In Preparation for CW10

today's musical inclination: Leah Navarro - Ang Pag-ibig kong ito
-"Mga araw na nagdaan
Kailanma'y hindi malilimutan
Kay tamis na raw ng pagmamahalan
Ang akala ko'y walang hangganan
Ang pag-ibig kong ito
Luha ang tanging nakamit buhat sayo
Kaya't sa maykapal tuwina'y dalangin ko
Sana'y...
Kapalaran ko ay magbago"
-Malungkot pala ang kwento ng kantang ito. Ayon sa aking sources, ang songer (o writer ba? 'Di ko matandaan) daw ng kantang ito ay iniwan ni Matt Ranillo. Ang babae ay na-despair at hindi na nakapag-asawa.
-Wala lang. Malungkot. Mahilig ako sa malungkot... Hahahahaha...
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Ode to Berserk Manic Evil Robots

DESTROY!!! DESTROY!!!
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A Love Story. Friendster-style.

There was a guy who realy luvd a girl but then the girl loved somoene else he was okay with it for a while but then he fuond out that the guy that the girl liked had become her boyfriend so the guy got a chiansaw and killed everybody and then he shot himslef cuz he had a gum but he didnt want to waste the bulltes. pass this mesage on to all ur fiends or you will be shot! Then yuo will be hacked off by a chiansaw
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Don't Touch My Carbine

^SyOrTkEyK^ killed Jump!n6_(@m0+3 with a headshot
^SyOrTkEyK^: j00 607 pweened!
^SyOrTkEyK^ killed bano ako with a m4a1
^SyOrTkEyK^: n00b!
^SyOrTkEyK^ killed ==0000==D~ with a m4a1
^SyOrTkEyK^: ph34r meh lololololololol!!!
[arki]DR>QUACKQUACK[arki] killed ^SyOrTkEyK^ with a deagle
^SyOrTkEyK^: damn silencer!!!
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The Answer to All Questions

So I asked the rain
Three point one four one five nine
I want pineapples
------------------------------
(at, en frefareysyon por mahlikhaing fagzuzulath)
Bored ka na ba?

Gusto ko...
Ako'y umaasa na...
Hinde.
Hindi ito makatotohanan.
Ngunit...
Umaasa pa rin...
Baka sakali...
'Wag na kasi!!!
Bisyo na 'to!!!
Pero sige.
Hindi ko na mapipigilan ang aking sarili.
O kung pwede lang sana...
Sana...
Sana sagasaan ako ng Toki.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: Hey, Tweed is like, a place in New Zealand or something, right? Well, I've kinda been using it as an insult in my head. It's like something you'd scream at a snatcher boy when he grabs your stuff. "Come back here ya little tweed!" It's like tool, geek, dweeb and nerd all rolled into one! Plus I like how it rolls off the tongue. So, hey, if it's getting offensive (though that's pretty hard to imagine), sorry. I'm a tweed. >:)

I Live. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

today's musical inclination: Trapt - Lost in a Portrait
-"I see I’m not perfect
But that’s all I see
Lost in a portrait
In a picture of me
This can’t be everything I see
That my canvas is incomplete
Your color’s everything to me
And my canvas will set me free"
-----------------------------
Our phone line's been down for about a week now. Wait, think of that a sec. No internet. No connection to the outside world! (i.e. let's just assume the outside world was composed completely of bloggers) How uncool!

The phone guys must really love us. I suppose it isn't enough that some morons, who want to make some heated comments on certain rousing and highly relvant issues such as Star Cinema, call here daily thinking our number is that of ABS-CBN's morning show "Magandang Umaga Bayan." Oh sure, we were polite at first. "No, sorry, hindi po ito MUB..." In time, however, I started replying in much colder tones. "Hindi po! Residential po ito!" *baba ng malakas sa receiver*

Anyway, the phone line's fixed now, and that's what counts. Time to dial random numbers and invite complete strangers to be my phone pals.
------------------------------
Hey, does anybody know what "bold" movies are out right now? No, I have no intention of watching, but I can't figure out what's out right now. It's weird, not having any pinoy softcore porn that's "patok sa takilya" right now. I think that bold star-politician-escort thing has something to do with it. Well, that's what my friend said, anyway.

I haven't watched the news for some time now. Usually I pretend to watch it, but I really just like keeping the TV on for a while after watching SCQ Reloaded. I like to stare at all the pretty colors of bloody corpses and bullet-ridden vans while I contemplate Sandara Park and Hero Angeles, and that marvelous heaven-sent screenwriter prodigy who came up with such memorable lines as, "Ito type A. Ito type B. Ito type AB. Eh ako Joross, type mo ba 'ko?" Genius! Absolute genius!
------------------------------
Another season of Yu-Gi-Oh! is starting in a few weeks. Coincidentally, my first sem at UP Diliman is ending in about five weeks. Hah. How strange. I don't feel any smarter. I don't think I learned too much at all. Honestly, I don't feel like a bona fide UP student. Everyone is always talking about Kas 1 reports, Nat Sci exams, field trips, papers, mid-terms, finals, required plays and forums, and I'm always like...

"...what?"

