Cilice

today's musical inclination: Eraserheads - Ang Huling El Bimbo
-"At lumipas ang maraming taon
'Di na tayo nagkita
Balita ko'y may anak ka na
Ngunit walang asawa
Taga-hugas ka raw ng pinggan sa may Ermita
At isang gabi nasagasaan sa isang madilim na eskinita
Lahat ng pangarap ko'y bigla lang natunaw
Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw..."
-Not just for tonight, but for the last few nights at that. I can't get this song outta my head.
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October nights in the Philippines often come with rain showers, as is the case for tonight. Before, this was always a good thing. I have always loved the rain. I remember once back in high school when I had to commute on my way home. Right outside the door to our condo I got stuck in this monster shower. I just stood their, keys in hand, listening to the raindrops beat down on me. It was nice, now that I think about it. In a weird, almost surreal way, I had enjoyed every second of it.

Now the rain evokes mixed emotions. A part of me will always love the way the rain seems to wash everything clean when it bears down on this world, but lately, it's also been a little sad. I've never been the type who gets depressed when it rains. If anything, it used to cheer me up. Then again, not a whole lot cheers me up these days.

It's probably nothing really. Maybe I'm just bored, and as is often the case, this leads to depression.

But sometimes I can't help but entertain the thoughts. This is my life, and in comparison to everyone else I know, it sucks. Self-mutilation seems feasible, logically speaking. I am imperfect, thus something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me because I have done something wrong. Those who commit wrongdoings must be punished, and therefore I must be punished. It's not anyone else's business to do so for me, so I must do so myself. I am totally screwed.

That's the twisted side of me thinking. I guess I try to fight it... sometimes I'd rather not. It gets exhausting. I'm so tired of waging war against myself. I'm just thinking, hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad you know? Succumb to these... things. Whatever. Act on impulse. Ride the winds of fate and see where I land. I could end up worse off but at least I tried something.

Nah... I have too much time on my hands. That's all there is to it.
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Completely wrong thought of the day: I have this idea for a reality show. We could get like a bunch of people to sign-up at peyups.com and basically, you know, do member stuff. They try to send artiks and make new threads and generally interact, either pissing people off or making lots of new acquaintances. Every week, a panel of judges will check how each person is doing, say, by number of artiks, mem status, PMs, comments, acquaintances, overall impact etc. The person who has the lowest "rating" amongst all these categories gets fired... by Eddie Gil. And he does that three-finger spin thing that Trump used to do on The Apprentice. The winner gets to stay as a columnist, and... that's all I got for now. I don't even have a title. Obviously, it'll take up to maybe more than a year to complete, since a single artik takes a couple of months on average before it gets published. And also, the show is completed before it is aired and it gets no publicity whatsoever, so, you know, so the peyups peeps have no idea they are amongst would-be stars... or would-be popularity whores. Same difference. Take your pick.

Hair-Brained Schemes: Part 2

today's musical inclination: Kitchie Nadal - Huwag na Huwag Mong Sasabihin
-"Oh...
'Wag na 'wag mong sasabihin
Na hindi mo nadama itong
Pag-ibig kong handang
Ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo..."
-I know other people don't exactly get it, but I like Kitchie Nadal. I really do! I mean, her songs are good. At least I find them to be really good... plus she's cute... and she's got a really sexy voice... and I think she's supposed to be smart or something. You see? What's not to like?
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Kitchie

*bgm plays*
Maalaala mo kaya...
Dear Ate Charo...

Ok let's drop this. I mean, the whole Maalaala thing anyway.

Yesterday was crazy... no wait. It was a little more than that. It was insane, and I mean, absolutely insane. Of course, I shall elaborate. (you knew I would)

My Monday schedule was pretty much fixed by Sunday afternoon. I would go to DPS first and help Kxia prep for the press con, maybe catch up with my third year adviser (she got into her MA in educational psychology by the way, so once again, congratulations) then head home. A little later, a friend of mine asks if we can play Warcraft in the afternoon. I said ok. A little later still, she says they have some sort of business venture to take care of, so maybe we could just hang there instead. I just agreed to everything. I didn't care. I had all the time in the world.

