Enter the Iron Maiden...

The End of the Calm

2005-03-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

Mga tsong, salamat, ngunit tapos na ang kabanatang ito. Kabalbalan na ang paririto ko.

Kaya mga kaibigan, dating gawi. Rakrakan na! XD
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Please link to raindrops instead. I will only link to you if you request via tag or comment, whether it be on ayrnmaydn or on my first blog. I will not delete this blog, but this will be the last update. All business will now be carried out on raindrops. It's a little dated. Ugly even. Whatever. It's a medium for writing and should be treated as such. I have not the patience for all that other cutesy cutesy shit. So this is the Jaykie, manning the ayrn_maydn for one last time...

Hey, whoever said this calm would be eternal?
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And with that, the ayrn_maydn is no more.

Welcome, once again, to the land of the rain...

Music Match!

2005-02-24T18:05:00.000+08:00

I stole this idea from cnb girl, who stole it from someone else. Here's the deal. Basically, I take my fave lines from 25 random songs on my playlist and write them here. Your job is to guess the titles of the songs, whether it be by tag or by comment. No googling allowed! Winner gets to be my girlfriend. Ahahaha. Just kidding. Y'all get jack squat.

Feeling ko hindi matatapos 'to. I mean, mainstream naman ako eh, saka kaunti lang ang songs ko sa playlist, pero kaunti lang din bumibisita sa blog ko. Ahahaha. Bahala na.

1. The reverend he turned to me/Without a tear in his eye/Nothing new for him to see/I didn't ask him why/I will remember the love our souls had sworn to make/Now I watch the falling rain/All my mind can see now is your

2. ~~But there's still tomorrow/Forget the sorrow/And I can't be on the last train home~~
Lost Prophets, Last Train Home

3. ~~It's a sunny day but you're not around/That doggone rain might as well be pouring down~~
Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cool With You

4. Hey mister diplomat with your worldly aspirations/Did you see your children crying when you left them at the station?/Hey moral soldier you've got righteous proclamation/And precious tomes to fuel your pulpy conflagrations

5. ~~She seems dressed in all the rings/Of past fatalities/So fragile, yet, so tedious~~
Slipknot, Vermillion

6. ~~Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds/Dreaming aloud/Things just won't do without you/Matter of fact/I'm on your back~~
Foo Fighters, Walking After You

7. In my head there's only you now/This world falls on me/In this world there's real and make believe/This seems real to me

8. ~~Kiss me, please kiss me/Kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation/Oh you know it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time/I'll only make you cry 'till our last goodbye~~
Jeff Buckly, Last Goodbye

9. ~~I am one of those melodramatic fools/Neurotic to the bone no doubt about it~~
Green Day, Basket Case

10. Maybe the laugh's on me/And life was telling me a joke

11. ~~Fumbling his confidence and wondering why the world has passed him by/Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments and failed attempts to fly~~
Switchfoot, Meant to Live

12. ~~I'll freak you right I will/I'll freak you right I will/I'll freak you like no one has ever made you feel~~
Usher, Nice and Slow

13. ~~Girl I refuse/You must have me confused/With some other guy/Your bridges were burned/Now it's your turn to cry~~
Justin Timberlake, Cry Me a River

14. ~~Ride with me/Ride with me/Ride with me~~
The Vines, Ride With Me

15. ~~Like a bad star/I'm falling faster down to her~~
Finch, What It Is to Burn

16. Bury it/I won't let you bury it/Smother it/I won't let you murder it

17. So get back, back, back to where we lasted/Just like I imagined/I could never feel this way/So get back, back, back to the disaster/My heart beating faster/Holding on to feel the same

18. ~~Lahat ng pangarap ko'y bigla lang natunaw/Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw~~
Eraserheads, Ang Huling El Bimbo

19. ~~This is the story of a girl/Who cried a river and drowned the whole world/While she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her/When she smiles~~
9 Days, Absolutely (Story of a Girl)

20. Come what may/Come what may/What did I do to deserve?/What did I do to deserve?

21. ~~Made of plastic and elastic/He is rugged and long-lasting/Who could ever, ever ask for more?/Love without complications galore~~
Dresden Dolls, Coin-Operated Boy

22. ~~Well you never find it/If you're looking for it/Should have done something but I've done it enough/By the way, your hands were shaking rather waste some time with you~~
The Used, Blue and Yellow

23. All the best DJs are saving/Their slowest song for last/When the dance is through it's me and you/Come on, would it really be so bad?

24. ~~Nakita ko na lahat ito/Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo/Salamat na lamang sayo~~
Mojofly, Mata

25. How did we all come to this?/This greed that we just can't resist

...and there you have it. I must admit, this list doesn't really do my collection justice; a lot of my fave songs are on original audio CDs, which I keep in my backpack. Hehehe. Anyway, this is the list.

O, ano pang hinihintay niyo? Make hula na the lyrics of my songs!

Remember, no googling! That kinda ruins the point of this.

Schizofairntastic!

2005-02-19T09:45:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: Imago - Akap

Sabihin sakin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sakin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko
Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

-I woke up seeing this everywhere, so here. Jam, this is the one, right? Hehehe. I'm mildly peeved that they didn't play this at the fair last night, but that's ok. Because, you know... heeheehee.
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Do I have to make kwento pa the underlying thingies of the fair? Like my kwento pa of the libreng tiket and the jologs goth posers, or how I made my friend try the tapsilog of Rodic's? Yuck ha, I don't want na! I'll make kwento na lang of the bands.
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Last night, even the B3's (boy bano bands) weren't so "bano." I use the term loosely, since this list includes somewhat known acts such as Orange and Lemons, Germs, Wuds, Stonefree, Milk and Money, Blue Catsup, Itchyworms, Pop Filter, Brownbeat All-Stars, Juan Pablo Dream, etc. Ok, some of those bands are new to me, but a lot were names I've heard before. If the fair night shows B3's that in any other night would be part of the main event, you know it's gonna be one bitchin' time.

Let's kick off with Ian Kit's fave. Urbandub had a great performance. Lalay, the bassist, was kinda cute too. Hehehe. Slapshock played too, but we didn't stick to the crowds really. Usually, when you have rap metal bands playing, you try to stay as far away from people as freakin' possible. Sugarfree had a great go, too. Of course, people went wild for Hari ng Sablay. Ebe even changed that last "Ayoko ng mag-sorry" to "I don't want na to sorry." Ahahaha. Fani.

There were relatively few people who knew Cambio. I wasn't really surprised, but I was peeved at the uneducated masses who sat down while they played Patlang. Ugh. And, oh yeah, Ebe fell into the crowd while they were performing DV. I think he's ok, though, but I'm not 100% sure.

Then, practically no one knew who Imago was, but I for one could not contain my excitement in finally being able to see Aia De Leon in person. Well, "see" is something I use loosely, since I really couldn't see her very well because we were a bit far from the stage. That's ok though. Her performance was just... wow. She's energetic, and cute, and basically hot. Ahahaha. As I said, they didn't perform Akap; they opted to go with Taning, that song with the counting (isa dalawa tatlo asan ang anino mo... I think it's bihag), and Rainsong. Some jologs held on to Aia's foot during that last one. Thank God the bouncers earned their keep. That guy should be lucky I wasn't there, cuz well, if I had it my way he would get more than a brooming off of the stage.

With that out of the way, let's go with my top 3 performances of the night:

3. Sponge Cola came out right in the thick of the peak. If you base the best performer on how many people went wild in the crowd, then they would be at the very top. Yael came out in a one-sleeved black rockstar t-shirt and a purple beanie, which looked quite gay. Anyway, that's ok. They performed Lunes, KLSP and Jeepney, exactly as I predicted. They even turned Jeepney into a metal sorta thing, which the crowd seemed to appreciate. Heh. They seem ok live, really, so I'm reconsidering whether or not I'll continue with this one-man boycott of their album. Why am I boycotting them again? I don't know. I guess I'm just peeved because they became totally famous right after I liked their music. Why am I peeved? I. Don't. Know...

2. Radioactive Sago Project was definitely the most fun to watch at the fair. Not only that, but they were most successful at delivering their political message. They performed Hello, Astro and Gusto Ko ng Baboy. Astro was littered with Lourd De Veyra's trademark ad libbing, which totally kicked ass. Then he moved on to Gusto Ko ng Baboy, spitting lines like...

Sinabi ko, nay, gusto ko ng baboy, sabi niya naman, eh putang ina mo ka pala anak eh. (1)
Sinabi ng asawa ko, dear, putang ina mo, ang hilig hilig mo sa baboy. Sabi ko, eh putang ina mo rin...(2)

You get the picture. Anyway, those drove the crowd wild. Hehehe. Then there was this part where he calls every level of the government baboy up until the president.

Matagal ko na ring inisip kung may baboy tayong presidente. Nagisip ako, at nagisip, at nagisip. Alam mo naisip ko? Maliit siya eh. Hindi baboy tawag dun, biik pare. Ang baboy ay yung asawa niya saka yung anak niya. Yun ang tunay na baboy. (Bridge)

All this was part of their song. Oh yeah.

And the top 1 band of the night is...

1. Although Marc Abaya has hit the road (from this band at least), Sandwich is still going strong with Raimund Marasigan taking the lead. They performed Astroholiday, Nahuhulog, and in my opinion the best song of the night, Two-Trick Pony. Literally everyone was sent into a fit of jumping by this song, myself included. Raimund jumped right into the pit during the instrumental, and some guy was clinging to him when he came back. The guy would let go, then Raimund stripped down to his undies, just for the hell of it. Hahaha. Anyway, they are my top band for the night, simply because Two-Trick Pony was so electric.
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Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

Pambihira naman oo, basta taga-UP ka... akalain mo, pati ang friend ng friend ng friend ng ka-chat ko nagagawang tanungin ako tungkol sa results ng UPCAT?! Tapos pag ang mga tao may kailangan sa main libe, sino ang hinahanap? :|

But being a UP student does have its more subtle perks. Mam Jian hooked me up with some clients for tutorials, so I might make, say, 250 a session. Not half-bad, eh? Hehehe.

Smoke and Mirrors

2005-02-18T17:25:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: 3 Doors Down - Let Me Go

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go

-Thank you, cnb, for the mp3. This is, well, my "I'm so emo I'm gay" song at the moment, if I may borrow a line from o3. Hehe. It's more like her song for me and not mine for her, though, since, erm... let's leave it at that.
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I don't dream a lot. No, not a lot at all. I dream maybe once or twice a month. It's been ok. I'm not some lunatic who goes crazy over a stupid thing like not dreaming too much. However, it seems someone in the land of dreams missed me.
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For five nights this week my dreams have had one recurring theme: sex. Yes, sex. All kinds of sex: group sex, live show sex, the promise of sex, the repercussions of sex, and necrophilia, in no particular order. It would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate any further, so I will not. Anyway, that has been the recurring theme. Some say that connotes some sort of subconscious desire in me. Hmm...
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The night after that, I dreamt of her. Again. That makes it, hmm, maybe six times. Last week, although I was not able to mention it, I did dream of her too. She was falling into my arms, and for some reason, I told her that I love her. She reciprocated. It was weird, actually. It was the kind of dream that felt so real, it was scary.

This last one is a little weirder though. We were classmates, and then I think she knew how I felt or something. She was mad at me, a playful kind of mad. The kind of mad that girls do with their boyfriends. You know, like, "Hmmmmmphh! 'Di mo na naman pinapansin me! Haay nako, be like that na nga lang!" Well, she was a lot less repulsive than that, but still, you get the context of the situation. Why she was like that I don't know. Never really thought about it. The last part was a little fuzzy, but it involved taxi cabs, the rain, and my leaving her and going out of the building that our class was in before she did, thus leading to her being pretend mad again.
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Last night, I dreamt about this girl that I've been wanting to talk to for a long time now. No, not her, someone else. It's not a romantic thing either, it's just that I notice that this girl seems to be like me, like someone with a sane mind. Honestly, that's all it is. Anyway, in the dream, I did get to talk to her briefly, but that's all. Yeah, actually, that pretty much sums that up.
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Whatever debts the King of All Night's Dreaming had on my tab, they must surely be paid off by now. Six nights consecutive seems a bit much. Not that I don't appreciate seeing her in my dreams, except, they're just that. They're only dreams.

I'm sick of dreaming.
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Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

If you didn't slither away in disgust after that mention of necrophilia, congratulations. You're 1337.

Ok... let's not talk about that anymore.

I'm pissed off. My parents did allow me to go to the UP Fair today and tomorrow, but mom is making me go home at 9. What the --?! Who am I gonna see by then?! Goodness me, how I have been itching for a chance to see Elevator Action again.

Seriously though, she hears like one rumble rumor and now she's all overprotective? That's the risk I take for studying in UP, fair or no. In fact, that's the risk I take for existing. It just freakin' is. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? I don't care if I take a hit or two.

If that's the price I must pay to see Aia De Leon in person, baby, so be it!

Fairly Mediocre

2005-02-15T16:01:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: The Dawn - Tulad ng Dati

Wala na kong makita sa iyong mga mata
Dati rati isang tingin ko lang alam ko na, alam ko na
Kung may bagyo o kung tag-araw sa iyong damdamin
Sana ay makilala kang muli
Tulad ng dati
Halina at lumipat kang muli
Tulad ng dati

-Valentine's kasi kahapon, kaya ayan, medyo pa-lab song epek tayo. All hail Francis Brew!!! Lurve the guitar riffs.
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These past few months, I have not been a bona fide UP student. I've been attending all my classes, sure, but that's pretty much it. I'm orgless, semi-friendless, and have not attended a single play, film showing or event since my acceptance into the university, not even one that was required (well, none of my professors ever required us to watch anything). I told myself, it'll be ok. I'll make it all up in the UP Fair.

So here we are. Fair week. There was much anticipation of the night to come: there was the company of friends, the electric concert atmosphere, and the promise of being able to see Aia De Leon, my one true love, performing live with that soft, cold, sexy voice of hers declaring her beautifully poetic lyrics such that they may be caught by our ears and lost into the blackness of the night. To make things even more climactic, the fair would kick off on Valentine's Day, which is one of the most "magical" nights of the year. Golly, how does one describe such a devirginizing experience? Quite difficult to put into words, but I will certainly try.

Blah.
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From all the people I had potentially lined up to accompany me, only two were actually able to make it. Not bad, but there weren't any girls. Gah. I mean, it's not like they need to be there for a romantic connection or whatever. It'd just be nice to have some variety in there, you know? Well, ok, I take that back. There was this one girl from DPS, but I barely knew her, so you know, it wasn't quite the same as, say, having a female friend there. Actually, that initial shock wasn't so bad. The four of us got along fine that night, and the girl from DPS and myself even sported our finest in anti-Valentine's threads: black as the night itself. Oh yeah.

The electric concert atmosphere, however, wasn't quite so electric. People sat on the grass about 90% of the time, usually while they were smoking it too. Well, not everyone really, just select groups. They'd stand only when they actually know the band that's playing.

It's funny when you hear all these stories of mosh pits and of people getting stabbed. In reality, the moshers crowd the areas nearest the stage, and the "normal" people tend to stay on the general perimeter of the viewing area. Besides, it isn't quite as crowded as fair virgins are led to believe.

The thing that really bugs me, though, is that I did not see Aia De Leon and the rest of Imago, nor did I see Urban Dub, Sandwich, Sugarfree, Cambio, Sponge Cola, Twisted Halo, or any of their other banner acts. All I saw was The Youth. The freakin' Youth, man. The high point of the evening was when their guitarist briefly belted out a line from Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin in the middle of one of their songs. I know it wasn't Multong Bakla, although they did sing that as their finale.

Not bad, you say? Not bad? Not if you were there. Not if you had to endure bands with such cleverly geeky names as Old Blue Box, Elevator Action, and Lip Gloss and have absolutely nothing to show for it. Not if you sat there on the freakin' sunken garden grass blowing off all the other shit you had to do that day while desperately waiting for a chance to scream "Aia ay lab yu!!!" only to have all your time wasted in vain. Not if you had to walk down the Beta Epsilon Way with two people who apparently have fully functional third eyes, informing you that a spirit knew that they had felt it and was currently waiting for our group to go back down that way. Also, informing me never to look at Palma Hall at about 9 or later in the evening, as the resident ghost would be doing her rounds by then. Stupid as it may seem to some, I believe in such things.

So, how's that for your anti-Valentine's day huh?
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However, the night was not all bad. I spent some time with my friends, and I suppose I gained a new one at that. I listened to some of the offerings of the UP underground music community, some of them actually pretty good (and some of them actually just pretty). Oh, there is something else... my oh my, what could I be forgetting? Ahh yes... there is this Sponsor's Ticket that entitles me to free entrance to the UP Fair all week long, courtesy of Jeff's friend, that girl from DPS. Actually, she gave Jeff the ticket, but he wouldn't be going again until Saturday, so I offered to take it off his hands until the weekend. It would be a shame to waste it, no? No one objected anyways, so hey, party on!

Still, looking back, it wasn't what it could have been. Had it not been for my morning classes, maybe I could have caught the better bands. Had it not been for classes in general, perhaps my friends could have stayed longer. My experience in all was hampered by these things, and now I can't help but ask myself:

Was all this really worth the risk of getting bombed?
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Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

Today's wrong thought is brought to you by the UP Fair. The scene is this:
The four of us were walking back to AS parking, by way of the aforementioned Beta Epsilon Way. I was asking my newfound friend a couple of things about the ticket, which was subjected to a single-hole puncher during entry.

Me: So pano yun, yung ticket reusable this whole week, tapos everyday siya de-punch?
Girl: Oo.
Me: Eh pano yung de-kick?
*outbursts of laughter from everyone in the group*

Ahh yes. My corny comic timing fails me not.

WTF?!

2005-02-11T16:15:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: The Mars Volta - The Widow

Look at how they flock to him
From an isle of open shores
He knows that the taste is such
Such to die for
And I hear him every night
In every street
The scales that do slither deliver me from

-No relevance. I just like it, that's all.
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Talk about history repeating itself.

Last semester, we were tasked with a long paper for English 11. Not a very long one, mind; it had to be 3 pages long, no more, no less. On the day I was about to write it down, guess what? Power failure. In our condo. That rarely ever happens, which was totally weird. Anyway, I had to write down my draft in ink, with only the light of orange scented candles to guide me. When the electricity returned later that night, I typed it up. I would only find out much later that I got an uno for that paper.

This semester, our first long paper for English 10 was due today. I began the foundations for it on Wednesday night, but it needed a lot more work. I went home Thursday night fully intent on finishing it as soon as I got upstairs. And guess what?

Yep. Power failure. In our condo.

Call me weird, but I'm sensing a pattern there somewhere. In fact, I was almost afraid to use candles for fear of some ghastly image in our living room mirror suddenly appearing and trying to break through a portal that would transport it to this realm. But anyway, I didn't have much of a choice. Again, I would write by candlelight. Again, I would read by flashlight. Thank God I was able to finish before 3 a.m.

Right now, the only thing keeping me awake is coffee and sugar. And yet I don't want to sleep at all.
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Completely Wrong Thought(s) of the Day:

We'll jump straight to this, because there are quite a few that I wish to discuss.

First of all, did anyone else get a load of that new commercial on NU? They're basically pimping Trish (of the First Show) and Marc Abaya to the guy or girl who can come up with the best poem, most likely in time for valentine's. It's funny, cuz they start with these average folks who go, "My Dearest Marc, tama bang aminin na nating may taning itong pag-ibig natin?" or "To Trish, ako ay nahuhulog sayo." Then it just gets freaky, like when some guy goes "Trish, hoy, pinoy ako! Buo aking loob." But the best one has to be when this not-so-obviously gay guy goes "To Marc Abaya, you are the one. I'll make a sandwich with your kjwan." Hahahahaha!!! Kampiyon!
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Speaking of pimping, dig what the kalay dormers are up to for valentine's. They're basically auctioning people off as dates. Hmm... So if I give these guys enough money, I get the girl of my choice for a night. Sorry, but that just sounds way too similar to pimping to me. Even a fourth grader could spot that.

Oh well. It's their business. I'm sure they'll make a killing regardless.
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Let's just dive right into this next one.

Yael's Emotion Proportionality Theorem: In any Sponge Cola song, the number of ha's that Yael uses to extend a word ending with an a sound is directly proportional to the emotional weight of the song. Confused? Don't be! Just check out these swellegant examples:

Lunes: 'Di ko sinasadya... Hindi ko sinasadya-haaa... (one "ha")
KLSP: Natutuyo at nawawala, naglalaho rin pala... Pala-ha, haaa... (two "ha"s)
Jeepney: Subalit ngayo'y wala na. Ikaw ay lumayo na... Lumayo na-ha-haa-haaaa... (at least three "ha"s)

Check it. Lunes is a trip, and it's not exactly emotional. I can't even understand the damn thing. KLSP, on the other hand, is a notch more emotional. Medium, I'd say. Jeepney, now that. That's one of those "omg break out the motherf'in' kleenex!!!" songs. It's about the only song I can think of that is potent enough to draw tears from a punkista. Not that I've seen it happen before, but I think it's possible.

Well, there you have it folks. The ha's have spoken.

Confessions of a Googler

2005-02-09T17:30:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: Papa Roach - Scars

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

-I woke up thinking of The Mars Volta's "The Widow", but I heard this song somewhere and it's been stuck in my head ever since. So there you have it folks.
------------------------------
I admit it. I'm a googler. I like to google things. I google lyrics. I google miscellaneous info. I google reports. I pretty much google everything.

High school book report? Googled it. Thank God my teacher was a bit of a pushover, or else I coulda been in deep for plagiarism. That was in first year, by the way.

Other stuff. Chem 1 report? Googled. Kas 1 report? Googled. Eng 10 outline? Googled. Well, more like OPAC'ed. But then, I had to go to google before I got to the OPAC. I got caught red-handed with that one, actually.

I can't help it occifer! Googling is sooo easy! You just type what you wanna find and out it comes in such a glorious, neat, properly arranged format... It's like intentionally getting yourself lost in a five dollar lobster buffet!
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Unfortunately, this will not do for my concept paper in Eng 10. After all, we have to be all "academic" and such. Gee, I sure wish I had known that that would be the focus of college english before I signed up for it. I thought all they meant by that was they'd be teaching us really big hard-to-understand words like meretricious, or defenestrated, or infinitesimal. Anyway, I suppose I was just a bit of shellshocked, that's all. We all have to learn how to use a libary sometime, right?

That's exactly what I did today. It's weird really. I'd only ever been to the CAL and Soc Sci sections of the Libe. When I got down to Filipiniana, I was like, "Oh shit, how come I can't go to where the books are?" Fortunately, the girl behind the request counter was nice enough and not one of those surly "omfg i hate my fucking life" government worker types.

Evidently, I was not alone in that library. I saw two other Eng 10 classmates and a Kas 1 classmate. I even caught up with Jam, which was a nice surprise. She only needed a couple of books, but I must have used up, I dunno, 15 call slips in one day. Is that a big number? I felt like it was, which is why I wanted so badly to get the hell outta there by around 3pm, even though I had originally intended to stay up to 6pm. Jam and I ended up going home 4ish, which was fine. I couldn't have taken much more of that "OPAC-Call Slip-Give ID-Take Book-Read-Take Notes-Return Book-Take ID-Repeat" stuff.
------------------------------
I told myself I'd start writing at 6. I'll prolly start at 8, or ooohh, 9 more likely. I wanna watch American Idol first.
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

Has anyone else noticed McDonald's Beef Prosperity Burger? It's good. Nice and spicy. I like my meat spicy. AHOOGAH! Oh, where was I? Right, right. One thing, though: it looks like shit. I mean it literally looks like shit between two buns. I won't describe it in any more detail than that because, even though I noticed its awkward appearance, I actually like eating the stuff. So there. Just add your own random twistedness to that thought to taste.

Songs of Love, Angst and Rallying

2005-01-31T17:22:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: Jimmy Eat World - Work

All the best DJ's are saving
The slowest song for last
When the dance is through it's me and you
Come on, would it really be so bad?

-This was today's LSS, although I am also quite fond of A Perfect Circle's 3 Libras and Home Grown's Cross my Heart. :D
------------------------------
I must begin with an apology. Last time I posted, I promised you all that I would be posting pictures of my nephew here. However, my sister (his aunt) has forbade me from any such act, for fear of sicko pedophiles who salivate at opportunities such as that. I say, a pox on you, o malevolent psychos! You ruined everyone's fun...

...and, ultimately, gave me a lot more work to do. See, as soon as my sister sends me the uploaded pictures, I will have to e-mail the pictures to each of my friends. That's a whole lotta e-mail addresses, you know. Anyway, shout out to CNB Girl, who has requested to see my nephew (I think. You were the last person to post a comment, right?). Well, I don't know your addie, but if you would be so kind as to inform me then I would be more than happy to send you the pictures. Blueskies, did you wanna see the baby too? Lemme know ok? Anyone else who I didn't mention just let me know, as long as you introduce yourself first. Then I will have to review your case, hehe. Of course, if you happen to know that I know your e-mail add/Yahoo! ID, no problem. You're likely to receive them some time soon.

With that said, some time soon could be a long time from now. My sister is sending me the pictures, and I dunno when she will do so.

Moving on...
-------------------------------
I watched My Sassy Girl this Saturday, thanks to Jam's DVD. It was hilarious! Funniest thing I've seen since God of Cookery. It was quite touching too. As a certain someone mentioned while we were watching in the living room, it is an ideal date movie. Unfortunately, I was sans date at the time, and possibly for a very long time. Sigh... If only we could all be like certain thread posters on peyups, who ended up in a relationship after watching the film with this guy (that, i dunno, i guess was courting her or something. I'm not sure).

Gash, gawin daw bang blind item itech?! My sincerest apologies to moon_siren04 and to Kuya Bri.

Pahabol. Crushness ko si My Sassy Girl. Well, the actress who played her, anyway. Ang pretty niya talaga...
--------------------------------
I've loved Sarabia Optical at UP's Shopping Center from the moment I laid eyes on it. It carried indie opm CDs and indie pinoy comic books, and openly advertised the ones that were available. It exuded this aura that was just, well, cool.

Unfortunately, for the many attempts that I've had to enter that place, none had been successful. They were always either closed or, um, closed. Today, however, was my day. I must admit, I was surprised. I expected there to be a couple of people behind the glass counter assisting the owner, and when I'd ask for the CD, one would go, "Ne, meron pa ba tayo nung Imago?!" He would repeat that several times, of course. But anyway, that's not the point. There was but one nice lady behind the counter, whom I suspect must be the owner. She speaks impeccable English by the by, and although I was a bit intimidated by her presence at first, she seemed nice enough. She didn't complain at all that I was fresh from weight training and that my stuff was one giant mess. I ended up going home with albums by Imago and Twisted Halo. I would have tried to snag albums from The Late Isabel and Typecast (by the way, is Typecast even OPM? I remember that they are, but I'm not sure. If they are, are they indie?), but I was short on cash. Oh well. There's always next week. Man. I'm never shopping at Tower Records again.

That last statement is untrue, of course. What if I wanna buy a "mainstream" album, such as The Dawn's latest offering, or an album by a foreign band? Besides, I have this card that entitles me to gift certificates if I manage to fill out the required number of single-receipt purchases worth Php 500 or more. Sayang ang miles!!! Hahaha.

Pahabol. Crushness ko rin si Aia De Leon. Ang pretty niya rin pala talaga...

*giggles like a masculine schoolgirl*
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of The Day: This freakin' dog was headed for me while I was walking along Panay Avenue! Yeesh. I nearly got bitten. Fortunately, the owner told the (and I'm assuming here, folks) bitch to get back and hit her right in the ribs. Ha! That oughta show her what for, assaulting total strangers like that.

Disclaimer: Ang susunod na portion ay kabaliwan, pero sabi ni Irwin gusto niya raw makita eh. Kaya, heto na!

Mahaba ang text na naka-enclose sa **. Wag nito nang basahin. Sinubukan ko lang naman i-describe yung instrumental eh.
*Ang instrumental nito ay simple lamang: den-den-denenen, den-denenenen (na normal), den-den-denenen, den-den-denen (na medyo mas mababa). Apat na beses yan, tapos wap-wap-tsuko-wap-wap (guitars) dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug (drums). Dalawang beses naman yun, at kalimitan ay ginagamit pagkatapos ng chorus pero bago magsimula ang isang stanza. Paulit-ulit lang yan. Sa bridge, first two times ay silent, next two times ay may drums lang na dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug-dug tapos ang last four times ay may guitars na rin at pareho lang yung riff. Tapos pasok na chorus. Tapos yung riff sa last line, ganun rin, pero sa end part, ganito siya: den-den-denenenden!!! (extended kasi)*

GLSM (Tara Na't Mag-Welga Tayo)

Makinig ka sino mang nakaupo sa trono
Bakit utang mo pero kami nag-aabono?
Masaya ka ba na ikaw lang ang yumayaman
Habang nagdurusa pa rin ang ating kababayan?!
Ugh!!!

[Chorus]
Ito ang galit!
Ito ang galit!
Ito ang galit!
Laban sa makina!
[Repeat Chorus]

Sabi mo ay pipigilan ang pangungurakot
Ngunit sa tingin ko'y ikaw ang dapat ikatakot
Di ba dapat inaayos mong aming problema?
Hinati mo lang ang bansa!
Putang ina!

[Repeat Chrous (2x)]

*silence, then (ref. instrumental text)*
[Bridge]
Siyang may hawak ng lakas, may hawak ng batas (8x)

[Repeat Chorus]

Kami ang galit!
Ikaw ang makina!
Kami ang galit
Galit laban sa makiinnnnaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
------------------------------
Bow. Sisihin ang Nat Sci 1!!! :|

Welcome to the World, Boiiiii!!!

2005-01-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination:
(what to choose, what to choose... I like so many songs today. But I guess I'll stick with this one.)

Splender - Yeah, Whatever

Yeah, whatever makes you happy
Yeah, whatever makes it beautiful
Yeah, whatever leaves you satisfied
Cause I'm out of time
For now

-This was a difficult choice, mind. There was Jimmy Eat World, Hungry Young Poets, Thousand Foot Krutch... But I like this song. Can relate! Mwehehe. Whatever.
------------------------------
A friend of mine caught up with me as I walked from CS to AS today. He was my classmate in Eng 11 and Chem 1 last sem. Anyway, it turns out we were both having a hard time with our English classes this sem, which is, well, weird. He's in CW, so he's *supposed* to be good in English. Meanwhile, I always thought I could luck through any English class, since it only requires you to know what the hell everyone is talking about. Not so with Eng 10. Oh well. Keep on keeping on, and see where it takes me, I suppose.

That was the plan with Nat Sci 1, and I failed our first exam. Huh. Didn't sting as much as I thought it would. I guess I can say goodbye to econ and BA now. I'm still trying, but well, I'm not gonna get my hopes up.
------------------------------
It's official. I am an uncle. Ph34r! The cute little tyke weighed in a whopping 9.5 lbs. and was born last Sunday, January 23, at about 3 in the afternoon. He's admittedly adorable, though. I wish I could post pics now, but it will have to wait. I'm afraid all the good ones (the only ones, in fact) are in my other sister's digicam and will have to be uploaded to the PC. I don't even know if she intends to do that, but if I manage to nab them I'll be posting them here for sure.

But why wait? Just drop by the St. Luke's Hospital nursery and try poking around for the kid. You won't be disappointed. Promise!

Speaking of the hospital, here's the low down on some stuff that happened today while I visited my sister, who is currently recuperating in her posh fourth floor suite:

-I totally clipped this nurse's ankle while on wheelchair duty for my sister. I guess I wasn't really used to it, and I was kinda tired at the time. Gah. I did say sorry, but only once or twice. I really just wanted to get out of there, because as I am certain you can imagine, it was a most embarassing situation to be caught in. I am such a self-centered klutz.
-So I was sitting down in my sister's chair, staring at the wall as a result of a major sugar crash. I see the reflection of the light on the wall, and I thought, "Hey, what about those people that see Jesus or the Virgin Mary on potato chips and stuff, eh?" So I stared. Know what I saw? It looked like the devil, or at least, what the human perception of the devil is. It wasn't as scary as it sounds, though. You'd have to be really bored to spot that one.
-There was this, um, church/school outside the hospital. They were practicing some songs or hymns. Man, it sounded like goth. Seriously. I was about ready to headbang and "lay praise to the gods of rock!!!" or something. Nyahahaha.
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

Last week's Nginiiig featured the "Taong Tubig ng Marikina River," a maligno, if I am not mistaken. The psychics solved as much as what the ghost of the victim wanted to say, but as for the maligno, he is still running rampant. Well, he isn't exactly summoning his undead buddies to go ransack hapless victims living by the river banks, but still, the dude is out there somewhere. So, what are we to do? The psychics can't do squat, since they aren't armed for battle per se. The answer is quite simple: we fight the undead with the undead. You know what that means...

We're bringing back the CSBs (Counter-Strike Boiiis).

We find them from their haunts in Anonas, branches of I-Gotcha, Netopia, Beta Sector and the like from all over the country. We take the best of the best, and give them weapons with silver bullets. They accompany our psychics and boom! Problem solved.

Really, how can you not have confidence in guys who follow these creeds:
a) Hopping around like a bunny is fun, but useless.
b) Jumping while crouching is a great way to hit people with pistols, especially with the USP.
c) The Desert Eagle is the only friend you'll need. Ever.
d) Only pussies use sniper rifles for sniping.
e) Always throw the he grenade first.
f) No name is complete without a clan tag. ([Arki] r000001111zzzzz!!!!!)
g) Lag is the LAN's fault. The fact that there are 128 people h4x0ring a 32-player server has nothing at all to do with the fact that you stopped jumping in mid-air only to regain control of a corpse.
h) Never disarm the bomb, even when you are fully capable of doing so. To continue would be rude.
i) de_dust is for n00bs. Real men play cs_deathmatch.
j) Only n00bs aim for the head. Real men aim for the crotch and still manage to pwn 6 other players unscathed.

I rest my case.
-------------------------------
Naisip ko lang gawin ito... Basta. Basta. Basta. :|

Pansinin ang alterations. Slight lang naman eh. In fairness! Hahaha.

Namamatay na ang rosas sa tabi
'Di ka pa rin binibili
Nauubos na ang oras sa kahihintay
Pero ni sulat ni tawag wala

Ako'y isang torpe (7x)

Ako'y isang torpe, ako'y torpe sayo...
-------------------------------
OMGWTFROTFLMAOKTHXBYEXD

Wala lang. Bakit ko ba ginawa yan? Hamak na kabaliwan yan. Wag niyo kong pansinin, naO-OT na ko. o.O

For Those Such as I, Who Art Poor in Spirit

2005-01-19T09:34:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: Pantera - Cemetery Gates

The way we were
A chance to save my soul
And my concern is now in vain
Believe the word
I will unlock my door
And pass the cemetery gates

-I love the guitar accompaniment in this track! Totally bitchin'!
------------------------------
I remember last year when my friends mocked me for wanting to buy a Kitchie Nadal CD. Those same friends were clueless when I asked them if they knew what "Daliri" was. My five song Sponge Cola EP was also constantly mocked, and I was questioned for even owning the damn thing.

Fast forward to present time. Kitchie Nadal is Tower Records' best-selling CD (at least, when last I checked), Kjwan is pretty much everywhere doing gigs and all, and I positively cannot go a day in school without hearing the word "Sponge Cola" being muttered by somebody within earshot of me. In fact, that five song EP that I rushed out to buy is most likely a collector's item by now, or soon to be, anyway, since it contained two or three hidden tracks and a song or two that were not included in their album, "Palabas". Unfortunately, my so-called friend still has not returned it, and I've lost all hope of seeing it again.

Oh, and I noticed, Kitchie's songs aren't gramatically perfect. In Same Ground, she says "fail" when "fails" would be better I think, and in pretty much all her English songs she mispronounces a word or two. But, that is ok with me. I love the music nonetheless.

I know this looks like it all means something, but it doesn't. Believe me, it doesn't. It's happened before with Hoobastank's "The Reason."
------------------------------
Now, if only all this somehow constituted a concept paper for Eng 10, I wouldn't be so pissed off at myself this morning.
------------------------------
It shouldn't be this hard. I should have something, anything by now, but that's not the case. I don't know why. On top of that, my exams in other subjects are shot to hell. This is really annoying, and kinda scary. I've never really failed before, and I do not intend to start now.

But just look at me. My acads are shot. My social life is non-existent. I'm presented with a task or two that I know I can do but here I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off. What in the freakin' hell am I alive for, then?!
-------------------------------
An acuaintance of mine got stabbed recently. Thirteen times, I heard. He's alive, though, thank God. I want to visit him one of these days. Perhaps I just will.

I wish I'd been stabbed instead. One thing, though, I wouldn't have held on. I would have given up right there, lying, waiting as I bleed myself dry.

At this point, even the thought of death consoles me.
--------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

It is difficult to be dead, but not any more difficult than it is to be alive.
--um, me. Just me. Uhh... yeah. That's pretty much it.

English and Movies and Math, Oh My!

2005-01-12T07:23:00.001+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: The Used - All That I've got

So deep, that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red-handed now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep, that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I need something else would someone please just get me
Hit me, knock me out and let me go back to sleep
I can laugh all I want inside I still am empty
So deep, that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got
I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Unharmed, I am losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard I stopped your heart from beating
So deep, that I didn't even scream fuck me I...
I'll be just fine pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got

-This is more like the month's musical inclination. After listening to this song like, say, seventy times in the past week, it's still stuck in my head. Gah. Songs should not be made such that I can relate to them so immensely, even if I do not understand them completely.
------------------------------
While we're on the subject of music...

Ako ay nahuhulog
Ako ay nahuhulog
Ako ay nahuhulog
Sa dyip...

