For Those Such as I, Who Art Poor in Spirit

Today's Musical Inclination: Pantera - Cemetery Gates

The way we were
A chance to save my soul
And my concern is now in vain
Believe the word
I will unlock my door
And pass the cemetery gates

-I love the guitar accompaniment in this track! Totally bitchin'!
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I remember last year when my friends mocked me for wanting to buy a Kitchie Nadal CD. Those same friends were clueless when I asked them if they knew what "Daliri" was. My five song Sponge Cola EP was also constantly mocked, and I was questioned for even owning the damn thing.

Fast forward to present time. Kitchie Nadal is Tower Records' best-selling CD (at least, when last I checked), Kjwan is pretty much everywhere doing gigs and all, and I positively cannot go a day in school without hearing the word "Sponge Cola" being muttered by somebody within earshot of me. In fact, that five song EP that I rushed out to buy is most likely a collector's item by now, or soon to be, anyway, since it contained two or three hidden tracks and a song or two that were not included in their album, "Palabas". Unfortunately, my so-called friend still has not returned it, and I've lost all hope of seeing it again.

Oh, and I noticed, Kitchie's songs aren't gramatically perfect. In Same Ground, she says "fail" when "fails" would be better I think, and in pretty much all her English songs she mispronounces a word or two. But, that is ok with me. I love the music nonetheless.

I know this looks like it all means something, but it doesn't. Believe me, it doesn't. It's happened before with Hoobastank's "The Reason."
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Now, if only all this somehow constituted a concept paper for Eng 10, I wouldn't be so pissed off at myself this morning.
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It shouldn't be this hard. I should have something, anything by now, but that's not the case. I don't know why. On top of that, my exams in other subjects are shot to hell. This is really annoying, and kinda scary. I've never really failed before, and I do not intend to start now.

But just look at me. My acads are shot. My social life is non-existent. I'm presented with a task or two that I know I can do but here I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. What in the freakin' hell am I alive for, then?!
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An acuaintance of mine got stabbed recently. Thirteen times, I heard. He's alive, though, thank God. I want to visit him one of these days. Perhaps I just will.

I wish I'd been stabbed instead. One thing, though, I wouldn't have held on. I would have given up right there, lying, waiting as I bleed myself dry.

At this point, even the thought of death consoles me.
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Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

It is difficult to be dead, but not any more difficult than it is to be alive.
--um, me. Just me. Uhh... yeah. That's pretty much it.