After my short stop at DPS, I waited at the eternal tambayan of true blue Dilimanians, McDo Commonwealth. None of my friends had arrived even after I had finished my lunch, so I decided to hit the nearby arcade. I met my friend RB there, so we decided to come back down to McDo and wait for the others. Somewhere in between our Kjwan and Yellowcard sound trips, he told me something that should have made me head for the door and run like hell. (though I did not, of course) This business, apparently, was the same blasted pyramid scheme that some girl tried to get me into about a month ago. I thought It'd be ok, because I assumed my friends who were in the network would go do their business while I would hang out at Megamall with my other friends who weren't in the network until it was time to go home. No worries right?

Wrong. When we got there, not only were we a ride or two away from Megamall, we were also supposed to stay for their seminar, apparently. "That's the whole purpose of us going here!" said my friend. It turns out she had gotten herself involved in this thing and had put it off for quite some time. Her friends who had recruited her were starting to get pissed off. We (my friends and I who weren't in the network) were there not really to be recruited but merely so my friend could say, "Ayan o, meron naman akong mga prospect eh, mahirap lang talaga na i-convince silang sumali..." Translation? She had dug herself into a hole and we were there to pull her out.

This pissed me off. A lot. Maybe I didn't like being lied to. Maybe I felt like I wasted my whole day. Maybe I was just really looking forward to buying Kitchie Nadal's album while the other peeps I was with were doing God knows what in God knows where. Bottom line? I wasn't gonna waste another nanosecond in that place.

To be fair, we did try to help at first. We were gonna stay for the seminar and jet, just to really convince those other guys that my friend had us semi-hooked. But no, we all felt like going home. I was the only one who spoke, but I swear, I was speaking for all of us. Naturally, confrontations were unavoidable. I kinda snapped at my friend for wasting our time. I didn't mean to, and at the time I don't think I sounded mean at all, but looking back, I guess I kinda was.

There was talk. A lot of talk. One of my non-network friends tried to sort the whole thing out. There was more talk. I really didn't know what about or why. I was just chilling under a lamppost with a couple of my other friends. All three of us were complaining and wishing we had just stayed home instead. Finally, it was time to go. Thankfully, not only did we retain our non-member status, we also got to trudge right to Megamall so that I could try and grab that Kitchie Nadal album.

Shortly after arriving at Megamall, my friend apologized. I apologized too. I guess I overreacted then. It's not like I wasn't empathic to their cause. I was. I knew exactly what it must have been like, especially since money is concerned. I understand that sometimes people get a little desperate. (which is not to say that my friend's attempt was desperate; I would have done the same thing I guess)

But, well, what can I do? I don't care much for these things. The thing is, I have more money than I can spend. I don't need to earn more, but I don't want to lose any either. That's why I have more money than I can spend. Know what I mean? That doesn't mean I don't believe in taking risks. I do. I believe in taking calculated risks. Things like that scheme? Just too unstable for my taste. But hey, you wanna get rich quick? By all means try. If you do, I'll be happy for you. Just do your best to leave me out of it. Well, that is, unless charity from you to me is involved... *wink wink*

In retrospect, the day turned out ok. Even though we only walked around Mega and eventually had dinner, it was kinda fun. We had to squeeze through one of the last trains home at the MRT, where we made fun of stupid deodorant or feminine napkin commercials with pretty much the same setting. When I got home, I knew exactly what I would do. (after taking a shower of course, since all that walking left me in a most unpleasant hygenic state)

I got into my room, turned up the airconditioner, and played a rousing, muted game of "Yu-Gi-Oh! Stairway to the Destined Duel" on my GBA-SP while listening to Kitchie Nadal wail away with her guitar...

