Smoke and Mirrors

Today's Musical Inclination: 3 Doors Down - Let Me Go

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

-Thank you, cnb, for the mp3. This is, well, my "I'm so emo I'm gay" song at the moment, if I may borrow a line from o3. Hehe. It's more like her song for me and not mine for her, though, since, erm... let's leave it at that.
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I don't dream a lot. No, not a lot at all. I dream maybe once or twice a month. It's been ok. I'm not some lunatic who goes crazy over a stupid thing like not dreaming too much. However, it seems someone in the land of dreams missed me.
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For five nights this week my dreams have had one recurring theme: sex. Yes, sex. All kinds of sex: group sex, live show sex, the promise of sex, the repercussions of sex, and necrophilia, in no particular order. It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate any further, so I will not. Anyway, that has been the recurring theme. Some say that connotes some sort of subconscious desire in me. Hmm...
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The night after that, I dreamt of her. Again. That makes it, hmm, maybe six times. Last week, although I was not able to mention it, I did dream of her too. She was falling into my arms, and for some reason, I told her that I love her. She reciprocated. It was weird, actually. It was the kind of dream that felt so real, it was scary.

This last one is a little weirder though. We were classmates, and then I think she knew how I felt or something. She was mad at me, a playful kind of mad. The kind of mad that girls do with their boyfriends. You know, like, "Hmmmmmphh! 'Di mo na naman pinapansin me! Haay nako, be like that na nga lang!" Well, she was a lot less repulsive than that, but still, you get the context of the situation. Why she was like that I don't know. Never really thought about it. The last part was a little fuzzy, but it involved taxi cabs, the rain, and my leaving her and going out of the building that our class was in before she did, thus leading to her being pretend mad again.
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Last night, I dreamt about this girl that I've been wanting to talk to for a long time now. No, not her, someone else. It's not a romantic thing either, it's just that I notice that this girl seems to be like me, like someone with a sane mind. Honestly, that's all it is. Anyway, in the dream, I did get to talk to her briefly, but that's all. Yeah, actually, that pretty much sums that up.
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Whatever debts the King of All Night's Dreaming had on my tab, they must surely be paid off by now. Six nights consecutive seems a bit much. Not that I don't appreciate seeing her in my dreams, except, they're just that. They're only dreams.

I'm sick of dreaming.
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Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

If you didn't slither away in disgust after that mention of necrophilia, congratulations. You're 1337.

Ok... let's not talk about that anymore.

I'm pissed off. My parents did allow me to go to the UP Fair today and tomorrow, but mom is making me go home at 9. What the --?! Who am I gonna see by then?! Goodness me, how I have been itching for a chance to see Elevator Action again.

Seriously though, she hears like one rumble rumor and now she's all overprotective? That's the risk I take for studying in UP, fair or no. In fact, that's the risk I take for existing. It just freakin' is. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? I don't care if I take a hit or two.

If that's the price I must pay to see Aia De Leon in person, baby, so be it!