It's not even that the stuff I do is that easy, 'cause when I think about it, some of my subjects are a bit difficult. It's more like my profs don't really need me to watch this or do that. On one hand, it's kinda cool; my life doesn't *have* to revolve around school and I have time to play video games, watch TV, work on my ball control and listen to lots and lots of rock. On the other hand, I can't help but feel like I'm getting gypped. If things are too easy, does that mean I'm still learning as much as everyone else?

I find it hard to accept that I can pick up all the knowledge I require without having it drilled forcefully into my skull. Yes, it's rather flattering to believe that I have semi-photographic memory, that I pick things up quicker than your average college stude. But then, am I just fooling myself? Am I just making excuses for my own laziness and inadequacies? It's true what they say; in the long run, I'm only depriving myself of certain opportunities. I don't want that to happen. I go to school to learn, and dammit, I hope that's what I'm doing. ('cause really, how does anyone know for sure that she or he is gaining anything beneficial from the things that they do?)
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One more thing: kudos to the UP Fighting Maroons. Yes, they have earned my respect, even if I still refuse to admit that in public. (I still call them the Fighting Morons when I'm amongst friends) They actually have a chance to make it. It's a slim chance, but it's a chance nonetheless.

You believe in miracles? Yeah, well, don't get your feelings hurt, 'kay?

Oh yeah, the DLSU/ADMU game was teh cool. I wanna go to as many games as I can. It's fun really, even if I'm neither a La Sallian or an Atenista. It's electric, very exhilirating stuff. Next time I'ma stay at the ADMU side, which I hope will be a common trend from that point on. I just feel like I've been too immersed in La Sallian pop culture, and I think I should be fair to our neighbors along Katipunan Avenue. (did I mention UP Diliman's Department of Mathematics is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the Ateneo?) Besides, I'm a Blue Eagle fan. So sue me. It's too damn bad they lost. Pretty boy Chris Tiu killed the momentum with that missed lay-up after the LA Tenorio steal early in the fourth. Had he made it, I seriously think ADMU could have emerged victorious. Oh well, there's always the final four...

And by the way, do you seriously expect me to believe Mac-Mac Cardona used to sell cigarettes on the streets? Look, I'll buy the story that he used to be a JRU Heavy Bomber. That doesn't seem so impossible. What I refuse to accept is that someone could have possibly spent hours under the intense radiation, emanated from a combination of an unrelenting sun and a badly damaged atmosphere towering over the Philippine Islands, and still remain as white as Mac-Mac is.

That last paragraph for retards? Masyadong maputi si Mac-Mac para maniwala akong naglalako lang siya ng yosi dati.
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completely wrong thought of the day: For a while back there I was suicidal again. I mean, it wasn't even the scary kind of suicidal, it was the realistic kind, the rational kind. I thought, "Why am I alive? No one's gonna miss me. I see no purpose. I'm just gonna end up a sad math teacher earning peanuts with no family and nothing to look forward to. I'll probably just feel more pain in the future, so what the hell, better end it now while I still have 'potential.' Oh wait, I wanna get laid first, but I don't wanna pay for it. Sheesh! If I'm getting some then I'll have a reason to live! Dammit! Oh well. I prolly won't get to that point, so I might as well do it now. It won't be so bad. Maybe later, like, after finals or something."

Don't worry 'bout it though. I'm not *seriously* gonna kill myself. I know better. What's that? Am I half-hoping that I'll get run over by a truck while crossing the street? Hmm... That's different. Well, that's such a bad way to go. Yes, this is my way of pulling an Imelda: a truck is my equivalent to the bolo sans yellow ribbon. I'd rather drown. Or bleed. But I don't wanna feel the pain. Is that possible? In any case, I want my death to be romantic... or is that poetic? Anyway, stuff that's poem or song worthy. That's a start.

Ah, screw it. There's an entire world of mindless lumps of flesh to rule, and I'll be damned if I don't at least give it a shot before I transcend this mortal realm.

I Wanna Rock!

today's musical inclination: Smile Empty Soul - Finding Myself
-"I don't care anymore if I let you down
I believe that I need to be free
I'm so used to my life with you around
I don't know anymore the real me
And I thought that I found myself today
And I thought that I had control
All the change in my life just found a way
For a moment I didn't need you
All the tears that I've cried you must be tired
Of taking care of me but
It's what you do best and I'm a liar
'Cause really is what I need
Someone like you
Someone like me
Maybe it's change that set you free..."
------------------------------
I woke up this morning with you in my mind... Haay diyos ko! Masama na itech! Hullurrssh??!?

Sorry, sorry. That was just a test. Wala lang, trippings ko lang... Hey, don't you have some porn to surf?

My blockmate and I got into the quarterfinals of Freshman Henyo sa Math (FHM for short). Basically, we got stomped. Yes people, I regret to inform you that there will be no balato coming from me.

The questions were damn hard, but they were just made that way. Out of about, say, 30 points I think, the grand champion would be lucky to have a score of +7. No shit, I'm way serious. There are negative scores for wrong answers. Most of the people who advanced had scores of +2, +6, etc.

How did we do? -10. Oh yeah.

The author would like to note that all these pluses and minuses and numbers reminded him of RPGs, both pen-and-paper and video game forms. You may now point at the screen and yell "Geek!" as loud as you wish while laughing your ass off. Thank you.