Oh... 'wag na 'wag mong sasabihin...
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Completely wrong thought of the day: May boyfriend na daw si Iya?! Nakalimutan ko na yung pangalan kase wala naman talaga akong pakialama dun. *hack cough Drew Arellano cough 'di ako sure sa spelling* Daw ha, daw. Hindi ko alam kung totoo. O hinde... hindi ito maaari... huhuhu!!! Pero ayos lang. Andyan pa naman si Kitchie eh... *grins smugly*

My sister says if I like somebody, the type that I'm attracted to that person just by looking at them, about 60% of the time they'll like me too. That's because of a little something called pheromones. These are these chemical things that attract other people to us and vice-versa and such and such. Obviously I know a great deal of the details. Now, real quick, how many girls in how many are sure to like me? Three out of five? Nope, sorry. By using the short-hand method of calculations, at least one in five girls that I like should like me too. Know how I got that? Well, 60% is 6 out of 10. So 6 out of 10 girls like me, right? If you split that 10 into two groups of five, that means the six gets split too. There's one group of five girls who all like me, and another group where only one of the girls likes me, since there is one girl left over from the six that like me. So there. I have to find five girls that I really, really like. At least one of them ought to like me too... hahahahaha...

Note: When larger numbers are used, the results get to be... well pretty depressing. If I use 100, the result turns from 1-in-5 to a dismal 10-in-25. (even if you drop one to make 25 even, 10 is smaller then half of 24, which is 12) That is why I opt to stick with the second smallest possible formula, which has just the right touch of optimism. The smallest, of course, is 1-in-2 (taken from 5-drop-1), which is way too optimistic to actually be realistic. So there. I must find five girls that I really really like. Some would go as far as to say it's luuuv. Real love. As the saying goes, happy hunting... ohohohohohoooo!!!!!

Well I wouldn't have to find five girls if only... *gets tackled and sedated* ooohh... *BLAG!*

A Total Mess

today's musical inclination: Madonna - Crazy for You
-"I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's so brand new..."
-Don't even!!! I swear, if I hear one comment about, you know, that, I will unleash the power of TEH RHINE MAIDEN >:) on your sorry punk-ass.
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I'm a mess right now. A total mess.

I have a Chem 1 exam later. I haven't studied at all. I think around 10 or so I'ma prolly hit the books... err, the lecture hand-outs anyway. Gah. I don't care.

I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Fahrenheit 9/11 last weekend on pirated DVD. Nice. Fun. I'd love to do a full-blown review but spoilers are unavoidable in the former and the latter really doesn't warrant a review. It's all good. Fahrenheit was entertaining and Eternal Sunshine was just beautiful.

We saw Feng Shui a couple of days ago. It was ok. It was not without its strong points, but it seems to fall into the "not-scary-just-surprising" category of movies. Now I get what Jam said about that little kid on the bike. Hahaha. Retard. (the kid I mean, the kid on the bike)

I bought a webcam. I thought I'd snap a friendster pic or two, but it turns out I'm just too damn ugly for that. So there, never mind. The cam will be limited to YM chats wherein I am viewing my chatmates' cams or wherein they are using voice chat.

Shit. I hate feeling like this. I told myself I wouldn't feel this way anymore. I hate this. I hate this I hate this I hate this. It's complicated and I don't feel like explaining. I just wanna forget about it. Is that so much to ask?

Make it stop. Please, tama na. Ayoko na ng ganito...
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completely wrong thought of the day: I've been tripping on friendster lately... hahaha. Anyone want a testi? I can write one even if I know absolutely nothing about you, and it isn't those crappy ones that go "I don't know her really, sa net lang, but she seems nice, parang ano, parang ganito, parang ganyan..." Sheesh. They gotta learn to be a little more assertive than that. And that's me, assertive (online anyway hahaha). So there. If you want one lemme know. Nyahaha. As if. Oh yeah, if you want one of course, you gotta add me first. Duh. Look around. My e-mail add's around here somewhere.

