorry talaga, no offense meant, ito lang talaga napag-tripan kong isulat ngayon.

x: alam mo, dapat c [ako] sa ateneo mag-aral
sis: bakit naman b?
x: kasi ikaw sa UP, c [mid sis ko] sa la salle, kaya dapat c [ako] sa ateneo para yung three major colleges ng pinas napasukan ninyong tatlong magkakapatid! patay!

dati, iisa ang aking naiisip kapag pinag-usapan ang buhay kolehiyo-- magiging peyupster ako. hindi ko matanggap na sa ibang unibersidad ako mapunta. pano ba naman, buong buhay ko'y napalibutan ako ng mga UP graduates/students, gaya ng aking ina, aking kapatid, aking mga pamily pwendstrrs, aking mga ninong at ninang, mga tito at tita, etc. grade school pa lang ako ay lagi na kong dumadayo ng UP (halimbawa, kung susunduin si ate at nanggaling muna ng paaralan ko noon). kaya naman pag namemention ang college sa usapan, laging campus ng UP Diliman ang pumapasok sa isip ko na setting. ngunit, hindi lang yan ang dahilan. dalawang guro ko ay nanggaling sa UP, at sila na ang pinakadesenteng nakasundo kong mga nilalang sa mundong ito, kumbaga, maliban na lang siguro sa dalawa kong ate, sila lang talaga ang pareho ng wavelength ko. dalawang taon ko silang kasama, pero parang isang saglit lang. sa pagkakataong iyon, naramdaman kong hindi ako nag-iisa sa mundong ito. nalaman kong may katulad ko rin palang gumagala-gala lamang dito sa quezon city. nalaman ko (o inakala ko) na ang mga taong ito'y nag-aaral sa UP.

ngayon, freshie ako dun, pero mga tatlong linggo pa lang. isa pa lamang ang kilala kong ka-wavelength ko dito, at ni hindi ko siya nakilala mismo sa diliman. oo, maayos na ang pakiramdam ko ngayon kahit paano, ngunit matagal-tagal rin akong nabwisit at nabanas sa mga blockmates/classmates ko (ngayon balik na ko sa dati; wala na akong pakialam). alam ko, malamang ay nandyan lang sila, nagtatago sa isang sulok, mga katulad kong nanonood ng star trek, mas mahilig manood kesa maglaro ng basketball, adik sa video games, medyo may pagka-L337ista (sa language lang naman, pero hindi sa ugali... pwamis! ;p), pinagtatawanan ang mga wala naman talagang kakwenta-kwentang bagay. natanggap ko na yan at napili ko na maghintay na lamang at tingnan kung saan ako tatangayin ng tadhana.

ngunit, kailan lang ay dumaan na sa isip ko ito: paano kaya kung nag-ateneo na lang ako? hindi ko maipaliwanag, pero pakiramdam ko nun ay mas makakasundo ko ang mga tao dun. umabot na sa punto na sising-sisi akong binenta yung cap ko dahil sa peyups nga naman ay hindi ko na kakailanganin ito, para naman kahit paano ay may pagkakataon pa akong lumipat sa aming kapitbahay. ngayon, kahit di ko na pinagninilay-nilayan ang ganitong klaseng bagay, naisip ko sa aking sarili, ano na lang kaya ang mangyayari sa akin pag doon ako napadpad? tingnan nga natin ang pros and cons...

pros? hmm... ok, heto sila. mas madali ata makipag-socialize dun, dahil bago pa magsimula ang klase ay may orientation thingy na wala kayong ibang choice kundi makilala ang mga magiging iskulmeyt ninyo. sabi ng prend ko, mas madali na rin daw ang pag-aaral, kasi wala na daw xerox chenes; very straightforward daw, parang hayskul din. ibig-sabihin, di ko na rin poproblemahin ang pre-enlistment at kung anu-ano pa (sa totoo lang, hindi ako sigurado dyan...). matutupad nga ang sinabi ni manong x; kaming tatlong magkakapatid ay mag-aaral sa tatlong pinaka-prominenteng unibersidad sa pilipinas. isa pa na medyo may kinalaman dito, ang ate kong la sallian ay hindi na maiilang, dahil mahirap nga naman para sa kanyang siya lang sa aming magkakapatid ang hindi nakapasa sa peyups. ang basketball team namin ay hindi bano at/o talunan (sige na skulmeyts, tanggapin na natin...) malamang mas madali makatagpo ng mga trekkie dun, dahil medyo hindi ito kilala ng karamihan ng mga tao. wala akong pagpipilahan na enrollment o ano man, at least, hindi pa naman ako nakakarinig ng atenistang umaangal sa mga pila; sa ngayon, puro peyupster pa lang naman. iskulmeyt ko ang aking prendly prend na nag-3rd sa regionals at yung classmate ko dati. katabi ko lang ang miriam; kelangan ko lang maghanap ng butas sa bakod... 'nap sed. hindi na ako tatanungin ng mga dati kong kaklase na sa ngayo'y ustetician/mapuan/plmer/feuan/la sallian kung nakikita ko ba si hero angeles. best of all, i can talk in straight english and people won't look at me like i warped in from another dimension.