What pisses me off is not that we lost; I was expecting that. What pisses me off is the stupid names of the teams that beat us. Boobie sisters? Team Buk Tu? What in the motherfucking hell? Lousy! Fucking lousy! They could have at least tried to come up with something cool. (by my standards, anything drug, mafia or goth related will suffice)

Then again, I'm not one to complain. Our name was even lamer: Dansa. Sheesh. Chalk that one up to my blockmate.
------------------------------
Disclaimer: I'm not really conyotic. Well, most of the time. Anyway, I just, I dunno, let's see how this works.

So like, after that laban thing, where we were made talo by those jologs, I like, made punta na to G4. Mom was gonna pick me up there later eh. I thought I might make arcade muna, kasi like, I had to make hintay pa! So I went to Timezone and made laro... Actually, I was gonna go to starbucks rin pero there was really no point to it if I wasn't with a foxy lady noh? So I made laro na lang sa Timezone. I was gonna play Dance Dance Revolution, kasi some tracks are trance and trance is like, so cool talaga noh? Pero these jologs made so haba the pila I gave up na lang! Siguro they made basa pa the dance pads with their pawis and all... Eeeww! Kadire talaga!

Screw this, it's making me sick.
------------------------------
Mom came by to pick me up about an hour after my Timezone load ran out. She asked if I wanted to have lunch, and I politely accepted, even though that's what I figured we'd be doing right from the start. I, for one, was starving, and didn't know what to eat. Suddenly, like a chorus of angels descending from the heavens, I heard chairman Kaga whispering in my head...

...cook it on your tongue.

TUNA SASHIMI!!! I've had a violent craving for sashimi ever since I saw that episode of Iron Chef. In fact, I was expecting it to be one of the selections in my sister's wedding's reception, given that the decor was Japanese and all. No such luck; I enjoyed some mixed cuisine instead, with chicken teriyaki, lechon, chop suey, fish fillet, etc.

Originally, mother suggested we dine at Pancake House. But I changed my mind; I opted for Tokyo Tokyo instead. Aside from my usual Beef Misono sumo meal, I had the aforementioned Tuna sashimi, along with some Tuna Tekka Maki, some iced mango jelly dessert and their yummy red iced tea. I swear, their iced tea is pure ambrosia. Either that or they mix it with some cocaine. Whichever.
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Did anyone else notice how hot it was today? God, I was melting. Normally, long walks really don't bother me much, but today, I could barely make it to my room. It's not like I did too much: traversing the MRT stations, from AS to MSI and back, commuting, chilling at the arcade, walking round the mall and stuff. When I got home, I could not turn the air conditioner's knob fast enough. Ack. Wala lang. Basta yun, hang henet sa labas... haay diyos ko!
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completely wrong thought(s) of the day:
-O ayan! Hopefully, nasa taas na naman ang tagboard! Woot woot!
-Nakuha ko na ang mga resulta ng "Eng 11 idol," yung quiz namin na kakanta kami ng something that is a good example of poetry. Ang pinili ko ay "Pardon Me" by Incubus. Ang average grade ko ayon sa mga hurado (i.e. mga kaklase ko) ay 1.42. Ok sana, karamihan mga 1.25 at 1.5, kaso may mga lecheng nagbigay sakin ng dos at 1.75 na humatak ng grade ko. Grr...

Ang saya nung mga comments nila! Heto ang iilan: (all based on memory, for I am too lazy to grab the comments from my backpack)
-Astig!
-You're different.
-The presentation is very "you."
-I can feel the angst! I'm surprised, but... pleased. =)
-You sang well... =)
-You need to explain to us more why you chose those words.
-Good, but you have to explain it better. Combustion? Individuality? What are they?
-I am not familiar with the song, but I appreciate how you introduced it to me.
-Good insights on individuality and escapism.
-Are you a rocker? Astig! I agree, it is poetic! Rock on dude!
...and my personal favorite:
-You can be a rock idol! It's hard to reach those high notes!

Oh gosh! Rock idol daw! Wala namang ganyanan, feel ko tuloy seryosohin... *ideas-ideas*... Nyahahahahahahaaaaa!!!

Defining Angst

today's musical inclination: Edgewater - Eyes Wired Shut
-"Eyes wired shut
Running through my brain"
-That is enough for now, mortal.
------------------------------
I am positively livid with rage. I swear, I feel like raising some hell, and when that happens, watch out. Argh... I don't wanna talk about it. The mere thought of it aggravates me.

My sister got married today. (I intend to write a post about it sometime) If Francis Ford Coppola or Mario Puzo is correct, then this is the day when the godfather cannot refuse any favors from his friends. Luckily, no one asked my dad, a bona fide would-be godfather, for any acts of murder or anything like that.

Ironically, I want to commit one of three "-cides": suicide, homicide, genocide.

I have the soul of an arsonist, or at least, one of my possible multiple personalities does. Whenever I think of mass destruction, I always think "fire." I wanna watch things burn, slowly, into tiny little ashes. When I think of one's reaction to suddenly catching fire, I laugh. I imagine some stupid idiot who's hair bursts into flames for no reason, soon has a fire spreading all over his upper body, flails his arms violently and, in a final, desperate attempt to quell the raging inferno, jumps out of the third floor right through a glass window. (just like in the movies, except the guy actually dies) When I think of that, I don't feel sad; I feel like laughing my ass off.