Eighteen Shots of Wala Lang

today's musical inclination: Death Cab for Cutie - The Sound of Settling
-"Baa bah, This is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah...
I have a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots"
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I was going to post our Eng 11 class picture here, but that would cause the tagboard to 'port to the bottom yet again. You may view the picture here. It's a li'l fuzzy, but most of the pics in prof's album are. That's ok though. I'm not the type to complain about my privileges.
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I went to my friend's debut yesterday. It's funny. A week ago I was pretty sure I'd opt to stay home, but a few days before the event the text messages started pouring in. "Jaykie, sama ka na! Iniinvite ka naman eh, 'di ka lang niya alam kontakin. Sige na! Marami naman tayo dun eh!" Well gee, if you want me there that badly then I guess I could leave the house for a while. Mustn't disappoint the fans I always say. *wink wink*

What bugged me was the time me and my friends set to meet before actually going to the place. The thing was starting at about 6:30pm, and the time we set to meet was at about quarter to 6. This meant that I'd have to go from Parañaque to QC and then back to Pasig while breathing the insane traffic (my regards to San Miguel and their blasted Oktoberfest for generating all the madness). I figured we'd be at the place no later than 7pm, but it was already about 8pm when we got there. Gah. How tactless. I mean, sure, everyone's on Filipino time, but that is no excuse. I've been trying to kick that nasty habit of mine lately, but in this particular case, no such luck.

When we eventually did get there, everyone was already grabbing some stuff to eat. It was a fairly small affair, actually. There were her family members and about a third of our class during fourth year, along with some friends of hers who were in different sections during high school. So there. We met people, we mingled, we ate. Close friends talked amongst themselves. I was called to participate in eighteen shots. I think I had a shot of brandy. I'm not really sure. Another UP vs. UST quasi-debate ensued. There was a brief period for dancing... and we went home. Yeah, I suppose it's obvious that I was pretty bored. But then, that's not what I came there to do. I wanted to support my former-classmate. Dude, she's eighteen! So like, she's been alive for eighteen years, and like, I went there so she could know that I knew that and I could wish her a happy birthday and like a happy life or something, and dammit, that's what I did.

All right. To tell the truth, I felt a bit out of place. I mean, there were these people who had not seen each other in months and they were all thrilled to high heavens to be seeing each other again. I, on the other hand, could only stick with the people I used to hang with during high school. Geez, even they were busy with other people. But what really bothered me was that everyone seemed to have a life. The Baguio peeps had a life. So did my friend from Los Baños. The Mapua peeps, UST peeps and FEU peeps all had lives. Me? La-dee-da-dee-daaaa...

It's not that I don't have a life. It's not that at all. My problem is that I've been clinging too hard to a life that never existed in the first place. That has to stop. I gotta get a life. That's not to say that I don't have one, because I do, sorta. Thank God I don't have to start from scratch. I can just build on what I have and expand. Hey, it's just like Starcraft! Mwahahahaha!

Oh yeah, side note. Ang ingay nung oldies dun sa debut. It's ok, since it's a family thing, so it's pretty normal. It's just funny I think. Here I was trying my best to maintain my poise when this half-drunk bunch would start jeering and shouting whenever a relative would be called to speak.
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Lumindol daw kagabi? Huh. Hindi ko man naramdaman. Pero malakas daw eh, so... I hope everyone's all right... Um, I guess that's a tad exaggerated though. I haven't even heard any reports of property damages or whatever, which is good. *snap!* Oops! Uhh, just a habit. Yes. Hahahahaha...
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My finals in Math 17 went rather smoothly. I was only able to study this morning at the math building. It was delay after delay really, what with the debut, then the earlier-than-expected time of departure, then the hey-let's-go-to-Megamall-I-wanna-buy-a-webcam-advance-na-lang-sa-allowance-ko... so basically, with 45 minutes left 'til the exam, I flipped through my two notebooks and read all the math stuff. But, well, it turned out okay. I was the first one to finish, so that's gotta be some sort of positive thing, and yes, I got most of the questions for sure.

Before I left the room, our prof showed me my class standing. It's somewhere around 1.25-1.5 I think. I did the math ('cause I'm a math major! Get it? Hahahahaha--ENOUGH! *silence*). Anyway, yeah. Right. So I basically need a 98% on the final exam to get a 1.0, or if it has more weight than the mid-term, a 95 or 96% should suffice. I want an uno to seal the deal with my bizzle fo' shizzle dizzle! Uhh, I mean, for the nth time, I wanna shift to accountancy. An uno in Math 17 will really help my case. Here's hoping...
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Completely wrong thought of the day:
Fresh from UPLB, courtesy of my friend:
If there's a will, so be it.