Wala lang. Nahulog ako sa jeep kailan lang eh. Nasa loob na ko ng jeep nun, nadapa lang actually. 'Di naman ako na-injure or anything. Pero, ayan, yan naisip ko. Syempre yung manong driver kakana na ng walang sabit 'di tulad ng iba... mwehehehe.
------------------------------
Heto pa isa.

Ok talaga yung ABS-CBN
Lalo na yung evening show na Nginiiig: The Hidden Files
Pangarap ko kailan lang lumabas sa telebisyon
Gusto kong makasali sa Sunday Edition

Matupad sana ang pangarap ko
Gagawin ko ang lahat makamtan lang ito
Ambisyon ng isang simpleng tao
Sana lahat ng ito ay magkatotoo

Pag ako'y nakasali siguradong malalaos
Ang pagkagwapo ni Mr. Danilo Barrios
Nais ko ring makilala ang pinaka-dream girl ko
Crush na crush ko kasi si Laiza Milo

Nung isang araw ako'y nag-audition
Psinychic ko ang career ng Universal Motion
Lahat ng ipagawa ay kinayanan ko
Sana ay pasado ako kay Jhong Hilario

Wahaha... wala lang. Haaayy... LaizaAaAaAAaAaaaa... :x
------------------------------
Naalala ko lang bigla ang mga English teacher ko nung high school. Medyo naungasan ako dun sa iba eh. Pero in fairness, kung sino pa ang tinuring kong ungas, yun pa ang mga naka-diskubre sakin. Hahaha.

Nung first at fourth year na teachers ko, hindi siguro masyadong importante. Hindi naman ako lubos na nagalit o natuwa sa kanila. Ayos lang, keri lang. Ganun. Iba pa ang aking journ teacher nung fourth year dyan ha. Laking pasalamat ko dun at nagawa niyang sikmurain ang kabaliwan ko. Sana lang sinabi niyang hindi lahat ng tao sa peyups ay katulad niya. Pero, sha, di bale na. Hindi importante yan.

Simulan natin noong second year. Ang teacher ko noon ay banas na banas kami halos lahat, kasi ang lakas ng tama sa mood swing. May ibang kadahilanan pa na hindi ko na siguro uulitin, pero basta, banas kami sa kanya. Naalala ko siya kahapon kasi yung bagong guidance counselor sa DPS kamukha niya. Heniweiz, may utang na loob din ako siguro dun. Siya ang unang nakakita na may potential ako. Pilit niya kong isinali sa kung ano-anong mga contest noon, mapa-writing man o debate o impromptu speaking. Siguro nasa lima din yun, kasama na pati yung sa labas ng school. Mga dalawa lang talaga yung pinuntahan ko, sa loob pa ng school pareho. Yung iba kasi, lumipas na yung araw, di ko man alam na dapat palang gaganapin yung contest na yun. Hahaha. Kebs ko ba sa ganun dati. Isa lamang akong katorse anyos na ang tanging inaabala nung panahong iyon ay kung paano palakasin ang aking "mad skillz" sa larong Project Justice sa arcade.

Nawala na siya nung third year. Yung naging teacher naman namin, hahaha. Laugh trip, lalo na pag napag-tripan nung mga kupal kong kaklase. Para kasi siyang seryosong military-type na ewan, kaya ang mga magagaling kong kaklase ay ginawan siya ng theme song, with matching choreography pa! First day pa lang ay anlupit na ng katatatawanang nakuha namin nang gayahin siya nung pinaka-gago sa klase namin pagkalabas niya ng pinto. Pero importante rin ang titser kong ito.

Kasi, nung third year, dalawang oras at kalahati ang Filipino subject namin. Kaasar yan sobra, kaya wala talaga kaming natutunan tungkol sa Noli Me Tangere. Kaya nga lang ako pumasa ay dahil tuwing may quiz nangongopya ako dun sa katabi ko, na siyang bagsakin at nag-drop nung fourth year, kasi kinokopyahan niya yung isa niyang katabi na nakikinig at may alam din sa Noli. Ayos. Yun nga lang, pag quarterly, patay. Naloko na. Salamat sa Diyos at nakaraos din ako.

Anyway, nalalayo ang usapan. Noong third year, ang screening para sa mga bagong writer ng school newspaper ay kasabay ng Filipino subject namin. Syempre, dahil masipag akong bata na mahilig magsulat, sinubukan ko na rin. Yun nga lang, na-late ako at kinse minutos na lang ang natira para magsulat ng editoryal. Pucha, ano kayang matino ang maisusulat ko nun? Nilagay ko na lang sa papel, "I only had fifteen minutes to write! What do you expect?!" or something to that effect. Syempre, rejected. Ayos lang. Maya-maya, sabi nitong titser ko, ipinakita niya raw sa adviser ng paper yung isa kong formal theme. Ayun, tanggap, auxilliary nga lang. Pero ayos na rin. Pagdating ng fourth year, ginawa akong features editor. Ewan ko kung bakit, basta ganun. Tas dahil ako ang features editor at busy na yung ibang writer sa amin, isinali nila ako sa feature writing sa presscon. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Kaya sa inyong dalawa, kung nasaan man kayo... *plays Hindi Kita Malilimutan* Thanks. Both of you will forever be remembered for creating a monster. When the furious mob starts chasing me with pitchforks and torches, I'll have to remind them not to hate the product without hating the producer. Hahahahaha.

Ngayon, ok naman ang mga prof ko. Wala pa naman akong naeengkwentrong prof na nauungasan ako. Oo, yung iba kupal, pero hanggang dun lang. Bad trip lang sila, pero di sila ungas.

As far as English is concerned, I can't complain. Both of my profs thus far have been stellar. This sem, however, I'm having a wee bit of trouble with Eng 10. It's not the prof, just the subject itself. Coming up with a topic for my required papers is tougher than I thought it would be. Plus, I have to find "sources" for my writing. Gah. I hate having to justify what I write. I mean, sheesh. It's from my head, and that's pretty much all you need to know. Whether or not you believe me, whether or not you agree with what I said, is completely up to you. But oh well. I will persevere. I don't have much of a choice. Besides, I am me, after all. Ahahaha...
------------------------------
Bakit ba English ang inaabala ko, eh meron pa akong exam sa Math 63 mamayang ala una at hindi pa ako nag-aaral kahit onti kasi galing kami ng DPS kagabi? o.o
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

I like watching Nginiiig, ok? I like seeing Laiza Milo do her thing. Sheesh, she's the only reason I even watch that show. I think she studies in UP, but I'm not sure. Mam Jian suggested that I join the UP Paranormal Soc, saying that I'd be a good fit anyway 'cause I'm so weird and all. Well yeah, ok, if only to be acquainted with Laiza (or Laura Elizabeth, if you prefer), perhaps I will. One problem though: I scare so very, very easily.

Here's the deal. I woke up at around 3:25 am this morning according to my cell phone clock. I slept at around 10:30, so that's around five hours of sleep. Do-able, but not nearly enough for me. So I try going to sleep again, right? Can't. I'm scared shitless of ghosts. So I go downstairs, turn on the PC and I've been doing that since. I haven't even studied yet. I will in a while though, I guess. *sigh*... just writing this is a bit of a pain. Thank God for coffee, or else I'd prolly totally miss my exam.

Is this how it's gonna be from now on? Will I ever grow out of my "scared of ghosts" phase? Is this the price that I must pay for love?

If that is true, then so be it. Difficult as it may be, I will stay strong... for her...

Oh, and lest I forget, I am working on a, err, I dunno what it's called. A script? Transcript? Screenplay? Whatever. I shall call it Dannyboy, Medical Transcriptionist. I'm prolly not releasing that on my blog, though. I'll chalk that up to summer amateur movie projects, along with our (i.e. me, jeff and irwin) initial joint project, Kanal ng Karimlan. Watch out for them shiznit, holmes.

Ang Kilabot ng Mga Beautician

2005-01-04T18:36:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: Alice in Chains - Them Bones

I believe them bones are me
Some say we’re born into the grave
I feel so alone, gonna end up a big ole pile a them bones
Dust rise right on over my time
Empty fossil of the new scene
I feel so alone, gonna wind up a big ole pile a them bones
Toll due bad dream come true
I lie dead gone under red sky
I feel so alone, gonna end up a big ole pile a them bones

-Erk. So I had lunch with Jam today, and I was half-jokingly describing to her just how miserable it was to be me. Then all of a sudden, these faggots called Simple Plan started wailing "Welcome to my Life" on the radio, to which my oh-so-witty friend pointed out the similarities. While I admit that she made a valid point, I just plain don't like that song. They sound like whiny little bitches. That's not real pain. Real pain is something you keep inside, waiting for the moment when you punch the walls until your fists bleed or when you skewer little puppy dogs with sticks just for the hell of it, and yes, I would know. Not too many of you would. Anyway, this song is more like it, plus there's no beating the name "Alice in Chains". You gotta love it.

As "Sage," the fictional DJ on GTA: San Andreas' "Radio X," would say, "I have so much pain, you couldn't possibly try to understand me... unless you tried sleeping with me." 'Nuff said. (well unless for that sleeping with me part I suppose)
------------------------------
Lunes.

Ang buhay sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas ay bumalik na sa dati. Ang mga estudyante'y nagsipuntahan na sa kanilang mga klase. Parang kailan lang ay nagpapakasaya pa sila sa bakasyon, at ngayo'y tinuturuan na sila ng mga matitinding leksyon ng kanilang mga propesor.

Ngunit, ano ito? Nasaan ang ating bida? Aba, oras na ata para sa Math 20! Nakapag-pasa na ang lahat ng kanilang mga takdang-aralin, pero siya'y wala pa rin! Tapos na ang groupmates niya sa kanilang weight lifting session sa pamamahala ng isang malupit na propesor ng PE, subalit wala pa rin siya! Jaykie! Nasaan ka?!

*In the gayest gay voice you can possibly imagine* Ako'y nagfafagufhet at nagfafa-foot sfaaaa!!!

Yung nanggupit sakin, hindi makatiis. Nung patapos na siya, sinabi niya sakin, "Ang kapal na noh?" Sabi ko, "Oo, mga tatlong buwan na kong 'di nagpapagupit eh." Sorry na lang kay, uhh, yung manong sa SC. 'Di ko alam ang pangalan niya kaya tatawagin ko na lang siyang Gerard. Sorry kay manong Gerard pero gusto ko dun sa pinagupitan ko. Ayos.

Yun namang ale na bahala sa foot spa ko, hindi ko alam. Nag-alala ata siya nung nakita niya yung paa ko eh. Ilang beses niyang hinimas yung gilid ng paa ko na rough na yung skin na para bang iniisip, "Naku, paanoh nah itoh?! Que Horror! Pagkatagal-tagal ko nang vyutisyan ay ngayon lang akoh naka-engkwentro ng paang ganitohng ka-gaspang! Pero, kakayanin ko yan! I'm a vyustisyan aftah all! Pride na lang sweetheart! Todo na 'toh!!!" Ang paa ko'y lagi nang magiging sing tigas nang isang bato, ngunit ngayon, salamat kay ate, err, tawagin na lang natin siyang Linda. Salamat kay ate Linda ay, kahit panandalian lamang, hindi siya kasing gaspang ng mga bato.

Walang biro. Yun ang ginawa ko nung Lunes. 'Di ko naman alam na may pasok eh, kaya nakinig na lang ako sa NU maghapon at nung gabi ay nandun ako sa baby shower ni ate. Malay ko bang may pasok pala? Pero ayos na yun siguro. May perstaym naman ang lahat eh, saka di naman malala ang mga na-miss kong lesson. Sayang din ang anim na absences noh! Lubusin naaaa!!!!
------------------------------
I wanna be a NU rock jock. When I turn 18, if they still have that Magna Cum Loudest promo going on, I'mma give it a try. I'm serious! What, like I can't go "Hey, you're with me Jaykie. 40 minute rock-a-thon coming up... we got some Sponge Cola, Urbandub, Velvet Revolver, Coheed and Cambria, Sugarfree and a lot more coming your way in just a bit. Right now, here's Death Cab for Cutie with The Sound of Settling. Keep it locked here on the home of new rock, NU 107." Was that portion brought to us by Red Horse? 'Cause I can go "That was brought to you by Red Horse Extra Strong. Ito ang tama." See? Cake!

I know, it's a lot harder to do than I think. But I seriously wanna give it a shot! At least it's more realistic than my initial idea, which was becoming a myx VJ. I mean, geez. (1) I'm not attractive enough, and (2), Myx is waaaaay too, um, shall we just say "mainstream" for my tastes. (and by mainstream I mean... you know.) I'll work on it I suppose. I don't mind starting out as a newscaster, and hey, I'd like to think my voice is at least plausible for the radio. It could happen, right? Plus, if I make enough, I might even move out and get myself into a boarding house. Haha. Here's hoping!
-------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

Da Heathen-philes!!!

Matagal ko nang gustong sabihin 'to, lagi ko lang nakakalimutan. Pero heto na. Here goes!

Ang ganda nung isang psychic sa Nginiiig. Erm, ilang "i" ba talaga yun?

Hindi ko alam kung alin sa dalawa. Si May ata. Basta, hindi ko talaga alam, pero cute siya! Kaya ngayon, kahit alas tres na ng umaga't hinihintay ko pa rin si ate na samahan akong matulog sa kwarto ko, lagi ko pa ring pinapanood yung segments niya. Heeheehee...

Anlabo nga nung palabas na yun eh. Akalain mo, iilan silang psychic, lahat mukhang mga "above average" sa attractiveness? Yung isa nga kamukha ni Hero eh! Hahaha! Kaya teorya ko, yung mga tunay na psychic, pangit talaga. Sine-sense lang nila yung nasa lugar, sinusulat, tapos mag-aacting na yung mga "stunt double" nila. Pero, malay natin. Baka naman lahat ng psychic ay magaganda't gwapo. Pero, err, hinde, malabo yun. Tingnan niyo na lang si Madame Auring. Yun ang tunay na horror pare. Hahahaha.

Last na! Akala ko nung isang beses yung Main Libe sa UP yung feature nila, pero yung National library pala. Eh kasi naman noh, pano mo kaya hindi i-feafeature ang peyups sa dami ng mga nag-suicide dun na na-basted, na-high o bumagsak, o di kaya'y ang mga nasali sa rumble. Leche. Maglakad nga lang ako sa UP nade-depress na ko eh. Ay hinde, wala palang kinalaman yun. Hamak na ako lang pala talaga ang miserable sa mundo. Hahahaha...

I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone...

Santa Worshippers

2004-12-27T18:43:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: Carol Banawa - Stay

Why did you have to leave me
When you said that love will conquer all?
Why did you have to leave me?
When you said that dreaming
Was as good as reality

-*sniff*... I mean, err, this girl I used to like sang this for our practical test in music. That was in third year high school. I just remembered it all of a sudden is all. Not like it has any meaning or anything... ahahahaha... *looks around nervously*
------------------------------
I've been thinking. The western concept of Santa Claus is some jolly old fat guy with white hair and all. I figure that's because this is their idea of what a warm, loving human being should look like. So what about the pinoy Santa Claus? What would he hypothetically look like?

The first thing that came to my mind was FPJ, God rest his soul. I never did find his brief political stint tasteful, but he is in the end a man of integrity, one that the vast majority if not all of the Filipino people adore or at the very least respect. But anyway, Santa Claus? Not quite. I figure pinoy kids wouldn't like the possibility that Santa could unleash a furious pompyang combo attack upon them had they been naughty throughout the year.

What about Dolphy? Funny, warm-looking, a good person. But then I remembered the times when I used to watch Home Along Da Riles. He would whack Babalu over the head whenever the guy screwed up. Hehe. Gotta love slapstick as a kid. Still, that's not something you'd really look for in the modern corporeal embodiment of the biggest holiday of the year. Next!

That's where I stopped dead in my tracks. Come to think of it, I can remember no prominent personage in history who looks anything like the fat guy. When I see him, he just looks like a grandpa. A nice, old grandpa who lets you sit on his knee and tells you stories about finding lost treasure in Paraguay or travelling freak shows. I didn't think that would go over too well with the PI though; most of our old guys are flat out crazy.

So there. I still haven't come up with anything. I think I should stop at that... there is a lot more to be done than to worry about some guy who doesn't even exist.
-----------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:

Yes, you heard me. He doesn't exist. If he did, I'd get the one tiny little practically negligible thing that I wanted all year. But nooo... It doesn't help that I haven't smoked, gotten drunk or done drugs all year long. I didn't stay out any later than I should have, got good grades and didn't freakin' do freakin' anything with my freakin' life. I just shut up, read books, tended to my hobbies and watched TV. Apparently, none of that is enough to get you on the "nice list." Well la-dee-da. If I ever do find this nonexistent bastard, I'ma put a hole right in his head. And I'll kill the Saint Patrick's Day Leprechaun too. And Jack Skellington. And the Easter Bunny. And Cupid! Definitely Cupid! I'ma choke that guy until he's freakin' dry! I'll sink some arrows right into his chest and see how much he likes it. And the, err, the New Year's, um... Dragon... type... thing! You know, the one with like, fangs and claws and a tail and, uhh, dragony stuff! The one that ate the moon and stole the stars! He's the one who spat on meteorites and sent them flying to the earth, and when it hit the ground the thing exploded into lots of colors, so some guy who saw him do that said "Do that again!" so the dragon did and that's how they invented fireworks. Yes. Fireworks are nothing more than meteorites and dragon spit. Well they used to be, but now they're just these little powder-filled thingies. Back in the 1850's, the dragons got so tired of being caught and harnessed for their spit during the ber months to make fireworks that they all decided to commit suicide, 'cause they couldn't taste anything without spit. And that's why there are no more dragons during this day and age.

Happy Holidays to you and yours! :D

Romance is Insane

2004-12-20T10:03:00.000+08:00

Today's Musical Inclination: 112 - Cupid

Cupid Cupid doesn't lie
But you won't know unless you give it a try
Oh baby, true love won't lie but we won't know
Unless we give it a try, give it a try

-Gah. We went to this wedding yesterday and I heard this song like three times or more. It's nice yeah, but, well... I shall elaborate anyway.
------------------------------
At some point during our close family friend's wedding, I felt like heading for the door and running like hell away from there. No, it wasn't the food, or the place, or the company, all of which were excellent. What concerned me was the music. It's not that it sucked. Quite the contrary, it was your typical wedding music. But that's just it. I don't like wedding music. Well I do, but I don't.

Wedding music makes me feel "romantic"... or queasy. Or both. I'm guessing both. Anyway, when I get like that, I tend to think of her. I try not to, but I always end up doing so anyway, and I don't like that. I don't like thinking of her. I hate thinking of her. Mind, I don't hate her, I just don't like being reminded that I'm utterly and totally screwed for the rest of my life because the universe has conspired against me and so it has been fated that I may never be with her in that-sort-of-way for as long as we both shall live. Amen.

That's ok though. I mean, love is so weak. It's an utterly horrible experience. Never in my life do I feel any weaker than when my mind is flooded with such awful pseudo-romanticisms. And believe you me, I don't like being weak. Call me weird, but that just isn't something that I, on the whole, enjoy.
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day: So it's 12mn, we're headed to Paranaque all the way from Pampanga. We're stuffed from the wedding, mostly from the desserts, although there was this tapioca pudding that me and my sister really wanted to try. Unfortunately, we ran out of the stuff fairly quickly. I think it's a fair assessment to say that the stuff must have been pretty good; my sister claims to have seen her ninong devour one plate in only five spoonfuls.

Anyway, on our way home, mom got this idea to get some Chinese food for dad. Being the only male in the vehicle other than the driver, I was tasked to step out of the car and buy the food. The driver would of course be needed for moving the car around in no-parking-space situations, such as we had last night, ergo I was the obvious second choice. So I got there and ordered, but the food took forever. I must have spent 45 minutes in there. While I handle waiting quite well, I can be a little insane sometimes. Ok, a lot insane. In those 45 minutes, I came up with this musical in my head, a musical that encapsulates my experience in the Chinese restaurant.
------------------------------
The Park of the North

Me: I would like to buy some Chinese food
I came here 'cause I heard this place was good
Lady A: Very good choice sir, right this way!
What would you like to order today?
Me: I would like some salted fish fried rice
Lady A: Excellent choice sir, that's quite nice!
Me: And an order of your toast chow mein
Lady A: Sure, but be wary, the sauce stains
Me: Last I would like fish fillet hot pot
Lady A: I've got all your orders, this is what you've got
Rice and noodles and some fish
I shall return carrying your wish...

Me: Waiting, waiting, waiting
Waiting, waiting, waiting
I am waiting
So frustrating
This is getting irritating
Let's see what I can relating
All these critics overrating
While the democrat is stating
Something something in debating
That other guy's lowest rating
This place is asphyxiating
All these worms should make good baiting
People staring, why they hating?
Man I feel like mastur--
Lady A: We're sorry sir, your food will be ready in a while

Me: Hurry up with that! I've been waiting forever!
Wise Old Waiter: What is forever but a day that does not end?
A leaf that never falls or a line that does not bend?
Forever might take up until the earth kisses the moon
But worry not, for in this case, forever's merely soon...
Me: But I'm still waiting!

Lady B: Oh you've come at a very bad time...
Me: Prepostorous! I am guilty of no crime!
Restaurant Crew: Oh yes you are!
Me: Oh no I'm not!
Restaurant Crew: Oh yes you are!
Me: Oh no I'm not!
Restaurant Crew: Then how did our delivery boy get shooooottttt????!?!?!!!!
Me: You can't pin that act on me!
I've been waiting for eternity!
I've been sitting here all this time,
I could not have done that crime!
Lady B: You are speaking bullshit! Wait... the hell?!
This boy has just shot himself!
We're so sorry sir, you are so right
Here is your food now have a good night...

*Applause*
------------------------------
The Park of the North and all its lines and dialogues and shit are owned by me. Plagiarism is bad esse. Don't go stealing nu'n lest you wish to wake up underwater.

Erm, can anyone help me make a better copyright statement? *scratches head*

Physician or Psychiatrist?

2004-12-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

It says 1:11 am on my PC clock. Time to make a wish. I wish to be stranded in the land of dreams tonight. At the rate I'm going, no nightmare can be emptier or sadder than my conscious seems to be.

My right hand is twitching. One of my knuckles is kinda purplish, and my right index finger hurts whenever I bend it. I suppose it isn't so bad. It's a distraction, anyway. The thought of playing with sharp objects did cross my mind, but I don't wanna get tetanus from weight training.

My life is slowly catching up with me. The more I think about it, the more I want to end it. It's a little tiring for me to elaborate so I'll forego the melodrama on this occasion.

I actually stepped out to buy The Barbs' Lupine Peroxide album earlier today. It didn't do shit. I suppose the walk made me appreciate the night lights of the streets around Panay Avenue, but that lasted all of ten seconds. Ok, I'll admit, Massive Crush was pretty cool, but even that didn't make me feel a whole lot better.

And here I am. Typing. Typing typing typing. That's the only cure I've ever known. So I hope I get cured of my insomnia. The sooner I get to sleep, the sooner I can get stuck inside a dream.

Ahh, who am I kidding? Right now, I feel like I could stay here all night. There's not a thing in this world that can snap me out of this downward spiral of despair and hopelessness...

Kung sa Harvard na Lang Kaya Ako Napadpad?

2004-12-08T09:39:00.000+08:00

Slipknot - Vermillion

I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me
I won't let this build up inside of me

She isn't real! I can't make her real!
She isn't real! I can't make her real!
She isn't real... I can't make her real...
She isn't real... I can't make her real...

-Did you guys really need a lyrics post? Cause I dunno. Vermillion is just a lot of screaming and stuff. I like it though, for some reason.
------------------------------
Anlabo. Anlabo talaga. Kasi, ano. May cactus. Cactuses pala. Ay mali. Cactii. Teknikal pala tayo dito. Mga siyentipiko. Leche. Ang boring ng Nat Sci 1. I am teh stuck in teh vortex of doom. Parang black hole. Ano yun? Ah oo. Yung cactii. O yan ha, maayos na. Ayan. Cactii. Sumasabog sila. Marami sila, tas sasabog sila isa-isa. Ewan kung bakit. Napupuno ata ng hangin.

Tas ano pa, may scholarship ako galing ng Japan. Oo. Kaya yumaman ako kahit paano. Kaso, sumabog kasi yung mga cactii eh. Lecheng cactii yan. Imbes na maka-ipon ako, nawalan pa ko ng pera. Naging negative cash pa. Kasi nga yung cactii. Saka pine trees. Lumobo yung mga cactii, tas sumabog. Yung mga pine tree di ko man nakita pero nandun sa papel eh. Pinabayad ba naman sakin! Demit men... Nawala tuloy scholarship ko.

Tas yun, nagising na ko.
--------------------------------
Alas nuwebe na pala... hindi ko akalaing siyam na oras ako makakatulog. Pagod nga ako, pero hindi ko naman naisip na ganun kalubha ang pagod ko. Oo, naglakad nga ako, pero lagi naman akong naglalakad. Siguro nasobrahan lang ako sa heavy lifting. Maliban sa pagkakaroon ko ng PE na weight training, pinag-buhat pa nila ako ng ohp kahapon, para sa kas 1. Ayos lang, kasi wala naman akong silbi sa grupo eh. Ganun naman palagi eh. Palibhasa hindi ako inuutusan. Ganun lang naman kadali yun eh, wala naman. May pinagawa naman sakin: the roles of females in primitive society, Yun nga lang, pagdating sa reporting, ako lang ata walang pictures. Na-disappoint ata tuloy sina klasmeyts. Sorry po, ganyan lang talaga. I don't like pictures kasi I'm not photogenic eh...

Nagmadali pa man din akong maka-akyat ng CAL, kasi medyo late na ko para sa eng 10. Ngunit, ano ito? Ang prof namin ay may sakit at hindi matutuloy ang klase? O hinde! Hindi ito maaari! Err, pero, sa totoo niyan, ayos na rin. Gusto ko na ring pumunta ng mb nun eh. Saka, aba, nag-text pa! Gamit niya ang chikka (syempre, dahil sino nga ba ang hindi gumagamit ng chikka?). Por eng 10 parposes daw. Plis aknoleyds. O sige, reply. "Aknoleydsd po!" Naks. Pormal na pormal. Parang secret agent. Kaso, 'pinas nga pala 'to. Wala tayong secret agent. Sana meron, para matagal na nating napapatay yung mga walang kwentang nagpapa-bulshet ng buhay dito. Pero wala eh. Yun.

Kaya diretso ako ng mb. Ay teka, mineral break pala muna (mineral water, ungas). Tas mb. Nakita ko dun si blockmate-and-former-dps-classmate, na siyang nag-aaral para sa Philo. Kaya dun muna ko tumambay, kasi wala akong ibang tatambayan. Inumpluwensyahan ko pa ng rak. Hindi hardcore ah, pinoy rak lang saka medyo mainstream rak. Chicosci, Kjwan, Urbandub (gusto ko sanang pakinggan yung New Tatoo kaso di ko mahanap *gasp!*) at Audioslave. Oo. Dyan nagsisimula ang mga thrasher rakistas. Buti pa nga. In all fairness, medyo boring kasi yun eh. If I have to be seen around her (dahil kaklase ko siya sa mth 63 at nat sci 1), she has to grow an edge man. Maybe if she went to school all clad in black with a pentagram necklace and some mascara under her eyes it wouldn't be so bad.

Bad trip talaga!!! Ang baba ng grade ko sa first exam sa math 63! 80 amputa! 80!!! Kahindik-hindik!!! Tang ina, nakakahiya. Parang ayoko na tuloy ipakita ang pagmumukha ko sa UP. Tang ina talaga. Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Sorry po oblation, I have failed you... hindi na ako karapat-dapat mabuhay. Patayin niyo na lang ako. Dahil sa 80% na equivalent ng 2.25 ata, malabo na akong makapag-shift niyan. At pano na ang mga pangarap ko niyan? Sa tingin niyo ba'y may accounting lawyer na nakakuha ng 80% sa isang hamak na math 63 exam? Aba aba, hindi maaari yan. Kaya patayin niyo na lang ako, kaysa naman maging professor ako sa math.

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pagkatapos ng math 63, heto na tayo sa Vortex of Doom. Nat Sci 1. Men, wala talaga akong naintindihan. Sasabihin ko ulit ha, para sobrang linaw natin. WALA. Yan ang naintindihan ko. Pagkatapos niyan, pumunta pa ko ng SC at bumili ng refill ng .3 na gtec, tas DPS, tas SC ulit, tas greenhills, tas uwi na. Mahaba rin naman ang araw ko, pero kahit na, hindi ko akalaing alas nuwebe ako magigising ngayon.
-------------------------------
Bad trip. Honga pala, bad trip ako. Medyo. Kainis. Basta. Yun.
-------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:
Sins of the Past

It's like this. I had this best friend who had, at one time, seven different girlfriends. Yes that's right. All at the same time. The thing is, now that I haven't seen the guy in over a year and we're completely devoid of all contact with each other, some (well ok, just one in particular) of these girls now happen to think I'm their best friend. You know, like, she texts almost everyday, miss call, try to get my landline... I'm too nice to tell her, "I don't even know you! STAY AWAY FROM MEEEE!!!!!" so I just kinda take it. I'm always, "hehe, yeah, sure, ok... right." She doesn't get it! She's still at it man! It gets annoying. Gah. How do you get rid of people like that anyway?

I guess the universe just really enjoys screwing with me. Here I am being punished for something that I had no part in. Come on... he was my friend, sure. So what? Why should I be constantly pestered when their business is with him and not at all with me?

Sins of the past. I have a few too many. Guess what? I never learn, either. So there will be more. A lot more. I can feel it already. Because that's what I do. That is my purpose. I screw up. I drain natural resources. That's all I'm ever good for.

Redemption. Possible? Hah. Unlikely.

She Sells Sanctuary

2004-12-02T08:10:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination:
Veruca Salt - Loneliness is Worse

When you’ve had enough
When you’ve got it bad enough and you can’t let go
When it comes to blows
And you start to overflow
And you can’t get home
It’s a subtle kind of cruel
It taps my spine here
I’m drawing a line
I’m asking please

Don’t you wanna be happy with me?
I’m afraid if you don’t come around soon I’ll turn sadder than you ever were
And you’ll learn loneliness is worse
You’ve got to try

December’s all alone and he’s calling me on the phone
But he sounds so cold
He says he loves me so
But how would I ever know?
Certain words grow old
It’s a vicious kind of catch
It sides me blind now
I’m out of my mind
I want to scream

Don’t you wanna be happy with me?
I’m afraid if you don’t come around soon I’ll turn sadder than you ever were
And you’ll learn loneliness is worse
You’ve got to try

Love liked me long ago
It had a way of making everyone the same
But now the angels must laugh and sigh
To hear me pleading with you
And needing you this way
Oh why?

Don’t you wanna be happy with me?
I’m afraid if you don’t come around soon I’ll turn sadder than you ever were
And you’ll learn loneliness is worse
You’ve got to try to stay mine all the way

-I'm not fond of posting whole lyrics anymore, but I love this song. I must have listened to it a gazillion times now and I'm still not sick of it. It's just so... so sad... *sniff* (thanks again to cnbgirl for the wicked mp3)
-------------------------------
I have this theory: there is only a limited number of times that one can say the word "haller?!" or any of its variations and likenesses (i.e. tC oLwEiz, mUaH, LabShU, fwend, hellers, byErz, etc.) before he goes insane, or at the very least gets significantly dumber. Lately, I feel like I've fallen victim to my own theorem. Not that I choose to be, really, it's just that I don't have much of a choice.

Let me clear something up. I never use those aforementioned words. Well, maybe not never, just very rarely ever. What I have been using are these: O_o o.o ^__^ @_@ >.< >____> (,") XD and so on and so forth. Doesn't that have the same effect on me anyway? Don't they look just as stupid as the other words sound?

It basically boils down to the fact that there are really only three people who get me, and I mean really get me. These are the three people I run to whenever there is some sort of qualm or rant that I must dispose of. I don't know exactly what makes them so different from other people, but for some reason I just feel right talking to them. They're like my sanctuary... or my mental institution. My good mental institution I mean, not the type that puts you in a straight jacket and locks you up for life.

Thing is, I can't reach any of them anymore. Two are in the CMC over at UP, but Pasky's all busy with her UJP stuffs and whatnot, while Jam's sked is a complete parallel with mine (yes, in a Euclidean geometric system please, the kind where they never intersect). The other one, Nikka, lives in California, so catching her online can be a tad difficult at times.

It's not that I want them to feel compelled to absorb my lunacy. I prolly just miss 'em, that's all. It sucks not having anyone to talk to about stuff you don't usually talk about with other people. I think everyone has that inner sanctum only to be found in a few others, and I am no exception. Sure there's my blog, but it just isn't the same...

The moral of the story? Hope is bad, especially when you place it in the hands of other people. The fact that they can break it means they have, or they will.

Disclaimer: The previous statement does not apply to the three people mentioned, who are saints for putting up with my bullshit and have done nothing wrong. Seriously, I mean that. I'm actually starting to enjoy keeping all my lunacy to myself lately. It can be quite nice. I really just put that down because it sounded kinda cool and it would be a shame if I forgot to save it for posterity. So, if any of the three of you are reading, no offense, all right? I understand, so it's only fair that you should too. So there. End of discussion.
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:
Let's Go Metro!

No, I haven't been using St. Ives' Apricot Scrub. I never will. The thought of me saying, "Men, saglit lang, Apricot Scrub break lang..." is just way too weird. Lately, however, I've stopped using Likas Papaya Soap (which I could really use on account of the sun baking me as I walk around the UP campus). I wouldn't have stopped using it, except mom has this freaky purple soap that smells like grapes. I like the scent. It's quite subtle yet delectable in that it is something like a tangy bubble gum flavor. I mix that up with raspberry sorbet, a bubble bath that has gone unused over the years (well not that many years). Nice. I smell like cotton candy. Then there's my shampoo. I never thought putting coal tar (yes I'm serious) on my hair would be the greatest idea ever, but it's not that bad. One thing though: it smells like turpentine. That's partially why I own a bit of Cream Silk leave-on moisturizer, that is, other than the fact that the harsh Diliman conditions leave my hair drier than death valley. It smells kinda girly, but hey, it works.

Just one last thing: I love my black leather shoes. I don't care that they kinda pinch my toes, that everyone else is wearing either rubber shoes or sandals, or even that they so totally do not mesh with my 10-year-old-gamer-slash-skate-punk ensemble. I love them. They give my soles extra protection from the rough sidewalks around UP, something that my thin-soled Dadas have never been able to do. I love my black leathers. Take them away from me at the risk of dying a most horrible yet mysterious death. Err, I mean, a risk increased to the levels between "very very likely" and "OMG WTF is that monkey doing with a chainsaw AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

No Penetration on the Stage, Please!

2004-11-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't it be nice if you went to sleep and never woke up?

Let the Insanity Commence

2004-11-10T15:03:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Switchfoot - Meant to Live
-We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
-I was never a fan of Stacie Orrico's "More to Life," even though everyone else seemed to lap it up like the addicting pop ear-heroin that it was ought to be. Not that I despised the song or anything, it's just that I suppose she was saying things I already knew anyway in a melody that just didn't quite catch my attention. On that note, I must mention that I was not too much a fan of Bamboo's "Noypi" either. It's ok, but it's not the type of thing I would search KazaaLite for.
------------------------------
For days on end I've been hoping that classes would resume. I've been bored out of my skull at home with not a thing to do and not a person to be with. Same people, same routine, same things day after day after day. How truly the saying does go: familiarity breeds contempt.

Or so I thought. With the first day of the semester just a couple of nights away, I started thinking of what I'd be losing. No more falling asleep at 2 o'clock in the morning. No more infinite stretches Playstation2 game time. No more staring at the PC waiting for somebody's name to pop-up on the Yahoo! instant messager's alert such that he or she could save me from my insanity. If I simply have to be insane these days, I would have to do so on my own accord, not to mention at my own risk.

But worse than all that is my mangled schedule. Those dyscalculic bastards who're taking math 63 for the nth time during their tenure in UP have blatantly robbed me and a few insignificant other math majors of our preferred morning time slot. As such, I had to return to UP several times during enlistment, cancel one of my pre-enlisted classes, get a new class, and live down a schedule that has me racing from the top floors of AS, CAL and the math building in literally no time at all during Tuesdays and Fridays.

This was the main thing looming in my mind yesterday as I trudged to the fourth floor of Palma Hall yesterday. Getting from the first floor of the chem pav to the third floor of the math building was one thing, but from the fifth floor of CAL? Firstly, it would be rather tiring, especially due to the fact that I wear less-than-comfortable shoes on the aforementioned days such that I might save my rubber soles for my PE classes on Mondays and Thursdays. And, of course, there are time constraints to be considered, especially on exam dates.

Fortunately, since the sem was merely getting underway, I had all the time in the world to mosey leisurely along my way through the day. I timed myself and it appeared I would be no worse off than I had been last semester. Plus, our professor in Math 63 appears to be a fairly reasonable lady, although she did jump right into the discussion on the first day, which I found to be quite unreasonable. From that time I merely had to survive a little more than an hour in my Nat Sci 1 class and I would be free to leave. I must admit however that I was rather taken aback by the sheer number of students gathered in the CS auditorium at that lonely hour of 1 in the afternoon. There were easily a hundred of us in that class, which surprised me if only for the fact that I had never been in a class so huge before. But, like so many things in life, it ultimately did not matter.