hayan, cons naman tayo. wala akong kotse, kasi yung perang nakamit sa pagbenta ng cap ko ay gagamitin sa pagbili ng brand new car (pero una tuturuan muna ako mag drive... kahit ekspert na ko sa gran turismo at gta ay iba pa rin daw sa totoong buhay eh... O_o). magkakaroon ako ng pasok pag miyerkules, kaya hindi ako pwedeng dumaan ng sm north, dps o uste pag wala akong magawa sa buhay. hindi ko pwedeng maisuot muli ang mga nagamit ko nang mga damit, kaya ang salaping sinasayang ko lamang sa mga beedyo geyms ng ps2 at geymkyub at mga odyo cds gaya ng odyosleyb at incubus ay siya namang sasayangin ko sa mga bagong kasuotan, at sa lahat ng ayokong pagka-abalahan sa mundong ito, pinaka-ayaw kong pinoproblema ang susuotin ko datapwa't ito'y napapaiba sa aking pilosopiya sa buhay na "tang *na dude wala akong pakialam." according to my sister and my tita, ang mga peyupster daw ay mas handa sa isang real-life situation, whereas ang atenean ay mas mabisa sa isang sistema (oo, depende yan sa tao, pero average lang naman ako eh; saka, kaya ito con, mas prefer ko na handa ako sa anumang sitwasyon sa real-life...). madalang ko nang makikita ang aking prendly prend na nag-1st sa regionals. pakiramdam ko medyo dyahe na ko sumali sa peyups.com nun, kahit maganda sanang sagisag-panulat ang "atenistang_soloista" (kung meron na nun ay dadagdagan ko na lamang ng "_x" sa dulo, hypothetically speaking of course ;p). aaway-awayin na ako niyan ng aking ate sa la salle at ng kanyang boyfriend na la sallian rin at ng aming fanatically loyal la sallian family friend. hindi ko na pwedeng pagtawanan ang joke na "he studies in ateneo... oh, wait, sorry; THE Arrneo..." mas onti na akong makikitang dpsers dun, at ang mga susunod galing uplb at up baguio ay hindi ko na rin makikita pang muli.

yun lang naman. bow. kung napasa ko ang parehong university na iyan, sa tingin ko'y UP pa rin ang pipiliin ko. subalit, kung sa ateneo rin naman ako nag-aral, ok lang rin, pero maghahanap at maghahanap rin ako ng mga dahilan para umangal. ganyan ako eh, kahit saan man ako, yan ang hobby ko, hindi na yan mag-iiba. pero sa tingin ko'y masasanay rin ako kahit saan ako mapadpad...

what have i learned? stoicism r0x0rz.

completely wrong thought of the day: last summer, i visited our relatives in america. i had inadvertedly brought with me six diskettes that were exposed to x-ray scans in manila, taipei, san francisco, oklahoma, san diego, and sacramento (twice in certain locations; that makes 6-10 x-ray scans in the span of one month). do you know what that means? that means i now possibly carry with me six copies (that's right, six!) of the most dangerous computer virus ever known to man! my plan is simple: i label the diskettes' stickers with the words "xxx porn" and slip it into one of my male friends' bag. the curious, hormonally-challenged teenager in him cannot resist, so he opens the diskette on a pc hooked on the 'net. not five seconds after he clicks "run" and types "a:" then presses that enter key, BOOM! say goodbye to your hard drive, sucka! then his skin will break out and he shall acquire a severe case of acne. then his girlfriend will leave him. then he loses the remote control, and he'll get a bad itch on a spot he can't quite reach and all the walls in his house will turn smooth, and then his house will burn to the ground, and he'll fail all his college admissions tests and he'll end up a student of dcti, then he wakes up seven years later to discover he's an obese nerd with thick glasses and a pocket protector and no friends and no money who plays video games and dungeons and dragons all day and watches tapes of old star trek deep space nine re-runs at night... all because of my computer virus, which shall be transmitted all over friendster, pinoyster, yahoo, hotmail and all that other crap thanks to the pc's being hooked to the net!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! fear me! wait a minute, this pc's on the net right now! hahahahaha! my plan to completely annoy all the people of the world begins! go! diskette! RUN! wait a second... not formatted? wha?! WHERE'S MY VIRUS??!? aw hell...