I have tickets to watch DLSU vs. ADMU on Sunday, courtesy of my La Sallian friend Jo. Now, for some reason, she wants to cause some guy immense pain. She went so far as to ask me whether I could talk my SRB friend into beating up this guy for some cash, and I swore I'd try. Heh. Seems like I'm not the only one who's in a rage tonight.

Whenever I have random gripes, I text Katt about it. Apparently, she was in no better mood than I. We were both pissed fucking off. Hell, there were three of us who were really, really pissed off at something tonight. For once, I have companionship and camaraderie. For once, I am not alone. Well, that makes me feel better.

Yeah right. I need to get high or something.

Oh, and we got into the "Freshman Henyo sa Math" finals sponsored by the UP Math Club. I will devour the competition... literally. I will kill anyone who beats our team. I will separate his flesh much like we do with beef, pork or poultry. I will bite his raw, bleeding tissue right off the bone. In effect, this will give me his strength, that is, if we are to believe the ancient wisdom of societies past. If all of this is true, then I will be the smar-fuckin'-test freshie math major in the history of forever. Yet another reason to fear me. Well, outside of the fact that you'll most likely encounter me on the street with a baseball bat in one hand and a blowtorch in the other sometime during the next few days.
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completely wrong thought of the day: I just realized something. A person can be driven to suicide under extremely stressful situations. Cigarettes help relieve stress, but they cut eleven minutes off your total lifespan (per stick). Hmm... help me with the math here: eleven minutes of your life shot from nicotine or the rest of your life shot from stress-induced suicide?

Punks!

Life of a Salesman

today's musical inclination: Dashboard Confessional - Carve Your Heart Out
-"Oh Look now, there you go with hope again
But I'll be sure your secret's safe with me
Oh you're so sure
I'll be leaving in the end
Treatin' me like I'm already gone"
------------------------------
We tried to go to church this morning, but as usual, we were too late. We had to make do with another of my mother's memory verses in the car while driving towards Glorietta, where we usually go to have lunch. Heh. So much for salvation.

During the drive, dad said a most peculiar thing. He said he had been busy from the moment I was born, and that he was not able to spend as much time with me as he did with my sisters. What perplexed me was not his statement, for it was most certainly true, but the fact that he realized what he had done. I always thought he figured I was doing all right. My fault I suppose; I was always "the good kid," which is entirely by my own choosing, mind you. Yeah, I've had my walks on the dark side. It's been fun, but much too stressful. Being good can be rather relaxing, actually. Try it sometime.

Dad was never the picture perfect example of what a fatherly figure should be. He doesn't exactly "get" me or my sisters, he's always busy, and he has a second family. He doesn't go home every day of the week, only on Wednesdays and weekends. I see him only on weekends and special occassions. I liked to assume I got along fine, but then I realized the extent of the damage that his absence had done to me. The fact that I crave attention seemed only more natural now; I never knew it, but I had been exposed to deep, deep layers of neglect, which, though not exactly on the extremes, have hurt me in one way or another nonetheless.

He tries. Yes, his attempts are pathetic. I don't care. At least he tries. Sure, nothing can make up for 17 years, but that does not stop him, and that is something that has earned him my respect. How I scorned him when I found out about my half-brother, his mistress, everything. That did not matter anymore. He was my father, and that will not change. He cares for me as he has always cared for me, and I can only do the same for him.
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We went grocery shopping right after lunch. It was at this place somewhere near Baclaran. This particular place was not exactly high-end, but it was the type that gave away free samples at each aisle and sold mostly imported products. How ironic that it be surrounded by the houses of people who, in all likelihood, strive diligently just to have one decent meal a day. I dunno, maybe I'm going soft, but I feel like they should just give the leftover samples to those people down the road. Hey, charity work has always been attractive to rich people who like to think they're giving back to the community in some small way (read, so long as it doesn't compromise their lifestyle), so I figure this might even attract more shoppers.

Enough of that. I just wanna talk about food. I got some weird ones today, like mint flavored apple jam, and "strappleberry" flavored juicy fruit (after a few minutes of contemplation, I arrived at a most stunning conclusion--"A! Strawberry saka apple, kaya strappleberry!"). I got some apple filled pastries that I think would go great with some sharp cheddar. I had this craving for tuna sashimi from watching Iron Chef. That Kaga dude was all, "If my memory serves me correctly, the Japanese have a saying on how to properly eat tuna: 'cook it on your tongue.' This means that tuna fat boils at very low temperatures..." and so on and so forth.

Gah. I'm gonna be fat forever.
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completely wrong thought of the day:
some dude (sd): Oi. 'Wag ka ngang haharang-harang sa daan!
me: Oi. Sino ka nga pala? (fyi, kaklase ko siya sa basketball; napaisip muna ako syempre)
sd: Anong year mo na? Mukha kang matanda.
me: First year. Bobo! PE 2 nga eh!
sd: Ows? Akala ko repeater ka.
sd again: Ano course mo? Tingnan natin ang iyong kapalaran...
me: BS Math 'Di ako pumasa ng BAA!!!
sd: A, malapit ka nang maging teacher! Ampanget ng course mo.
me: Hehehe... Baka mag-shift ako sa BAA next year. Wala akong kilalang sikat na alumni ng CS!!!
sd: Ano yun, accounting? Asa ka pa tarantado.
me: Oo... ikaw, ano course mo? In time I will own your soul and the souls of your kin, and will continue to do so for many generations.
sd: IE. Mas maganda course ko sayo.
me: A... 'Di ko alam yan, pero eng'g yan siguro. Hem hem... No comment.