A new semester. Smell the newness. Hear it, see it, touch it, taste it. Be one with the newness. Be the newness. Get it drunk and take advantage of it and dump it abruptly. Kidnap it, eliminate all documentations of your existence, take millions of embezzled dollars and stash it in your Swiss bank account, take the next flight to Acapulco, change your name to Señor Juan Carlos Miguel y Montoya, live a life of luxury with the newness and become a renowned and prolific Colombian druglord specializing in the production and distribution of cocaine.

...and that is the story of how I went insane. Amen.
------------------------------
Completely Wrong Thought of the Day:
I've been watching a lot of "The Apprentice" lately. Maybe a little too much even. I basically hate Heidi, Tammy and Omarosa, but I hate Tammy most of all. Thank God she got fired last night. Well, on Philippine cable television anyway. I must admit, I've a new found respect for Heidi since watching her live down that tragedy with her mother. Omarosa, on the other hand, was making a telenovela out of that bit of plaster that fell on her head. I wanna see that one where Omarosa gets fired too, haha. I saw clips of that on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and all I know is she'll be wearing that annoying powder blue suit and she'll come back into the board room, crying and begging Trump to reconsider. Hehe. Oops... guess I should take it easy from this thing huh? And I already know who's gonna win at that... yeah. You're fired! *does that spinning finger thing that Trump did to Jason and that Conan mocks on occasion*

Dreams Plucked From the Pit of Insanity

2004-11-02T09:05:00.000+08:00

I was like in some sort of climbing battle thing. There were a bunch of people but I think these five guys (japoy, from the Milo commercials and my schoolmate at DPS though he doesn't really know who I am, was included) were assigned to beat me up. I was struggling but suddenly I did some sick spins and fast moves and basically decked each one of 'em (japoy included). Actually, I might have poked their eyes, or at least used the martial arts "claw"-like strike... I can't remember. Anyway, after I found out that I won, I ran around screaming hip hop-like "Yeah y'all! Outta hizzle fo' shizzle dizzle!"

So I won in the quarter-finals of some kind of Tae Kwon Do competition. I was fourth. The guy who won first was another former schoolmate, though a less popular one. He was in a batch younger than me, was the little brother of a former GT and was the significant other of this one girl that I kinda really totally liked. We would meet again, hopefully, in the finals.

I couldn't get over it. I told all my friends how funny it was, because I've never even dreamed of being a Tae Kwon Do practitioner. Now here I was garnering an award from some previously undiscovered talent. I was the new kid on the scene, and dammit, I had won fourth in a major competition on my first go!

But, the finals were still a concern. I had lucked my way to that point, but what about later on when actual fighting was concerned? I asked my third year HS adviser if her bro would be willing to help train me, and she said it wouldn't be a problem.

Then I woke up in a van. I told my friend all about that weird Tae Kwon Do dream, and he told me that really happened. In fact, we were heading right for the competition. A former GS classmate was driving the van, and we hit another van that had La Salle insignia and colors painted all over it...

...and then I woke up. For real this time. Freaky dream.

I must admit, it does have a striking number of parallelisms to real life. I'm too lazy to point them all out though.
------------------------------
Got all my class cards except for PE. I have a 1.6 GWA. I'm a college scholar but I must admit I'm a tad disappointed. I'ma do better next time because I want to shift and because I can dammit!

Cilice

2004-10-28T23:50:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Eraserheads - Ang Huling El Bimbo
-"At lumipas ang maraming taon
'Di na tayo nagkita
Balita ko'y may anak ka na
Ngunit walang asawa
Taga-hugas ka raw ng pinggan sa may Ermita
At isang gabi nasagasaan sa isang madilim na eskinita
Lahat ng pangarap ko'y bigla lang natunaw
Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw..."
-Not just for tonight, but for the last few nights at that. I can't get this song outta my head.
------------------------------
October nights in the Philippines often come with rain showers, as is the case for tonight. Before, this was always a good thing. I have always loved the rain. I remember once back in high school when I had to commute on my way home. Right outside the door to our condo I got stuck in this monster shower. I just stood their, keys in hand, listening to the raindrops beat down on me. It was nice, now that I think about it. In a weird, almost surreal way, I had enjoyed every second of it.

Now the rain evokes mixed emotions. A part of me will always love the way the rain seems to wash everything clean when it bears down on this world, but lately, it's also been a little sad. I've never been the type who gets depressed when it rains. If anything, it used to cheer me up. Then again, not a whole lot cheers me up these days.

It's probably nothing really. Maybe I'm just bored, and as is often the case, this leads to depression.

But sometimes I can't help but entertain the thoughts. This is my life, and in comparison to everyone else I know, it sucks. Self-mutilation seems feasible, logically speaking. I am imperfect, thus something is wrong with me. Something is wrong with me because I have done something wrong. Those who commit wrongdoings must be punished, and therefore I must be punished. It's not anyone else's business to do so for me, so I must do so myself. I am totally screwed.

That's the twisted side of me thinking. I guess I try to fight it... sometimes I'd rather not. It gets exhausting. I'm so tired of waging war against myself. I'm just thinking, hey, maybe it wouldn't be so bad you know? Succumb to these... things. Whatever. Act on impulse. Ride the winds of fate and see where I land. I could end up worse off but at least I tried something.

Nah... I have too much time on my hands. That's all there is to it.
------------------------------
Completely wrong thought of the day: I have this idea for a reality show. We could get like a bunch of people to sign-up at peyups.com and basically, you know, do member stuff. They try to send artiks and make new threads and generally interact, either pissing people off or making lots of new acquaintances. Every week, a panel of judges will check how each person is doing, say, by number of artiks, mem status, PMs, comments, acquaintances, overall impact etc. The person who has the lowest "rating" amongst all these categories gets fired... by Eddie Gil. And he does that three-finger spin thing that Trump used to do on The Apprentice. The winner gets to stay as a columnist, and... that's all I got for now. I don't even have a title. Obviously, it'll take up to maybe more than a year to complete, since a single artik takes a couple of months on average before it gets published. And also, the show is completed before it is aired and it gets no publicity whatsoever, so, you know, so the peyups peeps have no idea they are amongst would-be stars... or would-be popularity whores. Same difference. Take your pick.

Hair-Brained Schemes: Part 2

2004-10-19T08:16:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Kitchie Nadal - Huwag na Huwag Mong Sasabihin
-"Oh...
'Wag na 'wag mong sasabihin
Na hindi mo nadama itong
Pag-ibig kong handang
Ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo..."
-I know other people don't exactly get it, but I like Kitchie Nadal. I really do! I mean, her songs are good. At least I find them to be really good... plus she's cute... and she's got a really sexy voice... and I think she's supposed to be smart or something. You see? What's not to like?
------------------------------
Kitchie

*bgm plays*
Maalaala mo kaya...
Dear Ate Charo...

Ok let's drop this. I mean, the whole Maalaala thing anyway.

Yesterday was crazy... no wait. It was a little more than that. It was insane, and I mean, absolutely insane. Of course, I shall elaborate. (you knew I would)

My Monday schedule was pretty much fixed by Sunday afternoon. I would go to DPS first and help Kxia prep for the press con, maybe catch up with my third year adviser (she got into her MA in educational psychology by the way, so once again, congratulations) then head home. A little later, a friend of mine asks if we can play Warcraft in the afternoon. I said ok. A little later still, she says they have some sort of business venture to take care of, so maybe we could just hang there instead. I just agreed to everything. I didn't care. I had all the time in the world.

After my short stop at DPS, I waited at the eternal tambayan of true blue Dilimanians, McDo Commonwealth. None of my friends had arrived even after I had finished my lunch, so I decided to hit the nearby arcade. I met my friend RB there, so we decided to come back down to McDo and wait for the others. Somewhere in between our Kjwan and Yellowcard sound trips, he told me something that should have made me head for the door and run like hell. (though I did not, of course) This business, apparently, was the same blasted pyramid scheme that some girl tried to get me into about a month ago. I thought It'd be ok, because I assumed my friends who were in the network would go do their business while I would hang out at Megamall with my other friends who weren't in the network until it was time to go home. No worries right?

Wrong. When we got there, not only were we a ride or two away from Megamall, we were also supposed to stay for their seminar, apparently. "That's the whole purpose of us going here!" said my friend. It turns out she had gotten herself involved in this thing and had put it off for quite some time. Her friends who had recruited her were starting to get pissed off. We (my friends and I who weren't in the network) were there not really to be recruited but merely so my friend could say, "Ayan o, meron naman akong mga prospect eh, mahirap lang talaga na i-convince silang sumali..." Translation? She had dug herself into a hole and we were there to pull her out.

This pissed me off. A lot. Maybe I didn't like being lied to. Maybe I felt like I wasted my whole day. Maybe I was just really looking forward to buying Kitchie Nadal's album while the other peeps I was with were doing God knows what in God knows where. Bottom line? I wasn't gonna waste another nanosecond in that place.

To be fair, we did try to help at first. We were gonna stay for the seminar and jet, just to really convince those other guys that my friend had us semi-hooked. But no, we all felt like going home. I was the only one who spoke, but I swear, I was speaking for all of us. Naturally, confrontations were unavoidable. I kinda snapped at my friend for wasting our time. I didn't mean to, and at the time I don't think I sounded mean at all, but looking back, I guess I kinda was.

There was talk. A lot of talk. One of my non-network friends tried to sort the whole thing out. There was more talk. I really didn't know what about or why. I was just chilling under a lamppost with a couple of my other friends. All three of us were complaining and wishing we had just stayed home instead. Finally, it was time to go. Thankfully, not only did we retain our non-member status, we also got to trudge right to Megamall so that I could try and grab that Kitchie Nadal album.

Shortly after arriving at Megamall, my friend apologized. I apologized too. I guess I overreacted then. It's not like I wasn't empathic to their cause. I was. I knew exactly what it must have been like, especially since money is concerned. I understand that sometimes people get a little desperate. (which is not to say that my friend's attempt was desperate; I would have done the same thing I guess)

But, well, what can I do? I don't care much for these things. The thing is, I have more money than I can spend. I don't need to earn more, but I don't want to lose any either. That's why I have more money than I can spend. Know what I mean? That doesn't mean I don't believe in taking risks. I do. I believe in taking calculated risks. Things like that scheme? Just too unstable for my taste. But hey, you wanna get rich quick? By all means try. If you do, I'll be happy for you. Just do your best to leave me out of it. Well, that is, unless charity from you to me is involved... *wink wink*

In retrospect, the day turned out ok. Even though we only walked around Mega and eventually had dinner, it was kinda fun. We had to squeeze through one of the last trains home at the MRT, where we made fun of stupid deodorant or feminine napkin commercials with pretty much the same setting. When I got home, I knew exactly what I would do. (after taking a shower of course, since all that walking left me in a most unpleasant hygenic state)

I got into my room, turned up the airconditioner, and played a rousing, muted game of "Yu-Gi-Oh! Stairway to the Destined Duel" on my GBA-SP while listening to Kitchie Nadal wail away with her guitar...

Oh... 'wag na 'wag mong sasabihin...
------------------------------
Completely wrong thought of the day: May boyfriend na daw si Iya?! Nakalimutan ko na yung pangalan kase wala naman talaga akong pakialama dun. *hack cough Drew Arellano cough 'di ako sure sa spelling* Daw ha, daw. Hindi ko alam kung totoo. O hinde... hindi ito maaari... huhuhu!!! Pero ayos lang. Andyan pa naman si Kitchie eh... *grins smugly*

My sister says if I like somebody, the type that I'm attracted to that person just by looking at them, about 60% of the time they'll like me too. That's because of a little something called pheromones. These are these chemical things that attract other people to us and vice-versa and such and such. Obviously I know a great deal of the details. Now, real quick, how many girls in how many are sure to like me? Three out of five? Nope, sorry. By using the short-hand method of calculations, at least one in five girls that I like should like me too. Know how I got that? Well, 60% is 6 out of 10. So 6 out of 10 girls like me, right? If you split that 10 into two groups of five, that means the six gets split too. There's one group of five girls who all like me, and another group where only one of the girls likes me, since there is one girl left over from the six that like me. So there. I have to find five girls that I really, really like. At least one of them ought to like me too... hahahahaha...

Note: When larger numbers are used, the results get to be... well pretty depressing. If I use 100, the result turns from 1-in-5 to a dismal 10-in-25. (even if you drop one to make 25 even, 10 is smaller then half of 24, which is 12) That is why I opt to stick with the second smallest possible formula, which has just the right touch of optimism. The smallest, of course, is 1-in-2 (taken from 5-drop-1), which is way too optimistic to actually be realistic. So there. I must find five girls that I really really like. Some would go as far as to say it's luuuv. Real love. As the saying goes, happy hunting... ohohohohohoooo!!!!!

Well I wouldn't have to find five girls if only... *gets tackled and sedated* ooohh... *BLAG!*

A Total Mess

2004-10-13T08:57:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Madonna - Crazy for You
-"I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's so brand new..."
-Don't even!!! I swear, if I hear one comment about, you know, that, I will unleash the power of TEH RHINE MAIDEN >:) on your sorry punk-ass.
--------------------------------
I'm a mess right now. A total mess.

I have a Chem 1 exam later. I haven't studied at all. I think around 10 or so I'ma prolly hit the books... err, the lecture hand-outs anyway. Gah. I don't care.

I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Fahrenheit 9/11 last weekend on pirated DVD. Nice. Fun. I'd love to do a full-blown review but spoilers are unavoidable in the former and the latter really doesn't warrant a review. It's all good. Fahrenheit was entertaining and Eternal Sunshine was just beautiful.

We saw Feng Shui a couple of days ago. It was ok. It was not without its strong points, but it seems to fall into the "not-scary-just-surprising" category of movies. Now I get what Jam said about that little kid on the bike. Hahaha. Retard. (the kid I mean, the kid on the bike)

I bought a webcam. I thought I'd snap a friendster pic or two, but it turns out I'm just too damn ugly for that. So there, never mind. The cam will be limited to YM chats wherein I am viewing my chatmates' cams or wherein they are using voice chat.

Shit. I hate feeling like this. I told myself I wouldn't feel this way anymore. I hate this. I hate this I hate this I hate this. It's complicated and I don't feel like explaining. I just wanna forget about it. Is that so much to ask?

Make it stop. Please, tama na. Ayoko na ng ganito...
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I've been tripping on friendster lately... hahaha. Anyone want a testi? I can write one even if I know absolutely nothing about you, and it isn't those crappy ones that go "I don't know her really, sa net lang, but she seems nice, parang ano, parang ganito, parang ganyan..." Sheesh. They gotta learn to be a little more assertive than that. And that's me, assertive (online anyway hahaha). So there. If you want one lemme know. Nyahaha. As if. Oh yeah, if you want one of course, you gotta add me first. Duh. Look around. My e-mail add's around here somewhere.

Eighteen Shots of Wala Lang

2004-10-09T18:42:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Death Cab for Cutie - The Sound of Settling
-"Baa bah, This is the sound of settling
Baa bah, baa bah...
I have a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots"
-----------------------------
I was going to post our Eng 11 class picture here, but that would cause the tagboard to 'port to the bottom yet again. You may view the picture here. It's a li'l fuzzy, but most of the pics in prof's album are. That's ok though. I'm not the type to complain about my privileges.
------------------------------
I went to my friend's debut yesterday. It's funny. A week ago I was pretty sure I'd opt to stay home, but a few days before the event the text messages started pouring in. "Jaykie, sama ka na! Iniinvite ka naman eh, 'di ka lang niya alam kontakin. Sige na! Marami naman tayo dun eh!" Well gee, if you want me there that badly then I guess I could leave the house for a while. Mustn't disappoint the fans I always say. *wink wink*

What bugged me was the time me and my friends set to meet before actually going to the place. The thing was starting at about 6:30pm, and the time we set to meet was at about quarter to 6. This meant that I'd have to go from Parañaque to QC and then back to Pasig while breathing the insane traffic (my regards to San Miguel and their blasted Oktoberfest for generating all the madness). I figured we'd be at the place no later than 7pm, but it was already about 8pm when we got there. Gah. How tactless. I mean, sure, everyone's on Filipino time, but that is no excuse. I've been trying to kick that nasty habit of mine lately, but in this particular case, no such luck.

When we eventually did get there, everyone was already grabbing some stuff to eat. It was a fairly small affair, actually. There were her family members and about a third of our class during fourth year, along with some friends of hers who were in different sections during high school. So there. We met people, we mingled, we ate. Close friends talked amongst themselves. I was called to participate in eighteen shots. I think I had a shot of brandy. I'm not really sure. Another UP vs. UST quasi-debate ensued. There was a brief period for dancing... and we went home. Yeah, I suppose it's obvious that I was pretty bored. But then, that's not what I came there to do. I wanted to support my former-classmate. Dude, she's eighteen! So like, she's been alive for eighteen years, and like, I went there so she could know that I knew that and I could wish her a happy birthday and like a happy life or something, and dammit, that's what I did.

All right. To tell the truth, I felt a bit out of place. I mean, there were these people who had not seen each other in months and they were all thrilled to high heavens to be seeing each other again. I, on the other hand, could only stick with the people I used to hang with during high school. Geez, even they were busy with other people. But what really bothered me was that everyone seemed to have a life. The Baguio peeps had a life. So did my friend from Los Baños. The Mapua peeps, UST peeps and FEU peeps all had lives. Me? La-dee-da-dee-daaaa...

It's not that I don't have a life. It's not that at all. My problem is that I've been clinging too hard to a life that never existed in the first place. That has to stop. I gotta get a life. That's not to say that I don't have one, because I do, sorta. Thank God I don't have to start from scratch. I can just build on what I have and expand. Hey, it's just like Starcraft! Mwahahahaha!

Oh yeah, side note. Ang ingay nung oldies dun sa debut. It's ok, since it's a family thing, so it's pretty normal. It's just funny I think. Here I was trying my best to maintain my poise when this half-drunk bunch would start jeering and shouting whenever a relative would be called to speak.
------------------------------
Lumindol daw kagabi? Huh. Hindi ko man naramdaman. Pero malakas daw eh, so... I hope everyone's all right... Um, I guess that's a tad exaggerated though. I haven't even heard any reports of property damages or whatever, which is good. *snap!* Oops! Uhh, just a habit. Yes. Hahahahaha...
------------------------------
My finals in Math 17 went rather smoothly. I was only able to study this morning at the math building. It was delay after delay really, what with the debut, then the earlier-than-expected time of departure, then the hey-let's-go-to-Megamall-I-wanna-buy-a-webcam-advance-na-lang-sa-allowance-ko... so basically, with 45 minutes left 'til the exam, I flipped through my two notebooks and read all the math stuff. But, well, it turned out okay. I was the first one to finish, so that's gotta be some sort of positive thing, and yes, I got most of the questions for sure.

Before I left the room, our prof showed me my class standing. It's somewhere around 1.25-1.5 I think. I did the math ('cause I'm a math major! Get it? Hahahahaha--ENOUGH! *silence*). Anyway, yeah. Right. So I basically need a 98% on the final exam to get a 1.0, or if it has more weight than the mid-term, a 95 or 96% should suffice. I want an uno to seal the deal with my bizzle fo' shizzle dizzle! Uhh, I mean, for the nth time, I wanna shift to accountancy. An uno in Math 17 will really help my case. Here's hoping...
------------------------------
Completely wrong thought of the day:
Fresh from UPLB, courtesy of my friend:
If there's a will, so be it.

Wahaha! Ala lang. Natawa ko dun. May isa pa siyang sinabi kaso nakalimutan ko na kung alin. Trippings nila sa kowts namputs.

Semestral Confessions

2004-10-01T13:30:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Kjwan - Daliri
-"'di mo na maalala kung saan ka pupunta..."
-"Heto na!"
-"Bastusan na!"
-That's all I could muster, but I love this song! It's teh kewlness!!! XD
------------------------------
Note: This is an extremely long post. I suggest you stop for a yosi or sandwich or RO or whatever break everytime you see a line of-'s. You have been warned.
------------------------------
My first semester in UP is over (other than the finals, which I don't consider part of the sem per se). It wasn't what I expected exactly, but that's all right. Yes, I have been whining a lot during the course of the last four or five months, but looking back, it really wasn't that bad. Here's how my classes looked like... *cues bgm of Usher's "Confessions Part 2"*

These are my confessions... just when I thought I said all I can say my chick on the side says she's got one on the way. These are my confessions... man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do. I guess I gotta give you part 2 of my confessions...
-------------------------------
PE 2 (Basketball Boys)

Everyday: We either do drills, run scrimmage, shoot around or play in a tourney. Usually a combination. We always have the shoot-around.
Mami-miss ko: Meron ba? Guys kami lahat eh, tapos wala naman talaga akong closeness dun. Pero yung mga makukulit bumanat, yun, saka yung mga halimaw na sobrang lakas. Hahaha.
I have learned that: A loss will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Unfinished business: Absolutely nothing.
Memories...
-Maraming celebs sa team namin. Meron kaming Johnny Abarrientos, Sam Cassell, Bruce Bowen, Ben Wallace at Arwind Santos. Yung iba look-alike, yung iba pareho ang hitsura ng game nila. Sa totoo lang, karamihan look-alike lang talaga, eh hindi naman namin alam pangalan nila eh. 'Di na namin tinanong, basta, yun na yun.
-May kaklase kami na nang-aasar, tripping lang ba. Nung naglalaro siya sa semis, hinihiyawan siya ng mga nasa bench, at sinabi niya, "Time to shine!" Magmula noon, bawat score, block, rebound o ano pa man na ginagawan niyang nakapagpapatigil ng oras ay sinisigawan siya ng "Time to shine!" ng mga nasa bench.
-Natalo kami ng one point lang sa finals. Lamang pa naman kami ng bente, anim na minuto na lang ang natitira. Wala ako dun, pero sinisisi nila sa pagkatalo namin ay yung orasan at yung officiating. Sayang, uno pa naman sana kaming lahat.
------------------------------
Chem 1

Everyday: I struggle to maintain consciousness. This class is too damn early at 7am on Mondays and Thursdays. Usually involves powerpoint presentations. No wait. Always involves powerpoint presentations.
Mami-miss ko: Groupmates ko siguro sa reporting. Yung mga nasa row ko, kahit yung iba blockmate ko naman. Meron pang isa, medyo magkakilala kami pero pag wala lang klase. Taga-Miriam ata dati. Hehe.
I have learned that: Making lethal substances is easy, but illegal. I can't make it myself mind you, but I hear it doesn't take that much to make some VX or some Agent Orange or some Mustard Gas... Ahahahahaaaa!!!
Unfinished business: May second exam pa kami sa October 13. Hindi ko pa rin alam yung room. Kailangan kong mag-aral dito, kasi yung class standing ko sa chem mababa ata. Kailangan bumawi. Kailangan makapag-shift.
Memories...
-Yung isang grupo sa reporting namigay ng ice cream! Woohoo!
-Nung minsang nawalan ng klase sinubukan akong sabihan ng mga kaklase ko, eh 'di ko naman sila kilala at akala ko hindi ako ang kausap nila. Ayun, diretso lang ako, 'di ko sila pinansin. Ang sama, kahit 'di ko naman talaga sinasadya.
-Lahat ng lectures kay manang xerox pinapakuha ko lang sa blockmates ko, pay later na lang 'ka ko. Pumapayag naman sila eh, pwede namang tumanggi. Hahahahaha...
-"What do you get when you combine a Ba atom and two Na atoms? BANANA!!!" May mga bahagi sa powerpoint presentation ni prof na tinatawag na "test yourself," kung saan siya's nagbibigay ng tanong na kailangan mong sagutan. One time lumabas yan. Ang corny, pero natawa ako. Ang labo namputs...
------------------------------
Soc Sci 2

Everyday: Our prof will discuss some stuff about political thinkers. We listen on good days. We pretend to do so on bad days. Sometimes he asks questions. Sometimes we can answer them. Madalas nagtatanong si boy tanong, na kalimita'y opposed sa viewpoint ni prof.
Mami-miss ko: Yung tatlong girls sa row ko, na medyo closeness ko. Yung dalawang girls sa second row na taga-Fine Arts. 'Di ko sila closeness pero, wala lang, mukha silang astig.
I have learned: UP is basically screwed. The Philippines is basically screwed. If we wanted to, we could take out our laser from the Institute of Physics and fire it at UST (seriously, our prof's words, not mine). Everyone should be paying more for electricity and oil, but they never do. Hence, napocor is constantly in deficit and we are in danger of running out of oil very soon. Likewise, UP students should be paying more for their matriculation fees, but they never do. Hence, other state universities, along with our public school system, are dying. This is because UP gets more than half (around 55% if I'm not mistaken) of the total subsidy that is alloted for state universities and public schools. But, UP is still having a hard time attracting good proffesors to teach because of the low wages. Thus, the quality of education has slowly deteriorated. If my memory serves me correctly, according to Asiaweek, UP started out at number 22 on the list of top colleges in Southeast Asia (or is it Asia as a whole? I forget), but now it's down to number 78. Oh yeah, our prof is just one big walking ray of sunshine.
Unfinished business: Finals are on Thursday. A quick notebook browse should do the trick. Thank God our prof "respects our intelligence" enough so as not to ask us useless bullshit like John Locke's nationality, or the name of Plato's book, or the year that Macchiavelli was born etc.
Memories...
-As you can plainly see, I learned quite a bit. I don't know if that's what prof had in mind, but hey, works for me. Not bad for a really boring prof.
-Turns out our prof is quite famous. I only found that out after a month. Hey, go figure.
-We'll never, ever forget prof's blatant name-dropping habits. In discussing Aquinas, he must have mentioned UST at least four times. In looking at theologians from a purely philosophical standpoint, he mentions Catholic schools like La Salle, Ateneo and, of course, his favorite, UST. In our discussion on Filipinization, he calls UPIS grads illiterate, saying he regrets sending his kids there. He says most businesses are compelled to hire some idiot from Ateneo because UP graduates can't speak good English, which is the language of the workplace. He's kinda funny in a really morbid way. Hehe.
------------------------------
Philo 11

Everyday: Our prof comes in 30 minutes late. He is all sweaty, for some reason (rumor has it that it's because of his toilet breaks). He teaches, we listen. This class is about as exciting as white rice.
Mami-miss ko: Blockmates ko siguro. Tatlo kami dun sa klaseng iyon. Yung dalawang Chem Eng'g na guys sa likod namin, saka yung isang BS Stat na nakakausap ko minsan.
I have learned: Predicate Logic, Symbolic Logic, stuff like that. It's kinda fun.
Unfinished business: We still have to attend one more of his classes. The untimely delay on Monday made it so we couldn't discuss asyllogistic arguments during the regular course of the semester, so we need to brush up on that before our last exam. The exam is on the 14th as well, right before my Soc Sci 2 exam. Gotta brush up on that too. I need at least a 1.75 to get a 1.something grade, which I really need right now.
Memories...
-One time pumasok siya ng maaga. Nauna pa siya sakin, eh mga 10 minutes late lang ako nun. We were shocked!
-Turns out our prof is quite famous as well. Other philo profs warn their students not to take his classes. Why? Well for starters, he only calls girls to recite, then there is that rumored bathroom break of his... Gh... creepy.
-Pasky is taking his Philo 1 class. She tells me there was this one time that he really tried to keep his hand steady, but it just wouldn't stop shivering. Hmm...
------------------------------
Math 17

Everyday: Our really nice prof teaches, and we try to listen but some rude arrogant bastards always talk in really loud voices so it can get kinda difficult to hear what ma'am is saying.
Mami-miss ko: WALA!!! As in, wala. Maraming kupal sa block namin, and I don't mean that in a good way. I have to shift. Really, I do. I can't handle three-and-a-half more years with these smacktards. I'm not saying all of them are arrogant retards, but a lot of them are. Sige, gawa tayong isang exception kay Inna. Mami-miss ko siya! Grabeh! Hi Inna! Baka sakaling nababasa mo 'to! Hahahaha...
I have learned: Math in college is boring, but it's as easy as it's always been. I just need to be more careful next time, 'cause that Achilles' heel o' mine is killing me still.
Unfinished business: We have an exam tomorrow, and our finals are on the 9th. I gotta study. An uno in Math 17 will pull my GWA up quite a bit on account of it being worth 5 units. That's just a bit less than a third of my total academic load. GC na kung GC. Whatever. I will not be a math major. I refuse to teach math. The little idiots never learn anyway. Besides, pay's too low. ARGH! Basta, ayokong maging teacher kahit kailan! Isusumpa ko ang araw na napipilitan akong maging guro para mabuhay!!!
Memories...
-Ugh. Maybe I should leave this blank...
-Such a shame. Our prof's really nice, but like I said, how exciting do you think Math 17 can get? I do like it when she teaches us the formula derivations. Gee, my HS teachers never taught me "that." Sometimes she makes these totally corny jokes that I could laugh at in a mocking sorta way except it's still too early in the morning and my brain doesn't function as well as it should.
------------------------------
English 11

Everyday: Our prof has us read something, and we discuss it in class. Sometimes we have presentations like plays and stuff.
Mami-miss ko: Madami! I met a lot of people in this class. First my seatmates, and my groupmates in the play, especially this one female rocker and FEU fan who's told me like a million times to shift to CMC (more on that later). Then there were quite a few cute girls in this class, and there's one this one girl who I think is really pretty. I kinda wanted to know her better 'cause I felt like we would totally get along, but I never got the chance. Yeah she's in a relationship but that's seriously not what I'm after. Corny pero gusto ko friends lang talaga. She's out of my league anyway. Haay... regrets... Lastly, I'll miss our prof. She was the best prof I had this sem, not to mention one of the nicest and funniest.
I have learned: Stuff about love, poetry and analyzing literature. I know what blank verse is and how to differentiate that from free verse. I know what a Litote is. I know what an iambic pentameter is. I know what "vicarious" means. I know what "haughty" means. I got to work on my mad writing skills a bit. It was a really fun class and I might not have remembered everything that was taught but I believe I learned a good deal from it.
Unfinished business: Sadly, we're all done for the sem. Dammit! I wanted to see that girl again, maybe even talk to her just once...
Memories...
-During the first day, our prof looked really mataray. I thought to myself, "Oh boy, I picked a real winner with this 'un." Turns out that I did. I really did. She was really nice but she understood stuff like angsty tendencies. But, well, all we ever talked about was luuv. I admit I was incessantly rolling my eyes at it at first but then I came to appreciate it.
-Our play got us to be pretty close with some of the people in class. Like I said, there was this one girl who told me lots of times to shift to CMC. That was because, while discussing the play, I insinuated that maybe we should overact to add a little humor to it. Granted, Midsummer Night's Dream is a comedy, but Act 2 isn't that funny. Anyway, I showed them what it looked like. It was over-the-top silliness, and this girl couldn't stop laughing. That's why we had to act the roles as they were, because that girl could not have acted had we done otherwise. Well it turned out okay anyway, so no worries.
-I dunno when I started noticing her, but I couldn't stop looking. I so wanted to talk to her. I really did. The nearest thing to a conversation that we had was when she asked me if I already had a copy of that print-out that we needed to study for one of our exams, just because everyone else was getting a copy. I was hoping we could be in the same group for the play, but alas, it was not meant to be...
-Ang kulit kanina! Kasi last day na, may nagdala ng camera. Actually si prof nagdala rin, videocam pati, para makuhanan yung mga performers sa play. So yun, class picture kami, extra pics pa sa mga may cam. Nung labasan na, dun na nagkulitan! Sigaw ako (idea from my PE 2 classmate hehe) "Open forum open forum! O, sino crush niyo sa Eng 11?! Haay sige na nga! Meron bang may crush sakin ditoh?!??!!!" Magulo na noon kaya hindi rin naman ako masyadong napansin haha. Tapos paglabas ng classroom tambay lang kami dun, yung iba umalis na pero may mga natira pa rin na ayaw pang umalis. "Naghihintay ako ng magpapakain," sabi nung isang groupmate ko sa play. Kinakausap namin kahit yung mga hindi naman talaga namin kinakausap dati. Magugulat ka na lang, kilala ka pala nung tao. Tapos hingian pa kami ng e-mail add sa friendster pati ng yahoo id sa YM. May nagyayaya pa ng yahoo groups. Palitan pa ng cell number (though walang humingi nung sakin at wala akong nakuhang bago huhuhu). Pucha, para kaming high school! I jokingly told my female friend, "Don't worry, friends pa rin naman tayo eh! Magkikita pa tayo ha?!" Kodakan kami sa mismong corridor sa labas ng PH 138. Naharangan na namin yung daan pero hindi na talaga kami nahiya, basta go lang. Nung pauwi na suggestion ko sabay-sabay na lang kami kumuha ng classcard, sabi nila sige, text-text na lang. Nakakatawa! Ang saya ng last day namin sa Eng! But the funny thing is, we hardly even knew each other before that. I think we all just got so caught up in the moment, you know, that this is our last class in Eng for the sem and all that we all just kinda let loose. Goodness, it was a lotta fun though. And no, I still wasn't able to talk to her. I couldn't even say good-bye to her. Gah! Badtrrriiiiiiiiiippp!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------
So there. That's what I've been up to this sem, other than my lunches with Jam and Pasky. Next sem, here's how it's looking so far:

Mondays and Thursdays - Start at 10am with Math 20, stay at the Math Building for Math 63 up to 12:45pm, go to PH or CAL (not sure, I kinda forgot and I'm too lazy to check) for CW 10 at 1-2:30, then head to CHK for weight training from 3-4pm, and I'm done.
Tuesdays and Fridays - Start at 8:30am with Kas 1 at AS, have an hour-and-a-half to make it to MB for my Math 63 (and likely get a quick bite to eat), head to the Physics pav (or is it bio pav?) for my 1-2:30pm Physics class, and that's it.

I don't feel smarter. I feel nerdier. I've been more GC than ever. My social life is on life support. That's ok though I guess. This sem was not perfect, but it wasn't all that it could have been. Things should be better, dammit. But oh well. May next sem pa. As the saying goes, "Kailangang bumawi..."
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: You ever notice how TV commercials always involve conyotic kids whining to their equally conyotic parents? They're always like...
"Look mommy, lumalabas na yung sun!"
"Anak, you don't have to worry na. Now there's [insert product name]!"
"It's like, they told me 'oh how cute naman your daughter' and I go 'actually she's my granddughter' and they go 'Huwaaaatt?!?!!?!!!' and it never fails, they always give out a scream."
"Mommy, grabe ha, we're like so late na! I have to meet someone sa starbs pa! Make bilis nga to what you're making gawa!"

I wouldn't want my kids (or my nephew, and yes, the doctor is about 90-plus% sure that I'm gonna have a nephew) to talk like that. They can be good in English, like, "Greetings father. How was your day? Are you well? Would you like to rest?" or they can be good in Filipino, like, "Yo erpats musta na?! Ok ba araw mo tsong? Nangangayayat tayo ah! Kain naman dyan! Easy lang pare dude, baka ma-stroke!" Well okay, not like that. I'd have to hit the kid over the head with a newspaper and say "Woist! Umayos-ayos ka nga! Tantado kang bata ka!" if he started talking like that. Still, it beats conyotic kids. That just sounds wrong, dammit. I swear, if I ever caught my kids talking all conyotic I'd have to re-educate them. The hard way. But hey, they're probably going to be real smart kids. I'm sure they'll know that I'll be doing it all in the name of love... OR WILL I?! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!

Win or Go Home... or Just Go Home Now While It's Still Early

2004-09-24T16:40:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Ashanti - Foolish
-"Baby why you hurt me, leave me and desert me
Boy [girl in my case then ;p] I gave you all my heart and all you do is tear it up
Looking out my window, knowing that I should go
Even when I pack my bags this something always holds me back..."
-------------------------------
Ahh, September. The start of the "ber" months. The end of the UAAP season. The end of my first sem in UP Diliman. Oh, and the start of US elections or something I guess. Whatever.

Other than all that insignificant bullshit, September marks the beginning of a most important time of the year. It is the start of the string of secondary school press conferences. What's this all about, you ask? Well, basically, all these high school journalists from different schools compete in different categories such as feature writing, editorial writing, news writing, sports writing, lay-out and editorial cartooning (either in Filipino or in English for all stated categories). It starts with the district, then with the division, then with the regionals, and the best writers in one's region compete in the National Schools Press Conference. Then the winners are, well, they win. They're the best for that particular batch in their particular categories. Duh.

So, what then? What does all this mean? Three words: utter journalistic dominance. No wait, I don't think I said it right. Lemme try again. UTTER... JOURNALISTIC... DOMINANCE!!!!!

Basically, this is all I have to say: don't mess with DPS. Don't. It's futile. These kids will not just beat you. They will break you. They will obliterate you. They will wipe you from the face of the earth. They will devour you. So please, for your own sake, just give it up. Go home. You are wasting money. You are wasting time. So just stay home and read a book or study or something. I don't care. I'm just a nice guy who wants to give you all a little friendly advice. That is all.
------------------------------
Okay, so maybe that was a tad exaggerated... oh all right. It was. I'm not gonna go about guaranteeing complete journalistic dominance, because I know that isn't realistic. All I really wanna say is this: watch out for these kids from DPS, and that's not even because I'm gonna be helping them prep. I have faith in what they can do. Don't you dare underestimate them, because you will regret it. Now that I can guarantee.

And yes, no DPS school newspaper adviser, current or otherwise, will ever brag about these staffers' mad skills (they refer to this as "professional ethics"). I am no DPS school newspaper adviser, therefore I may brag about them as much as I want, and unless you are extremely dense, you will notice that that is exactly what I have just done. So there.

######################
As you can plainly see, I am psyched for the upcoming secondary schools press conferences. I can't wait to see what the peeps back at ol' DP came up with. Like I said, expect domination, even if only just a certain degree of it. Hahahahaha...
-------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day:
Math is fun!!! *retch* I will say this though: it's easy.
Continuation of alternames for Math subjects:
Math 11 - Math for intellectually deficient math majors, part 1
Math 14 - Math for intellectually deficient math majors, part 2

I have to think of something good for Math 17. It's only the freshie math subject after all. But oh well. Not right now. I'm too busy listening to Urbandub and Sponge Cola.