How I Made Kain with my Prendly Prendsturr

a little early for a second post? perhaps. well, that's not exactly problem, is it?

anyway, here's how it went down yesterday.

i made it to the math building right about on time. from the get-go, i knew the day would be kinda sucky cuz my friend had this cmc assembly thing so that meant we wouldn't be having lunch together, which was kind of like a ritual for me. oh well, i told her i would find some way to survive... hehehe...

so, what else could i do but schedule a rendesvouz with my friend from ateneo? yup, everything was set-- at 1:30 pm that day, i would have lunch with her. woot!

only, i had to take my blockmate along merely for the fact that we used to be classmates, all three of us. grr... i asked her, and naturally, she agreed. ok, fine, it would be the three of us then. but, well, the day was just beginning...

i made it to hk on toki after math. basketball... gawd, what did i get myself into?! i should have just picked scrabble or something; as if just walking around UP diliman wasn't tiring enough (i know, my situation isn't quite as bad as that of other people, but still, it's tiring nonetheless). luckily, the coach didn't show, so we just shot some hoops. yessir, just me and "da boyz in da hood"! hehe, i got to know a few of 'em, and they seem alright really; they seem more sociable than any of my other classmates (or blockmates, for that matter), anyway.

on the toki again, i got down at as. half an hour to spare! i walked around for a bit (what else could i do? the other class was still in ph 138, "the-room-which-must-not-be-numbered" ;P). then, it was time for eng 11. surprisingly, it wasn't as gay as i thought it would be. last time, all we talked about was love and faith and hope. blech. it made me wanna retch. this time, however, it was about childhood and magic and serendipity and stuff (keep in mind, we have yet to tackle the sorcerer's stone). i know, that's just about as bad as the former for any cynic, but i dunno, it was semi-enjoyable.

after that, i took a stroll to as 101 and found my blockmate waiting for me. i really didn't want her around me so much, but you know, for the sake of my atenean friend. don't get me wrong; i don't hate my blockmate. not at all. it's just that the immature bitches in my block keep teasing the two of us just because i talk to her a lot, being that she's my hs classmate. tch. children. i never thought college students could be so childish. they actually use the word "crush" in conversation. ack. whatever.

the truth of it is, i really wouldn't mind being teased if my blockmate strongly resembled, oh, i dunno, sandara park (huwaat?!), but the fact is she doesn't. then again, it wouldn't be so bad either if we got along really well and if we were really good friends, but we both know that we don't and we're not. she just doesn't get my "vibe" you know? like, our wavelengths are separated by lightyears.

so anyway, we made our way to katipunan, where we waited for half an hour for my former classmate to come by. i found out some stuff about my blockmate (which, naturally, i am not at liberty to dispense), and she's really got it rough. but, for some reason, she never felt her pain, her sorrow. she never embraced the darkness brewing from her soul. it's as if she chose to fight it or ignore it all this time. i don't know why, but that always ticked me off. then again, i am all about the rampant expression of angst and torment, so it really does not come as a surprise i suppose.

lunch. we talked about my atenean friend's lovelife mostly, or lack thereof. actually, i believe it's more fitting to say "poked fun at" rather than "talked about." ;P then, my blockmate surprised me with this line...

"i feel as though i've never felt anything in my life, like i've never ever been truly happy or sad at all..."

whoa... i didn't see that coming. but, at the time, i thought that there was hope for her yet, that she won't necessarily always be that annoying burst of sunshine, that maybe, just maybe, she might actually feel the same kind of pain that i have grown so accustomed to these past few years, and that it might take place sooner than i think...

anyway, that lunch did not last long enough; i would have liked to talk about some other stuffs with my former classmate. alas, she had a class at 3, so i had to take her back to ateneo (well, i couldn't just let her walk that long stretch of road back, could i?). she got off at the gym, and so did my blockmate. then, i went home and listened to audioslave while typing some stuffs. yeah...