No offense sa eng'g/BAA/math peeps. Por komik epeks lang po. Piss awt. ^__^

What Keeps the Stars Burning

today's musical inclination: Muse - Time is Running Out
-"Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it"
------------------------------
Hello there. You. Yes, you. Is it nice where you stand? Do you ever find yourself drowned by the sunshine? Do you think it is a touch too hot under the glow of the spotlight? No, huh?

You like it, don't you? All the attention, all the praise, all the glory. Glory for what, you ask? Why, for being normal! For being a palatable human being. For being someone that everyone can relate to.

It's like a drug, right? A bad habit that you can never quite kick... Goodness me, did I just say "bad" habit? Ahahaha! How foolish of me! It can't be bad if only I perceive it as such after all.

Gosh, how I envy you! Look at all the faces staring at you from the crowd! They all smile like you smile; they all wear their hair just as you do; they all wear something that seems a lot like your fabulous ensemble; they mouth your lines in tandem with your lips; they move their hands in synch with yours; they see their lives being played out on the stage in front of them. Yes, I really do envy you. Everything in your world seems so... so...

...so safe.

What's that? Oh! What of MY world, you ask? Ahahaha... You don't want to know. No no, really, I'd rather not talk about it. It's for your own good, you know. Ah, but still you persist! Oh, poppycock! All right, I will tell you a little bit about it then.

My world is nothing at all like yours. My world is enveloped by a perpetual darkness. Its inhabitants are the creatures of the night, persecuted the very moment they step on your most sacred ground. I know, I know. I make it sound horrible, don't I? It's not that bad actually; it can be rather comforting at times. Sure, it gets cold down there, and yes, I do get terribly lonely rather often, but there is something about the backstage that endears me far more than anything in your centerstage.

Can I tell you a secret? I am not at all like you. Well, at least, not in terms of how others take me. Your people accept you for who you are. You are one of them after all, so why shouldn't they? For some reason, however, I cannot be treated similarly. Honestly, it makes no sense to me. Is it my fault that I reside in the land of eternal rain? Ah, yes, that was my decision; I nearly forgot. And yet, it eludes me why this should have any bearing on them at all. Why does it matter? Forgive me, but I do not understand. (perhaps I never will... sad, isn't it?)

Even in my realm I am treated rather coldly. You see, our people are not at all alike either. My people do not always smile; their hairstyles are not always the same; their clothes are very much diverse; not all of them choose to speak; not all of them choose to move; there is no such thing as one generalization for all of their lives. It all seems so unstable, so chaotic, so volatile, does it not?

Whatever. It's home to me, and that's what counts.

Why did I choose to live here in the first place? I don't know. I just stumbled across it and liked what I saw. Everyone seemed so refreshing... so unique...

...so different.

Frankly, everyone in your realm is so alike. I have trouble distinguishing you from that girl on the third row, or that man standing to get popcorn, or that little boy who fell asleep in the back row. You may all look different, but you don't act any different. What is this body but a vessel of the soul anyway? Everyone in here HAS to be just like everyone else. Your paths, though not exactly coinciding, cannot stray too far away from one another, because that proves you are not alone, that you are not one-of-a-kind, which is not a bad thing at all since there is safety in numbers. Right?

Call me nutty if you wish. I wouldn't disagree. The fact remains: I would rather live dangerously in my own skin than live securely in someone else's.

If only you felt the same... then, perhaps, I wouldn't have to be so alone...
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I actually learned something from my AP teacher today! Apparently, one's mind can play tricks on you to try and hide your emotions. For example, it can fool you into thinking you have forgotten about someone to try and hide the fact that you miss that person immensely. It's true! Oh, come again? How did this come up within the context of our conversation? Ah, well, err... It's funny you see OH SWEET MOTHER OF WHAT'S THAT??!? *points behind you* *bashes your head on the monitor* *runs away*

How to Take Over the World

today's musical inclination: Weezer - Pink Triangle
-"I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth"
-Ahh, fourth grade...
-Wait a sec, Weezer? Diba yan yung sinulat ni Alden? ;)
------------------------------
I love the smell of tyranny in the morning...

My plan for world domination has begun to unfold. Don't blink, 'cause you might just find a long wire sprouting from the ceiling connected to your cerebellum when you choose to open your eyes. You will be hooked to what is known as "the collective," where all thought patterns are monitored such that, in the event that we find certain rebellious emotions beginning to well up in you, we will be duly notified and you will be subdued.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take it from the top.

First off, I've already mentioned my vice grip on technology and how I intend to cause panic and chaos the world over. Next, I've given you a taste of my elite global domination training program. Then, I gave you a hint of my immensely powerful telepathic and telekinetic powers. Lastly, I've been ridiculed my entire life because of my name, so what better way to make people respect it (and me, ultimately) than to force them to respect it?