Hair-Brained Schemes

2004-09-20T18:39:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Sponge Cola - Lunes
-I forgot the words, but I'm seriously considering nabbing myself a Sponge Cola CD. I like this song, and I am pretty sure the other songs on the album are good as well.
-----------------------------
This day kinda sucked. It wasn't just that Pasky skipped lunch (for good reasons anyway), or that CRS was very tedious and annoying (much more so than the first time around), or even that I was still reeling in pain and agony from watching Rainier Castillo's "I Love You Babe" video from beginning to end (I survived Sandara Park's "In or Out," so I was pretty sure I had to live through this one sooner or later).

No no, dear friends, readers and true believers. Today was not the most palatable of days under my belt, which is ironic, since it was supposed to be just that. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me take you back... back... back...
-------------------------------
The day is Sunday. I was walking down Panay Avenue (which happened to be undergoing some heavy construction work mind you) when I got a text from this girl. Now, we weren't at all that close, this girl and I. She was my friend's cousin's friend, and she went clubbing with us once, almost a year ago. She got my cell number from my friend somehow, and she texted and miscalled me about twice each exactly since we met.

So you can only imagine how surprised I was to see her ring me up for no apparent reason. Surprisingly, she asked for my landline. She said it was important so naturally, I gave it to her. I waited a bit when I got home, and then my phone rang. It was her, of course (though for a while I suspected it could have been another moron trying to contact ABS-CBN). She asked where I was studying right now, and I, rather discreetly I might add, replied "UP." "Ows? Talaga? Kapit-bahay lang pala tayo eh!" she said. She asked if I could meet up with her the next day when my classes were over, and I agreed. We would meet at Starbucks Katips at around 4 (with some other people there as well, mind you, like a couple of my friends who went clubbing with us).

However, there was a problem. I had forgotten what this girl looked like. Now, given the context of the situation, I'm sure that is perfectly understandable. The place where we met was dark, the music was pretty loud, and I was introduced to about 15 girls, all my friend's cousin's friends. Besides, it's not like I had enough time to let my encounter with them sink in, much less get all their names right.

Well anyway, I figured it'd be fine. After all, my friends would be there. No problem. I'm gonna take a UP-Katipunan jeep right after Philo 11, look for my friends, and stay there 'til it's go home time for all of us. Good plan!

Oh, except for one thing: plans never do turn out as one would expect.

The first drawback that crossed my mind were my clothes. I'm gonna be chilling in Katipunan, which is in Loyola Heights, which just happens to be the conio capital of QC. So why in my right mind did I opt to wear my thrasher duds today? Well, they weren't hardcore thrasher duds really. The cuffs of my pants were ripped (because they were too long, so I cut them, and yes, I thought it'd look kinda cool) and I was wearing this black shirt. UP's criteria for proper attire have all been, to my knowledge, not applicable, but in the case of an afternoon in Loyola Heights, I must admit I became a tad conscious. For some reason, I couldn't drown out the thought of some arrogant Atenistas mocking me for my average person attire. I knew it was wrong, but the "urban legends" affected me rather heavily at that point in time. But then, I figured that I would just ignore other people. I promised my friend that I would go, so regardless of all else, I would go.

Another thing is the fact that I got there rather early. I usually try to be early for my appointments, but I did not like the idea of hanging out at a coffee shop by myself while trying to live down the piercing stares of the other customers. I had intended for my arrival to be a little later than the said time. Alas, I underestimated the speed at which a jeepney could take me to Katipunan with very light traffic at that. It was exactly 3:30 pm on my watch then, which was the given meeting time. However, I assumed that my friends would not be there until around 4pm, so I must admit I started panicking a bit. Luckily, the girl texted me right as I was about to text her, telling me she was at a certain restaurant, which was, by chance, not far away from where I was standing. I walked over to the place and looked around. I couldn't help but feel a bit lost, as I was in a relatively unfamiliar strip of road looking for a girl, the appearance of whom I could not recall if my life depended on it. It's a good thing my friend's cousin, whom I remember well, was with her at the time. I sat down and was chatting with them in no time.

Although, I must admit, chatting is a relative term. They asked me some stuff about UP, I asked some stuff about Miriam, I flashed my arrogant side a little, and then nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just complete, utter, awkward silence. A guy friend of theirs came by a little while later, and the three of them talked a bit. My friend's cousin and their guy friend stepped out to buy something, which left me alone with the girl.

"You okay?" she asked. People that I don't really know that well always ask me that eventually, on account of how quiet I can get. Sheesh, as if it's my fault that I have nothing to say to them. It's not as if I know enough about them to do so. I wouldn't know where to begin, so why bother? I'm just gonna shut up and be totally fine. "Yeah... hehe. Don't mind me, ganyan lang talaga ko," I said. She had to find out sometime that I'm just a sociopathic little geek I suppose.

"I think I should tell you where we're going," she said. Now this caught my attention. This whole thing seemed so ridiculous to me. My mind played with the many different scenarios but could never settle on a logical one. I was curious. I would have killed to find out. I was more attentive at that one moment than I had ever been for quite a long time. I was hanging on the very next word she'd say.

"We're going to this seminar thing," she said. What? A seminar? On what? Birth control or something? Well I thought it was educational at first, which, of course, caused my inner voice to yell "Lame!" But then, for the sake of hanging out, I guess I could sit through something like that. For a while I was completely distracted by my thoughts; that is, until I heard her say, "...I make about 10,000 a week. This thing starts on the 22nd but I should really have all my friends sign up before that, because the earlier you sign up, the more you'll make."

Oh, all right... excuse me, what? What the--?! You mean to tell me you made me wait for an hour at the sunken garden to get my timing right, get on a jeep to Katipunan, soil my good yet non-existent reputation by showing up in not-so-perfect clothes, sit here and shut up while worrying about my CRS and miss out on some YM conversations just so you can try and con me??!?

Unbelievable. I was stunned. Sure I didn't know her that well but I never figured her for the type. "Ehehehe... We'll see... sige lang, go lang," I said, trying my best to act civil. "Hindi ka naman galit niyan? Parang no reaction ka ata..." she asked. Galit? Not really. Just sinking way, way below my chair. I didn't know how to feel, much less what to say to that. "Of course not! Why would I be?" was all I could manage. "Promise?" she asked, and I gestured towards the affirmative. I thought I'd just wait for my friends, make an excuse and run like hell, but I swear, I was so out of there.

A little while later she told me, "I'm really hoping you'll invest in this..." That was it. I couldn't keep up that charade any longer. I looked her in the eyes and said, "Listen, to tell you the truth, I'm really not interested. It's just, well, I don't know really. I just don't want to I guess. Yeah, let's leave it at that. I can still go with you guys, but I'm telling you, don't count on me shelling out any cash." She looked a tad disappointed. What can I say? Do you think I enjoyed telling her? Of course not. I hate rejecting other people. But I had no choice. Besides, it's better to be honest than to lead her on with some false hopes. "You know, you don't have to go if you don't want to," she told me. I didn't hesitate. I pounced on the opportunity like a leopard on its prey. "Yeah, maybe I should. I have to pre-enlist. You know, CRS and all," I said. I bid them farewell, crossed the overpass, tried to find a jeep for a while, realized it was futile and got in a cab.

After a few minutes, a friend of mine texted me and asked why I left. "Sorry dude, I have to pre-enlist. CRS and stuff. You understand," I replied. Yeah, sure, blame the CRS. They probably figure it's some long process involving lots of lines, paper and pens. Well it will eventually (during enrollment and enlistment), but not just yet.

There was a time in my life when I would have fallen for that. I would have given up exorbitant amounts of cash just to acquire a piece of cardboard with a pokemon on it and some numbers and stats. All of these transactions came through the hands of a friend, my best friend at the time, in fact. It was fun at first. I may have spent a lot, but I had friends, and hey, you can't buy those, right?

Right?
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day:
Today's YM status messages:
-"CRS is a bitch. lines are a bitch. UP is a bitch."
='Nuff said.

-"iya villania i :x j00! =P~"
=:x is the in love emoticon, while =P~ is the drooling emoticon. Dammit, I am addicted to this girl. I remember channel surfing and going past myx, then stopping. "Uy si Iya!" I'd think to myself. Yes, she has flaws. I guess. Whatever. I think I'm allowed at least a couple of irrational obssessions in this life, so let this be one. And oh, by the way, I liked her even when she was just a GJ on that pathetic little Gamechannel. So there. You're the poser. Hahaha.

Oh, and also, I recall I had the same obssession with Michi before, who used to be a myx VJ... hmm... I wonder why I never got obssessed with Heart. Heh. Prolly 'cause I respect Iya and Michi's intellects to a certain degree. I mean, Iya studies in La Salle, which is among the top three colleges in the Philippines (Irwin once saw her eating cup noodles and totally non-conio stuff, which means she's less likely to be an annoying priss bitch), and Michi sounds intelligent enough. Now Heart, on the other hand...

Let's not get into that for now. That is best reserved for another post entirely.

Show Some Love for the Unibersidad

2004-09-13T19:45:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Usher - Nice and Slow
-...I dunno the words. Hanapin niyo na lang sa google.
----------------------------
May nag e-mail sakin nito: (Babala: kung ayaw niyo ng mga friendster-type sap stories, i-skip niyo na lang ang bahaging ito na hatid sa inyo ng Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office. Ha?!)

THE LAST CD
There was once a guy who suffered from cancer...a cancer that can't be treated. He was 18 yearsold and he could die anytime. All his life, he was stuck in his house being cared for by his mother.He never went outside but he was sick of staying home and wanted to go out for once. So heasked his mother and she gave him permission. He walked down his block and found a lot of stores. He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked. He stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a young girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight. He opened the door and walked in, not looking at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the frontdesk she sat. She looked up and asked "Can I help you?" She smiled and he thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her right there. He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to buy a CD." He picked one out and gave her money for it. "Would you like me to wrapit for you?" she asked, smiling her cute smile again. He nodded and she went to the back. She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on, he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask her out and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His mother found out about this and told him to just ask her. So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out... Then soon after that !!!!RRRRRING!!!! The mother picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and said, "You don't know? He Passed away yesterday..."The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother. Later in the day. The mother went into the boy's room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one. Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it. It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn. The mother opened another CD... Again there was a piece of paper. It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn till.....The Last CD....

DA MORAL OF THE LESSON:
ANG MGA TORPENG BABAE........ NAMAMATAYAN!
AT ANG MGA TORPENG LALAKE........ NAMAMATAY!!!

Hala, lagot... O, walang magre-reak ha?
------------------------------
Tama. Hanggang alas nuebe lang ako dito. Tatapusin ko lang tong tina-type ko. Syempre naka-online ako sa YM. Badtrip, nagloloko YM ko! Yung mga naka-online hindi pinapakita, yung mga naka-I'm on SMS pinapakitang online. Grrr... sana lang maayos na ang lahat.

Pero kalimutan na natin yun. Alas nuebe dc na ko. Aakyat ako at magbabasa. Kailangan kong tapusin yung The Pearl ni John Steinbeck. Kailangan kong pag-aralan ang mga linya ni Oberon sa A Midsummer Night's Dream ni William Shakespeare (Act 2 lang naman, salamat sa Diyos). Kailangan alas onze natutulog na ko. Kahapon kasi, alas dos na ng madaling araw ako natulog dahil sa mga files ng yearbook na kailangang tapusin. Kailangan bumawi ako sa tulog.

Umuwi pamandin ako ng pagod noon. Pano ba naman, naligaw ako sa Araneta. Yung mga kasama ko kasi mga alas nuebe na ng gabi nagsi-alisan eh. Pucha, muntik pa kong maiwan ng MRT! Anlayo ng nilakad ko. Tapos, pagdating ng Glorietta, naglakad pa ko. Pagdating ko sa bahay ang sakit sakit na ng paa ko. Pero ayos lang, masaya naman eh. Kahit lahat ng kasama ko ay iniwan akong mag-isa sa side ng UP para umupo sila sa side ng La Salle, ok lang. Proud akong sabihin na mataas ang lebel ng aking school spirit noong araw na iyon (aba'y hanggang ngayon nga ay full support UP mode pa rin ako eh). Sa Taft pa nga lang eh di ko na maalis ang drumbeats ng Maroons sa isip ko, pati na rin ang mga salitang "Let's go UP!" Hahahahahaaaa!!!!!

Oo, pangalawa lang ang UP. Pero ok lang yun. Hindi na masama ang makatapos ng pangalawa sa isang kompetisyon. Hindi talaga. Maraming mamimintas na "O, ba't di mo pa piners pleys?" pero bahala sila. Palibhasa kahit lumapit man sa pangalawa di nila kayang abutin eh. At alam ba nila ang dahilan kung bakit ka pangalawa? Aba, eh may nakalimutan ka lang namang isang importanteng detalye...

Ha? Ano?! A oo! Haha. Yung compet. Astig yung "UP" formation. Aliw. Pero sa totoo lang, maganda rin yung ginawa ng UST. Astig yung ginawa nilang parang music box na umiikot. Alam ko, simple lang, pero ang ganda ng dating sakin eh. Palibhasa isa akong semi-fan ng classical music.
----------------------------
Naiinis ako. Ang baba ng nakuha kong grade sa fourth exam namin sa Math 17. 83%. Siguro mga 2.25, 2.5 o 2.75 lang yun. Bullsyet. Nakakainis. Nasira yung uno average ko sa mga exam. Buti na lang drop the lowest kami. Ibig-sabihin, sa limang exam namin, yung apat na pinakamataas na grade lamang ang kukunin. Ayos! Dapat lang pagbutihin ko sa fifth exam namin, at sa finals din. Malamang noh, departamental lang naman po yan. Saka kailangan kong bumawi sapagkat mababa ang natanggap kong marka sa mid-terms ko. 87% lang ata. Grrr... Sa susunod, mag-aaral na ko! Tama na ang Game Boy! Itigil muna ang panonood ng SCQ Reload! Kailangan kong pagbutihin ang fifth exam namin!

Take note, hindi ako GC. At kailan mo nga ba ako nakitang pinag-uusapan ang grades ko, aber? Madalang diba? Kalimitan nga'y wala na kong pakialam. Bahala na si Lord. Pero ngayon, naisip ko, sayang lang kasi. Nariyan ang pagkakataong maka-uno sa Math 17, at kapag pinalampas ko lamang ito, sayang talaga. Nangangailangan pa naman ako ng 1.75 GWA para medyo sigurado naman ang aking pag-shift sa BAA. Mataas ang hatak ng Math 17 dahil 5 units ito. Maka-uno lang ako dito, aba'y kahit gagu-gaguhin ko pa ang iba kong subject ay makakamit ko pa rin ang minimum na 1.75 GWA.

Ngunit, alam kong hindi rin naman tamang umasa sa Math 17 lang. Aba, hindi 'to mathematician "lang"! Well-rounded 'to boy! Ikahihiya ko ng husto kung hindi ako makakuha ng markang mas mataas sa 2.0 sa aking mga written communication skills na subjects. Writer ata 'to!

Eh, teka. Hmm. Sige, para safe, sabihin na lang natin na ako'y isang nagfee-feeling writer. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako writer material. Ayan, wag na nating pag-debatehan. Pakiramdam ko'y mas nababagay akong maging mayaman. Oo, masaya sana ang buhay kolumnista: sa bahay lang, internet lang, e-mail ng kolumn bawat linggo, kain lang ng de lata at instant noodles, kung pagpalain at may pera ay pa-deliver. Gusto ko sana yung ganung buhay. Pero, sa katotohanan, ang layo ng course ko. Higit pa riyan, mas magaling talaga ako sa math, kaya dapat ito ang sinasanay ko. Saka mas marami kasing magagaling na manunulat kaysa sakin; eh di sila na lang ang maging kolumnista. Diba?

Pero hindi ko rin naman gaanong kailangan ang writing skills ko ngayong semestre na ito eh. Sa katunayan, dalawang subject lamang ang nangangailangan nito: Eng 11 at Soc Sci 2. Eh yan namang Soc Sci 2, pambihira yang subject na yan! Ang grade namin sa mid-term lang ata manggagaling, at ipinakuha pa sa amin eh isang buwan na lang ang natitira sa semestre! Tapos, ang malala pa niyan, sa dinami-daming mga teorya ukol sa pulitikang pinag-aralan naman, tatlo lang yung lumabas. Buti na lang binasa ko ang notes ko, pero malas na lang yung mga prendly prends ko sa klase, dahil ang dami daw nilang maling naisulat.

Yung prof namin dito ganun pa rin, boring magturo. Ako'y kalimitang nababagot sa klase niya, pero gusto ko kapag nagkukuwento siya tungkol sa gobyerno o sa mga iba't-ibang unibersidad sa Pilipinas (kadalasan UP, pero hindi lang yan; hindi kumpleto ang isang lecture niya ng hindi niya nababanggit ang UST). Ang prof namin na 'to, he's got balls. Lantaran niyang sinasabi at ipinapaliwanag ang mga problema sa gobyerno at sa sistema ng edukasyon sa UP, pero laging malinaw ang pagpapaliwanag niya at walang bahid ng emosyon. Nakakatawa yung mga simpleng banat niya tungkol sa UPIS, kay Angelo dela Cruz at iba pa. Nung huling klase namin, bukam-bibig niya ang "Mariano Marcos." Minsan, pag ginanahan, mga limang beses niyang mas-special mention ang UST.

Basta. Panigurado aabot ako ng at least 2.25. Maniwala kayo. Maganda ang kutob ko.
-----------------------------
Ayan, malapit na mag alas nuebe. Kailangan ko nang magbasa. Mag-aral. Matuto. Kasi, leche, wala naman akong ibang magagawa eh. Sige, pwede na yan. Tara, let's learn something nga. Trip lang!!!!

Chorvalence!
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I was set on shifting to BAA before, but now, I'm not that sure anymore. I got myself acquainted with my surroundings a little better, and I must admit that I like what I see. It's not the people, food, curriculum, how they take care of us or whatever. The College of Science is just plain cool. I mean, where else do people synthesize their own shabu during spare lab time? Where else can we find ways to make clones or try to revive the dead? Who else would be crazy enough to even attempt anything regarding nuclear physics? And dammit, where else in the Philippines can we fire our own laser gun?! Yes, thanks to the one and only Institute of Physics in the Philippines, students of the UP Diliman's College of Science can have access to a laser gun (or at the very least its components) that can, presumably, cause the polar ice caps to melt, make the hole in the ozone layer larger, draw in the moon closer to the earth causing violent and erratic changes in our tides, and just flat out rip a precision hole right through its path and cut everything and everybody down onto the ground! Yeah!!! Lasers rule!!!! Oh, and besides, only CS students have telekinetic abilities. We can move things with our minds!!!!! Bow down before us ye mortals!!!!! AHAHAAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!

A Post About Luuuv... Sortov.

2004-09-06T15:39:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Lacuna Coil - Swamped
-"It's just another day
The shame is gone
It's hard to believe
That I've let it go away
It's just a melody
It bleeds in me
Hard to believe
That I've let it go"
------------------------------
"Parang... uhm... hindi ko mapaliwanag eh! Pag nakikita ko siya parang tumitigil lahat ng bagay sa paligid ko. Para akong binaril sa puso, or para akong nahulog sa rollercoaster... a basta! Hindi ko talaga ma-explain!"

I just sat there and smiled at her. I didn't need any explanations. I knew exactly what she meant and understood exactly what she was talking about. I used to feel that way. Time used to stop whenever she'd walk by. I would relish any opportunity to be with her.

It was kinda stupid, really. Yeah I liked her but not in a hardcore kinda way. I never lost sleep over her. She never caused me pain. It was just, I dunno. I think it was her smile that did it. She was really cute that way, with braces and all.

Still, it was really weird to hear her say stuff like that. It was quite a peculiar sensation to hear someone that you used to have a thing for suddenly describing the torment of the rollercoaster ride that is her new-found, one-sided, unreciprocated love. It was neither negative nor positive, it was just what it was. It was, well, weird.

(non-fiction. semi-exaggerated.)
------------------------------
I'm back to playing RO again. I'm not hardcore or anything, I only play casually, which is to say, on weekends. I have a battleforger, a conventional assassin and a confused knight that i'm probably spearing (though he has 10 lvls of sword mastery ;_;). I figured that I could use a "keso" side.

Now, I don't mean that in any derogatory fashion. A keso side is just what we have that makes us human. Yes people, I'm a human being. Prick me, I will bleed. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way to me, but hey, that's what I am. Besides, I like smashing things... heeheeheeheehee...

Oh, and while we're on the subject, I'm back to playing Kings of Chaos as well. I'm still pretty low ranking, but I'm getting there. Slow and steady...
-------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day:

Let's get shallow for a bit, shall we?

Something bugs me about UP. The sem is almost over and I've yet to spot a perfect 10. Sure, there are a couple of 8s, lots of 7s and many sub-5s, but no 10s at all. And you know what I mean; there's not some wussy factor like "personality" in the mix, just what your eyes see. My eyes need to be happy, dammit! I know, DPS wasn't much better; we were lucky to have borderline 9s. But, shit, my friends who're in La Salle and Ateneo have seen so many perfect 10s they're already desensitized to it! ARGH!!! I want!!!!!!! :(

While we're on the subject, I have to mention something. My friend Maltaj is getting really pissed now. Every night she gets texted by five different guys who want to be her friend. Now, granted, she is kinda pretty, but she's not anything past the low 9s on a good day; on a bad day she can plummet all the way down to the high 6s. Anyway, she's seriously considering a change of sim now, and she doesn't even laugh anymore when we mention her title: "Ang Diyosa ng Kagandahan sa Morayta." ^__^

Journ Teacher Po Ako

2004-09-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

Well, I was gonna wait til next week, but due to insistent public demand (yes, just that one guy again) I thought I'd release it now.

Many thanks to Tristan Cafe not only for the lyrics but for their kewl mp3 stream as well.
------------------------------
Journ Teacher Po Ako (Babae Po Ako)

Journa... journa... journaloo... naloo... naloo...
Journa... journa... journaloo... naloo... naloo...
Journa... journa... journaloo... naloo... naloo...
Journa... journa... journaloo... naloo... naloo...

Teka, san yung teacher dyan?

Journ teacher po ako
Ang lesson ko ay paggawa ng dyaryo
Journ teacher po ako
Hindi ako stude
Ako'y nagbibigay ng grade na very good
Journ teacher po ako
'Pag napapangiti, tingin mo lang ako'y bata
Porke ba ako ay wala pa sa trenta
Journ teacher po ako... no no no
Journ teacher po ako!!!

'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
Nalilinlang ka lang saking pag-ngiti
Journ teacher po ako! (Yeah right you wish!)
'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
Journ teacher po ako, wish ko lang para
Sila'y may natututunan

Teka, sigurado ka bang teacher ka?

Journ teacher po ako
Trip mo ba'y mag-discussion pa ako
Journ teacher po ako
Ang forte ko'y news
At hindi ako naging libelous
Kahit pa sa anong period
Ang advisory ko
Joaquin ang ngalan ng section
Dito di ako ganong nirerespeto
Pero journ teacher po ako (sure na sure ako)
Journ teacher po ako!!!

'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
Nalilinlang ka lang saking pag-ngiti
Journ teacher po ako! (Yeah right you wish!)
'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
'Di ako Cla cla... Cla cla cla cla cla!
Journ teacher po ako, wish ko lang para
Sila'y may natututunan

Journa... journa... journaloo... naloo... naloo...
Journa... journa... journaloo... naloo... naloo...
------------------------------
And I'm signing off. Be sure to check the other songs I've mutilated right down there, during my previous post, in which I used my mad necromancer skills to revive some stuff from my old blog and put it here. This is DJ AyrnMaydn... uhm... forget it.

Live, damn you, live!!!

2004-09-02T21:08:00.000+08:00

*This post is about music. Retarded music. I just moved it from my old blog due to popular demand (i.e. one guy asked me to do this O_o)*

------------------------------
Can't Add (Can't Stop)

Can't add I’m learning mathematics
Ma’am Cho says it all in statistics
Choose not a life of limitation
Work hard and you’ll soon solve the equation
Defunct the system that you’re learning
This punk can’t count the cash you’re earning
In time I want to be a math man
Keeping my tests far away from the trash can
Knocked out but boy you better come to
Obtain the answer it’s so hard to
Go write your problem on the pavement
Solve it so fast you wonder what the r meant
White heat is screaming into my mind
I’m beat, the value I cannot find
Can’t ask the teacher for an answer
If I do, I might end up a dancer

[Chorus]
The tests I’ve had have been so bad
My problem is that I can’t add
How’d I ever get into high school?
I’ve been so mad I punched my pad
And yet right now I still can’t add
Let me just admit I’m a fool

Sweetheart is getting ashamed of me
So smart she sold me a jellopy
Ten million zennies to unearth it
Since I can’t add, I don’t know if it’s worth it
I should just work on concentrating
I’m having a hard time debating
Just what the hell is a relation?
Isn’t that just the same as mastication?
Ma’am Chiong is teaching Calculus still
I don’t know what and I never will
My mind is messed up at the junction
How can we draw when we must use a function?
Can't add so tell me what else is new
Please just let me cheat the whole way through
So foreign is trigonometry
Also foreign is that geometry

*repeat chorus*

Wait a minute I'm failing my Calculus just like you
I keep forgetting all the things I ever knew
How about you
10 more reasons why I need to study anew just like you
I keep forgetting all the things I ever knew
Right on cue

Can't add I’m learning mathematics
Ma’am Cho says it all in statistics
Choose not a life of limitation
Work hard and you’ll soon solve the equation
Defunct the system that you’re learning
This punk can’t count the cash you’re earning
In time I want to be a math man
Keeping my tests far away from the trash can
Knocked out but boy you better come to
Obtain the answer it’s so hard to
Go write your problem on the pavement
Solve it so fast you wonder what the r meant

Kick starts the teacher’s generator
Sweet-talk to get her in your favor
Can't add the stats for engineering
Feel no need for anybody’s cheering
Your theory in encyclopedia
Gets so critiqued by all the media
I can’t understand a single one of those
I am just a moron who’s holding a water hose
Can't add the numbers if I tried to
Fourth year will have to be a times two
-----------------------------
*And for all you DPSers out there...*

The Physics Show (The Yes Yes Show)

*Skip ahead to the battling*
*fyi to non-DPSers out there, the second teacher, Aly, has the heaviest Visayan accent that any of us have ever heard. Not that this is a problem or anything (certainly not for me; I really didn't care). Just keep this in mind when trying to play the song in your head. Heeheehee...*

Raya: Ehem...
My name is Raya, and I am neat
I love pretty boys and I love to eat
I made this test from my mind
And I am very very kind
I like to ride fast in jeepney cars
And dudes dig me like chocolate bars
They say I'm bad, but I am great
So listen while I educate

Aly: Ma'am ano ba problema mo ayusin mo naman
Hirapan mo naman ang test mo at wag ka na ngang mangatwiran
Ano bang inaatupag mo sa bago mong department
Sampong taon ka nang guro wala ka pa rin bang talent?

Raya: Ma'am ano bang sinasabi mo?
Mali ang sinasabi mo
Magaling ako magpa-test
Alam mo ba yung Physics 4?

Aly: Kung sa bagay, mahirap nga ang test ng Pesiks 4
Gamit ang ngalan ng F4
Pinababa mo lahat ng mga score

Raya: 'Di ba? Kahit ika'y nagparamdam
Alam nating mas okey nung akong nagpa-exam

Aly: Ma'am naman, please lang wag ka nang magyabang
At alam mo naman na reserba ka lang
At ilan na ba ang talagang nagawa mong exam?
Ilan? Wala!

Raya: Eh ano ngayon?

Klase: Alam naman nating lahat
Na si Katuray talaga dapat
Ang guro natin sa Physics 4
Diyan sa Diliman Prep School

Aly: Teka lang one minute
Pwede bang pakiulit
Maaring may lamang ka sa paligo, subalit
Baket mo naman nasabi na ikaw ang nararapat
Eh ni isang exam man lang wala kang naisulat?

Raya: Eh, ba't yung ibang titser naman kahit di siya kumurap
Ang pinapa-test nilang exam ay sobra na sa hirap
Tulad ko't ni Savellano at saka ni Ma'am Soriano
Na walang exam ang mas hihirap pa kahit kanino

Aly: A basta, tahimik, kayo ha, titser
Kung ayaw mong ipitin ka sa Vernier Caliper
Baka makatikim ka ng Projectile Trajectory
Na may hatak ng gravity
At merong electricity

Raya: Talaga? Hindi nga? Tatawa na ko kaya?
Hindi porke't Bisaya ka'y kaya mo na si Raya
Wag kang mag-aangas sa Little Miss ng Pinas
Kami yung mga tipo na hindi umaatras

Edison: Sandali lang, wag muna itong ipasa
Bago ito isama
Ba't 'di niyo muna binabasa
Ang inyong mga nobela?
Mamaya na magpaka-astig
Basahin ang "Maganda pa ang Daigdig"
Kung ayaw niyong mangyari ang nangyari sa iba
Matuto kayo kung paano magpakatanga

Aly: 'Wag nating kalimutan na wala kong magawa

Klase: Alam naman nating lahat
Na mahal namin ang isa't-isa
Walang iwanan dyan sa Diliman
Dyan sa Diliman Preppy
School...
School...

Aly: 'Di ko alam kung pano tatapusin ang kanta
Kaya tumigil ka na lang sa 'yong pagbabasa
------------------------------
Look out for my next joint... uhm, project I mean: Journ Teacher po ako.
Here's a tiny preview:

'Di ako cla cla! Cla cla cla cla cla!
'Di ako cla cla! Cla cla cla cla cla!
Nalilinlang ka lang saking pag-ngiti
Journ teacher po akooo...

We'll see how it all develops in time. Now I must hide from my Fourth Year teachers, who are seriously considering withdrawing my diploma. Well, either that or having me "capped." Whatever.

In Preparation for CW10

2004-08-28T08:41:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Leah Navarro - Ang Pag-ibig kong ito
-"Mga araw na nagdaan
Kailanma'y hindi malilimutan
Kay tamis na raw ng pagmamahalan
Ang akala ko'y walang hangganan
Ang pag-ibig kong ito
Luha ang tanging nakamit buhat sayo
Kaya't sa maykapal tuwina'y dalangin ko
Sana'y...
Kapalaran ko ay magbago"
-Malungkot pala ang kwento ng kantang ito. Ayon sa aking sources, ang songer (o writer ba? 'Di ko matandaan) daw ng kantang ito ay iniwan ni Matt Ranillo. Ang babae ay na-despair at hindi na nakapag-asawa.
-Wala lang. Malungkot. Mahilig ako sa malungkot... Hahahahaha...
------------------------------
Ode to Berserk Manic Evil Robots

DESTROY!!! DESTROY!!!
------------------------------
A Love Story. Friendster-style.

There was a guy who realy luvd a girl but then the girl loved somoene else he was okay with it for a while but then he fuond out that the guy that the girl liked had become her boyfriend so the guy got a chiansaw and killed everybody and then he shot himslef cuz he had a gum but he didnt want to waste the bulltes. pass this mesage on to all ur fiends or you will be shot! Then yuo will be hacked off by a chiansaw
------------------------------
Don't Touch My Carbine

^SyOrTkEyK^ killed Jump!n6_(@m0+3 with a headshot
^SyOrTkEyK^: j00 607 pweened!
^SyOrTkEyK^ killed bano ako with a m4a1
^SyOrTkEyK^: n00b!
^SyOrTkEyK^ killed ==0000==D~ with a m4a1
^SyOrTkEyK^: ph34r meh lololololololol!!!
[arki]DR>QUACKQUACK[arki] killed ^SyOrTkEyK^ with a deagle
^SyOrTkEyK^: damn silencer!!!
------------------------------
The Answer to All Questions

So I asked the rain
Three point one four one five nine
I want pineapples
------------------------------
(at, en frefareysyon por mahlikhaing fagzuzulath)
Bored ka na ba?

Gusto ko...
Ako'y umaasa na...
Hinde.
Hindi ito makatotohanan.
Ngunit...
Umaasa pa rin...
Baka sakali...
'Wag na kasi!!!
Bisyo na 'to!!!
Pero sige.
Hindi ko na mapipigilan ang aking sarili.
O kung pwede lang sana...
Sana...
Sana sagasaan ako ng Toki.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: Hey, Tweed is like, a place in New Zealand or something, right? Well, I've kinda been using it as an insult in my head. It's like something you'd scream at a snatcher boy when he grabs your stuff. "Come back here ya little tweed!" It's like tool, geek, dweeb and nerd all rolled into one! Plus I like how it rolls off the tongue. So, hey, if it's getting offensive (though that's pretty hard to imagine), sorry. I'm a tweed. >:)

I Live. Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

2004-08-24T16:31:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Trapt - Lost in a Portrait
-"I see I’m not perfect
But that’s all I see
Lost in a portrait
In a picture of me
This can’t be everything I see
That my canvas is incomplete
Your color’s everything to me
And my canvas will set me free"
-----------------------------
Our phone line's been down for about a week now. Wait, think of that a sec. No internet. No connection to the outside world! (i.e. let's just assume the outside world was composed completely of bloggers) How uncool!

The phone guys must really love us. I suppose it isn't enough that some morons, who want to make some heated comments on certain rousing and highly relvant issues such as Star Cinema, call here daily thinking our number is that of ABS-CBN's morning show "Magandang Umaga Bayan." Oh sure, we were polite at first. "No, sorry, hindi po ito MUB..." In time, however, I started replying in much colder tones. "Hindi po! Residential po ito!" *baba ng malakas sa receiver*

Anyway, the phone line's fixed now, and that's what counts. Time to dial random numbers and invite complete strangers to be my phone pals.
------------------------------
Hey, does anybody know what "bold" movies are out right now? No, I have no intention of watching, but I can't figure out what's out right now. It's weird, not having any pinoy softcore porn that's "patok sa takilya" right now. I think that bold star-politician-escort thing has something to do with it. Well, that's what my friend said, anyway.

I haven't watched the news for some time now. Usually I pretend to watch it, but I really just like keeping the TV on for a while after watching SCQ Reloaded. I like to stare at all the pretty colors of bloody corpses and bullet-ridden vans while I contemplate Sandara Park and Hero Angeles, and that marvelous heaven-sent screenwriter prodigy who came up with such memorable lines as, "Ito type A. Ito type B. Ito type AB. Eh ako Joross, type mo ba 'ko?" Genius! Absolute genius!
------------------------------
Another season of Yu-Gi-Oh! is starting in a few weeks. Coincidentally, my first sem at UP Diliman is ending in about five weeks. Hah. How strange. I don't feel any smarter. I don't think I learned too much at all. Honestly, I don't feel like a bona fide UP student. Everyone is always talking about Kas 1 reports, Nat Sci exams, field trips, papers, mid-terms, finals, required plays and forums, and I'm always like...

"...what?"

It's not even that the stuff I do is that easy, 'cause when I think about it, some of my subjects are a bit difficult. It's more like my profs don't really need me to watch this or do that. On one hand, it's kinda cool; my life doesn't *have* to revolve around school and I have time to play video games, watch TV, work on my ball control and listen to lots and lots of rock. On the other hand, I can't help but feel like I'm getting gypped. If things are too easy, does that mean I'm still learning as much as everyone else?

I find it hard to accept that I can pick up all the knowledge I require without having it drilled forcefully into my skull. Yes, it's rather flattering to believe that I have semi-photographic memory, that I pick things up quicker than your average college stude. But then, am I just fooling myself? Am I just making excuses for my own laziness and inadequacies? It's true what they say; in the long run, I'm only depriving myself of certain opportunities. I don't want that to happen. I go to school to learn, and dammit, I hope that's what I'm doing. ('cause really, how does anyone know for sure that she or he is gaining anything beneficial from the things that they do?)
------------------------------
One more thing: kudos to the UP Fighting Maroons. Yes, they have earned my respect, even if I still refuse to admit that in public. (I still call them the Fighting Morons when I'm amongst friends) They actually have a chance to make it. It's a slim chance, but it's a chance nonetheless.

You believe in miracles? Yeah, well, don't get your feelings hurt, 'kay?

Oh yeah, the DLSU/ADMU game was teh cool. I wanna go to as many games as I can. It's fun really, even if I'm neither a La Sallian or an Atenista. It's electric, very exhilirating stuff. Next time I'ma stay at the ADMU side, which I hope will be a common trend from that point on. I just feel like I've been too immersed in La Sallian pop culture, and I think I should be fair to our neighbors along Katipunan Avenue. (did I mention UP Diliman's Department of Mathematics is just a hop, skip and a jump away from the Ateneo?) Besides, I'm a Blue Eagle fan. So sue me. It's too damn bad they lost. Pretty boy Chris Tiu killed the momentum with that missed lay-up after the LA Tenorio steal early in the fourth. Had he made it, I seriously think ADMU could have emerged victorious. Oh well, there's always the final four...

And by the way, do you seriously expect me to believe Mac-Mac Cardona used to sell cigarettes on the streets? Look, I'll buy the story that he used to be a JRU Heavy Bomber. That doesn't seem so impossible. What I refuse to accept is that someone could have possibly spent hours under the intense radiation, emanated from a combination of an unrelenting sun and a badly damaged atmosphere towering over the Philippine Islands, and still remain as white as Mac-Mac is.