what have i learned? i'll have to do some more waiting. i knew it then and i thought it would no longer apply in college, but it seems as though i need to wait a little longer before people start running around campus yelling "LIFE IS CRAP!!! LOVE IS JUST A LIE!!! THERE IS ONLY RAIN!!! BE THE RAIN!!! BE THE RAIN!!!" all that notwithstanding, i'm sure there is hope yet. in time, they shall all be as bitter as i am... bwahahahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! >=)

completely wrong thought of the day: in ateneo's campus, there were some signs pointing towards exits to UP and miriam. after seeing the first sign, you enter this semi-long stretch of very slightly crooked road. it wasn't that long, but the thing is, you couldn't see the part where you get out onto katipunan from the sign. anyway, i half-expected our car to enter this dark cavernous thing with spikes that rise to puncture your tires and two guards on either side of your car, whose purpose would be to pump shotgun shells/m16 bullets all over your car while shouting "TAKE THIS YOU [gross expletives that would definitely take this page's rating up a notch]!!!" then, one of them would pull this lever that opens a trap door to a furnace that quickly incenerates your car and all the corpses inside. conclusion? i watch too many movies, and too many gangster movies at that... by the way, no offense to atenistas; as you might have noticed, i'm not exactly poking fun at ateneo exactly. after all, we could have driven through any college in the world and i would think the exact same thing would happen to us. basically, it's not your fault i'm a retard, so don't act like it is... alrighty?!

set dis paker off!

wow. pers post. for this blog, anyway; meron pa kong isa, the location of which shall remain indisclosed (if you like to surf around, you might know where it is; not that difficult to figure out, really).

i guess it's pretty obvious, but my preferred medium of communication is english. why? well, my vocabulary is better in english plus it reaches a broader audience. why am i telling you this? i... don't... know...

ngunit-bagama't-subalit-datapwa't, sa pagkakataong ito, feel kong mag-tagalog, err, i mean, "filipino," as my fourth year filipino teacher would argue. oo, asahan niyo na ang mga taglish bits dito; hindi ko maiwasan ang ganyan. like yah, i make taglish sometimes, but i'm not conyo, cuz like, conyotics make usap like this, and like, they're making gaya lang naman to the arte people eh. like yah, my golly goshness talaga...

bago kayo malito, lalaki ako, kahit ayrnmaydn (you know, "iron maiden"?) ang napili kong pangalan. malamang-lamang may iilang pagkakataon sa buhay ko na napagkamalan na akong bading, ngunit sa ngayon ay wala pa namang harap-harapang kumausap sakin na sinabing, "tsong, bading ka no?" syempre, stereotype na yan eh, basta matalino ka, magaling ka mag-sulat, mahilig ka sa trance, babae lagi kasama mo, bading ka. pero anyway, balik tayo sa pangalan; hindi importante ang ganyang klaseng bagay, meaning, i don't really care. so, bakit nga ba ayrnmaydn? bakit naman hindi? it makes me sound all 80s rock fan and dark and brooding and shit. yeah... i'm L337.

oo, mahilig nga ako sa beedyo geyms, pero hindi sa ragnarok. sa katunayan, ragnadik din ako dati, pero ayoko na. i suddenly realized how superficial the MMORPG world really is. kaya, sa ngayon, ang pinagkaka-interesan ko na lamang ay ang cd ko ng odyosleyb habang nakatingin sa kisame at pinagninilay-nilayan ang mga bagay sa buhay ko. yan, yan ang hilig ko ngayon, ang pagninilay-nilay. hindi naman sa nagsawa na ko sa tv, video games o sounds, pero sa ngayon, may mga pagkakataong wala na akong magawa kundi humiga sa kama at mag-isip ng kung anu-ano...

oo nga pala, peyupster ako. ako'y isang fresh meat... mwahahahaha... sa totoo lang, medyo disappointed ako; akala ko lahat ng tao dun ay tulad ko rin, yung tipong naiintindihan ang value ng mga banat na "you know what? i wanna conquer the world," ngunit hindi ganito ang buhay ko sa peyups. grr... alam ko, maling husgahan ang mga taong dalwang linggo't kalahati ko pa lang nakikilala, pero parang mga kaklase ko rin pala sila nung high school, yung pinag-uusapang bagay yung mga walang kakuwenta-kuwentang laging may kinalaman sa mga reality-based star searches. parang ganun... anyway, i have like, one friend so far, which really is not bad at all, but it sucks that i haven't found my circle of friends yet. oh well, at least i don't feel like crap anymore. besides, i'm really grateful that my one friend is on the same wavelength as i am, otherwise i would have killed myself by now. w--ell, ok, maybe not, but thought about it much more than usual ;P

speaking of which, i hate hero angeles, for many, many reasons. next time na yan, mahaba-habang usapan yan.

political chenes? minsan, sige, pag alam ko pinag-uusapan ko. sa ngayon, hindi naman masyado...

basta, kung minsang napag-tripan ko'y gagawa ko ng mga write-ups na may coherence at tungkol sa relevant subject matters. otherwise, expect a lot of personal happenings crap...