In traditional evil villain fashion, I shall reveal to thee mine plan so far. And yes, you are dangling over a shark tank on a rope with a giant laser beam aimed at your forehead right now, though you're likely to escape... BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM REVEALING MY PLAN ANYWAY!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

The foundations of my plan is not to be found in previous entries. It revolves not on contaminated diskettes, mandatory rap anthems or my evil powers. Rather, it revolves on a much more massive and powerful force, a pseudo-realistic matrix that has captured the hearts, minds and souls of the populace. It is a body much more evil than I, causing many to spend countless hours as mindless drones desperately searching for some form of indirect contact with other organic life-forms. It is a force that I like to call...

Fear this, bitches!

Yes, friendster. While you are certain to question my sanity, think about "the math" for a bit. I can have up to 500 friends, right? Suppose I found a way to turn those 500 friends into loyal minions, say, by posting a Bulletin saying "if u dont swear ur undying loyalty 2 me ur acount wil b deleted..." Bam! 500 minions just like that! Too small a number? Then add, "...pass dis on 2 all ur friends or ur account wil b deleted," to said message. Suppose all my friends have 500 friends themselves. That means each of my friends will have 500 minions, and my minions' minions are therefore MY minions! Check the digits: 500 x 500 = 250,000! A quarter of a million! Doing the same to my third degree friends, 500 each as well, turning them into my minions' minions' minions, and everyone in my personal network would have sworn their undying loyalty to me! Don't think that could lead to a lot? Blow your mind on this: 250,000 x 500 = 125,000,000. That's 125 million evil minions all grovelling at my feet! Well, give or take a couple hundred thousand, considering multiple accounts, common friends, etc.

Granted, that falls a little short of America's 293.9 million and way short of China's 1.27 billion, which means my military strength might be lacking, in numbers at least, should these countries somehow get all their citizens to oppose your campaign. Ah, but fear not! Take solace in the fact that I am not alone! There are plenty of other people who want to rule the world! I shall make friends with these people and form alliances (just like on Survivor!).

How many friends do I need to make? 51. No more, no less. Why? Well, if each person does the same thing on friendster as I did, then: 51 x 125,000,000 = 6,375,000,000! That means we 51 hopeful overlords will control 99.84% of the world's population! And how, pray tell, am I to get them to follow me? By fear! I will threaten them using my aforementioned contaminated diskettes, since most aspiring overlords rely heavily on computers and the Internet.

All I need now is some sort of hierarchal scheme to keep things in check. I have to make sure that they know I'M the one calling the shots, since this was, of course, my idea. I shall hereby appoint myself as the godfather of the Domination Preparatory Society (DPS for short). My next ten tyrants will be the "founding fathers," who will handle the trivial tasks that I needn't waste energy on. Ten more will be in charge of surveillance and espionage, making sure no one is getting any "ideas" on stopping DPS. Twenty-five of the other tyrants will be normal members, but they can upgrade to "Area Boss" level by paying a small fee, which will change nothing really, it's just that they might prefer that title over "member." Five more of the tyrants, hand-picked by yours truly, will be the alalays. They're the ones who take care of all the dirty work. Should we be discovered in any way, one of these people will be used as the scapegoat. Basically, if this were a video game, we have five lives and that's it, Game Over. Oh, and one of those five will be my right-hand man, who will be uber-loyal and stuff like that.

And with that, I take over the world by force. Honestly, what's 10 million strong compared to 6.375 billion strong? Then again, I might end up with all the panisies who don't know how to hold a gun and stuff. Oh well. If all else fails I can always rely on my immensely powerful telekinetic abilities. Even if someone manages to stop me, I can at least raise some hell before they do.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I have a question. You know that show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"? My sister and I suspect Thom Filicia is a Filipino. More than the fact that he looks Filipino, his name is so pinoy too. t-H-o-m *emphasis on H* But still, Filicia sounds kiinda pinoy too. Whaddaya think? (obviously, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, never mind then)

When All I Need is a Whack Upside the Head #1

today's musical inclination: Dice and K9 - Itsumo
-"Itsumo kokoro we hoshii itsuka
Dare katu mata koi nei utchitimo
Itsumo kokoro we nei iro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara"
-Don't ask.
------------------------------
It is in the least anticipation of change that I found myself lately running around circles. And who would have thought that now, aside from academic shell and minor mishaps, this so-called love is tearing me apart? I would definitely be the last one to expect this.

For all its seeming frivolity, its devouring of the internals, and the sleepless nights it entails, the love is surely of no fleeting quality, like this one you experience when you are exasperated over this traffic jam or something. Sure once in a while I get to take her off my mind, like when I get to catch a nap, watch some WWE, and munch on a really nice chocolate bar. But then again, when I start complying with my acad papers, I get to be ensnared by her strong command of this written word. When I board my morning jeepney, I get to see her face on this passenger in front of me. And when I begin my MP3 ritual, right then and there, at this flash of this first beat—I get to hear her voice resonating from this slim wire of my headset. I’ve done all sorts of suppression, and yet, at this end of this day, everything I’ve tried fails.