That last paragraph for retards? Masyadong maputi si Mac-Mac para maniwala akong naglalako lang siya ng yosi dati.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: For a while back there I was suicidal again. I mean, it wasn't even the scary kind of suicidal, it was the realistic kind, the rational kind. I thought, "Why am I alive? No one's gonna miss me. I see no purpose. I'm just gonna end up a sad math teacher earning peanuts with no family and nothing to look forward to. I'll probably just feel more pain in the future, so what the hell, better end it now while I still have 'potential.' Oh wait, I wanna get laid first, but I don't wanna pay for it. Sheesh! If I'm getting some then I'll have a reason to live! Dammit! Oh well. I prolly won't get to that point, so I might as well do it now. It won't be so bad. Maybe later, like, after finals or something."

Don't worry 'bout it though. I'm not *seriously* gonna kill myself. I know better. What's that? Am I half-hoping that I'll get run over by a truck while crossing the street? Hmm... That's different. Well, that's such a bad way to go. Yes, this is my way of pulling an Imelda: a truck is my equivalent to the bolo sans yellow ribbon. I'd rather drown. Or bleed. But I don't wanna feel the pain. Is that possible? In any case, I want my death to be romantic... or is that poetic? Anyway, stuff that's poem or song worthy. That's a start.

Ah, screw it. There's an entire world of mindless lumps of flesh to rule, and I'll be damned if I don't at least give it a shot before I transcend this mortal realm.

I Wanna Rock!

2004-08-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Smile Empty Soul - Finding Myself
-"I don't care anymore if I let you down
I believe that I need to be free
I'm so used to my life with you around
I don't know anymore the real me
And I thought that I found myself today
And I thought that I had control
All the change in my life just found a way
For a moment I didn't need you
All the tears that I've cried you must be tired
Of taking care of me but
It's what you do best and I'm a liar
'Cause really is what I need
Someone like you
Someone like me
Maybe it's change that set you free..."
------------------------------
I woke up this morning with you in my mind... Haay diyos ko! Masama na itech! Hullurrssh??!?

Sorry, sorry. That was just a test. Wala lang, trippings ko lang... Hey, don't you have some porn to surf?

My blockmate and I got into the quarterfinals of Freshman Henyo sa Math (FHM for short). Basically, we got stomped. Yes people, I regret to inform you that there will be no balato coming from me.

The questions were damn hard, but they were just made that way. Out of about, say, 30 points I think, the grand champion would be lucky to have a score of +7. No shit, I'm way serious. There are negative scores for wrong answers. Most of the people who advanced had scores of +2, +6, etc.

How did we do? -10. Oh yeah.

The author would like to note that all these pluses and minuses and numbers reminded him of RPGs, both pen-and-paper and video game forms. You may now point at the screen and yell "Geek!" as loud as you wish while laughing your ass off. Thank you.

What pisses me off is not that we lost; I was expecting that. What pisses me off is the stupid names of the teams that beat us. Boobie sisters? Team Buk Tu? What in the motherfucking hell? Lousy! Fucking lousy! They could have at least tried to come up with something cool. (by my standards, anything drug, mafia or goth related will suffice)

Then again, I'm not one to complain. Our name was even lamer: Dansa. Sheesh. Chalk that one up to my blockmate.
------------------------------
Disclaimer: I'm not really conyotic. Well, most of the time. Anyway, I just, I dunno, let's see how this works.

So like, after that laban thing, where we were made talo by those jologs, I like, made punta na to G4. Mom was gonna pick me up there later eh. I thought I might make arcade muna, kasi like, I had to make hintay pa! So I went to Timezone and made laro... Actually, I was gonna go to starbucks rin pero there was really no point to it if I wasn't with a foxy lady noh? So I made laro na lang sa Timezone. I was gonna play Dance Dance Revolution, kasi some tracks are trance and trance is like, so cool talaga noh? Pero these jologs made so haba the pila I gave up na lang! Siguro they made basa pa the dance pads with their pawis and all... Eeeww! Kadire talaga!

Screw this, it's making me sick.
------------------------------
Mom came by to pick me up about an hour after my Timezone load ran out. She asked if I wanted to have lunch, and I politely accepted, even though that's what I figured we'd be doing right from the start. I, for one, was starving, and didn't know what to eat. Suddenly, like a chorus of angels descending from the heavens, I heard chairman Kaga whispering in my head...

...cook it on your tongue.

TUNA SASHIMI!!! I've had a violent craving for sashimi ever since I saw that episode of Iron Chef. In fact, I was expecting it to be one of the selections in my sister's wedding's reception, given that the decor was Japanese and all. No such luck; I enjoyed some mixed cuisine instead, with chicken teriyaki, lechon, chop suey, fish fillet, etc.

Originally, mother suggested we dine at Pancake House. But I changed my mind; I opted for Tokyo Tokyo instead. Aside from my usual Beef Misono sumo meal, I had the aforementioned Tuna sashimi, along with some Tuna Tekka Maki, some iced mango jelly dessert and their yummy red iced tea. I swear, their iced tea is pure ambrosia. Either that or they mix it with some cocaine. Whichever.
------------------------------
Did anyone else notice how hot it was today? God, I was melting. Normally, long walks really don't bother me much, but today, I could barely make it to my room. It's not like I did too much: traversing the MRT stations, from AS to MSI and back, commuting, chilling at the arcade, walking round the mall and stuff. When I got home, I could not turn the air conditioner's knob fast enough. Ack. Wala lang. Basta yun, hang henet sa labas... haay diyos ko!
------------------------------
completely wrong thought(s) of the day:
-O ayan! Hopefully, nasa taas na naman ang tagboard! Woot woot!
-Nakuha ko na ang mga resulta ng "Eng 11 idol," yung quiz namin na kakanta kami ng something that is a good example of poetry. Ang pinili ko ay "Pardon Me" by Incubus. Ang average grade ko ayon sa mga hurado (i.e. mga kaklase ko) ay 1.42. Ok sana, karamihan mga 1.25 at 1.5, kaso may mga lecheng nagbigay sakin ng dos at 1.75 na humatak ng grade ko. Grr...

Ang saya nung mga comments nila! Heto ang iilan: (all based on memory, for I am too lazy to grab the comments from my backpack)
-Astig!
-You're different.
-The presentation is very "you."
-I can feel the angst! I'm surprised, but... pleased. =)
-You sang well... =)
-You need to explain to us more why you chose those words.
-Good, but you have to explain it better. Combustion? Individuality? What are they?
-I am not familiar with the song, but I appreciate how you introduced it to me.
-Good insights on individuality and escapism.
-Are you a rocker? Astig! I agree, it is poetic! Rock on dude!
...and my personal favorite:
-You can be a rock idol! It's hard to reach those high notes!

Oh gosh! Rock idol daw! Wala namang ganyanan, feel ko tuloy seryosohin... *ideas-ideas*... Nyahahahahahahaaaaa!!!

Defining Angst

2004-08-19T23:12:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Edgewater - Eyes Wired Shut
-"Eyes wired shut
Running through my brain"
-That is enough for now, mortal.
------------------------------
I am positively livid with rage. I swear, I feel like raising some hell, and when that happens, watch out. Argh... I don't wanna talk about it. The mere thought of it aggravates me.

My sister got married today. (I intend to write a post about it sometime) If Francis Ford Coppola or Mario Puzo is correct, then this is the day when the godfather cannot refuse any favors from his friends. Luckily, no one asked my dad, a bona fide would-be godfather, for any acts of murder or anything like that.

Ironically, I want to commit one of three "-cides": suicide, homicide, genocide.

I have the soul of an arsonist, or at least, one of my possible multiple personalities does. Whenever I think of mass destruction, I always think "fire." I wanna watch things burn, slowly, into tiny little ashes. When I think of one's reaction to suddenly catching fire, I laugh. I imagine some stupid idiot who's hair bursts into flames for no reason, soon has a fire spreading all over his upper body, flails his arms violently and, in a final, desperate attempt to quell the raging inferno, jumps out of the third floor right through a glass window. (just like in the movies, except the guy actually dies) When I think of that, I don't feel sad; I feel like laughing my ass off.

I have tickets to watch DLSU vs. ADMU on Sunday, courtesy of my La Sallian friend Jo. Now, for some reason, she wants to cause some guy immense pain. She went so far as to ask me whether I could talk my SRB friend into beating up this guy for some cash, and I swore I'd try. Heh. Seems like I'm not the only one who's in a rage tonight.

Whenever I have random gripes, I text Katt about it. Apparently, she was in no better mood than I. We were both pissed fucking off. Hell, there were three of us who were really, really pissed off at something tonight. For once, I have companionship and camaraderie. For once, I am not alone. Well, that makes me feel better.

Yeah right. I need to get high or something.

Oh, and we got into the "Freshman Henyo sa Math" finals sponsored by the UP Math Club. I will devour the competition... literally. I will kill anyone who beats our team. I will separate his flesh much like we do with beef, pork or poultry. I will bite his raw, bleeding tissue right off the bone. In effect, this will give me his strength, that is, if we are to believe the ancient wisdom of societies past. If all of this is true, then I will be the smar-fuckin'-test freshie math major in the history of forever. Yet another reason to fear me. Well, outside of the fact that you'll most likely encounter me on the street with a baseball bat in one hand and a blowtorch in the other sometime during the next few days.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I just realized something. A person can be driven to suicide under extremely stressful situations. Cigarettes help relieve stress, but they cut eleven minutes off your total lifespan (per stick). Hmm... help me with the math here: eleven minutes of your life shot from nicotine or the rest of your life shot from stress-induced suicide?

Punks!

Life of a Salesman

2004-08-15T14:12:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Dashboard Confessional - Carve Your Heart Out
-"Oh Look now, there you go with hope again
But I'll be sure your secret's safe with me
Oh you're so sure
I'll be leaving in the end
Treatin' me like I'm already gone"
------------------------------
We tried to go to church this morning, but as usual, we were too late. We had to make do with another of my mother's memory verses in the car while driving towards Glorietta, where we usually go to have lunch. Heh. So much for salvation.

During the drive, dad said a most peculiar thing. He said he had been busy from the moment I was born, and that he was not able to spend as much time with me as he did with my sisters. What perplexed me was not his statement, for it was most certainly true, but the fact that he realized what he had done. I always thought he figured I was doing all right. My fault I suppose; I was always "the good kid," which is entirely by my own choosing, mind you. Yeah, I've had my walks on the dark side. It's been fun, but much too stressful. Being good can be rather relaxing, actually. Try it sometime.

Dad was never the picture perfect example of what a fatherly figure should be. He doesn't exactly "get" me or my sisters, he's always busy, and he has a second family. He doesn't go home every day of the week, only on Wednesdays and weekends. I see him only on weekends and special occassions. I liked to assume I got along fine, but then I realized the extent of the damage that his absence had done to me. The fact that I crave attention seemed only more natural now; I never knew it, but I had been exposed to deep, deep layers of neglect, which, though not exactly on the extremes, have hurt me in one way or another nonetheless.

He tries. Yes, his attempts are pathetic. I don't care. At least he tries. Sure, nothing can make up for 17 years, but that does not stop him, and that is something that has earned him my respect. How I scorned him when I found out about my half-brother, his mistress, everything. That did not matter anymore. He was my father, and that will not change. He cares for me as he has always cared for me, and I can only do the same for him.
------------------------------
We went grocery shopping right after lunch. It was at this place somewhere near Baclaran. This particular place was not exactly high-end, but it was the type that gave away free samples at each aisle and sold mostly imported products. How ironic that it be surrounded by the houses of people who, in all likelihood, strive diligently just to have one decent meal a day. I dunno, maybe I'm going soft, but I feel like they should just give the leftover samples to those people down the road. Hey, charity work has always been attractive to rich people who like to think they're giving back to the community in some small way (read, so long as it doesn't compromise their lifestyle), so I figure this might even attract more shoppers.

Enough of that. I just wanna talk about food. I got some weird ones today, like mint flavored apple jam, and "strappleberry" flavored juicy fruit (after a few minutes of contemplation, I arrived at a most stunning conclusion--"A! Strawberry saka apple, kaya strappleberry!"). I got some apple filled pastries that I think would go great with some sharp cheddar. I had this craving for tuna sashimi from watching Iron Chef. That Kaga dude was all, "If my memory serves me correctly, the Japanese have a saying on how to properly eat tuna: 'cook it on your tongue.' This means that tuna fat boils at very low temperatures..." and so on and so forth.

Gah. I'm gonna be fat forever.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day:
some dude (sd): Oi. 'Wag ka ngang haharang-harang sa daan!
me: Oi. Sino ka nga pala? (fyi, kaklase ko siya sa basketball; napaisip muna ako syempre)
sd: Anong year mo na? Mukha kang matanda.
me: First year. Bobo! PE 2 nga eh!
sd: Ows? Akala ko repeater ka.
sd again: Ano course mo? Tingnan natin ang iyong kapalaran...
me: BS Math 'Di ako pumasa ng BAA!!!
sd: A, malapit ka nang maging teacher! Ampanget ng course mo.
me: Hehehe... Baka mag-shift ako sa BAA next year. Wala akong kilalang sikat na alumni ng CS!!!
sd: Ano yun, accounting? Asa ka pa tarantado.
me: Oo... ikaw, ano course mo? In time I will own your soul and the souls of your kin, and will continue to do so for many generations.
sd: IE. Mas maganda course ko sayo.
me: A... 'Di ko alam yan, pero eng'g yan siguro. Hem hem... No comment.

No offense sa eng'g/BAA/math peeps. Por komik epeks lang po. Piss awt. ^__^

What Keeps the Stars Burning

2004-08-11T00:40:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Muse - Time is Running Out
-"Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it"
------------------------------
Hello there. You. Yes, you. Is it nice where you stand? Do you ever find yourself drowned by the sunshine? Do you think it is a touch too hot under the glow of the spotlight? No, huh?

You like it, don't you? All the attention, all the praise, all the glory. Glory for what, you ask? Why, for being normal! For being a palatable human being. For being someone that everyone can relate to.

It's like a drug, right? A bad habit that you can never quite kick... Goodness me, did I just say "bad" habit? Ahahaha! How foolish of me! It can't be bad if only I perceive it as such after all.

Gosh, how I envy you! Look at all the faces staring at you from the crowd! They all smile like you smile; they all wear their hair just as you do; they all wear something that seems a lot like your fabulous ensemble; they mouth your lines in tandem with your lips; they move their hands in synch with yours; they see their lives being played out on the stage in front of them. Yes, I really do envy you. Everything in your world seems so... so...

...so safe.

What's that? Oh! What of MY world, you ask? Ahahaha... You don't want to know. No no, really, I'd rather not talk about it. It's for your own good, you know. Ah, but still you persist! Oh, poppycock! All right, I will tell you a little bit about it then.

My world is nothing at all like yours. My world is enveloped by a perpetual darkness. Its inhabitants are the creatures of the night, persecuted the very moment they step on your most sacred ground. I know, I know. I make it sound horrible, don't I? It's not that bad actually; it can be rather comforting at times. Sure, it gets cold down there, and yes, I do get terribly lonely rather often, but there is something about the backstage that endears me far more than anything in your centerstage.

Can I tell you a secret? I am not at all like you. Well, at least, not in terms of how others take me. Your people accept you for who you are. You are one of them after all, so why shouldn't they? For some reason, however, I cannot be treated similarly. Honestly, it makes no sense to me. Is it my fault that I reside in the land of eternal rain? Ah, yes, that was my decision; I nearly forgot. And yet, it eludes me why this should have any bearing on them at all. Why does it matter? Forgive me, but I do not understand. (perhaps I never will... sad, isn't it?)

Even in my realm I am treated rather coldly. You see, our people are not at all alike either. My people do not always smile; their hairstyles are not always the same; their clothes are very much diverse; not all of them choose to speak; not all of them choose to move; there is no such thing as one generalization for all of their lives. It all seems so unstable, so chaotic, so volatile, does it not?

Whatever. It's home to me, and that's what counts.

Why did I choose to live here in the first place? I don't know. I just stumbled across it and liked what I saw. Everyone seemed so refreshing... so unique...

...so different.

Frankly, everyone in your realm is so alike. I have trouble distinguishing you from that girl on the third row, or that man standing to get popcorn, or that little boy who fell asleep in the back row. You may all look different, but you don't act any different. What is this body but a vessel of the soul anyway? Everyone in here HAS to be just like everyone else. Your paths, though not exactly coinciding, cannot stray too far away from one another, because that proves you are not alone, that you are not one-of-a-kind, which is not a bad thing at all since there is safety in numbers. Right?

Call me nutty if you wish. I wouldn't disagree. The fact remains: I would rather live dangerously in my own skin than live securely in someone else's.

If only you felt the same... then, perhaps, I wouldn't have to be so alone...
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I actually learned something from my AP teacher today! Apparently, one's mind can play tricks on you to try and hide your emotions. For example, it can fool you into thinking you have forgotten about someone to try and hide the fact that you miss that person immensely. It's true! Oh, come again? How did this come up within the context of our conversation? Ah, well, err... It's funny you see OH SWEET MOTHER OF WHAT'S THAT??!? *points behind you* *bashes your head on the monitor* *runs away*

How to Take Over the World

2004-08-07T09:27:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Weezer - Pink Triangle
-"I'm dumb, she's a lesbian
I thought I had found the one
We were good as married in my mind
But married in my mind's no good
Pink triangle on her sleeve
Let me know the truth
Let me know the truth"
-Ahh, fourth grade...
-Wait a sec, Weezer? Diba yan yung sinulat ni Alden? ;)
------------------------------
I love the smell of tyranny in the morning...

My plan for world domination has begun to unfold. Don't blink, 'cause you might just find a long wire sprouting from the ceiling connected to your cerebellum when you choose to open your eyes. You will be hooked to what is known as "the collective," where all thought patterns are monitored such that, in the event that we find certain rebellious emotions beginning to well up in you, we will be duly notified and you will be subdued.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's take it from the top.

First off, I've already mentioned my vice grip on technology and how I intend to cause panic and chaos the world over. Next, I've given you a taste of my elite global domination training program. Then, I gave you a hint of my immensely powerful telepathic and telekinetic powers. Lastly, I've been ridiculed my entire life because of my name, so what better way to make people respect it (and me, ultimately) than to force them to respect it?

In traditional evil villain fashion, I shall reveal to thee mine plan so far. And yes, you are dangling over a shark tank on a rope with a giant laser beam aimed at your forehead right now, though you're likely to escape... BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM REVEALING MY PLAN ANYWAY!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

The foundations of my plan is not to be found in previous entries. It revolves not on contaminated diskettes, mandatory rap anthems or my evil powers. Rather, it revolves on a much more massive and powerful force, a pseudo-realistic matrix that has captured the hearts, minds and souls of the populace. It is a body much more evil than I, causing many to spend countless hours as mindless drones desperately searching for some form of indirect contact with other organic life-forms. It is a force that I like to call...

Fear this, bitches!

Yes, friendster. While you are certain to question my sanity, think about "the math" for a bit. I can have up to 500 friends, right? Suppose I found a way to turn those 500 friends into loyal minions, say, by posting a Bulletin saying "if u dont swear ur undying loyalty 2 me ur acount wil b deleted..." Bam! 500 minions just like that! Too small a number? Then add, "...pass dis on 2 all ur friends or ur account wil b deleted," to said message. Suppose all my friends have 500 friends themselves. That means each of my friends will have 500 minions, and my minions' minions are therefore MY minions! Check the digits: 500 x 500 = 250,000! A quarter of a million! Doing the same to my third degree friends, 500 each as well, turning them into my minions' minions' minions, and everyone in my personal network would have sworn their undying loyalty to me! Don't think that could lead to a lot? Blow your mind on this: 250,000 x 500 = 125,000,000. That's 125 million evil minions all grovelling at my feet! Well, give or take a couple hundred thousand, considering multiple accounts, common friends, etc.

Granted, that falls a little short of America's 293.9 million and way short of China's 1.27 billion, which means my military strength might be lacking, in numbers at least, should these countries somehow get all their citizens to oppose your campaign. Ah, but fear not! Take solace in the fact that I am not alone! There are plenty of other people who want to rule the world! I shall make friends with these people and form alliances (just like on Survivor!).

How many friends do I need to make? 51. No more, no less. Why? Well, if each person does the same thing on friendster as I did, then: 51 x 125,000,000 = 6,375,000,000! That means we 51 hopeful overlords will control 99.84% of the world's population! And how, pray tell, am I to get them to follow me? By fear! I will threaten them using my aforementioned contaminated diskettes, since most aspiring overlords rely heavily on computers and the Internet.

All I need now is some sort of hierarchal scheme to keep things in check. I have to make sure that they know I'M the one calling the shots, since this was, of course, my idea. I shall hereby appoint myself as the godfather of the Domination Preparatory Society (DPS for short). My next ten tyrants will be the "founding fathers," who will handle the trivial tasks that I needn't waste energy on. Ten more will be in charge of surveillance and espionage, making sure no one is getting any "ideas" on stopping DPS. Twenty-five of the other tyrants will be normal members, but they can upgrade to "Area Boss" level by paying a small fee, which will change nothing really, it's just that they might prefer that title over "member." Five more of the tyrants, hand-picked by yours truly, will be the alalays. They're the ones who take care of all the dirty work. Should we be discovered in any way, one of these people will be used as the scapegoat. Basically, if this were a video game, we have five lives and that's it, Game Over. Oh, and one of those five will be my right-hand man, who will be uber-loyal and stuff like that.

And with that, I take over the world by force. Honestly, what's 10 million strong compared to 6.375 billion strong? Then again, I might end up with all the panisies who don't know how to hold a gun and stuff. Oh well. If all else fails I can always rely on my immensely powerful telekinetic abilities. Even if someone manages to stop me, I can at least raise some hell before they do.
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: I have a question. You know that show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"? My sister and I suspect Thom Filicia is a Filipino. More than the fact that he looks Filipino, his name is so pinoy too. t-H-o-m *emphasis on H* But still, Filicia sounds kiinda pinoy too. Whaddaya think? (obviously, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, never mind then)

When All I Need is a Whack Upside the Head #1

2004-08-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Dice and K9 - Itsumo
-"Itsumo kokoro we hoshii itsuka
Dare katu mata koi nei utchitimo
Itsumo kokoro we nei iro itsumo
Anata dake no basho ga aru kara"
-Don't ask.
------------------------------
It is in the least anticipation of change that I found myself lately running around circles. And who would have thought that now, aside from academic shell and minor mishaps, this so-called love is tearing me apart? I would definitely be the last one to expect this.

For all its seeming frivolity, its devouring of the internals, and the sleepless nights it entails, the love is surely of no fleeting quality, like this one you experience when you are exasperated over this traffic jam or something. Sure once in a while I get to take her off my mind, like when I get to catch a nap, watch some WWE, and munch on a really nice chocolate bar. But then again, when I start complying with my acad papers, I get to be ensnared by her strong command of this written word. When I board my morning jeepney, I get to see her face on this passenger in front of me. And when I begin my MP3 ritual, right then and there, at this flash of this first beat—I get to hear her voice resonating from this slim wire of my headset. I’ve done all sorts of suppression, and yet, at this end of this day, everything I’ve tried fails.

Oftentimes, I wish the law could have just ordered me to prop myself against the wall and face a vandal-free partition. Just so I could momentarily take my mind off of her. Just so I could focus my energies on what primarily matters then: studies, family, friends, and even my occasional tantrums. But now, I realize, it’s no longer a life for myself alone; it has fast metamorphosed into a life where she is but a vital installation.

Clearing it out, she hasn’t even shown any sign of reciprocating the goddamn feeling. And yet, I’m already on the verge of being dispatched to a mental asylum. I am not under a conducive state of mind to analyze what the heck struck me, but as far as I’m concerned, this prognosis is somewhat clear: I’m always thinking and looking out for her.

Perhaps, what hit me exists in a yet unplumbed realm.

Well, the joke must really be on me. In spite of the intense affection I harbor, I cannot summon a bit of courage to blurt it out straight to her nonchalant face. How I wish two templates were aptly mounted on my mind. This first one, when she decides she could actually reciprocate the love. This template would propel electrons to rush through every nerve of my body, pleasing me enough that I no longer want a million dollars or a 1.0 in my subjects. And this other template, when she sports an empty face after I drop the bomb, initiating a torturous silence enough for me to shove myself beneath the ground. This template would activate a thousand profanities, and transform me into one raving lunatic screaming at the top of his lungs: Damn you! What kind of monster are you to lure me into thinking that you can eventually love me back? How dare you disrupt the harmonious equilibrium of my tedious life! How sadistic of you to have treated me so well only to leave me here, hanging and gasping for breath!

I never wanted to entertain any thoughts of expecting something in return, but I am no phony showbiz personality to deny that some part of me is still hoping that someday, somewhere, I’ll get to have a share of her affection. Or even love. During the dead of the night, this dream sinks in an irrepressible manner: I see her hand perfectly fitting mine, both of us fooling around at the outskirts of this campus. This world is all black and blue and we don’t give a single care. All else fades in the background.

But of course, I do not subsist in a world where “the perfect ending” does. And so during moments of desperation, I get to wallow at the idea of her one day falling for another guy. Although it lacerates big time, a surge of realization creeps through the fantasy: She may, or most likely, may not be in love with me. I may just be another fan fancying the hottest movie star in town. I may just be another bookworm delighting over the omnipotent hero. Or…

I may just be another best friend stereotype from all those teen movies who has no other purpose than for ego-boosting debates, for YM chats when no one is online on her list, and for listening to her when her man isn’t treating her right.

I hate to make it sound as if she was born to inflict pain on my person or something. And I despise more the fact that while thoughts of her console me during my refuge at dusk, this same musings of her confront me with this reality that not everyone escapes unscathed in this sojourn called love, if one may even call it love when only one of these two parties may be at the receiving end.

Being a firm believer of synchronicity, my hopes are held high: this universe will pity me and somehow conspire to make her mine. If not, would it be too bad to move a few limbs to make it happen all by myself? I’ve been thrust into the guessing games, but in the one, clues come as seldom as Halley’s Comet does. And I’m already running out of oxygen, ready to expire anytime. Will she even turn back when I give her a tap on the shoulder? Or am I going to forever lure myself into thinking that persistence comes with a prize?

Whatever this structured ending may be, it’s but a pleasant surprise that I somehow get to gamble and play my cards. I know I am not the only one dwelling in this sea of hoping and wishing and being crushed by someone. There are plenty of us out there, and who knows, maybe I am one of those who are just hoaxed by a nasty farce and bound for the scrap heap.

If only forgetting love is as easy as shipping out of the wrong room, saying to yourself “Oh no, you have entered the wrong door today. This is not where you are supposed to go…”
------------------------------
completely wrong thought of the day: Crossing streets is starting to suck immensely. Damn cars don't know when to stop! It's not like video games where you get a continue if you get run over either. You get hit, you DIE. Time your touchdown Superbowl-winning run wrong and you won't get a second try. It's like, SPLAT! Congratulations! You're roadkill!

My Virtual Post-It Note

2004-08-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Incubus - Privilege
-"I see you in line dragging your feet
You have my sympathy
The day you were born you were born free
That is your, that is your privilege"
------------------------------
Maigsi lang 'to. I just wanna say some things before I forget.

Could anyone help me out? Suggest naman kayo ng mga kanta na sa tingin niyo ay poetic. (wag yung Vincent, kinuha na ng ibang tao eh). This is for Eng 11, so only English songs. (OPM/J-Pop fans please remain seated!) I'm already considering Stellar and Ghost in You, so anything that is a touch more thought-provoking would be nice.

I got my speakers up and running! Woot woot!

Narinig ko na yung Astro. Astig! Would it be weird if I said I thought Che Che was cute? It must be those braces... I'm a bit of a sucker for braces, weird as it may sound. And, err, for glasses as well... I am such a nerd. >_<

completely wrong thought of the day: *today's somewhat altered dialogue from AS is courtesy of Jam*

Jam: Patingin nga nung curriculum ng BS Math.
me: Sure. *hands over curriculum*
*Jam stares at the paper for a while*
me: Hey, I have a question. Ano yung Math 1? Math for general knowledge? (or something like that)
Jam: Yan ata yung history of math eh...
me: Ano naman 'tong Math 2? Math for everyday use?
Jam: Hmm, basic math siguro.
me: They should rename Math 1 "Math for retards". *both of us laugh*
Jam: Ang sama mo!
me: Oh wait, dapat ata Math 2 ang math for retards... Say, what's worse than a retard? Braindead zombies? Living vegetables?
Jam: Wag kang ganyan! Marami akong kilalang Math 1 no!
me: What, and they're all retarded?
Jam: Ang sama mo talaga! Math for Morons kaya...
me: Onga no! Walang dating yung iba eh. Basically, Math 1 is Math for Retards and Math 2 is Math for Morons. Right?
Jam: Math Major ka nga!

I can't really diss people for taking Math 1 or 2 though. Given a chance, if, say, I had a different course, I would probably take that as well. Hey, it's an easy uno, and an uno is an uno is an uno, right? Besides, it isn't as if Math 17 is that much harder I guess. I just like to... hmm... "exaggerate," if you will. :D

Hindi ko na lang nadagdag "E pano kaya yang Math 11..." Peace. ;P

Memo to my Future Self

2004-08-02T16:06:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Eraserheads - Pare Ko
-"O! Diyos ko! Ano ba naman ito?!
Diba?! Tang ina! Nagmukha akong tanga!
Pinaasa niya lang ako!
*full emphasis please* Lecheng pag-ibig 'tooo!"
------------------------------
Stupid Yeo. Stupid Cardona. If it weren't for them I could probably cheer for La Salle, even if they beat UP by 1 point yesterday. Everything seemed to swing in our favor: it was the first UAAP game that Jam (and presumably her friend) had watched live, it was the first time my sister's fiancee had seen a game in four years, and I, soon-to-be supreme evil dictator of the whole entire world, whose negative forces of energy caused Joseph Yeo to miss the last shot against Adamson, was in attendance. What could have possibly gone wrong?

Well, my sister's fiancee suddenly got the notion to rip off the maroon UP flag that they give away at the games and use the plastic stick as a mock arrow for aiming at the La Sallians. It was at exactly that moment that the Archers had started mounting their comeback. In the end, we lost by a point. What does this prove? Nothing, if you don't consider the fact that I did the exact same thing with a DLSU flag (without the arrow bit) during the DLSU vs. AdU game. The moral of the story? NEVER rip off a playing school's flag while sitting on said school's side.
------------------------------
Things are getting a bit harder for me in UP. I've been coming home exhausted lately, and even Math 17 is getting kind of not-so-easy. Ack... maybe I should do that "thing" that everyone talks about... what's it called? Studying? Or is it reading? Something like that, but mind you, my translation skills are slightly rusty.

I've been feeling... hmm... how should I put this...

Ok, let's put it this way. If I met myself from, oh, about six or so months ago, that past self would kick my ass. Hard. It's just that I realized that I've been such a wuss lately, and I really don't know why.

It is with due justification sometimes. For example, I'm in the College of Science, right? Who the hell graduated from the College of Science? No one knows, no one cares. Now, consider the people from CMC, or from the College of Law, or from Econ. Count 'em.

Heeheehee.

That is why I have chosen to follow the "course." The "course" is basically my ever-changing gameplan of sorts, and it's looking pretty good right now. The one semi-sure thing right now is I'm gonna get my ass outta BS Math, or if I stay, I'm gonna make damn sure I make something of myself. Since I'm pretty damn sure I won't be making it big as a writer or something like that, I will concentrate on making myself the richest-ass bastard ever! I will be a sellout "wit da skillz to pay da billz yo!" I refuse to accept my "destiny" as a *shiver* teacher! (AUGH! NOOOOO!!!) Virtu over fortuna baby!

Without further ado, I present to you... DA KORS!!! (there will be no Irish girls singing! Punks)
-After graduating from BS Math, I will take the Law Aptitude Test and get a law degree. Whether or not I actually become a lawyer is irrelevant, as I am only after the business background. Cash money baby!
-If I get good enough grades, I will shift to Business Administration with Accountancy. This is a win-win situation, since graduating from this course alone is pretty much sufficient for my kinda lifestyle.
-If I don't get into BAA or into the College of Law, I'll take up actuarial science (or am I taking that up right now?). I hear these durned matheematikal folks plum make sum goood money...
-In any case, I'll likely have an extended stay in UP, which is fine by me I suppose. I mean, I'm not gonna be a broadcaster in a snap like some people I know. Something Mass Comm-related appeals to me though, so I might leaf over their offerings real quick.
-Katt says Jessica Zafra took Comparative Lit. Hmm...
-If all else fails (i.e. my grades), then there's always...
"Kuya what's that?"
"It is the dreaded lair of tormented souls! It is the scariest place in this or any other realm or dimension! It is where people who have nothing else to look forward to in life go to smoke weed and fantasize about internet orgies all day! It is... it is...!"
*booming, evil voice comes out of nowhere* "D-C-T-I!!!!!"

AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!

completely wrong thought of the day: I have either a short paper to finish or some charred animal flesh to devour. I should probably study for Math 17, and I have to get a decent night's sleep. Yet here I am, blogging away, saying irrelevant things that no one really cares about. Heh... I'm making the world a better place already!

*How?*

...screw yourself with a stick! Smacktard.

(Sorry, I got nothin')

teh unb34r4bL3 L337n3ss 0f b3in6

2004-07-31T22:46:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Audioslave - Shadow on the Sun
-"And I can tell you why people go insane
And I can show you how you could do the same
And I can tell you why the end will never come
And I can tell you I'm a shadow on the sun"
------------------------------
"Hindi kami mga nerd. Promise!"
"We're not your typical nerds, at least, not your home-school-home nerds."
"There are no nerds here, just lots of cute guys and girls!"

These are some lines that I remember from the several different org brochures that were pimped to me by some pitiful mem, who most likely lost at "maiba mang-aalok," during my first couple of weeks at UP. Apparently, the market for nerds grows thin. It has to be if they take such great measures to show that no one in their circle is a nerd, right?

But my question is this: what's wrong with being a nerd?

I admit it. I am a bona fide nerd. I play video games, single-player RPGs especially, I have participated in a pen-and-paper RPG, I like using the PC, I watch Star Trek, I enjoy Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and I used to play a Collectible Card Battle Game (Pokémon, not Yu-Gi-Oh!, though I enjoyed the latter's animé version quite a bit). I am physically depraved, I enjoy reading, I like being alone and I study before exams (not too hard though; I've never ever had to cram at full force in my life). These are the things that I have fun with. Is that so wrong?

This is who I am, and I have accepted that. These things are what I enjoy; why should I be persecuted for that? Why do you roll your eyes when I go on about dilithium crystal matrices, 5-turn game-ending combos and hot elven chicks (oops)? I certainly don't give you any guff about watching the PBA, listening to 90.7 Love Radio or your penchant for hot elven chicks (I really should stop with that), do I?

I refuse to conform to a certain societal standard of what a "normal" person should be like. What's so great about being "normal" anyway? What is individuality if you end up being just like everyone else? News flash people: "normal" is just a polite way of saying "mediocre." You live and die with the fads. You exist exactly as the powers that be have intended you to. Between you and me, I'm the happy one.

If it were just a matter of my being different then I would have just let this topic be; it's everyone else's loss. But, as previously stated, it pains me to see my fellow peyupsters denying their true nature. Come on, get real will ya? You can't be in UP and not be nerdy to a certain extent. If you weren't nerdy beforehand, you will be afterwards because this "skill" is essential for survival. Your only problem is that you have let yourself be deluded by our society's skewed perspective of what a person ought to be. You have decided to let everyone else dictate who you should be, when in fact that choice is entirely up to you. You decide who you are, where you are, what you do, think and say. Thus, you are hindered from fulfilling that which is your true nature.

Fear not the thought of not wearing the same things or owning the same stuff or saying the same lines or idolizing the same people as everybody else. Do not be afraid of loneliness. In time, things will change. You no longer have to flock towards the greatest concentration of souls, rather, they will flock towards you. Trust me, you will find yourself thanking me later.

Come now, don't be scared. Take the red pill, Neo...

completely wrong thought of the day: "Life sucks. If yours doesn't, congratulations, you're retarded." -me on a very, very bad day.
^Baka yan yung gawin kong "about me" sa friendster profile ko... Heeheehee...

Bloodlust

2004-07-30T15:44:00.000+08:00

today's musical inclination: Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
-"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
So won't you kill me, so I die happy
My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury
Or wear as jewelery, whichever you prefer"
------------------------------
Perhaps it was but lunacy
When one hath dared to hinder me
I told him "Break," but he did not
I told him "Bend then,"; he did not
He did not break, he did not bend
And so his life I had to end
"O happy dagger, meet thine sheath!
And this to thee I doth bequeath..."
His blood had gushed onto the floor
'Twas not enough, I thirst for more
Oh what a shame, thine soul torment
Perchance I could speed its descent?
"And with this tiny candle fire
I shall be quenched from my desire
Mine sympathy you'd not return
Then all shall die and all shall burn!"
I watched the halls engulfed in flame
My conscience hath remained the same
Through all of this I smile somehow
"It all ends here, it all ends now...
Do you disdain? None shall remain!
Fear me now! I am insane!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!"
------------------------------
I'm in another one of those "I-don't-see-the-purpose-in-not-comitting-suicide" moods again, which you will no doubt dismiss as just some fleeting thing that will be completely gone in the next few days. You know what? You're probably right. Pardon my lunacy.

completely wrong thought of the day:
"Each man I killed and edifice razed
Is but a taste of my trail blazed
Your sanctuary does not exist
Embrace the pain or...
HOLY SHIT PALAKA!"

You probably don't know this (why would you?), but I am deathly afraid of frogs and toads. Yes I am, don't argue. I remember back in Laguna when that subject came up while me, Mako and Jam were roaming the grounds. Our conversation went something like this...