Wahaha! Ala lang. Natawa ko dun. May isa pa siyang sinabi kaso nakalimutan ko na kung alin. Trippings nila sa kowts namputs.

Semestral Confessions

today's musical inclination: Kjwan - Daliri
-"'di mo na maalala kung saan ka pupunta..."
-"Heto na!"
-"Bastusan na!"
-That's all I could muster, but I love this song! It's teh kewlness!!! XD
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Note: This is an extremely long post. I suggest you stop for a yosi or sandwich or RO or whatever break everytime you see a line of-'s. You have been warned.
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My first semester in UP is over (other than the finals, which I don't consider part of the sem per se). It wasn't what I expected exactly, but that's all right. Yes, I have been whining a lot during the course of the last four or five months, but looking back, it really wasn't that bad. Here's how my classes looked like... *cues bgm of Usher's "Confessions Part 2"*

These are my confessions... just when I thought I said all I can say my chick on the side says she's got one on the way. These are my confessions... man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do. I guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions...
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PE 2 (Basketball Boys)

Everyday: We either do drills, run scrimmage, shoot around or play in a tourney. Usually a combination. We always have the shoot-around.
Mami-miss ko: Meron ba? Guys kami lahat eh, tapos wala naman talaga akong closeness dun. Pero yung mga makukulit bumanat, yun, saka yung mga halimaw na sobrang lakas. Hahaha.
I have learned that: A loss will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Unfinished business: Absolutely nothing.
Memories...
-Maraming celebs sa team namin. Meron kaming Johnny Abarrientos, Sam Cassell, Bruce Bowen, Ben Wallace at Arwind Santos. Yung iba look-alike, yung iba pareho ang hitsura ng game nila. Sa totoo lang, karamihan look-alike lang talaga, eh hindi naman namin alam pangalan nila eh. 'Di na namin tinanong, basta, yun na yun.
-May kaklase kami na nang-aasar, tripping lang ba. Nung naglalaro siya sa semis, hinihiyawan siya ng mga nasa bench, at sinabi niya, "Time to shine!" Magmula noon, bawat score, block, rebound o ano pa man na ginagawan niyang nakapagpapatigil ng oras ay sinisigawan siya ng "Time to shine!" ng mga nasa bench.
-Natalo kami ng one point lang sa finals. Lamang pa naman kami ng bente, anim na minuto na lang ang natitira. Wala ako dun, pero sinisisi nila sa pagkatalo namin ay yung orasan at yung officiating. Sayang, uno pa naman sana kaming lahat.
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Chem 1

Everyday: I struggle to maintain consciousness. This class is too damn early at 7am on Mondays and Thursdays. Usually involves powerpoint presentations. No wait. Always involves powerpoint presentations.
Mami-miss ko: Groupmates ko siguro sa reporting. Yung mga nasa row ko, kahit yung iba blockmate ko naman. Meron pang isa, medyo magkakilala kami pero pag wala lang klase. Taga-Miriam ata dati. Hehe.
I have learned that: Making lethal substances is easy, but illegal. I can't make it myself mind you, but I hear it doesn't take that much to make some VX or some Agent Orange or some Mustard Gas... Ahahahahaaaa!!!
Unfinished business: May second exam pa kami sa October 13. Hindi ko pa rin alam yung room. Kailangan kong mag-aral dito, kasi yung class standing ko sa chem mababa ata. Kailangan bumawi. Kailangan makapag-shift.
Memories...
-Yung isang grupo sa reporting namigay ng ice cream! Woohoo!
-Nung minsang nawalan ng klase sinubukan akong sabihan ng mga kaklase ko, eh 'di ko naman sila kilala at akala ko hindi ako ang kausap nila. Ayun, diretso lang ako, 'di ko sila pinansin. Ang sama, kahit 'di ko naman talaga sinasadya.
-Lahat ng lectures kay manang xerox pinapakuha ko lang sa blockmates ko, pay later na lang 'ka ko. Pumapayag naman sila eh, pwede namang tumanggi. Hahahahaha...
-"What do you get when you combine a Ba atom and two Na atoms? BANANA!!!" May mga bahagi sa powerpoint presentation ni prof na tinatawag na "test yourself," kung saan siya's nagbibigay ng tanong na kailangan mong sagutan. One time lumabas yan. Ang corny, pero natawa ako. Ang labo namputs...
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Soc Sci 2