Oftentimes, I wish the law could have just ordered me to prop myself against the wall and face a vandal-free partition. Just so I could momentarily take my mind off of her. Just so I could focus my energies on what primarily matters then: studies, family, friends, and even my occasional tantrums. But now, I realize, it’s no longer a life for myself alone; it has fast metamorphosed into a life where she is but a vital installation.

Clearing it out, she hasn’t even shown any sign of reciprocating the goddamn feeling. And yet, I’m already on the verge of being dispatched to a mental asylum. I am not under a conducive state of mind to analyze what the heck struck me, but as far as I’m concerned, this prognosis is somewhat clear: I’m always thinking and looking out for her.

Perhaps, what hit me exists in a yet unplumbed realm.

Well, the joke must really be on me. In spite of the intense affection I harbor, I cannot summon a bit of courage to blurt it out straight to her nonchalant face. How I wish two templates were aptly mounted on my mind. This first one, when she decides she could actually reciprocate the love. This template would propel electrons to rush through every nerve of my body, pleasing me enough that I no longer want a million dollars or a 1.0 in my subjects. And this other template, when she sports an empty face after I drop the bomb, initiating a torturous silence enough for me to shove myself beneath the ground. This template would activate a thousand profanities, and transform me into one raving lunatic screaming at the top of his lungs: Damn you! What kind of monster are you to lure me into thinking that you can eventually love me back? How dare you disrupt the harmonious equilibrium of my tedious life! How sadistic of you to have treated me so well only to leave me here, hanging and gasping for breath!

I never wanted to entertain any thoughts of expecting something in return, but I am no phony showbiz personality to deny that some part of me is still hoping that someday, somewhere, I’ll get to have a share of her affection. Or even love. During the dead of the night, this dream sinks in an irrepressible manner: I see her hand perfectly fitting mine, both of us fooling around at the outskirts of this campus. This world is all black and blue and we don’t give a single care. All else fades in the background.

But of course, I do not subsist in a world where “the perfect ending” does. And so during moments of desperation, I get to wallow at the idea of her one day falling for another guy. Although it lacerates big time, a surge of realization creeps through the fantasy: She may, or most likely, may not be in love with me. I may just be another fan fancying the hottest movie star in town. I may just be another bookworm delighting over the omnipotent hero. Or…

I may just be another best friend stereotype from all those teen movies who has no other purpose than for ego-boosting debates, for YM chats when no one is online on her list, and for listening to her when her man isn’t treating her right.

I hate to make it sound as if she was born to inflict pain on my person or something. And I despise more the fact that while thoughts of her console me during my refuge at dusk, this same musings of her confront me with this reality that not everyone escapes unscathed in this sojourn called love, if one may even call it love when only one of these two parties may be at the receiving end.

Being a firm believer of synchronicity, my hopes are held high: this universe will pity me and somehow conspire to make her mine. If not, would it be too bad to move a few limbs to make it happen all by myself? I’ve been thrust into the guessing games, but in the one, clues come as seldom as Halley’s Comet does. And I’m already running out of oxygen, ready to expire anytime. Will she even turn back when I give her a tap on the shoulder? Or am I going to forever lure myself into thinking that persistence comes with a prize?

Whatever this structured ending may be, it’s but a pleasant surprise that I somehow get to gamble and play my cards. I know I am not the only one dwelling in this sea of hoping and wishing and being crushed by someone. There are plenty of us out there, and who knows, maybe I am one of those who are just hoaxed by a nasty farce and bound for the scrap heap.

If only forgetting love is as easy as shipping out of the wrong room, saying to yourself “Oh no, you have entered the wrong door today. This is not where you are supposed to go…”
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: Crossing streets is starting to suck immensely. Damn cars don't know when to stop! It's not like video games where you get a continue if you get run over either. You get hit, you DIE. Time your touchdown Superbowl-winning run wrong and you won't get a second try. It's like, SPLAT! Congratulations! You're roadkill!

My Virtual Post-It Note

today's musical inclination: Incubus - Privilege
-"I see you in line dragging your feet
You have my sympathy
The day you were born you were born free
That is your, that is your privilege"
------------------------------
Maigsi lang 'to. I just wanna say some things before I forget.
 
Could anyone help me out? Suggest naman kayo ng mga kanta na sa tingin niyo ay poetic. (wag yung Vincent, kinuha na ng ibang tao eh). This is for Eng 11, so only English songs. (OPM/J-Pop fans please remain seated!) I'm already considering Stellar and Ghost in You, so anything that is a touch more thought-provoking would be nice.
 
I got my speakers up and running! Woot woot!
 
Narinig ko na yung Astro. Astig! Would it be weird if I said I thought Che Che was cute? It must be those braces... I'm a bit of a sucker for braces, weird as it may sound. And, err, for glasses as well... I am such a nerd. >_<
 
completely wrong thought of the day: *today's somewhat altered dialogue from AS is courtesy of Jam*
 
Jam: Patingin nga nung curriculum ng BS Math.
me: Sure. *hands over curriculum*
*Jam stares at the paper for a while*
me: Hey, I have a question. Ano yung Math 1? Math for general knowledge? (or something like that)
Jam: Yan ata yung history of math eh...
me: Ano naman 'tong Math 2? Math for everyday use?
Jam: Hmm, basic math siguro.
me: They should rename Math 1 "Math for retards". *both of us laugh*
Jam: Ang sama mo!
me: Oh wait, dapat ata Math 2 ang math for retards... Say, what's worse than a retard? Braindead zombies? Living vegetables?
Jam: Wag kang ganyan! Marami akong kilalang Math 1 no!
me: What, and they're all retarded?
Jam: Ang sama mo talaga! Math for Morons kaya...
me: Onga no! Walang dating yung iba eh. Basically, Math 1 is Math for Retards and Math 2 is Math for Morons. Right?
Jam: Math Major ka nga!
 