Mako: Wala kayang palaka dito?
me: Ha?! Bakit naman??!? Uy walang ganyanan, takot kaya ako sa palaka!
Mako: Ako rin naman eh. Nung isang umaga nakakita nga ako doon o...
me: Oh shit! Ok lang, andyan naman si Camille eh!
Mako: Honga! Andyan naman si Camille!

Some of the dialogue might have been altered. A little help, Jam? ;) For the record, Mako is like, I dunno, 5'10" and kinda looks like a tough guy, if only just a touch. Oh, and Jam and I got the idea to tell him to join the next season of SCQ... but that's another story.

Yet Another Retarded "Yu-Wap" Thingy

2004-07-29T15:53:00.000+08:00

Medyo inconvenient na mag-post ng mga lyrics and stuff here everytime may matipuhan akong kanta, kaya gagawa na lang ako ng songs of the day thingy, even though it makes me seem like a poser who copies of a gazillion million other persons' blogs. But that's okay, believe what you will.

today's musical inclination: Velvet Revolver - Slither
-Awesome guitar riffs... 'nuff said. Got me through Soc Sci 2 with my sanity intact (I was humming the riffs to softly to myself like a psycho).

Kanina ay bumili ako ng tiket sa CHK para sa game ng UP vs. DLSU sa Sunday. Kasama ko noon ang aking blockmate na si Karen. Last time nanood si Karen ng game ng UAAP, siya ay napilitang maging isang fan ng Green Archers sapagkat laban ng Ateneo at La Salle noon at ang kanyang nakatatandang kapatid ay isang La Sallian. Isa rin siyang fan kuno, kasi hayskul pa lamang siya ay sinusubaybayan niya na ang umaatikabong aksyon at matitinding sagupaan ng mga collegiate basketbolistas natin. Saka may crush siya kay Joseph Yeo. *retch*

Naglalakad kami ng papuntang HK noon. Sinabi niya sa akin, "Sana manalo ang UP!" Sa isip-isip ko, "Yeah right, asa pa..." Then again, natalo naman ng Adamson ang La Salle eh, pero still, malakas rin naman ang Adamson. "Eh tinambakan nga tayo ng Adamson eh!" sabi niya. "Hoy wag ka! Nung lumaban tayo sa Ateneo tambak lang tayo ng nuwebe, hindi man umabot ng double figures! Pero wala si Fonacier noon..." sagot ko naman.

"Alam mo ba kung bakit ang bano ng UP?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Bakit?"
"Kasi yung mga player nagfee-feeling gwapo pa. Pinagpipilitan nila yung larong bading hindi naman nila kaya. Dapat magpakatotoo sila! Hindi naman porke't larong kalye masama na a! Tingnan mo Adamson, larong kalye pero ang lakas!"
"Honga honga!"

Alam ba ninyo kung ano ang nagde-determine kung bagay ang isang team sa larong kalye o larong bading? Nasa over-all level of ka-gwapuhan ng players yun. Mga larong bading na prominente talaga ay Ateneo at La Salle... no question naman diba? Carry kasi ng players nila, kaya malakas ang mga team nila. Kaya nila type yung larong bading kasi puro mga gwapo (daw) ang mga player nila. Yung mga larong kalye, FEU at Adamson. Malakas pareho, kaya ok. Sila naman, hindi drop-dead gorgeous ang mga player, kaya sila larong kalye.

So you see? The amount of pagka-gwapo is directly proportional to a team's tendency to play like badings. Isipin mo na lang ang tsart ng supply and demand. Parang ganun, pero hinde. Basta, alam niyo na yun.

Nagkakaproblema kapag pinagpipilitan ng isang team ang larong bading kung bagay talaga sila sa larong kalye. Isa na ang UP dito (parang gusto kong sabihin Uste, pero hindi ko naman masyado napapanood yung mga laban nila eh). Ang actual level of play nila ay larong bading, as can be seen with this handy-danady chart (use your frickin' imagination!), na bagay sa mga gwapo. Ngunit-bagama't-subalit-datapwa't! Hindi kagwapuhan ang mga player ng UP (ikumpara mo naman sa mga player ng La Salle/Ateneo). Ayan tuloy, eto yung ideal level of play chart (again, "imagination!" *with matching SpongeBob voice and hand movements). Tingnan mo, nagkakasalisi yung dalawa! (I'm not telling you again smacktard)

In conclusion, para manalo ang UP, kailangan nilang magpaka-jologs. Napaka-negative kasi ng connotation nun eh, pero ang ibig-sabihin lang naman nito ay dapat ay meron silang heart and hustle. Eto ang central dynamic ng larong kalye philosophy, at dahil hindi naman sila as skilled kuno as players sa ibang team, e di substitute with hustle diba? Basic yun mga pare dude, pero hindi rin naman nila gagawin! Goodness, do these people even know how to play basketball?!

completely wrong thought of the day:
"Intellectual Masturbation"

I always hear people using that term. I kind of played with the thought of it awhile and came up with a couple of questions... or something like that.

When you're all by yourself, that's intellectual masturbation. When is it intellectual intercourse? How is that differentiated from intellectual mutual masturbation? What about an intellectual orgy? (for the record, I think rengga, or patchwork poetry, qualifies as an intellectual orgy) Can one get intellectually pregnant? Does one require intellectual protection? Does religion have any issues on same sex intellectual intercourse? How does one define an intellectual climax?

Okay, maybe I should just drop this. Sorry. I am just a pseudo-intellectually-sexually frustrated nerd. Right.

Another Exciting Wednesday

2004-07-28T13:14:00.000+08:00

Yellowcard- Only One
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up
And I give up
Just want to tell you so you know

Here I go
Scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go
But there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

Something's breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go
Scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go
But there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go
So dishonestly leave a note
For you my only one
And I know
You can see right through me
So let me go
And you will find someone

Here I go
Scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go
But there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I told you I liked this song. I've listened to it for the nth time this morning and it's still stuck in my head. It's not as deep or thought-provoking as, say, Stellar by Incubus or She Will be Loved by Maroon 5; it's fairly straightforward. I like the violin though, it's a nice touch, it adds a nice melancholy feel to the whole thing... Hay naku, makinig nga kayo ng Yellowcard! Sana gawin nilang single yan, you'll know what I mean.

Pupunta dapat ako ng SM North ngayon para tumambay (hopefully with my out-of-school buds fromThird Year who do nothing but smoke weed and play video games and participate in orgies all day long. Oh, I'm not into stuff like that, I'm just in it for the games. It's all about the games, people), pero tinatamad ako. Merong sportsfest ang MMC ngayon at naimbitahan ang lahat sa block namin, pero hindi na ko pumunta, tinatamad ako.

I just wanna stay home, log on every so often, lie down, play video games, and listen to Yellowcard and Dashboard Confessional. Is that so wrong? I hope not.

completely wrong thought of the day: ARGH! My enter key sticks!

My ID, My Friends, My Music... For Life!

2004-07-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

July 26, 2004. It is official--I am a peyupster.

Babala: Ang post na ito ay mahaba. Kung gusto niyong magpahinga tumigil kayo dun sa ibaba, dun sa linya na "hindi lang yan!" Kasi grabeh, it's so haba na, nakakailang! Maawa naman kayo sa inyong mga mata, at dito nagtatapos ang aking semi-kanta... Err, i'm in a trippy mood, up to no good, livin' gangsta in the hood... ARGH! Must... stop... INSANITY!

Huwebes pa lang ay in-announce na ng prof namin na wala kaming klase ng Soc Sci 2 sa Monday. Pagkatapos ng aming klase sa Math 17 kahapon ay maghahanap na lang ako ng tatambayan ng tatlong oras. Dapat kasama ko ang aking former schoolmate sa DPS, na ngayo'y nagte-take up ng Journalism, ngunit required silang manood ng SONA. Inimbayt niya pa nga ako sumama eh, pero ayoko, nakakatamad. (pabiro kung sinabi, "Pag-iisipan ko, pero kung natuloy tayo, daan tayong DPS at kumuha ka na ng yearbook mo!") Nagpasama na lang ako sa blockmate at former DPS classmate kong si Rovic sa OUR, upang kunin ang aking ID. Oo, ang ID ko nga na kay tagal ko nang hinihintay. Bwiset kasing schedule slip yan, nawala ko ata. Hindi ko naman kasi alam na importante yun eh. Kung sa bagay, yang Form 5 nga akala ko resibo lang at muntikan ko nang itapon eh... Nyahahaha...

Pinakita ko kay manong guard ang aking Form 5 at inabot niya sakin ang pinaka-hihintay kong bagay sa ngayon bilang isang peyupster: ang aking ID. Huwaw! Desente ang hitsura ko! Sabi nga ni Rovic bagay daw yung suot ko sa background na red and white. Hasteeg! Ngayon magagawa ko na ang mga bagay na nawawala sa aking buhay sa peyups. Makakapasok na rin ako ng Main Libe! Makaka-avail na rin ako ng student discount na bente-singko sentimos sa ikot at toki! Hindi na Form 5 ang gagamitin ko para makapasok ng Math Building!

Pero, pagkakuha ko ng aking ID, napansin ko na wala pa yung sticker na 1st sem AY 2004-2005. Tinanong ko ang aking kasamahan kung paano kumukuha nito at sinabi niyang pupunta pa daw kami sa CS Libe para sa kadahilanang ito. Matagal pa naman ako maghihintay dito eh, at gusto ko na ring kumpletuhin ang aking peyupster w/ ID experience (more on that later), kaya sige, go lang. Pagkalagay ng sticker sa ID ko, ni-request ko kay Rovic na i-tour ako sa Main Libe. Ipinakita niya sakin ang mga PChan, ang mga Soc Sci sections, ang section ng CAL, foreign languages, at ang tunay na Oblation (daw, pero parang may naaalala akong nagsabi sa akin na wala na ang orig). Pagkatapos noon, umuwi na si Rovic habang ako naman ay naglakad na patungong sakayan ng dyip na patungong Pantranco...

...at hindi lang yan!