Everyday: Our prof will discuss some stuff about political thinkers. We listen on good days. We pretend to do so on bad days. Sometimes he asks questions. Sometimes we can answer them. Madalas nagtatanong si boy tanong, na kalimita'y opposed sa viewpoint ni prof.
Mami-miss ko: Yung tatlong girls sa row ko, na medyo closeness ko. Yung dalawang girls sa second row na taga-Fine Arts. 'Di ko sila closeness pero, wala lang, mukha silang astig.
I have learned: UP is basically screwed. The Philippines is basically screwed. If we wanted to, we could take out our laser from the Institute of Physics and fire it at UST (seriously, our prof's words, not mine). Everyone should be paying more for electricity and oil, but they never do. Hence, napocor is constantly in deficit and we are in danger of running out of oil very soon. Likewise, UP students should be paying more for their matriculation fees, but they never do. Hence, other state universities, along with our public school system, are dying. This is because UP gets more than half (around 55% if I'm not mistaken) of the total subsidy that is alloted for state universities and public schools. But, UP is still having a hard time attracting good proffesors to teach because of the low wages. Thus, the quality of education has slowly deteriorated. If my memory serves me correctly, according to Asiaweek, UP started out at number 22 on the list of top colleges in Southeast Asia (or is it Asia as a whole? I forget), but now it's down to number 78. Oh yeah, our prof is just one big walking ray of sunshine.
Unfinished business: Finals are on Thursday. A quick notebook browse should do the trick. Thank God our prof "respects our intelligence" enough so as not to ask us useless bullshit like John Locke's nationality, or the name of Plato's book, or the year that Macchiavelli was born etc.
Memories...
-As you can plainly see, I learned quite a bit. I don't know if that's what prof had in mind, but hey, works for me. Not bad for a really boring prof.
-Turns out our prof is quite famous. I only found that out after a month. Hey, go figure.
-We'll never, ever forget prof's blatant name-dropping habits. In discussing Aquinas, he must have mentioned UST at least four times. In looking at theologians from a purely philosophical standpoint, he mentions Catholic schools like La Salle, Ateneo and, of course, his favorite, UST. In our discussion on Filipinization, he calls UPIS grads illiterate, saying he regrets sending his kids there. He says most businesses are compelled to hire some idiot from Ateneo because UP graduates can't speak good English, which is the language of the workplace. He's kinda funny in a really morbid way. Hehe.
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Philo 11

Everyday: Our prof comes in 30 minutes late. He is all sweaty, for some reason (rumor has it that it's because of his toilet breaks). He teaches, we listen. This class is about as exciting as white rice.
Mami-miss ko: Blockmates ko siguro. Tatlo kami dun sa klaseng iyon. Yung dalawang Chem Eng'g na guys sa likod namin, saka yung isang BS Stat na nakakausap ko minsan.
I have learned: Predicate Logic, Symbolic Logic, stuff like that. It's kinda fun.
Unfinished business: We still have to attend one more of his classes. The untimely delay on Monday made it so we couldn't discuss asyllogistic arguments during the regular course of the semester, so we need to brush up on that before our last exam. The exam is on the 14th as well, right before my Soc Sci 2 exam. Gotta brush up on that too. I need at least a 1.75 to get a 1.something grade, which I really need right now.
Memories...
-One time pumasok siya ng maaga. Nauna pa siya sakin, eh mga 10 minutes late lang ako nun. We were shocked!
-Turns out our prof is quite famous as well. Other philo profs warn their students not to take his classes. Why? Well for starters, he only calls girls to recite, then there is that rumored bathroom break of his... Gh... creepy.
-Pasky is taking his Philo 1 class. She tells me there was this one time that he really tried to keep his hand steady, but it just wouldn't stop shivering. Hmm...
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Math 17