I can't really diss people for taking Math 1 or 2 though. Given a chance, if, say, I had a different course, I would probably take that as well. Hey, it's an easy uno, and an uno is an uno is an uno, right? Besides, it isn't as if Math 17 is that much harder I guess. I just like to... hmm... "exaggerate," if you will. :D
 
Hindi ko na lang nadagdag "E pano kaya yang Math 11..." Peace. ;P

Memo to my Future Self

today's musical inclination: Eraserheads - Pare Ko
-"O! Diyos ko! Ano ba naman ito?!
Diba?! Tang ina! Nagmukha akong tanga!
Pinaasa niya lang ako!
*full emphasis please* Lecheng pag-ibig 'tooo!"
------------------------------
Stupid Yeo. Stupid Cardona. If it weren't for them I could probably cheer for La Salle, even if they beat UP by 1 point yesterday. Everything seemed to swing in our favor: it was the first UAAP game that Jam (and presumably her friend) had watched live, it was the first time my sister's fiancee had seen a game in four years, and I, soon-to-be supreme evil dictator of the whole entire world, whose negative forces of energy caused Joseph Yeo to miss the last shot against Adamson, was in attendance. What could have possibly gone wrong?
 
Well, my sister's fiancee suddenly got the notion to rip off the maroon UP flag that they give away at the games and use the plastic stick as a mock arrow for aiming at the La Sallians. It was at exactly that moment that the Archers had started mounting their comeback. In the end, we lost by a point. What does this prove? Nothing, if you don't consider the fact that I did the exact same thing with a DLSU flag (without the arrow bit) during the DLSU vs. AdU game. The moral of the story? NEVER rip off a playing school's flag while sitting on said school's side.
------------------------------
Things are getting a bit harder for me in UP. I've been coming home exhausted lately, and even Math 17 is getting kind of not-so-easy. Ack... maybe I should do that "thing" that everyone talks about... what's it called? Studying? Or is it reading? Something like that, but mind you, my translation skills are slightly rusty.
 
I've been feeling... hmm... how should I put this...
 
Ok, let's put it this way. If I met myself from, oh, about six or so months ago, that past self would kick my ass. Hard. It's just that I realized that I've been such a wuss lately, and I really don't know why.
 
It is with due justification sometimes. For example, I'm in the College of Science, right? Who the hell graduated from the College of Science? No one knows, no one cares. Now, consider the people from CMC, or from the College of Law, or from Econ. Count 'em.
 
Heeheehee.
 
That is why I have chosen to follow the "course." The "course" is basically my ever-changing gameplan of sorts, and it's looking pretty good right now. The one semi-sure thing right now is I'm gonna get my ass outta BS Math, or if I stay, I'm gonna make damn sure I make something of myself. Since I'm pretty damn sure I won't be making it big as a writer or something like that, I will concentrate on making myself the richest-ass bastard ever! I will be a sellout "wit da skillz to pay da billz yo!" I refuse to accept my "destiny" as a *shiver* teacher! (AUGH! NOOOOO!!!) Virtu over fortuna baby!
 
Without further ado, I present to you... DA KORS!!! (there will be no Irish girls singing! Punks)
-After graduating from BS Math, I will take the Law Aptitude Test and get a law degree. Whether or not I actually become a lawyer is irrelevant, as I am only after the business background. Cash money baby!
-If I get good enough grades, I will shift to Business Administration with Accountancy. This is a win-win situation, since graduating from this course alone is pretty much sufficient for my kinda lifestyle.
-If I don't get into BAA or into the College of Law, I'll take up actuarial science (or am I taking that up right now?). I hear these durned matheematikal folks plum make sum goood money...
-In any case, I'll likely have an extended stay in UP, which is fine by me I suppose. I mean, I'm not gonna be a broadcaster in a snap like some people I know. Something Mass Comm-related appeals to me though, so I might leaf over their offerings real quick.
-Katt says Jessica Zafra took Comparative Lit. Hmm...
-If all else fails (i.e. my grades), then there's always...
"Kuya what's that?"
"It is the dreaded lair of tormented souls! It is the scariest place in this or any other realm or dimension! It is where people who have nothing else to look forward to in life go to smoke weed and fantasize about internet orgies all day! It is... it is...!"
*booming, evil voice comes out of nowhere* "D-C-T-I!!!!!"
 
AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
 
completely wrong thought of the day: I have either a short paper to finish or some charred animal flesh to devour. I should probably study for Math 17, and I have to get a decent night's sleep. Yet here I am, blogging away, saying irrelevant things that no one really cares about. Heh... I'm making the world a better place already!
 
*How?*
 
...screw yourself with a stick! Smacktard.
 
(Sorry, I got nothin')