Habang naglalakad ako dun, nakita ko si Leisa, ang aming Circulation Manager sa Blue View na siyang Third Year na ngayon sa DPS. Circulation Manager meaning utus-utusan; formality na lang yung title. Siya yung tao na sinisigawan namin mula sa aming headquarters (which is on the fourth floor) habang siya'y nasa turf pa lamang (which is on the first floor) kasi laging nale-late sa mga meeting...
~~~~~Flashback Sequence~~~~~
"Hoy Leisa bili mo kami ng Coke!"
"Ha? Ano?!"
"Coke! Ng COKE! Saka isang mango juice! Si Jaykie daw Lemonade!"
*raises her hands to heaven O_o*
*itsa ng isang daan*
~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~
Anyway, si Leisa nga iyon.
"Ginagawa mo dito?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Naghahanap ako ng trainer sa Sabayang Bigkas namin eh," sagot naman niya.
"Ows? Saan?"
Tinuro niya ang CAL.
"A, gusto mo samahan kita? Wala naman akong ginagawa ngayon eh... Ayoko pa umuwi."
"Sige ba! Sigurado ka ba wala ka nang ginagawa?"
"Oo naman! SONA eh!"

Pumasok kami sa CAL at hinanap ang nakausap ni Leisa noong Sabado. Aba, mahirap pala ito! Andami palang grupo sa DPS na naghanap ng trainer sa UP! Akalain mo nga naman, talagang pag produktong peyups oo... Sabi na lang nung ale ay susubukan daw nila, pero hindi wala silang maipapangako. Sinabi na rin niyang subukan daw namin sa Theater Arts maghanap. Kaya yun, ok, let's go to theater arts! Inakyat namin ang hagdan at pumasok kami sa isang office. Nagtanong-tanong si Leisa tungkol sa trainer, at ang mamang napagtanungan niya ay sumagot ng...

"Why are you talking to me?! Can't you see I'm busy??!?" *turo sa mama sa other side ng room*

Well excuuuse me. I am so sorry to interrupt your porn surfing session. Ah, I see you are subscribing to sexxxmail! I, for one, do not see the value in such things, but I suppose sad, middle-aged government workers with enlarging prostates can milk more use out of it than I ever could. After all, cheap hookers from Quezon Avenue won't even touch you with a ten foot pole if you paid them a hundred thousand bucks.

Ok, I'm blowing this outta proportion. He was checking his e-mail, all right? Yeah, like that provides any justification for his snapping at us innocent little inquirers. Besides, I never knew logging on to Yahoo! was considered "work" by our government.

Anyway, naka-usap ni Leisa ng matino-tino ang isang guy dun sa room. Maya-maya, nakatanggap si Leisa ng text galing sa aming common friend, si Tin. Si Tin ay aking kinakapatid, at nalaman ko na lang bigla na best friend niya pala si Leisa sa DPS (lumipat na kasi si Tin sa UPIS, ang tunay na Diliman Preparatory School). Hinintay namin si Tin sa sunken at kung anu-ano ang napag-usapan: college choices (niya malamang), UAAP (fans rin siya ng ADMU... PH34R TEH L337 34GL3S LOLOLOLOL!!!!! L4RRY F0N4CI3R PWNS J00!), ang kasiyahan ng pagiging non-star, etc. Ilang sandali makalipas ay may nag-alok sa amin ng dried mangoes, tamang-tama ang timing pagkatapos lang ikuwento sa akin ni Leisa na bumili siya ng ube pastillas sa isang alokera. Tinanggihan na lang namin ito (pero parang gusto kong sabihin na allergic ako sa dried mangoes). Nakita ko rin ang iilan sa aking mga blockmates na kakagaling lang ng Beach House. Later on, since nakausap ko yung isa sa YM, nalaman kong napagkamalan pala nilang syota ko si Leisa. Hay Diyos ko! Hanubanaman itech!

Maya-maya, dumating si Tin, na siyang nagtago muna sa likod ng isang puno. Takot kasi siyang madiskubre ng mga aktibistang pagala-gala doon dahil iimbitahin siyang sumama sa SONA panigurado, datapwa't hindi siya pinayagan ng kanyang papa (na, take note, ninong ko na nagtuturo ng Law minsan sa UP). Ayaw niya na lang ata gumawa ng eksena doon. Napag-isipan kong mag-lunch na lang, kasi medyo gutom na rin ako noon. Ang dalawang yun ay typical High School students pa rin, sobrang indecisive (kung sa bagay, indecisive pa rin naman ako ngayon, not to mention passive at submissive). Madaming lugar ang nasabi: Beach House (me: na naman?!), CASAA (me: wag mainit!), UPIS (Leisa: makakapasok ba kami? Tin: Oo no! me: Kung hindi, ganito *labas ng wallet, buklat, pakita ng ID, kunwari kausap si manong guard* "Tang ina tsong hindi mo ba ko kilala?! Peyups to 'tol!"), Vinzons (so-so...), SC (yuck! it's so cheap naman there!), at Chocolate Kiss (sila: wala kaming pera! me: ako meron. sila: talaga?!). And the winner is... CK! Sinabi ko ililibre ko sila. Ok lang sakin kahit mahal; minsan ko lang naman nakikita ang mga yan eh.

Sa may Vinzons, nakakita si Tin ng mga kakilala. Maya't maya may sumisigaw ng pangalan niya at nangangamusta sa kanya. Anuba naman yan! Ako mismong estudyante dito ay iilan lang ang kakilala, samantalang itong hayskul na chikiting pa lamang ay andaming prendly prends, maging kaklase, ka-batch, former varsity o former UPISer man. Mula Vinzons ay nilakad namin ang Chocolate Kiss. Oo, malayo, pero ok lang, trip ko maglakad nun eh. May mga nadaanan kami na kumakanta ng, err, Luha ata yun. Nung una ay matawa-tawa lang kami. Maya-maya...

"Heto akooo... Basang-basa sa ulaaan! Walang masisilungan! Walang malalapitan!"

Take note, si Leisa ay emote na emote pa noon.

Pagkagaling namin ng Chocolate Kiss ay nakita namin ang ate ni Tin, si ate Tan, na siyang third year student ng Film (at candidate for magna pa!). Huwaw... Buong buhay ni Tin ay naka-palibot na nga sa UP. Dati ata sa UP village sila nakatira, lumipat lang sila ilang taon na ang nakalipas. Ang papa niya ay graduate na at ngayo'y nagtuturo ng Law doon, ang kanyang mama ay prof ng Pol Sci na naging estudyante si Loren Legarda at si Jessica Soho (hindi niya ipinagmamayabang ito, pero ako, gusto ko ipagmayabang eh, bakit ba?!), ang dalawang nakatatandang kapatid niya ay dito nag-aaral. Laking kaba niya nga na baka hindi siya pumasa ng UPCAT, pero sa totoo lang, wala akong duda na kakayanin niya yun. Ika nga ng mga pumuri sa friend kong si Mako noong awarding ng Regionals, "Magaling 'tong batang 'to!" (may kalakip na istorya yan, pero sa susunod na lamang) Naglakad kami pabalik ng AS at nagsiuwian na kami...

...at hindi lang yan!

My ustetician friend Jeff borrowed my Make Yourself CD. I told him he HAD to listen to it; no musician's education (he is an aspiring guitarist, like so many others in this world) would be complete without listening to Incubus' sick musical stylings. He was supposed to return it to me yesterday, but he said the SONA caused some insane traffic thus it was impossible for him to leave the house without bumping into some stray activist who managed to get lost on the way to Sandigang Bayan (which, by the by, coincidentally, is just a hop, skip and a jump away from DPS). He added that he would not be able to return it next week either, since his prelims were coming up. Nerd. Oh, did I say that out loud? Ahahaha! Peace.

Anyway, I figured it was time to grab some new music. Now, I was torn here. There were quite a number of CDs that caught my eye when I dropped by the nearby Tower Records along Quezon Avenue. There was "Morning View" (another great Incubus album, though I had heard all the songs before), Slapshock's, err, 2 B Inch or something like that (jologs na kung jologs, gusto ko lang marinig muli yung "Numb"), Yellowcard's "Ocean Avenue" (I really, really like the single, Ocean Avenue), Underworld's 1992-2002 2 CD compilation (all my CDs thus far are of the rock genre; it would have been nice to get some trance in the mix somewhere. Besides, I like Born Slippy), The Punisher OST (for Broken, which I liked way before anyone else did as usual, plus I wanted to check out the other tracks by Seether). I made my choice. When I went to the cashier to pay for the CD of my choice, I flipped my wallet *wide* open, as if to give everyone a good view of my UP ID. What? My ID pwns. My pic does not make me resemble an Ewok in any way, shape or form. Oh wait, I look too much like an Ewok already. Besides, I just got the idea from a friend who says she does the same thing whenever she spots some college students in uniform right behind her (when she commutes that is, like, I dunno, inside a bus or jeep or tricycle or at the MRT's line to buy tickets I guess).

I decided to stick with Yellowcard's Ocean Avenue. A semi-rocker friend of mine recommended that I grab myself a copy, and you know what? I don't regret it a bit. When you get tired of Ocean Avenue (the single), you can listen to stuff like Way Away, Back Home, and my personal favorite, Only One. My only gripe would probably be that the songs all sound the same at times, like you could play them all consecutively and they would just seem like a really long song. Oh well, it's nice anyway, yung Incubus lang kasi saka yung Audioslave may distinct sound ang bawat kanta, pero on its own ok talaga yung Ocean Avenue.

Still, since I dug up the 1000-peso buck from my blue savings wallet, I felt like splurging today. I decided to make another stop at Tower Records before going home (gawd, it's like they know me there already) to grab another CD. I looked around, thinking I would most likely end up buying the Punisher OST, until I spotted it--Dashboard Confessional. Whoa! I just had to grab a copy of that, if only for the fact that the name "Dashboard Confessional" sounds so kewl. Then again, I also like Hands Down anyway. And no, I was not stupid enough to hope that Vindicated would be there somewhere; I'd have to snag me a Spider Man 2 OST for that (but I was half-wishing for it anyway). I haven't had time to get really intimate with DC, but I'm liking it so far...

Tapos na po. Bow.... at hindi lang yan! Hinde hinde, jowk lang, wala na talaga, inaantok na rin ako eh...

completely wrong thought of the day:
Nang kami ay pabalik na ng AS galing Chocolate Kiss...
Leisa: "Ito yung lagoon diba? Dito kami dumaan nina Virna nung Sabado eh..."
Me: "Oo, ito nga yun."
Leisa: "Alam mo ba? Dati may nakita kami naglalampungan dito..."
Me: "Normal lang yun. UP eh. Ako nga mismong sa klase ko sa Philo 11 meron eh."
Leisa: "O? Dun mismo sa klase?"
Tin: "Kami kaya dati, may nakita kaming mama sa sunken, ginagawa niya mag-isa..."
Leisa: "Ha?"
Tin: "Alam mo na, all by himself... Mismong broad daylight pa, asa likod siya ng puno. Natakot nga kami eh, puro babae pa naman kami dun, ang lalake lang dun yung boyfriend nung isa naming kasama..."

Dudes, if you gotta do certain things then the choice is yours to make, but please remember that there really is a time and a place for everything. Yes there is, don't argue. In this case, well, just think about it a bit. Men's bathroom? Yes. The back seat of a bus? It can be done. Behind a tree along the sunken garden in broad daylight? You might wanna re-think your strategy a bit.

Somewhere, Somehow, Someone

2004-07-26T14:46:00.000+08:00

Oh my, this is not good. This is not good at all. I have been waiting for far too long, my dear. When will you arrive? You are taking up a large part of all eternity, you know. But it is all right; I shall wait. I have been waiting long enough, but still, I know you will come around eventually.

Did you know that I waited for hours outside the bookstore? You said you would walk home with me. Do you remember? You even wished that it would rain. Ah, you are after my heart itself dear! Long have I wished for someone to share my sentiments with the rain. I could never understand why people dreaded walking in the rain. It's only water, it's not gonna kill you! Long have I walked alone amidst the downpours and the storms, but now, now I have you to walk with... or so I thought. It would seem I had at least one more wave of angels' tears to traverse all by myself...

I was thinking of you as I looked up at the stars last night. My, they are amazing! We have such a perfect view of them from this realm! You like them as well, do you not? Yes, I am quite certain that you do. I feel so lost when I look at them. It is as if they are calling out to me, as if I should not be here at this moment, as if someone, somewhere, wills me to be there, as if that is where I should have been all along... Do you think that could be true? I hope so. This world is far too sad for me. Why, if I knew not of your existence here I would not bother with it at all.

Please do hurry... How I wish that you are able to make it to dinner. Ah, you will enjoy what I have prepared! It's a surprise though, just for the two of us. But, oh dear, it will not last very long. The food is getting cold, the roses are wilting, and the candles are slowly melting into tiny puddles of wax. Even the violinist's patience grows thin, but please, do not be mad at him; he is human after all, only sent here by the memory of those great men who have long since transcended this mortal plane. If he leaves though, it is all right still. I shall remain; my patience for you is timeless, as well it should be, wouldn't you agree? Purpose is not bound by the laws of time and space. I will be with you. I have to be with you. I know not when, I know not how, but I know that I shall remain forever restless if I do not discover the path that will lead me to you.

I have said it before, but I have been waiting for far too long. I have been searching for far too long as well. You are here, and you will be with me soon. I know you will be. I can feel it. However, I am exhausted. I can search for you no longer, so I will stick to waiting, as I have been for quite some time now. But I know that you are on this oblate spheroid somewhere, and I know that you are lonely. My, what a coincidence! I too am lonely. If only we could be lonely together...

Find me, child. Find me with all haste. It is not that difficult at all. You only need to search for the fool who walks amidst the rain and stares up at the stars with all longing--wanting, searching, waiting...

completely wrong thought of the day:
"It was like a million shards of glass piercing my heart from all sides at the same time..."
--sentiments of a car crash survivor
"...oh wait. It actually was.

Incoherent Ramblings of a Sad, Sad Fool

2004-07-25T16:33:00.000+08:00

I have been horribly depressed as of late...

My third year in high school was such that I discovered I was not like my other classmates at all. I felt different, unique, individual. I felt like I was better than they were. At that time, I believed with all my heart that I was destined for great things.

By the time I reached fourth year, this belief had not changed. I was inadvertedly placed in the crème de la crème of the seven fourth year sections in DPS. At first I felt like I must provide some separation. I remember thinking, "You people are nerds. I am not. I am smarter than any of you, but I have a life. Bow before thine master, grovel at mine feet." For a while, this presupposed niche and I got along rather well. Classes always seemed a bit dry, so I took it upon myself to provide the comic relief every so often. After all, I was from the non-star section and damn proud of it; how else would these nerds survive? I really felt like I was shaking things up, and in a way, I did. (though my opinion of my classmates in general had changed over time; I discovered I was a bigger nerd than any of them would ever be, and that was ok with me)

However, the path to greatness is laden with a large number of hindrances, and I have come across a large number of them. First, my sole objective during fourth year was to make it into UP, a goal that was largely motivated by some of the greatest minds I have encountered in this life. I made it all right, but it seemed I had overestimated my intelligence. I had not made it into my first choice, BAA; rather, I got into my second choice, BS Math. Yes, 'tis a cruel, cruel fate that has befallen me, a lowly math major, an infinitesimal, insignificant speck in this vast cosmic fabric whereupon we exist. The foundations of my plans and schemes had all come crashing down. No longer could I be an accounting lawyer, thus, I would no longer be as wealthy as I could have been. No longer will major corporations line up to snag the brilliant head resting upon mine neck and between mine shoulders. Now I must prove to everyone that I can make it anyway, despite fate's derailing of my train ride to greatness. Ah, the price of extreme cockiness and arrogance! Oh, woe is me, woe is me!

I once told my sister that I believed myself to be destined for greatness. She replied by mentioning that everybody believed that, but that was not always the fruit of their labor. Only now do I see the truth in her words; everyone, but everyone, wishes to be great, but only a handful ever make it to the glimmering pot of gold found at the rainbow's end. Truth be told, great men do not even seek greatness outright; they merely find it through the course of their actions. Oh dear... How very, very lost am I...

In the end, though I wish, hope and dream, the sad reality remains: I'll be fortunate to find work in a call center (given my sociopathic nature, I do not believe such a task would be bearable). My friends all around me will move on to become lawyers, doctors, celebrities, broadcasters, etc. all people working in very lucrative dealings, while I, I with my cynical outlook, my rebellious nature, my pseudo-realistic approach to all things, shall be truly blessed if anyone finds my corpse, my melancholy, tormented, peaceful expression on my pallid, lifeless face.

When I die, will they mourn? Will they care? Will they even know? But then, none of that matters anymore. Death is the end to which all means must inevitably succumb. It can be rather liberating and peaceful when you think about it. Why must I continue to exist anyway? What do I live for? Who do I live for? The answers to these questions elude me still.

Smile while you still can, or while it still stands for the good, anyway. Know that it is not at all times that a smile will be symbolic of joy, of ecstsy, of bliss. Even men who are dying in extreme and utter torment can find the time to smile because of the absurdity of it all...

completely wrong thought of the day: It would be so simple, so easy. It all could end if I truly willed it so. Is it not better to quit while I'm ahead, while they still believe that I am capable of something, before they are awakened to the sad reality that my life or death will be of no difference to anyone at all? At least I am certain that there are still those who would mourn; wait too long and they all might outlive me. Yes, I do not know what I am missing, but I know this: there will be no more pain. There will be only silence, calmness, tranquility...

If only things were different. If only this were not our sad and twisted realm. If only this were some bizzare parallel universe, where things were different, where it were at least possible... how I wish. If that were so, then maybe, just maybe... or perhaps...

Forgive me. I am a fool who knows not that of which he speaks. Forget all that I said; it is irrelevant. But ah, yes, one must remember in order to forget... and for this, again I apoplogize.

Animo La Salle!!!

2004-07-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

*These names are unedited, but it's ok; these people have no idea this blog exists. I will not specify who is talking; please be creative and use your vivid imaginations.*
Guys, cheer naman kayo!

"Oi Maltaj, cheer ka nga."
"Ano ba yan Paul! Kung ikaw kaya?!"
"Rey Rayan, ikaw ata pinariringgan eh, nakaupo ka lang kasi dyan."
"Lumen naman, ikaw na mauna..."
"Maltaj, pansin mo yung mga player ng La Salle ampuputi?"
"Hahaha! Oo nga no! In comparison mukhang sunog yung mga taga-Adamson!"
"Sus... Pa-cheer-cheer pa. Isigaw kaya natin, 'go CSB!', 'go NU!'?"
"Ahihi! Jaykie may nag-text o! Yung friend kong taga-uste!"
"Uh-huh... Sino na naman yan?"
"Taga-Claret."
"Yan ba yung kasama mo sa prom?"
"Hinde noh! Player to na lagi kong nilalait... Wahaha tambak sila! Uy, sinabi ko sa kanya yun, reply niya 'ano gusto mo gawin ko?' Ano magandang reply?"
"Um, how bout, get some guys who know how to play basketball?"
"Hihihi! Okay! Uy Jaykie, alam mo, sobrang nag-aalangan na kaya ako sa choice ko ng school ngayon..."
"Maltaj, ano ba naman yan! This is not the time or the place for that..."
"In fairness, ang yayaman ng mga asa side natin, puro Lower Box at Patron seat!"
"Mga alumni na yan eh..."
"Uy guys, sabi nga cheer daw eh!"
"Sheesh... Sige na nga!"

D! L-S! U! Animo La Salle!

"Alam mo, bad trip lang talaga sina Cardona at Yeo, ang angas! Kung di lang dahil sa kanila full support na ko sa La Salle eh!"
"Hah? Eh hindi naman ganun kaangas si Yeo a!"
"Akala mo lang yun... Palibhasa gwapo eh..."
"Uy si Japoy o! Drummer pala siya ng La Salle!!!"
"Andaming drums ng sa La Salle no? Nakakabingi!"
"Honga! Yun pang sa Adamson ang onti lang..."
"Ilan ba sa La Salle? A-N-I-M-O-space-L-A-S-A-L-L-E... Trese."
"E yung sa Adamson? A-D-A-M-err... ano yan?-O-N-S-picture ng falcon... Walo lang ata."

*Halftime*
"Guys, tapusin na natin ito ok? Kahit alam nating La Salle ang mananalo ok rin kasi eh, close game..."
"Okay! Onga, ok to, tapusin na natin..."
"Uy guys tayo na rin tayo! Para naman feel na feel natin ang pagka-La Sallian natin!"
"Sige... You know, di ko pa napapanood yung cheering ng La Salle. 'Di ko trip yung sa Adamson eh, ampanget nung sounds."
*watches La Salle's routine*
"Ha?! Yun lang pala yun?"

"Ano ba naman 'to, yung Archers larong bading, yung Adamson larong kalye! Bad trip talaga si Cardona, angal ng angal amputa!"
"Oo nga eh... Ok pa si Tang, mahusay."
"Tsong, wala yan. In fairness, pans ako ng ADMU. Larry Fonacier is MY hero baby!"
"Ayan ka na naman, feeling Atenista. Excuse me, pero humina na sila no! Yan na nga lang malakas sa kanila saka si Tenorio eh..."
"Lumen alam na alam mo a..."
"Sus, si Lumen pa! Showbiz yan eh!"

*4th Quarter. Time: less than a minute, last play. Score: DLSU- 62 Adamson- 64*
"Wow, astig! Cheer ulit tayo guys! Woist magsitayuan nga kayo!"
*All stand*
Shoot that ball! Shoot that ball!
Let's go Archers let's go! Let's go Archers let's go!
*3... 2... Yeo shoots... 1... ENGK!*
"Waaah! Bad triiippp!!!!!"
"Tang inang banat yan! Andaming pustahan ang nasira nito!"
"Putang inang Joseph Yeo kasi yan eh! Feeling niya naman sobrang lakas niya babano-bano naman!"
"Adamson amputa! Tuwang-tuwa naman sila, feeling nila sila na champions..."
"Syet naman tsong, natalo nila DLSU! They're as good as champions kung ganun at ganun lang."
"Argh! Ang bano ng skul natin!"

Not a single one of us is a La Sallian. There were two feufsters, one ustetician, one fatiman and one peyupster (hopefully kilala niyo kung sino yun...); we were merely La Sallians at heart.

Animo La Salle!

completely wrong thought of the day: I was born alone and I will die alone. It matters not how I feel; I have no say in the matter. Why? I was born ugly, and born to be fat. No girl, or woman, in her right mind would ever, EVER be able to entertain the thought of falling in love with me. God, that is so depressing, yet true. The thought of suicide has never seemed so real to me: a few confessions here, a couple of closures there, and poof! I am at peace with this realm. Will I be a *great* person anyway? Hah. I doubt it. Nowadays it seems like there is nothing more that I must live for, like I've lost my purpose for living...

...and now your life does not seem that bad at all, does it? You are very welcome. I am glad you could milk a drop of significance from my otherwise meaningless existence...

Mag-sulat tayo ng Animé!

2004-07-23T15:37:00.000+08:00

*A typical animé boy's room, complete with sliding door and all. Our protagonist is fast asleep though in an awkward position, and his mother bursts into the room.*
Mother: Hiroshi! Gumising ka na! Kanina pa nagsimula ang klase mo! Hoy! Nakikinig ka ba sakin??!?
*The boy merely lies there and drools. The mother's face changes; her eyes turn into angry eyes with no pupils, a vein pops out on her forehead, and she gains a fang on the right side of her clenched white teeth. She storms out of the room with white puffs of smoke exuding from her head and closes the door. She quickly returns with a bucket of water, her expression the same as it was. She douses her son, who jumps up. His face suddenly turns into one whose eyes are wide awake, his teeth clenched, his arms flailing in the air.*
Mother: Sa wakas gising ka na rin! Pumasok ka na at nagsisimula na ang klase mo!
Hiroshi: Inay, matagal pa ang klase ko! Alas siyete pa simula nun!
*He sits up, eyes glazed, obviously still sleepy. His mother, who looks more annoyed than angry now, with her eyes closed and her mouth shut tight, grabs a digital clock. She points to the time: 6:55. Hiroshi still looks dazed, but his expression suddenly changes into one of utter panic.*
Hiroshi: Naku huli na ko! *Grabs clothes and puts them on in a hurry. He rushes down the stairs and grabs a piece of toast from the plate on the end table.*
Hiroshi: *shouting* 'Nay mauna na 'ko!
*Hiroshi is running towards the camera. His mother is shown on the second floor balcony, carrying a broom.*
Mother: Hoy Hiroshi bilisan mo! Ikaw talagang bata kaaa!

*Hiroshi runs through the sidewalk, where he passes a lamppost every ten seconds. His bag is on a strap around his upper body and his left arm is carrying his books. His eyes are wide, his cheeks exaggerated in front of him. He has no mouth, but a piece of toast seems to be stuck to his face where his mouth should be. As he turns a corner, the perspective changes into first person, his view surrounded by streaks of wind. Just as he turns, he catches sight of a girl directly in front of him, who suddenly turns to face him. The screen turns black for a split-second with stars and red, yellow and blue streaks shooting out from the center of the screen.*
Girl: Aray... Ang sakit... *rubs head*
Hiroshi: Hoy Ayumi, tumingin-tingin ka nga sa dinadaanan mo!
Ayumi: Ang kapal talaga ng mukha mo Hiroshi! Ikaw ang naka-bangga sakin eh!
Hiroshi: A bahala ka! Male-late na ko! *runs off*
Ayumi: Uy teka! Hiroshi hintayin mo akooh!
*They are shown running outside the gate of their school, which is a big white building consisting of a central tower with matching clock, an east and west wing, and a rooftop area with rails. The shot changes to that of the classroom, where a boy looks out the window as his teacher discusses the lesson. He looks outside, and the angle changes to a shot of the school grounds, where Hiroshi and Ayumi are shown running towards the building.*
Boy #1: Psst! Kaji! Sina Hiroshi yun diba?
Kaji: Oo nga no! Nahuli na naman sila!
Boy #1: Naku, lagot sila niyan kay ser!
*The shot changes to show the teacher discussing in side view, while we can see the sliding door.*
Teacher: So here we learn that when we multiply x to this...
*The sliding door bursts open. Hiroshi props one arm against the wall and looks down, gasping for air. Ayumi slowly runs up behind him, stops right next to him, puts her hands on her knees and does the same.*
Teacher: Kayong dalawa! Huli na naman kayo sa klase ko! Pang-ilang beses na itong nangyayari! Alam niyo, wala na akong pakialam kung nagde-date kayo, wag niyo lang hayaang maka-apekto sa schoolwork ninyo!
*The rest of the class laughs.*
Hiroshi and Ayumi: *bows* Patawad po, hindi na po mauulit.
Teacher: Ilang beses niyo na ring sinabi iyan, ngunit heto, late na naman kayo! Magsi-upo na nga kayo, at wag niyo nang istorbohin ang klase ko!
Hiroshi and Ayumi: Opo ser...
*The two take adjacent empty seats. They converse in whispers.*
Ayumi: Pambihira ka talaga Hiroshi! Na-late na naman ako dahil sayo!
Hiroshi: Pwede ba, makinig ka nga! At saka late ka na rin naman talaga a!
Ayumi: Uy hinde noh! Sakto lang ang pagdating ko kung hindi mo ako nakasalubong! Nakakainis ka talaga!
Hiroshi: Bahala ka! Pangit ka naman! *belat*
(Note: Ideally, she is rather pretty, but Hiroshi calls her "pangit" nonetheless)
Teacher: Kayong dalawa! Diba't sinabi ko wag na kayong maingay? Ang titigas ng ulo ninyo! Pwes, mamaya ay manatili kayo pagkatapos ng klase at ipapa-detention ko kayo!
*Ayumi's face is one of shock and horror. Hiroshi merely sighs angrily.*
Hiroshi: Ayan, ikaw kasi eh, ang kulit mo...
*Ayumi's expression changes: her eyes are angry and without pupils, her mouth disappears and a vein throbs on her forehead.*

*The clock on the tower shows 12 o'clock noon. The lunch bell sounds and the students eat their boxed lunches in class.*
Nerd: O Ayumi, ano na naman ang ginawa ng boyfriend mo sayo?
Ayumi: Jin, hindi ko siya boyfriend noh! Saka wala yun, ganun lang talaga si Hiroshi! *grabs some food and munches on it furiously*
Jin: Alam mo, huwag ka na magkunwari! Alam ko ang katotohanan! Ang masasabi ko lang, kung ako na lang ang pinili mo ay hindi ka magsisisi ng ganyan!
Ayumi: *annoyed expression, coupled with disgust* Jin, wag kang ganyan! Sinabi ko na naman sayo eh! Pwede ba wag kang makulit at masama ang araw ko ngayon?!
Jin: Yumi-chan... Kung alam mo lang sana kung paano ako magmahal, matagal mo nang nakalimutan ang iyong boyfr--
*Jin's sentence is cut off. Ayumi's face turns red with rage, her eyes in anger, vein throbbing, teeth clenched. She socks Jin with an uppercut, which, apparently, is enough to send him flying out of the window and off into the distance, screaming "Yuuuummmmmmiiiiiiiiiii!" until he gets so far off into the horizon that he disappears from view, but not without first turning into a brief flash of a white speck of light.*

*Japanese characters on the whiteboard read "detention 2:00-4:00". Ayumi's arms are crossed on her desk, her eyes staring at the board but blank yet melancholy in expression. Hiroshi is in the back row, his feet on the empty chair in front of him, trying to get some sleep. A few seats away from him is a big bald guy, who gets up and sits next to Ayumi.*
Bald guy: Hehehe... Ano naman ang ginagawa mo dito binibini? Anong napakalaking sala naman ang nagawa mo para mapadpad ka sa katayuang ito? Heeheeheeheehee...
Hiroshi: *position unchanged, eyes closed* Hoy Geese, tumigil ka nga. Kaya lang kami nandito ay dahil nahuli kami sa pagdating sa klase. Hindi kami tulad mo na wala nang kwenta ang buhay at wala nang kinabukasan.
Geese: *looks at Hiroshi, stands up and slams his hand on a table right next to him* Anong sinasabi mo bata? Hindi ka ba tinuruan ng respeto sa mga nakatatanda sayo?
Hiroshi: *opens eye nearer to Geese* Ha? Ang respeto ko ay ibinibigay ko lamang sa mga karapat-dapat. Ang mga taong tulad mo ay nilalapastangan, hindi rinerespeto.
Geese: A-ano? Anong akala mo sa sarili mo? Wag kang magkakamali, kayang-kaya kitang saktan! Isa ka lang kuto sa paningin ko!
Hiroshi: *closes eyes again* E di patunayan mo.
*Geese sits down looking angry. He looks at Ayumi still, with a hint of malice in his eyes.*
Geese: Binibini, hindi ba't ikaw ang kausap ko? *smiles and looks back at Hiroshi, who pretends to be indifferent to the situation*
Ayumi: Pwede ba? Hindi kita gustong kausapin. Manahimik ka na lang at matatapos na rin naman ito.
*Geese looks thoroughly pissed, and he sits down and shuts up. He looks at Hiroshi again, who is in the same position but is now smiling.*
Geese: *whispers to himself* Magbabayad kayo...

*The clocktower shows 4:00. The shot shows Hiroshi standing up.*
Ayumi: Hiroshi, sabay na tayo umuwi. Si mama kasi eh, magagalit pag wala akong kasama.
*Hiroshi is walking with his hands behind his head ala Yusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho. His eyes are closed, but in his response, he opens the eye nearer Ayumi.*
Hiroshi: Bahala ka. C-CR lang ako, antay ka lang dyan.
*Hiroshi is shown exiting through the sliding door. Ayumi sits back down, but the angle is such that we can see Geese smiling behind her, an evil, scheming smile. We see Hiroshi washing his hands.*
Hiroshi: *mumbling* Ano ba naman to, ihahatid ko pa ang pesteng yun.
*Hiroshi exits the bathroom and walks the short distance back to the classroom. He opens the sliding door, his eyes still closed.*
Hiroshi: Ayumi, tena, kailangan ko na ring makauwi.
*No response. He opens his eyes and looks at towards the chairs. They are all empty.*
Hiroshi: Ayumi?
*Hiroshi looks at the board of chalk. Japanese characters are written on it, but Geese's voice reads the dialogue.*
Geese's voice: Kasama ko ngayon si Ayumi. Kung ayaw mo siyang mapahamak, pumunta ka sa West wing rooftop ngayon din.
*Hiroshi exhibits a calm sense of anger.*
Hiroshi: Geese... Pambihira ka talaga!
*He runs out of the classroom.*

*Hiroshi kicks the door of the West wing rooftop open. He walks through it and shouts.*
Hiroshi: Geese! Asan ka? Magpakita ka ngayon sa akin!
*Geese is leaning against the railing, where Ayumi is gagged and tied by a rope (all her clothes are on. perv.)*
Geese: Nagpakita ka rin Hiroshi... Hindi kita mapapatawad sa ginawa mo sa akin. Hindi ka maaaring mabuhay pa. Ito na ang katapusan mo!
*Hiroshi looks unfazed by this proclamation. He gets into a fighting stance.*
Hiroshi: Magbabayad ka Geese. Matitikman mo ngayon ang kapangyarihan ng aking Setsuna-style Martial Arts.
Geese: HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Walang kwenta! *gets into stance* Hindi mo ata alam ito, pero isa ako sa pinaka-mahusay na estudyante ng Heaven and Earth infusion fighting style! Humanda ka ngayon bata!
*Geese rushes forward. He tries to grab Hiroshi, who jumps over Geese and ends up behind him. Geese tries to hit Hiroshi with a reverse punch, but Hiroshi ducks. Hiroshi trips Geese, and Geese falls down. Hiroshi merely jumps farther away and readies himself for Geese's attack.*
Geese: Hehehe... Mahusay. Hindi ko akalaing marunong ka rin palang lumaban. May kaya ka rin naman palang marating dyan sa iyong Setsuna-style. Subalit! *stamps both feet firmly on the ground ala Sumo* Ako'y nagsisimula pa lamang. Halika bata! Subukan mo ang aking kapangyarihan!
*Hiroshi looks calm, then he strikes. He lunges forward and attempts a punch, but in a slow-mo split-second, Geese is able to dodge this punch and grab Hiroshi's arm. Geese swings Hiroshi and slams him to the ground.*
Geese: *holding Hiroshi by the arm* Hahaha... Napasubo ka sa labang ito! Hindi ko na patatagalin pa! Heto na! Earth Dragon Fist!
*Hiroshi was able to avoid the attack, contorting himself to end up with his hands over Geese's eyes and his feet perched on Geese's back. The Earth Dragon fist connected on the floor creating a hole that went clear through the lower classroom's ceiling. Hiroshi used some leverage on Geese's back to do a backflip and jump a little farther away.*
Geese: Grr... Nagawa mo pang iwasan ang aking pagsalakay...
Hiroshi: Tama ka nga Geese; hindi na magtatagal ang laban na ito. Walang kinalaman si Ayumi sa ating dalawa, ngunit ninais mo pa ring saktan siya, at dahil dito'y hindi kita mapapatawad. *camera shows Ayumi, pupils quivering yet eyes steady, slightly flushed* Ikaw naman Geese; ipakita mo sa kin ang kayang gawin ng iyong Earth and Heaven infusion techniques!
Geese: *battlecry* Seven Star Strike!
*Geese attempted a truly magnificent combination of attacks on Hiroshi: punch-punch-kick-punch-kick-kick-grab. Geese performed this with tremendous speed and skill, but unfortunately, Hiroshi was able to guard against the first six strikes and dodge against the last strike completely, leaving Geese vulnerable to attack. Hiroshi grabbed Geese's left arm with his left hand, leaving his right hand free to strike.*
Hiroshi: Serpent Palm on Blooming Lotus!
*The screen turned black. Five Japanese characters in white appear in the middle of the screen one at a time in quick succession. The screen then switches to Geese's upper body, which has a big imprint where Hiroshi hit him. Geese's eyes went blank, and Hiroshi let go of Geese's left arm just as he fell to the floor. Hiroshi clenched his right hand to a fist and looked at it, then he looked at Ayumi. He slowly walked towards her, untied her and removed the fabric from her mouth.*
Ayumi: Hi-Hiroshi! Si Geese... A-ano--
Hiroshi: ...mamaya ay magigising rin yan. Tara, iwan na natin siya dito. Kailangan na nating umuwi. *smiles*
Ayumi: *blank sorta stupid expression with the quavering pupils, gives a nod.*

*The two are walking on the sidewalk. Hiroshi is ahead by a bit, his hands behind his head again. Ayumi is looking down on the ground.*
Ayumi: *stops and looks at Hiroshi* Hiroshi...
Hiroshi: *stops, but does not turn to face her* Hindi mo na kailangan pang magpasalamat.
Ayumi: Hindi yun... Bakit... bakit mo ko iniligtas?
Hiroshi: *momentary silence* Hindi para sa iyo yun, naiinis lang talaga ako kay Geese.
Ayumi: G-ganun ba... *looks down on the ground again*
Hiroshi: *turns around, has a serious * Pero, syempre, hindi ko naman magagawang maiwan ka. Alam mo na, kahit paano'y magkaibigan naman tayo diba? At saka, kailangan kong tulungan ang isang taong tulad mo...
*Ayumi looks at Hiroshi with the same quavering expression*
Hiroshi: *Hiroshi reverts to a silly expression*...na napaka-pangit na babae! Ang swerte mo at napaka-bait kong nilalang, kundi kasama mo pa rin yung kalbong yun hanggang ngayon! *runs off*
Ayumi: *mad expression, pupil-less eyes* Napakasama mo talaga Hiroshi! Nakakainis kaaaa! *runs after him*
*Hiroshi is shown running off, smiling. Ayumi is then shown running after him; she is also smiling now. The shot changes to one behind Ayumi where the two can be seen running into the horizon. The scene turns into a pastel rendition, the narrator says some stuff and "to be continued" written in Japanese letters pops up on the lower-right side of the screen.*

completely wrong thought of the day: I don't diss activists. They fight for what they believe in and I respect that. It's just that seeing them in action is still just a tad awkward for me. I remember the other day during my Philo 11 class when a bunch of activists went walking by, demanding that the RP Humanitarian Contingent be pulled out of Iraq to save Angelo dela Cruz. Ok, not a bad cause, but dude, they formed like this really long line. I half-expected a drum and lyre band to be trailing behind them playing "Angelina" or something.

Oh, and I am also particularly fond of my third year adviser's story. Some group wanted the freshies to sign something that would stop commercialization in UP. Things like "tuta ng mga merchant" were thrown left and right. Still, my adviser was all, "If I sign this, what then? UP has no money. If this is the only way to get money, why should we fight it?" The group hit her with some info, but the fact remained--they had not answered her question. She was the only freshie who didn't sign that thing. Aww yeah! She so hardcore, she doesn't even conform to the non-conformists! Bam bam!

All This Time...

2004-07-22T18:30:00.000+08:00

Incubus- Out From Under
To resist is to piss in the wind
Anyone who does will end up smelling
Knowing this why do I defy?
'Cause my inner voice is yelling
There is a fist pressing against
Anyone who thinks something compelling
Our intuit we're taught to deny
Oh yes our soul we're told is for selling!
Get out from under them
Resist and multiply!
Get out from under precipice and see the sky
Get out from under them
Resist, unlearn, defy!
Get out from under precipice and see the sky
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No way could anyone other than Brandon "the invisible floating torso man" Boyd pull off using the word "precipice" in a song. Oh yes. Whilst I was scrolling through my lyrics sheet of "Make Yourself," I was all like, "Whoa, did he just say 'precipice'? Demn!"

I forgot to drink my morning coffee today. This coupled with my breakfast of a ham and cheese sandwich made for a rather shaky time in Chem 1. I swear, I would have fallen asleep right there in the chem pav had I not had a single shred of decency left in me. After our class, we discussed this presentation outline that we had to do. As is standard fare, we exchanged names, numbers, and the like. I was the only guy in the group, and while the girls were reading the notebook with our info, they were all like, "Who's this? Jaykie? That's your name?" I just laughed and said "I sound like a friggin' teddy bear." They said it wasn't bad at all. "Ang cute nga eh..." Right. Thank God for sympathy. I wanted to say my parents were both still high on sedatives when I finally came out, but I was late enough for Math 17 as it was.

Soc Sci 2 was wrapped up in record time: 45 minutes. Our prof had to be somewhere on Monday, so we had to finish our study on Saint Thomas Aquinas in one sitting. I swear, he should teach like that all the time. No bullshit, just straight to the point facts. I even understood the concept of Eternal Law! Hehe. On Thursday, we start with Macchiavelli. Joy!

My extra time gave me a chance to have lunch at Beach House. I used to think I could never eat lunch by myself, but it actually wasn't bad at all. The whole place was quiet 'cause everyone else still had classes and there was practically no line. I suppose there's a first for everything...

With about an hour-and-a-half to spare, I sat down in front of our Philo 11 room. I just sat there by myself, thinking. Sure, I guess it bothered me a bit that everyone else I knew was starting to forge his or her respective posse, but I suppose socialization was never really my thing. This is who I am, this is how I am, and I will not change that for anybody. It is everybody else's responsibility to deal with me and accept me without trying to fit me into a mold. If they cannot handle that, it is their loss. Besides, life is sad enough when you have to live it by yourself, so it can only get sadder when you cannot even live with yourself. Bow.

After my last class, I walked to Central (yung malapit sa New Era) all the way from AS. Bad idea; my pants have never been so muddy. I had some errands to run; I needed a 2x2 picture for my ID tomorrow, plus I had to return a book that my third year adviser lent me. I was starting to be a regular at DPS; even the newer guards knew who I was by now. I had some time to kill until my adviser's last class would end, so I went to the canteen and had an early dinner. I've been eating their Chicken Katsudon for over three years now, and I remember all the changes that it underwent; the egg used to be raw, but they fry it beforehand more recently; the sauce gradually changed from semi-sweet to salty; the chili peppers were used in decreasing amounts, probably because of students complaining.

Everything was changing right before me. The typical DPS student used to talk much in a manner resembling, "Uy tol! Musta? Tang ina oo nga eh! Bad trip talaga tsong! Pare may nag-text!" Now, they're all, "Ma'am! Asan po si sir? Umalis na?! As in super kakaalis lang? As in exagg na kakaalis lang ha?! So like, pwede pa naming habulin?" Ack. Conyoticisms.

After a while, my adviser came to the faculty room. We discussed certain things, like, how I'm an autistic freak who goes it alone. Hey, she used to be like that she says, and she also has more friends who are way older than she is, so I figure 'cause I'm like that then I must be in good company. She had to leave shortly after, and so did I. When I got home, I got hold of our brand spankin' new Windows XP Pentium 4 PC! Woot! It's not on DSL though, but it is faster than before... Ahh, technology...

completely wrong thought of the day: G was my homie from don't-ya-know-me. We used to hang out a lot during my third year "PH34R TEH L337 ST4RCR4FTZ0RZ" days. He was a pretty kewl guy, but sometimes he was kinda creepy...
*talking about certain totally wrong subjects while watching our classmates practice for a school presentation*
G: Tol, alam mo ba, parang ano si *female classmate* ngayon.
me: Ano?
G: Alam mo na... Aroused...
me: Ha? Bakit mo naman nasabi yan?
G: Basta, nakikita ko eh...
me: Ah, ok...
How could he tell??!? I mean, geez, the girl was just there practicing and minding her own business and this dude next to me claims to know that she somehow feels a particular way at that moment? Like I said, he was kinda creepy...

A Sunny Day in España Street

2004-07-21T19:43:00.000+08:00

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to España Street...

Pumunta kaming uste kanina. Walang dahilan, nanggulo lang. Kasama ko ang aking former classmate and present schoolmate na si Trese. Labo-labo ang pagpunta namin dun, walang plano. Basta naisip ko ay gagala lang kami sa grounds hanggang may makita kaming kakilala. Ang aangas kasi nila eh, sabi nila parang DPS lang rin daw ang uste sa dami nilang Dilimanians dun, kaya sige, go lang, bahala na.

Pagkakita ko kay Trese, unang tanong ko ay, "Alam mo ba pumunta dun?" Hindi raw. Ang natatandaan ko kasi ay sasakay kami ng Quiapo, pero hindi ako 100% super beautiful... err, sure, i meant sure. Anyway, sumakay kami ng Quiapo at medyo hindi namin alam ang pupuntahan pareho. Muntik na nga kami bumaba sa isang chapel na ang layo pa sa uste kasi ang iisang naalala ko nung nadaanan namin ang campus pauwi ng Parañaque ay yung gate. Buti na lang mabait yung manong na katabi ni Trese, sinabi niya sa amin na malayo pa ang uste. Pagkatapos ng ilang sandali ng paglalakbay, nakarating rin kami.

Nilibot namin ang campus nila. Whoa... It seemed a lot bigger than before, when we went there to attend a Physics seminar. Obviously, I overestimated the amount of Dilimanians in UST; we only met one former schoolmate before we gave up and texted our friend jeff saying we where lost, giving him a full-blown description of the area that surrounded the bench that we were sitting on. ("andito kami sa may field, katabi namin yung dalawang building na mukhang luma, asa bench kami...")

Dumating naman yung tatlo (si Jeff, si Albert at si Carlo) at medyo nag-usap lang kami. Medyo lang, yung slight na usap lang, pero hindi naman yung exagg na usap... Nakapag-tanong rin ako ng mga gaguhang bagay, gaya ng, "Bakit yung field niyo hindi palubog?" Wahaha! Ok sana, pero si Carlo badtrip eh, ang ingay. Umalis din naman si Carlo kaagad, so nilibot naming apat ang grounds. Err, actually, ni-"tour" kami nina Jeff. Na-appreciate ko naman yun kasi kahit paano ay alam ko na ang "lay of the land" kuno. Ibig sabihin, sa aking pagbabalik sa uste, alam ko na kung saan pwede maghintay at alam ko na kung saan ako madaling hanapin. ("guys i'm here lang sa canteen sa me eng'g"... the eternal waiting area) Ang weird lang, ang bilis ko kasi ma-dehydrate. Sa peyups hindi naman ako ganun... Siguro yung humidity yun. Maybe it was just me, but UST seemed really humid a while ago. Then again, perhaps the day itself was humid. Go figure.

Nakita namin si Ruffa, na busy sa pagbabasa ng libro. Medyo nag-uusap lang kami ni Albert, bigla siyang lumingon at tinawag ako. "Haller haller!" ang aking bati sa kanya. Marami siyang katanungan sa aming dalawa: "Musta?", "San ka nag-aaral ngayon?", "Trese nakikita mo ba si Hero?" Maya-maya, nakita rin namin ang aming valedictorian na si Nikki, na siyang pinakilala ako sa kanyang mga blockmate. Barbero pa rin siya hanggang ngayon, hindi na nagbago. At yung sinasabi niyang kamukha ni Sandara ay hindi naman talaga kamukha ni Sandara... Leche! Nilinlang niya ako! (Pardon the excessive SCQ references, but dammit, that's what really happened)

Nang mga alas dos na, pumunta na kami sa canteen sa tabi ng engineering. Habang naglalakad kami papunta doon, nakita kami ni Marvin, na siyang nagsisigaw, "Hoy apat yan! Mga kakilala ko yan! Tracey! Jaykie! Jeff! Albert!" Sa isip-isip naming apat, "Gago, hindi ka namin kilala." Iniwan muna kami nina Jeff sapagkat mayroon na silang klase. Maya-maya lamang ay nakita na namin sina Mitch, Em, EZ at Kris Quin. Tanungan na naman: "Asan si Rovic?", "Musta naman ang UP?", "Jaykie bakit 'di ka na lang nag-Ateneo?", "Trese nakikita mo ba si Hero?" Oh no, galit na si Trese. Parang isang beses na lang na marinig niya ang tanong na yan ay tatayo na siya at magsi-speech ng "Excuse me! For your information, I do NOT see Hero Angeles at all! So what if we're both taking up Fine Arts Viscom in UP Diliman? Please people, I am a person who does not wish to be defined by somebody who is correlated to me by the nth degree due to some inexplicable coincidental circumstance!"

Pagkalipas ng kalahating-oras ay dumating na si Raffy dude. Sabi ko kay Ela na hanapin kami dun, pero may advanced math classes pala siya. Sige, next time na lang. Si Rafael ganun pa rin; lagi pa ring busy, gumagawa ng project, masipag na bata. Heh... Di tulad ko na hindi na nag-aaral sa exam sa Math 17. Mga alas tres na noon at naisipan nang umalis nina Em at Trese, kaya sinamahan ko na lamang si Raffy sa pagkuha niya ng pina-acetate niyang project. Iniwan niya ako sa isang canteen kasi medyo gutom na rin ako noon. Still, I couldn't help but feel like the little kid that gets ditched by his or her mother somewhere... "O sha anak, diyan ka lang ha? Wag kang gagalaw, at wag mong kausapin ang mga hindi mo kakilala! Wag kang sasama kung kani-kanino ha?!"

Umuwi na si Raffy at hinintay ko si Jeff sa labas ng canteen sa may eng'g. Medyo nakapag-nilay-nilay ako sa panahong iyon. Aaminin ko, dati talaga masyadong mataas ang tingin ko sa UP. At oo, hindi ganun kataas ang tingin ko sa UST. (ni hindi nga ako nag-exam doon eh) Pero, nang makita ko naman ang takbo ng buhay dito, ang masasabi ko lamang ay ito: walang pinagkaiba.

I know, there is the whole schedule thing, the curriculum etcetera, but all those differences really are superficial. All our schools are just that; names only matter when we let them get to us. It's not really where you are, it's what you learn. Just look at my dad--he dropped out of some no-name college during his third year, but he's able to provide my family with an upper-middle-class lifestyle. I'm sure we all know that there are a LOT of graduates from big name state universities who could not attest to having accomplished anything that resembles that kind of success, even with their fancy-schmancy college degrees and all. Still, even my father admits he would have been able to do a lot more in life had he finished college. But then, it's true what they say--"Ano man ang mangyari, nasa tao talaga yan." Err, or something that resembles that. You get my point (hopefully).

Perhaps you might feel like rebutting, "That is easy for you to say; you got into UP Diliman and you passed the ACET with honors." True, but what does any of that mean? If you work hard enough while I stay home and do nothing, who will be better off? (I'm tempted to add "You or me? Me or you? And the final is you. There you go.") My point is, some people (myself included at times) get too hung up on names. We're obssessing, and that is not good. It's a nasty habit that I feel I should kick, and I can only hope everyone else shares my sentiments.

Mga ten after four nang makita kong muli si Jeff. Sumunod si Stephee at si Lian, at kumain na naman kami. Nauna na si Lian, ngunit nanatili kaming tatlo upang hintayin ang aming mga kaibigang sina BJ at Rem. Nang makita namin ang dalawa, biglang napadaan ang isa pa naming kaibigang si Hazel. Lahat kami ay umuwi na, at heto, ako'y nagta-type. Oo. Typing, typing... La-la-la...

Masaya sa uste, pero medyo depressing. Parang may claustrophobic sense kasi dahil sa mga masisikip na kalsada. Medyo naiilang ako, pero siguro madali lang masanay doon. Saka ang dami kasing mga malalaking building na gawa sa bato. Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero natatakot ako sa mga ganun, lalong-lalo na pag simbahan... Anyway, bibisita ulit ako sa August. Heeheehee... I'm very much looking forward to it.

completely wrong thought(s) of the day: We learn something new everyday, and these are the things that I learned today...
-Fare from Philcoa to UST: 9.50
-Fare from UST to Examiner: 8.00
-Bawal ang mga FEU pips sa loob ng uste. (don't ask me why; si Raffy dude nagkwento sa akin nun)
-Ang arch na malapit sa entrance ay sagrado sa mga ustetician. Bawal kang dumaan dito palabas kapag estudyante ka pa lamang dahil ibig-sabihin nito ay ida-drop mo ang lahat ng subjects mo (or something like that; the exact meaning was lost in the translation I suppose). Dapat ginagawa mo lang yun kapag naka-graduate ka na.
-My ustetician friends say: Grabe yung mga Fine Arts! Ang hahaba ng buhok ng mga lalake tapos ang weird nila manamit tapos... etc etc.
-Trese replies: Ho-hum... I've seen worse. That's a tad on the average side actually...
Mga korni jowks namin sa jeep
-"I'm on a seafood diet--when I see food, I eat them!"
-"Anong parte ng bahay ang hayop? Roof Roof!"
-"Anong hayop ang sumasabog? Pagong!"
-"Anong hayop ang bulletproof? Pating!"
-"Ano ang sinasabi ng mga conyotic sa rally? Let's make baka! Don't be takot!"
-"Ano ang kotse ng mga conyo? Hon-duh!"
-"Ano ang kotse ng mga mas conyo? Maz-duh!"
-Everyone who is not that close to me figured I went to Ateneo. Even my ustetician friends who know I'm a peyupster tell me "Bakit hindi ka na lang nag-Ateneo?" I don't know. Really, I don't. I have no idea what I'm doing or for what purpose, but that will not stop me from doing it. I feel fine as I am and I do not regret it one bit.
-Then again, I would like to impose to my Atenean friend a rather queer idea: adopt-a-peyupster. How does it work? Simple: let a peyupster cheer for your basketball team, and you get something in return (I'm still thinking that part over) from said peyupster.
-Honestly, who wants to be a fan of the UP Fighting Morons anyway? Are we really going to let all sports competitions degrade into frenzied adrenaline-pumped peyupsters screaming at the victors, "IQ test na lang!" So please, please, let me cheer for the Blue Eagles without the hassle of being called a wannabe or a poser. I thank you.