Everyday: Our really nice prof teaches, and we try to listen but some rude arrogant bastards always talk in really loud voices so it can get kinda difficult to hear what ma'am is saying.
Mami-miss ko: WALA!!! As in, wala. Maraming kupal sa block namin, and I don't mean that in a good way. I have to shift. Really, I do. I can't handle three-and-a-half more years with these smacktards. I'm not saying all of them are arrogant retards, but a lot of them are. Sige, gawa tayong isang exception kay Inna. Mami-miss ko siya! Grabeh! Hi Inna! Baka sakaling nababasa mo 'to! Hahahaha...
I have learned: Math in college is boring, but it's as easy as it's always been. I just need to be more careful next time, 'cause that Achilles' heel o' mine is killing me still.
Unfinished business: We have an exam tomorrow, and our finals are on the 9th. I gotta study. An uno in Math 17 will pull my GWA up quite a bit on account of it being worth 5 units. That's just a bit less than a third of my total academic load. GC na kung GC. Whatever. I will not be a math major. I refuse to teach math. The little idiots never learn anyway. Besides, pay's too low. ARGH! Basta, ayokong maging teacher kahit kailan! Isusumpa ko ang araw na napipilitan akong maging guro para mabuhay!!!
Memories...
-Ugh. Maybe I should leave this blank...
-Such a shame. Our prof's really nice, but like I said, how exciting do you think Math 17 can get? I do like it when she teaches us the formula derivations. Gee, my HS teachers never taught me "that." Sometimes she makes these totally corny jokes that I could laugh at in a mocking sorta way except it's still too early in the morning and my brain doesn't function as well as it should.
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English 11

Everyday: Our prof has us read something, and we discuss it in class. Sometimes we have presentations like plays and stuff.
Mami-miss ko: Madami! I met a lot of people in this class. First my seatmates, and my groupmates in the play, especially this one female rocker and FEU fan who's told me like a million times to shift to CMC (more on that later). Then there were quite a few cute girls in this class, and there's one this one girl who I think is really pretty. I kinda wanted to know her better 'cause I felt like we would totally get along, but I never got the chance. Yeah she's in a relationship but that's seriously not what I'm after. Corny pero gusto ko friends lang talaga. She's out of my league anyway. Haay... regrets... Lastly, I'll miss our prof. She was the best prof I had this sem, not to mention one of the nicest and funniest.
I have learned: Stuff about love, poetry and analyzing literature. I know what blank verse is and how to differentiate that from free verse. I know what a Litote is. I know what an iambic pentameter is. I know what "vicarious" means. I know what "haughty" means. I got to work on my mad writing skills a bit. It was a really fun class and I might not have remembered everything that was taught but I believe I learned a good deal from it.
Unfinished business: Sadly, we're all done for the sem. Dammit! I wanted to see that girl again, maybe even talk to her just once...
Memories...
-During the first day, our prof looked really mataray. I thought to myself, "Oh boy, I picked a real winner with this 'un." Turns out that I did. I really did. She was really nice but she understood stuff like angsty tendencies. But, well, all we ever talked about was luuv. I admit I was incessantly rolling my eyes at it at first but then I came to appreciate it.
-Our play got us to be pretty close with some of the people in class. Like I said, there was this one girl who told me lots of times to shift to CMC. That was because, while discussing the play, I insinuated that maybe we should overact to add a little humor to it. Granted, Midsummer Night's Dream is a comedy, but Act 2 isn't that funny. Anyway, I showed them what it looked like. It was over-the-top silliness, and this girl couldn't stop laughing. That's why we had to act the roles as they were, because that girl could not have acted had we done otherwise. Well it turned out okay anyway, so no worries.
-I dunno when I started noticing her, but I couldn't stop looking. I so wanted to talk to her. I really did. The nearest thing to a conversation that we had was when she asked me if I already had a copy of that print-out that we needed to study for one of our exams, just because everyone else was getting a copy. I was hoping we could be in the same group for the play, but alas, it was not meant to be...
-Ang kulit kanina! Kasi last day na, may nagdala ng camera. Actually si prof nagdala rin, videocam pati, para makuhanan yung mga performers sa play. So yun, class picture kami, extra pics pa sa mga may cam. Nung labasan na, dun na nagkulitan! Sigaw ako (idea from my PE 2 classmate hehe) "Open forum open forum! O, sino crush niyo sa Eng 11?! Haay sige na nga! Meron bang may crush sakin ditoh?!??!!!" Magulo na noon kaya hindi rin naman ako masyadong napansin haha. Tapos paglabas ng classroom tambay lang kami dun, yung iba umalis na pero may mga natira pa rin na ayaw pang umalis. "Naghihintay ako ng magpapakain," sabi nung isang groupmate ko sa play. Kinakausap namin kahit yung mga hindi naman talaga namin kinakausap dati. Magugulat ka na lang, kilala ka pala nung tao. Tapos hingian pa kami ng e-mail add sa friendster pati ng yahoo id sa YM. May nagyayaya pa ng yahoo groups. Palitan pa ng cell number (though walang humingi nung sakin at wala akong nakuhang bago huhuhu). Pucha, para kaming high school! I jokingly told my female friend, "Don't worry, friends pa rin naman tayo eh! Magkikita pa tayo ha?!" Kodakan kami sa mismong corridor sa labas ng PH 138. Naharangan na namin yung daan pero hindi na talaga kami nahiya, basta go lang. Nung pauwi na suggestion ko sabay-sabay na lang kami kumuha ng classcard, sabi nila sige, text-text na lang. Nakakatawa! Ang saya ng last day namin sa Eng! But the funny thing is, we hardly even knew each other before that. I think we all just got so caught up in the moment, you know, that this is our last class in Eng for the sem and all that we all just kinda let loose. Goodness, it was a lotta fun though. And no, I still wasn't able to talk to her. I couldn't even say good-bye to her. Gah! Badtrrriiiiiiiiiippp!!!!!!!!!
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So there. That's what I've been up to this sem, other than my lunches with Jam and Pasky. Next sem, here's how it's looking so far:

Mondays and Thursdays - Start at 10am with Math 20, stay at the Math Building for Math 63 up to 12:45pm, go to PH or CAL (not sure, I kinda forgot and I'm too lazy to check) for CW 10 at 1-2:30, then head to CHK for weight training from 3-4pm, and I'm done.
Tuesdays and Fridays - Start at 8:30am with Kas 1 at AS, have an hour-and-a-half to make it to MB for my Math 63 (and likely get a quick bite to eat), head to the Physics pav (or is it bio pav?) for my 1-2:30pm Physics class, and that's it.

I don't feel smarter. I feel nerdier. I've been more GC than ever. My social life is on life support. That's ok though I guess. This sem was not perfect, but it wasn't all that it could have been. Things should be better, dammit. But oh well. May next sem pa. As the saying goes, "Kailangang bumawi..."
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completely wrong thought of the day: You ever notice how TV commercials always involve conyotic kids whining to their equally conyotic parents? They're always like...
"Look mommy, lumalabas na yung sun!"
"Anak, you don't have to worry na. Now there's [insert product name]!"
"It's like, they told me 'oh how cute naman your daughter' and I go 'actually she's my granddughter' and they go 'Huwaaaatt?!?!!?!!!' and it never fails, they always give out a scream."
"Mommy, grabe ha, we're like so late na! I have to meet someone sa starbs pa! Make bilis nga to what you're making gawa!"

I wouldn't want my kids (or my nephew, and yes, the doctor is about 90-plus% sure that I'm gonna have a nephew) to talk like that. They can be good in English, like, "Greetings father. How was your day? Are you well? Would you like to rest?" or they can be good in Filipino, like, "Yo erpats musta na?! Ok ba araw mo tsong? Nangangayayat tayo ah! Kain naman dyan! Easy lang pare dude, baka ma-stroke!" Well okay, not like that. I'd have to hit the kid over the head with a newspaper and say "Woist! Umayos-ayos ka nga! Tantado kang bata ka!" if he started talking like that. Still, it beats conyotic kids. That just sounds wrong, dammit. I swear, if I ever caught my kids talking all conyotic I'd have to re-educate them. The hard way. But hey, they're probably going to be real smart kids. I'm sure they'll know that I'll be doing it all in the name of love... OR WILL I?! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!