I am Sandara's #1 Fan

2004-07-19T15:20:00.000+08:00

Dear fans of Hero,

I'm a pretty nice guy. All things considered, I'm really not that bad. This is why I wonder why you hate me so much, why you roll your eyes whenever you happen to "overhear" one of my conversations, and why you test my objectivity so damn much... so damn, damn much...

You happen to like Hero. Fine, I respect that. But still, this does not give you the right to viciously assault me, a casual fan of Sandara Park. I really don't see the point in all of it; they just entertain me is all. So what if I really feel Sandy should have won? So what if I lost some cash betting on her to win in the finals? So what if your idol beat her? This shouldn't really be the cause of any hate amongst our houses...

Aw crap, screw it! How could you? How could any of you even lay eyes on this guy? Are you not aware that your idol is nothing more than a no-talent camera whore?! And where does he get off beating Sandara, my dear, sweet, beloved Sandara?

I don't understand it! How could that guy win? I always thought Philippine showbiz was based purely on looks. I mean, geez, Heart Evangelista?! Haller??!? Sandara is way, WAY more attractive than Hero will EVER be!!! You people are frickin' blind! (either that or you're frickin' gay)

Oh right, he's got "talent." Well if this so-called "talent" was so damn important, what happens when this starts to decline? And did it ever occur to you that talent can be obtained through practice? Did you ever think of that?! Did you ever consider that maybe, just maybe, Hero's talent is already at its highest point and Sandara's is yet to be discovered only to greatly surpass that of the former? Didn't think of that did ya Eisenstein?

What, do you think he's so damn smart cause he studies in UP? Two words people: talent test. Think about it: would it be fair to you, the ugly-talentless-intellectual, for someone like that to have looks, "talent," AND brains?! No frickin' way man! Someone upstairs musta DEFINITELY screwed up if that were the case. At least Sandara doesn't "pretend" to be smarter than she is. She keeps it real; Hero is a poser. (I bet the televised version of his life story was nothing more than a gross exaggeration of a normal middle class lifestyle)

And all you peyupsters who gush at the sound of his name, would you all please stop? I am damn sick and tired of hearing you blab away on the toki about how you almost met this guy at the OUR who kinda-maybe-sorta looks like him, or how you treat his classmates like friggin' rock stars just because they've actually talked to him, or how you mob Bartlett Hall everyday so you can beg and plead for an autograph. He doesn't care! He's a "star" now! All that matters now is the money and the fame! So what if you stop worshipping the ground he steps on? He's got a million more lunatics where you came from. To him, you are nothing more than an expendable resource.

He is so unlike my beloved... She's perfect, absolutely perfect. That smile, those eyes, that hair... Ahihihi! Oh my sweet, sweet Sandara... I read somewhere that if I answered that friendster quiz right and sent it to thirteen people I get to meet you in two weeks and we would fall in love and get married. Only two days left now my pet... Soon, soon, we will be together, and then, then...

Don't you dare criticize me, hypocrite! What, you say I only love her for her looks?! So what?!?? At least I have the balls to admit that! Why do YOU like Hero anyway? Is it because of his "talent"? His "intellect"? His "great personality"? Hah! Don't make me laugh!

But then, nothing will change. You lower forms of life will always feel the same way, and I can't do anything about that. Take my advice though: get a life. FAST. God knows you need it. But I know you wouldn't do that... why do I even bother...

While I would love to keep telling you how much of a loser you are, I'm afraid you'll have to excuse me. My Sandara shrine could use some more incense...

Disclaimer: The following work is pure fiction. The thoughts presented here do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the author. Truth be told, I don't think I even deserve an opinion, for I have not seen a single episode of SCQ nor would I be caught dead watching one.

completely wrong thought of the day: walang maisip... it's not really "wrong," but it's too short for an actual entry, so here we go...
The Incubus Fancore
hater- has never heard of/despises them. hates Brandon Boyd and claims to be more attractive than he ever will be. often overdoses on hallucinogens.
non-fan- the name of the band seems vaguely familiar to them. hums "Are you in?" or "Wish you were here" but has no idea who sang them. thinks that guy with the long hair is cute.
the raving lunatic- has no idea that Incubus plays music. thinks Brandon Boyd is a hottie.
the slightly below average fan- listens to "Morning View" and "Crow Left of the Murder". likes the music, but has never bought a CD. only listens to them on MTV and on the radio at times. thinks Brandon Boyd is kewl.
the fan (period)- listens to their music from "Make Yourself" up. has actual likes and dislikes regarding the music. doesn't necessarily worship the frontman; it could be that the fan likes the guitarist or the DJ, or even the drummer, but all solely based on the music. looked up Incubus in the dictionary or asked Triggerman on infopop what it meant.
hardcore- has known what an Incubus is even before hearing of the band. liked them as an underground band. likes "Fungus Amongus" and "S.C.I.E.N.C.E." more than the newer albums, which he or she claims to be more catered to mainstream tastes. thinks people who do not measure up as well in terms of "hardcore"-ness are all posers. likes the band as a whole. looks exactly like Brandon Boyd.

This is the story of a girl

2004-07-15T19:23:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: those of you who expected some profound romantic personal "thing" will be disappointed; this is nothing more than some weird trippy RPG-like story that just happens to revolve around a girl (sort of). any events and situations contained herein do not reflect on my personal life, and those of you who choose to annoy me about it being otherwise will get beaten by a crazed lunatic carrying a stick. you have been warned. >_<

he was staring up into the sky again, his eyes with the same blank expression he had always worn for years. he looked at the stars as if they were more familiar to him than the grass on which he lay at the moment. he was humming that song to himself again, his eyes closed. he stirred a bit and tried to stand up, but he decided to stay exactly where he was; the night was too beautiful to have it all end so abruptly.

pain. there was only pain right now. he put his hand over his heart and ruffled his white shirt a bit, as if to remind himself of her. then again, how could he forget? he saw her everywhere--amidst the stars in the night, in the crowds of people strolling about the town below, in the darkness that consumed him whenever he would close his eyes. try as he might, he could not forget her. she was a part of him now; his heart was in her clutches, though this was much to his dismay.

he rolled to one side, trying to forget about it; there were too many things to worry about right now. they would be coming for him soon, and he should have been ready hours ago. right now, his companions were walking towards him from somewhere in that town below. he was going to use that time to prepare for the long journey, the success of which proving absolutely crucial to the lives of far too many people.

and yet, this was the least of his worries. he had no doubt that they would succeed. he had always been rather arrogant. the only thing on his mind right now was the memory of her--that smile she always wore, the sound of her voice, the mild aroma she emanates, the touch of her skin--these things possessed him, and no matter how hard he tried to break away from her, he wound up exactly where he was before. while it was very painful to remember, it seemed infinitely more painful to forget.

distracted as he was with the thought of her, he still noticed the people who were inching their way towards him from the bottom of the hill. one of his companions, whose identity was hidden by a cloak, spoke to him.
"We must take our leave, child. We have given you long enough."
he sat up silently, his eyes poised at the distant skyline. he ran his hand over his heart again for just a second, and again his companion spoke.
"You were instructed to deal with this matter. I must say, I am disappointed."
without looking at the one who spoke, he muttered, "...I'll be fine."
"This can not be allowed to continue, child. Your condition has left you weak."
slowly, he turned to face his companions. he merely cracked them a smile.
"Has it?"
"So be it, child, but remember, everyone, including her, will suffer if you fail..."
"...that's not going to happen." he blurted out. his tone had not changed, but his eyes turned fiery red in anger, his stare piercing the hearts of the men whom he addressed, the others merely looking at him in bewilderment. he soon regained his composure and his eyes had returned to their usual self--empty, dazed, and looking a million miles away.
"Come now, we've wasted enough time."
he stood up while the others slowly walked away from him. he soon caught up and they all made their way towards the huge precipice that was swallowing the stars from the sky. he could only think of her at this time, but it was all right, for she did not weaken him anymore. he muttered softly to himself, "This is who I am, and that will not change, not for her, not for anyone... We all just have to live with that..."

completely wrong thought of the day: i can't take it anymore. someone please give me a lobotomy, please make me forget the horror... my eyes, my mind, my soul, my senses have been raped by this abomination, this twisted, foul fruit of the fiery depths of the underworld. oh what a cruel, cruel encephalon chose to spawn so evil a sensation that it would make the most valiant and courageous examples of our great race cringe at the mere sight of it? oh please, please make it stop, make it stooooopppp!!!!!

four words: "smile mo, kita ko!" again, "smile mo, kita ko!"

AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! will somebody please think of the children??!? the horror! THE HORROR!!!!!

The fates beckon

2004-07-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

this is so wrong...

my family kinda owns this school called faith christian academy, which is in the novaliches area in quezon city. my sister took over as the administrator, hopefully providing some damage control, as the school was, shall we say, horribly misrepresented over these past few years. it's not a famous school by any stretch; i think it doesn't join those academic contest thingies. i have no idea on their standard of education, but i believe they got one student to pass the UPCAT in their nine years of existence. whether that is taken as a good thing or a bad thing eludes me. but the one thing i do know is this-- they're utterly desperate. why, you may ask? well, my mother asked me to teach at said school.

that's right, teach. i, at the tender age of 17 years old, not even finishing one semester as a UP math major, was asked to corrupt the unmolded minds of our youth with my sociopathic and angsty tendencies. granted, this does pose a nice opportunity to have my own private army poised, frothing at the mouth, and fanatically loyal to me, but dammit, i just don't know about this whole teaching thing.

i figure it would be nice to pull a silentwater, sort of; somehow, i do kinda wanna meet this one (dare i say it?) brilliant genius spawn who'll be a much better person under my tutelage. but geez, this won't even end up on my résumé. i'm gonna be workin' for nothing, and my asking for the money that i so righteously deserve will result in my entire family ganging up on me with their speeches on "there is more to this world than just money!" or "so this is the thanks we get after raising you and taking care of you?"

people, this isn't a complex matter of loyalty to the family or anything like that. it's simple-- i teach, i eat. plain and simple. that's what working men deserve, not to get absolutely nothing from taking time from their busy schedules so they can be placed in the middle of a tepid classroom wishing they were back at home listening to their incubus cd while reading up on socio-political theories.

sure, i have long dreamt of acquiring a protégé, but get real dude! i'm gonna be teaching to grade school kids. they won't even remember me after they get outta their school! besides, i'd much rather teach high school; i wanna rub it into their faces that i'm only a couple of years older than they are, yet i am now the master and they are the slaves of my will. hahahaha! UR IN73LL3CT SUX0RZ. MY IN73LL3C7 PWNS. PH34R MY IN73LL3C7. PH34R TEH L337 T34CH0RZ.

yeesh. my inevitable destiny as a pathetic math major is unravelling right before my eyes. the cosmos damn well better grant me control over, say, a friggin' island or something, or at the very least guide me towards finding me "only one" soon...

completely wrong thought of the day: today's thought was partially discussed while sitting down somewhere in AS. thanks again Jam.

boy a and girl b are sharing a nice day together on a bench overlooking a huge green field. both a and b are enjoying the day together. they watch a butterfly fly up in front of them, and silently they accept it as a symbol of their beautiful relationship.

now, jam and i were mutually pissed at different things, and we were feeling kinda trippy. jam clutched the butterfly in her hand and squeezed the life out of it, and i imitated the butterfly's high-pitched insect voice screaming, "nooo! nooo! don't kill me! i don't want to diiieee!!!" jam can only mutter "i hate butterflies!" through her clenched teeth of rage, while i laugh psychotically after finishing my lines. soon, jam joins me, and we both laugh like psychos while a and b run for their lives...

Da tru istory op DPS glory

2004-07-12T15:37:00.000+08:00

hindi ako mayabang na nilalang... WAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! hoohoo... hooh... hoo boy... wahaha... ayos yun... pwede na pala akong mag-komedyante niyan eh!

ayan, seryoso na. hindi ako mayabang na nilalang. totoo yan, kahit minsan (uhm, sige na nga, madalas) parang hindi. hindi nga, humble type ako. ayoko nang nagyayabang ako at ayoko ng mga taong mayayabang. ayoko talaga. ngunit, sa pagkakataong ito, kailangang malaman ng aking mga faithful readers ang katotohanan.

ayokong lapastanganin ang kapwa kong mga iskulmeyts. proud ako sa kanila. mahuhusay sila. magagaling. ayokong maliitin ang mga nakamit nilang pagkapanalo sa dinami-daming pagsasanay na ginawa nila. namula ang kanilang mga kamay sa kakaswing, mga paa sa kasisipa, mga utak sa kakaisip. pero ito talaga ang totoo-- ako lamang ang nagbingay ng dangal sa batch namin sa DPS. oo, ako lamang. tanging ako lamang. hindi si japoy, hindi si matet, hindi si ian kit at hindi rin si sheila. ako lang. me. M-E. A-K-O. hahahahaha...

may kokontra ba? bakit, ano naman ang mali sa sinabi ko? malamang si japoy 'di na pwede kasi wala na siya. si ian kit naman runner-up lang. ha! runner-up! talo sa chiang kai shek! si sheila naman nanalo pero wala na namang may pakialam dun eh, at saka hindi naman namin yun ka-batchmate. si matet naman, saan ba naglaro yun? sa california? sus, no match sakin yan boy...

pero, kahit totoo ang pangalawa kong talata, tanging ako lamang ang naniniwala dito. lahat ng mga naiwan sa DPS ay nakalimutan na kung sino ako, pero kahit noon pa ay wala naman talagang may pakialam doon. alam niyo ba kung bakit? heto ang aking analysis:
-si japoy ay nananalo sa international level. isa siyang boy tae kwon do, kaya ang hinahatid niyang mensahe sa mga taga ibang school ay, "kapag kinupal niyo ang DPS, pagsisisipain ko kayo hanggang mamula na ang buong katawan ninyo!" lumalabas siya sa tv. ang average dilimanian ay walang pakialam na hindi siya marunong mag-sipilyo, basta madalas makita sa tv sikat. at gwapo siya, na makikita sa official phrase ng mga bona fide DPS girls: "i love you japoy! i crush you! you're so gwapo talaga!" may kasabihan na sa akin lang nanggaling pero totoo rin naman: kung babae ka at wala kang crush kay japoy, either hindi ka dilimanian or tibo ka.
-si ian kit at si sheila ay lumabas sa tv. 'nuff said.
-si matet ay isang golfista na lumaban sa california ata... heniweiz, lamang siya sa akin (actually, sila ni japoy) dahil hindi nila tinalo si berto, si juan at si nonoy; ang tinalo nila ay si joe, si tom at si harry. ano ba naman yan, ang sama ko talagang nilalang; nakikipag-sagupaan ako sa mga sarili kong kababayan para lang mapatunayang marunong akong mag-sulat. buti pa sila, at least kahit paano nabigyang dangal nila ang buong pinas, na para bang sabihin, "mess with the PI and you die apple pie!" ok, ansagwa nun. kalimutan.

heto naman ang sa akin. unang-una, kailan man ay hindi pa ako lumabas sa tv bilang contestant (naging spectator ako noong laban ni ian kit sa LG). tapos, mali ang mensaheng ipinapadala ko sa mga kabataan ng DPS. ang mga nasabi kong celebs kuno ay sinasabi kumbaga "practice hard, study hard, reach for your dreams!" at ako naman ay nagsasabi ng "have angst and lots of it. pain is good. you either have talent or you don't. if you don't, malas lang, wala kang mapapala sa buhay," datapwa't hindi ako nag-aral kailanman para sa mga paligsahang sinalihan ko.

ngunit, ang mismong dahilan kung bakit mas kanais-nais ang dangal na idinadala ng ibang dilimanians sa DPS ay dahil sa aming nalalabing tadhana. isipin niyo na lang na ang mga nasabi ko'y mga athletes o mga lumabas sa tv. ang mga athletes ay magpapalakas sa mga international squads natin, at makikilala ang pilipinas bilang isang bansa na punung-puno ng mga mahuhusay at talentadong nilalang sa larangan ng sports. ang mga lumabas na sa tv, bagama't sanay na sila sa kamera, ay malamang na magiging mga talk show host o broadcaster, yun bang matalino ka pero sikat ka. ako naman, ano kaya ang kapalaran ko? isipin muna natin a. math... writing... math... writing... naku, masamang kombinasyon yan! alam niyo na ba kung bakit?

sige, sasabihin ko na. balang araw, gagawa ako ng mga theorem. oo, tama ka, theorem nga, yung mga pinapakabisado sa inyo sa geom na nagpapasakit lamang ng ulo ninyo, yung mga walang kwentang "if a and b are elements of the set of integers and n is the power to which a and b are raised to the nth degree, then the subset of the correlation between the line formed between a and b are directly proportionate to the perpendicular velocity represented by (a-n) over (b-m) such that for all x there exists at most one value for y iff the value of r on the equation of the circle exceeds the limits of the polynomial p(x), in which case the quadratic formula is used to determine the principal nth root of the equation..." tama na! hindi ko mapipigilan ang sarili kong tadhana... kung ayaw ninyong pahirapan ang mga anak ninyo pagdating nila sa hayskul, patayin niyo na ako habang maaga pa. kahit hindi naman sigurado na ganyan nga ang magiging silbi ko sa mundong ito, it's better safe than sorry.

the author would like to note that he really isn't an arrogant bastard; he merely used this persona for comic effect in the entry (though it seems he was the only one who found anything to laugh at). he is actually a pretty nice guy, very down to earth and fun to be with, and most certainly a perfect gentleman. oh, and some say he's kinda cute too.

completely wrong thought of the day:
girl at window: hello sir, may i take your order?
me: yeah, i think i'll have one of those sandwiches... yung nasa promo.
girl at window: ok, anything else sir?
me: hinde, ok na yan.
girl at window: 69 po sir.
me: hinde hinde, ok na nga eh, yung sandwich na lang...
girl at window: *looks pissed* 69 pesos po.
me: oh.

First-hand suckiness

2004-07-11T15:30:00.000+08:00

ok, i'll admit it. while i've long been referring to our basketball team as the "UP Fighting Morons," i must admit that this is solely based on public opinion. i had never seen them play a single UAAP game. well, before i watched them on tv yesterday, that is. (i would have watched in araneta with some la sallian friends, but they so totally bailed on me)

wow, they really do suck! i had to see it for myself or else i never would have believed it. but then, i couldn't help but ask: why? why do they all look like they could be beaten by a rag-tag bunch of WWII veterans, each with missing appendages? normally i really wouldn't care, but i would very much like to have no weaknesses when i next meet my friends from high school...
*begin future sequence*
me: yes, i suppose life as an iron chef isn't all that bad.
x: tang ina mo paker hina niyo sa basketbol!
me: oh really, how impertinent! that, my friend, was uncalled for. how are you doing old buddy?
x: tang ina mo paker hina niyo sa basketbol!
me: i say, do stop this right now! how very uncivilized!
x: tang ina mo paker hina niyo sa basketbol!
me: ULUL KA GAGO TANG INA MO MAHIRAP KA POTA BOBO KA MANGMANG PAK U!
*end future sequence*
...as i like to say, this is clearly a loose end, and all loose ends must be tied. and so, i invested some time and thought into this whole recruitment process and what could have possibly gone wrong.

is it because of UP's weak sports program? i had heard from friends that players of other universities, say, ateneo, la salle etc. receive huge benefits: cars, condominiums and the like. i figure this could be part of the problem, since UP really has nothing more to attract promising young athletes to join their program other than registration perks and a UP diploma. while the most fanatically loyal and arrogant amongst us peyupsters would like to believe this is enough to snag some talented players to our squads, the fact of the matter is this really doesn't amount to diddly-squat. really, is it so much to ask for all-u-can-eat street foods, free toki rides, one valid uno in a subject of the player's choosing, up to 100 pages of free photocopies of anything, or shopping center gift certificates? whoever's in charge has obviously forgotten to pick up a copy of "da rulz of life"-- if ya got it, flaunt it.

seriously though, they have some major issues to work out. honestly, it's as if they don't know nuthin' 'bout the game. they all be trippin' with the wack ish biatch! so, as a semi-fan AND veteran spectator of many a NBA Finals series (i needed something to tide me over while waiting for Star Trek Voyager), i would like to offer my unsolicited advice. *clears throat*

that spherical orange thing is called the "ball." when you have the "ball," we say that is "good." when you don't have the "ball," we say that's "bad." but, even when you have the "ball," it's a "bad" thing if you hold onto it for too long. so wait a minute here, perhaps you're wondering, "what in heaven's name am i to do with it then?" well, that red thing that's stuck to a square panel of glass is called the "rim," and that dangly white thing under the "rim" is called the "net." now, the object of the game is to take the "ball" and put it through the "rim" and "net." when you do this, you "score," or amass "points," but only if the "rim" you put the "ball" through is "your rim." you'll know it's "your rim" when some "guy" who's wearing a "jersey" that has a difference in color from the one you're wearing tries to put his "hand" on the "ball" as the "ball" takes its natural "flight path" towards the "rim." now, when the "ball" hits the "rim" but doesn't go through it, you're supposed to "grab" the "ball" to try and put it through the "rim" once more. this is called a "rebound." i know that sounds confusing, but stay with me here. after the "time" ends, the "game" is "over." we find out who "won" depending on who has "more points" or the higher "score." when you "win," we say that's "good." you will then seem very attractive to "girls"... oh, right, you know more about that part than i do. any questions?

completely wrong thought of the day: i always thought the anomalous shift in the cosmic order, which has a huge bearing on my life would, like, i dunno, line up the north star with the moon in the fifth orbit of the space station karshrak xer'nul with a highly concentrated level of theta radiation in the delta quadrant where the holographic matrix shall be distorted by the tachyon pulses emanating from the anti-matter within the proximity of the temporal prime directive, which shall cause the formation of anti-neutrinos. err... what was the question again? sorry, you lost me.

Cigarette sub-culture 101

2004-07-11T02:56:00.000+08:00

unti-unting nasusunog ang aking mundo...

yosi. sa karamihan, isang "rite of passage" kumbaga ang masubukan ang mga deathsticks na 'to kahit isang beses lamang. malamang, isa na ako sa mga dumaan sa rite na ito. sa murang edad na katorse anyos ay kinorap na ng yosi ang aking buhay. (hulaan niyo na lang kung sinu-sino ang aking mga magagaling na guro)

maraming dahilan para mag-yosi: trippings lang, para ma-relieve ang stress, para mukhang "cool" (o pakiramdam lang ay mukhang "cool"... inaamin ko, dati pakiramdam ko daig ko ang mga anghel at nerd sa mundong ito dahil ako nagyoyosi at sila hindi). marami ring mga sitwasyon sa buhay upang mag-yosi: pagkatapos kumain, habang nasa banyo, habang umiinom ng alak o kape, habang nagcclubbing, pag-stressed out, pag hinahanap na ng katawan mo, pagkatapos makipag-sex (vicariously speaking).

sa ilang taon nang nakalipas mula nang turuan ako, marami na rin akong napagdaanang kaha, kadalasan ay may kalakip na significant experience. syempre, bawat isang stick ay may kabawasan ng labing-isang minuto sa buhay ko, pero wala na 'kong pakialam dun; patay na kung patay. heto ang mga iba't-ibang brand na nasubukan ko na...

west. sa west ice ako tinuruan mag-yo. naks, mukhang conyotic pa and everythang. kadalasan hinihingi ko lang ito, pero habang tumagal ay hindi na ito ang dinadala ng aking supplier. isang kaha pa lang nito ang nabibili ko sa buong buhay ko, na naubos sa loob ng bente-kwatro oras (syempre kasama na dyan ang mga simpleng "pahingi" ng mga kakilala ko). dati bumili ako ng kaha ng formula lights, na hinawakan lang ng kaibigan ko noon (siya madalas naghahawak ng mga kahang binibili ko kasi takot akong mabuking, kaya kahit ako mismo ang nagyo-yo parang vicarious na rin ang experience. kumbaga, metaphorically speaking, ako ang nagbabayad pero siya ang nagsisindi para sakin). 'di ko trip; ampanget ng lasa.

marlboro. nang medyo poor na ang nililimosan ko ng yosi, tumigil na siya sa pagbili ng west ice at nag-marlboro lights na lang siya. ok rin, must-have pagkatapos ng isang mahabang araw ng paglalaro ng counter-strike at battle realms. heto ang kasama ko sa mga araw na lalabas kami alas-singko nang hapon, uuwi alas-siyete nang umaga, matutulog alas-onze nang umaga. ansaya! yung regular, yung pula lang, nasubukan ko na rin. dati yan ang binibili namin ng kaibigan ko pag dumadayo kami ng megamall, na siya rin ang naghahawak ng kaha. kupal talaga yung taong yun; sa pagkamahal-mahal na bili ko sa ginintuang kahang yun, iilan lang ang mapupunta sakin, sa kanya pa ang wish stick. leche. tapos dati, sa isa ko pang kaibigan, nakalimos ako ng isang stick nito, pero nanghihinayang pa siya noon kasi imported pa daw yung kaha niyang yun, galing pa daw ng japan. sus, ang arte...

winston. nang mas lalo pang naging poor ang supplier ko, winston lights na lang. mas gusto ko yung marlboro lights, pero sige lang, basta libre. kadalasan ito rin ang nahihingi ko sa mga ka-berks ko noong "boogie nights" days ko (mga third year high school ito). yung regular nito na sa pinas lang ginawa binibili lang namin kapag bumibisita kami ng tandang sora. bwiset talaga yung kaibigan kong yun, talagang sinabi pa sa akin na nandoon yung isang babaeng kakilala niya na gustong makipag-date sakin para lang sumama ako, tapos ipapalibre lang pala ang buong barkada niya sa isang oras ng counter-strike version 1.3 (ang latest ng panahong iyon)... pakshet talaga!

mild seven. charcoal lights ata yun. noong isang episode namin ng "boogie nights," walang nagdala ng yosi. pumunta pa kami sa tindahan malapit sa abs-cbn, at ito na lang ang meron sila. panget nga, pero no choice. nakaraos naman kami; nakapag-chess naman kami ng maayos at isa-isa kong nilampaso ang mga ungas na kabarkada ko noon na nag-aakalang matatalo nila ako sa larong ito... ahahahahaha!

capri. ito yung manipis diba? once nasubukan ko na 'to. ang naaalala ko na lang ay ang sinabi ng isa kong ka-berks: yung usok niyan parang yung hangin ng aircon. tang inang yan, nalagyan pa ng freon ang sistema ko... err, freon nga ba yun? o sa ref lang ba yung freon? ewan ko, ibabagsak ko ata chem 1 ko ngayon eh...

more. manipis din, kaso kulay brown. once pa lang rin. ok lang, medyo malamig... leche, menthol ata nabigay sa akin noon eh...

kahit anong menthol. yuck, wag na! lahat ng kakilala ko sinasabing nakakabaog daw ito. tapos, sinasabi rin na ito ang yosi ng mga prosti/call boy. kaya no thanks... pero isang beses ay napag-tiyagaan na rin namin ito. no choice eh, yun na lang ang natira sa tindahan. syet talaga, sana lang magka-pamilya pa ako niyan...

dj mix (mixx?). wow, ang kyut! so many colors and flavors! ang yellow na lemon, red/pink na strawberry, green na, err, 'di ko alam, hula ko menthol, lime, wasabi o marijuana ang flavor nito, saka yung itim na, hmm, di ko rin alam, hula ko regular, licorice, tar o concrete naman ang flavor nito. una kong nasubukan yung lemon, na parang halls lang. tapos yung pink... grabe, nakaka-adik yung pink! peborits! pero kaunti lang rin ang mga stick ng dj na naubos ko. nalaman ko na lang bigla na may marijuana pala ito. oh well, wala na akong magagawa dun, pero ngayon hindi na ako nagtataka kung bakit parang adik na adik ako dun sa pink. baka rin naman nabighani lang ako dun sa kulay noh?!

gudang garam (hindi ako sure sa spelling niyan). 'eto dati ko pang alam na 5% nito ay marijuana, pero ok lang. masarap siya, lasang juicy fruit. nanunuot yung tamis nito sa labi, kaya kahit ubos na ito ay ninanamnam mo pa rin ang lasa. ayon sa kaklase ko noon, kapag dineretso mo ang dalawang kaha nito ay mah-high ka daw. pero, ayon sa kalkulasyon ko, benteng stick lang ang kailangan kung mah-high ka na sa isang stick ng marijuana na kasing haba lang ng stick ng gudang, kasi 5% x 20 ay 100% marijuana, plus 95% x 20 na composed of other ingredients. wala na 'kong balak subukan ito; kung ganun at ganun lang rin naman ay sana nag-sunog na lang ako ng damo.

yan ang aking mga pagmumuni-muni tungkol sa yo-yo-yo. hindi ko na maiwasan ang pag-isipan yan dahil sa atmosphere naming magkakasama kanina sa starbucks. coffee shop eh, malamang hindi maaaring mawala ang yosi diyan diba? naiintindihan ko ang compulsion ng isang taong mag-light ng mga stick kahit alam nilang masama ito. sa totoo lang, masarap! sa simula mahirap nga, pero pag nasanay ka na, mahirap na tumigil. hindi na lilipas ang isang araw na hindi ka nakapag-dikit sa labi mo ng kahit isang umaapoy na stick ng kamatayan. ganyan lang talaga. nakaka-adik.

buti na lang matagal na 'kong nag-quit.

completely wrong thought of the day: dati, may dala-dala akong lighter palagi na kinupit ko lang ata sa kasamahan ko. hiniram ito ng isa kong ka-berks at nawala niya daw sa jeep. tang ina talaga, banas na banas ako noon. hanggang ngayon, kahit 'di na ko nagyo-yo, nanghihinayang pa rin ako ng kaunti sa lighter na yun sapagkat malaki itong tulong sa pang-araw-araw na buhay. pero siguro ang pinakamalala nang kawalan sa akin ay ang social capabilities ng isang lighter. imagine, naka-upo ako sa starbucks mag-isa at walang magawa, kaya pinaglalaruan ko na lang ang lighter ko at ang kandila sa measa, tapos may lalapit na lang sakin biglang isang babae na kamukha ni sandara park. tatanungin niya ako...
"Excuse me, but could I have a light?"
...na siyang sasagutin ko naman ng...
"Sure, if you'd let me buy you some coffee."
...na medyo pagninilay-nilayan niya ng ilang segundo bago siya sumagot ng...
"Well, alright... I do believe I would like that..." *ngiti*
...na magiging simula ng aming conversations tungkol sa kung anumang mga bagay ang matipuhan naman o common interest namin. maya-maya lamang, pagkatapos ng aming usapan, mahiya-hiya niya akong tatanungin...
*blushes slightly*"This does seem terribly embarrassing, but might it be possible for me to give you my phone number?"
...na re-replyan ko naman ng...
"I would like that, very much so..." *matching ngiti*
...at which point kukuha siya ng isang pirasong tissue, susulatan ng mamahaling fountain pen, lalagyan ng red lipstick kiss mark at iaabot sakin na may number at pangalan niya kasabay ng isang...
"Call me..." *kindat*
ayos! yun ay pag may lighter ako, pero nawala nga ng lintik kong ka-berks eh. sayang talaga...

This is a sort of work of fiction

2004-07-09T22:13:00.000+08:00

hi, i'm jaykie. my friends call me jaykie. i prefer to be called jaykie. you can call me jaykie.

remember that name; a few years from now, millions of children will have that name bestowed upon them by their parents in hopes that they might become even half as successful as i am (or will be... here's to crossed fingers!)-- iron chef, video game character, lawyer and supreme evil dictator of the whole entire world. ok, maybe part-time astronaut... oh, and i could write screenplays! you know, i have this friend who has this totally cute love story! i swear, it is like soooo adorable! paniguradong patok sa takilya! wish ko lang makuha ko yung rights doon sa story niya... err, i'm sorry, where was i?

right right, my name. jaykie, when translated from its native my-parents-must-have-been-severely-disoriented-when-i-was-born tongue means "fat ugly sociopathic retard whose negative qualities are in a state of perpetual degradation." thanks to this name, i will never, ever be taken seriously in the business world (i figure attorney jaykie [last name] will always be accompanied by the sound of muffled giggles).

but dammit, it isn't the cards you're dealt, it's how ya play 'em. so, i went and did what any self-respecting male with a less-than-respectful-sounding name would do-- plan my schemes of world domination. history has shown us that names have no bearing on the path towards taking over the world (i mean, c'mon, adolf? the hell is that?!), thus i am in prime condition to take the said position... and if i trust my intuition in leading to these visions i don't need yo damn permission to put up this exhibition! shizzle dizzle! uhm, let's move on...

perhaps the biggest hindrance to this would-be goal, however, would be my innate ability to excel in mathematics. you see, my father was always inhumanly good at math, an ability that was passed on to me. yes, dear reader, you heard right-- i'm a walkin' friggin' calculator. the problem is, i'm GOOD at math AND other things too, so i'm afraid i might not be GREAT at anything. what if it turns out i am destined to live a life of complete balance in all aspects, not excelling in a single one? how then can i possibly be destined for greatness when my path is clearly marked as one destined for overall goodness? dammit! why do i have to be so frickin' perfect??!? WHY WHY WHY???!??!!!

no matter... i will survive this. i have cheated the cosmic order before; once more should not be difficult. watch out people! practice grovelling now while it's still legal! fear me and remember-- EVIL THY NAME IS JAYKIE!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

completely wrong thought of the day:
a: dude, my close-up "icylicious blue" is like icy and blue and all so it's like... cool...
b: dude, my close-up "lemon mint" is like, it has lemons and stuff and it's all...
a: lemony?
b: no dude! it's like it has lemons and mint and stuff so it's like... sweet...
me: dude my close-up "these writers are no talent hacks" is like, so five years ago, and like, it's a total rip-off of dude where's my car which was kinda funny but is like sooo old and sooo not rip-off worthy and like i could've thought of a better ad in my sleep and like you two are like so totally annoying and like i wanna rip out your vocal chords but like the writers are all like... retarded...

What I want to be

2004-07-08T15:36:00.000+08:00

do you remember when you were little and people used to ask you what you wanted to be? do you realize your answers, ranging from policeman to fireman to dentist to pimp, sounded absolutely retarded yet perfectly natural for your age? (i myself distinctly recall wanting to be an astronaut) now that you are much older and wiser, do you still have the same answer to that question?

i can honestly say i no longer feel the desire to jump around the moon and ride in a spaceship (unless it involves a trichorder, a phaser and a skin-tight black uniorm... live long and prosper! lololololololol!). now, my answer is a lot more realistic.

i want to be a video game character. to be specific, a fighting game video game character. and, to be even more specific, i want to be an arcade fighting game video game character. okay, for perhaps the last time, for the sake of sheer accuracy, i want to be a snk arcade fighting game video game character.

for the less video game-inclined among us, snk is the company that created many fine video games over the years such as "fatal fury," "king of fighters," "art of fighting" and "metal slug." just think of it this way: their fighting games are like street fighter (i hope you all are familiar with that one, which was made by capcom) only, more often than not, with a whole lot more of the "cool" factor. case in point: capcom's coolest character in my opinion is akuma (aka gouki), whose main claim to fame is the absolutely bitching super attack "shun goku satsu." snk's coolest character is, well, a lot of them are uber-cool: iori yagami (dude, seriously? i gotta explain this one? "asobi wa owari da! koko made da!"/orochi/that damn scarlet hair), kyo kusanagi (what? the jacket oozed kewl), ralf (galactica phantom! yosha!), clark (that grab super is bitchin'!), leona (orochi, that earring bomb), orochi itself (for being orochi itself), krizalid (the costume was nice), seth (the all-purpose striker), kula (gots ta love the ice yo!), k' 9999 (for being a blatant akira rip-off), may lee (love those clothes), and mai (any hormonally-challenged male will remember her for her "maternal assets"...). i know that seems biased, but seriously, snk just plain has cooler characters. as we video gamers like to say, "'nuff said."

in any case, my mind is made up-- i wanna be a snk character. i want him to be an averagely built character with average-length spiky black hair and an aloof expression on his face. he will wear black pants, black shoes, a white shirt and a long, black trenchcoat (kind of like the one aoshi shinomori wears in ruroni kenshin, only black). he will have dark purple eyes. his main "catch" is his ability to generate white flame from his hands (as iori's flame is black/purple and kyo's flame is orange). his name should either be based on mythology or a short, uncommon word (like, say, zeitgeist or sumthin; as long as it sounds intimidating i really don't care what the name means, just as long as it's not something *too* stupid). he won't be a cheap character; he'll be average. he'll have some totally mad wicked sick insane combos, but they'll be so horrendously difficult that only the best of the best will be able to perform them at all, much less consistently. oh, but no infinites though; those suck. i think i'll make him, oh, the nth orochi-incarnate clone who is raised by a kind old japanese couple living by the seaside and the dude is a retired martial arts demi-god who trains me in the art of good though the evil blood within me conflicts this training and there is this deep internal struggle and i join the hero team to try and hunt down the forces that spawned my unholy existence. my ending involves sacrificing myself in order to save everyone else from a massive space station explosion as they escape in this little pod. ok, questions?

my character will have a sort of orochi form as well, the only difference comes in the addition of black gloves, a flame of recca villain-style silver mask where the eyes and mouth are shrouded in darkness, a blood red japanese character (a word for, oh, death, doom, melancholy, destruction... somewhere along those lines) painted at the back of the trenchcoat and a huge-ass deathscythe (say, it takes up a quarter of the screen) complete with ball and chain at the bottom of the handle. this form loses all the white fire-related moves, which are replaced with moves involving (what else?) the deathscythe. this one'll have slower ranged moves and less combo ability, but will have more power and a few added high-priority attacks. newbies will have an absolutely horrible time handling this character, so only serious tourney-level players need apply.

yes, that is what i want to be. thank you for listening to me, mr. snk man, whoever or wherever you are. i'm sure you will use my ideas well. no no, cash is not necessary; the glory and the fame are all i really need, so credit where credit is due ok?! *hem hem whispers* just address the check to [ub3r/L337]>>>:::X_ayrn_maydn_X:::<<<[ub3r/L337] *hem hem*...

sincerely,
a fan

completely wrong thought of the day: seriously, when i was in kinder i wanted to be an astronaut...

Isang patumbalik-isip

2004-07-07T09:12:00.000+08:00

hindi ako pinapasok sa sarili kong hayskul. hindi ko alam kung bakit; hindi naman ako mukhang miyembro ng frat na naghahanap ng pwedeng upakan, o kidnapper na naghahanap ng uber-conyotic na batang pwedeng i-hold for ransom (good luck finding one of those along commonwealth avenue), o drug dealer na nagbebenta ng bawal na gamot at nagco-corrupt sa mga kabataan (as if high school kids weren't that corrupted already). hindi, isa akong hamak na alumnus na nais lamang bisitahin ang kanyang adviser noong third year. at oo nga pala, bertdei ngayon ng third year adviser ng karamihan sa mga kaklase ko noong fourth year, at inimbitahan akong sumama sa kanilang munting selebrasyon (datapwa't karamihan sa amin ay mga ustetician na may pasok sa araw na ito, at ang iilang makakapunta ay ang mga peyupster, feufster at mafuans, err, mapuans pala).

nakakabanas. kailangan pa talagang may dahilan ako para bisitahin ang mga tao sa aking pinakamamahal na dps. lecheng admin talaga yan! oh my gosh, it's like, forever talaga, they're so kj! even when i made aral pa there in DPS they're so kj talaga, and even now they're so kj pa rin! that's why nga we make lait to them so much in our dyaryo eh!

siguro isa na yun sa mga dahilan kung bakit tuwang-tuwang-tuwa ako maging staffer ng blue view (the official publication of DPS) noong fourth year ako. pero maliban doon, masaya rin naman talaga gumawa ng dyaryo. akalain mo, habang ang mga kaklase mo'y natutunaw na sa kanilang istet op da art na silid-aralan ay nakatambay ka lang sa air-conditioned IT room at naglalaro ng Monster Rancher sa GBA emulator habang hinihintay na mautusan ka ni ma'am (as a mader op pak, sa isang araw marami na ang tatlong beses akong palabasin ng IT room kasi kadalasan ay trabaho ko lamang gumawa ng mga english articles na kulang. ex. mam: jaykie, gawa ka ng centerfold/editorial/column mo/filler/copyreading/proofreading! ako: sige. *types for half an hour* yan, tapos na.)

yan rin pala, nakakasama ko lagi si mam. ibig-sabihin, lagi akong may pagkakataong ibuhos ang aking angsty tendencies sa isang taong nakakaunawa sa akin. siya lang ang kilala ko noon na hindi dinadaan sa simpleng "gutom ka lang tsong" o "sige, bahala ka" ang mga problema ko. kahit ang mga sagot niya pag minsan ay simpleng "yeah right! *ngiti*" o "you wish! *ngiti*" o "ganyan lang talaga no! *ngiti*" o "a basta! *ngiti*" lamang ay alam kong nauunawaan niya ako kahit paano, at wag ka, laging may kasamang *ngiti*. o diba?

pero dahil rin sa mahusay akong patnugot ng mga lathalain, nakaabot ako ng nationals sa laguna. doon ako nakatagpo ng mga nilalang tulad ko, sina Jam, Alden at Mako. for once, may mga ka-edad ako na ka-vibes ko, na kahit paano ay kapareho ko ng frequency. dati, lagi akong nagsisisi na nasanay na ko makisama sa mga nilalang na apat o higit pang taon ang tanda sa akin. ngunit, laking pasalamat ko noon na hindi naman pala nag-iisa ang mga unique yet complicated individual gaya namin ni william hung sa mundong ito. at na-front page pamandin ako sa Blue View (ilang kopya nito ang pinag-gugupit, finrame, at dinisplay kung saan-saan sa bahay namin. ok lang naman sana kaso ampanget ng itsura ko doon sa picture), at ewan ko kung totoo, pero sa manila bulletin din daw (sa ilalim ng one-page biography, life story, inspiration, hobbies, likes, at dislikes with 5x5 photo ng first placer ay isang maliit na box kung saan naka-arrange ang mga pangalan ng mga runners-up in alphabetical order na hindi man lamang na-mention ang placing. doon lumitaw ang isang panglang "Lagate, Jackie". op kors, teorya lang yan; di ako nagbabasa ng bulletin eh). runner-up lang ako, hindi first. normally, that would be a huge blow to my ego. subalit, sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na ako namroblema. lamang naman ako sa first placer, dahil may mga prendly prends akong nakilala! oo, malamang-lamang may mga nakilala rin siya, pero kahit na, hindi ko nais ipagpalit ang kapalaran naming dalawa.

yan ang aking tadhana noong fourth year ako. dahil sa aking kahusayan sa pag-sulat, deceit, propaganda, bribery at blackmail ay umangat ang hayskul status ko mula "demi-popular" to "demi-god" (nababananas ako at hindi ko talaga makamit ang mainstream success ng "god of all gods" golden boy ng DPS, the ever-popular Japoy). ngayon, alam na ng lahat ng mga DPSers na isa akong social reject na walang magawa sa buhay kundi umangal at umangal at umangal tungkol sa mga walang kwentang bagay sa aking walang kwentang buhay. leche, exposure nga...

kanina nga nakilala pa ko nung isang guard, at closeness kami ng mga guidance counselor pati na rin ng assistant principal at ng principal mismo. pero ayaw pa rin nila ako papasukin. nakakaasar lang talagang isipin na si boy taekwondo ay makakapasok ng walang anu-ano, ang mga table tennis boys ay makakapasok ng hindi sinisita, ang mga nag-runner-up sa LG quiz ay makakapasok ng walang kapruble-prublema, ngunit ako, na isang hamak na manunulat LANG, ay kailangan pang may dahilan para bisitahin ang aking oh-so-special adviser noong third year. para bagang ganito...

guard:
-yo, japs! musta?
-oi, galingan niyo ang pag-training sa table tennis natin a?
-woist, genius boy! sige lang, pasok lang!
-putang ina pakshet sino ka? ba't papasok ka ng walang kadahilanan? tangna mo ka tau gamma ka no?! leche patay ka na ngayon tangna mo masunog ka sa impyerno bwiset hindot ka!!!!! *shoots me in the head several times*

syempre, exaggeration na yan. hindi na kayo nasanay sakin... *sigh*... miss ko na high school. kahit angal ako ng angal noon at batong bato sa klase ay mamimiss ko pa rin pala sila talaga... lecheng kolehiyo 'to! ayoko na! kung alam ko lang na lalapastanganin ang buhay ko dito'y hindi ko na ito hinanap-hanap habang ipinapaliwanag ni ser edge kung bakit asul ang salamin ni simoun! tang inang buhay to!!!!!

completely wrong thought of the day: today's completely wrong thought is brought to you by maroon 5, where songs in vain are songs for jane!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This life has taken its toll on me
I've tried to die too many times before
My heart is bleeding inside of me
And I have no choice, but I don't want to die anymore...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to ba-frickin'-sics

2004-07-06T15:40:00.000+08:00

Chicosci- Shallow Graves
As I stepped inside this dark cathedral
Was glad to see all familiar faces
Are we dying?
Have we outlived ourselves?
Are we gone?
Has our flame burned itself out?
(Why are fresh tears flowing?)
White roses all around us now
(A little prayer, signaling the end)
I made my way to the centerpiece
And saw our own faces staring from the glass
Are we dying?
Have we outlived ourselves?
Are we gone?
Has our flame burned itself out?
(Why are fresh tears flowing?)
White roses all around us now
(A little prayer, signaling the end)
Enter the wake of our design
A funeral to end the last embrace
Enter the wake of our design
A funeral to end the last embrace
Are we dying?
Are we the departed?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry, but when a song is as persistent as this one has been with me, i really have no other option. i've been feeling punkish lately. no, not hardcore punkish; pop punkish. like shallow graves right there-- that has a punkish element. so does all downhill from here, ocean avenue, stuff like that. yeah!

oo nga pala, i-phphase out ko na siguro yung what have i learned chenes. if anything, i feel like i'm getting dumber by the day.

nanghihinayang talaga ako dun sa libreng ticket ko para sa concert ngayon sa peyups, yung kasama sa survival kit. alam ko namang hindi pa huli ang lahat, pero nakakatamad lang talaga. *sigh*... i would have liked a channel for my angst though (other than my blog i mean)...

what is with today's weather? one minute i'm melting inside the canteen at vinzons and the next i'm standing in the middle of the as parking lot drenched in the rain. i can practically feel myself getting sick already. oh joy, i get to stay home and complain about how much my life sucks all day long; you, dear reader, truly are blessed.

nanawagan ako sa kung sino mang tao na kakilala kong maaaring nag-suggest sa akin na itawag sa varsity namin ay "UP Fighting Morons". ok ka tsong, whoever you are.

i'll never understand how the students of the self-proclaimed creme de la creme of all universities in the philippines can be reduced to stark raving lunatics in a split-second over something as idiotic as a game of basketball. sure, this kind of behavior is expected from complete and total airheads who can only ask who slept with who, but from the spectacled, freckled, drooling, muselage-concealing nerds that reside in us all? argh! my world is crashing down before me!!!

i have no idea why we, or anyone for that matter, even have to do crap like that. am i really the only person who realizes our MVPs are the players of NU? that said with my limited knowledge on this whole subject should be quite offending, you know. yes, i did just explain my previous statement; i imagine the people who ought to take offense at it are too dense to interpret my words otherwise.

i'm gonna make this as simple as i possibly can-- it eludes me how people who are supposed to be intelligent can be so moronic at the same time. i know, a year in the star section should have answered that question for me, but it really hasn't. but then, the instigators really aren't those of us who read books, right? most of the people who set this fucker off are the ones who slipped right in thanks to their "tito alex" or their "tita nene".

i'm sure that, from your perspective, this isn't really a major crisis or anything, is it? well, it is for me; i don't like having to conform. i hate conformity. i just want to be the lonely, angsty, addicted-to-rock teenager that i am, for the moment at least while it is still justified. because really, when you're 17 you're still expected to screw up and be as stupid as is humanly possible, but when you're 18 you're a bonafide adult. your screw-ups don't amount to seatmate x whispering to former classmate of cousin's gardener's best friend's half-brother-in-law anymore, they now lead to ate inday completely blowing the story out of proportion while telling it to manang sari-sari store.

i hate happiness. i hate love. i don't believe in sunshine. there is only rain... only eternal rain...

completely wrong thought of the day: what, my entry wasn't wrong enough for you? ok, well, there is something i picked up from somewhere...

"torment is never quite as enjoyable as when one is in love."

*hem hem wink wink hem hem* yun lang.

Excerpts from a day-long pot session

2004-07-05T15:20:00.000+08:00

always look on the bright side of life... tenen... tenen-tenen-tenen...

when chem 1 makes me snicker or when i get a 93 on my math 17 exam you know my luck is not that bad anymore. when i actually get through my class in soc sci 2 without wishing i was a million miles away you know something's going right. when philo 11 is kinda almost quasi-fun you know either i've snorted some potent narcotic substance that completely altered my perception or i'm dreaming. but demnit, strange as it may sound, all those things actually happened today, and i have no idea what it is i did. i mean, my day must have been excellent; i even got to eat lunch by myself.

what did i do to restore the balance of right in the cosmos? seriously, can someone listen as i re-trace my steps today and tell me what laws of feng shui or stuff like that i obeyed today? i wish i could feel this un-wrong (i don't dare say i feel "good" exactly) all the time.

and to think i felt like crap just one post ago... i told ya i'd snap out of it!

plus, i won't have soc sci 2 at all on thursday since our prof's gonna go to this, erm, thing, whatever that is. woohoo! i get to, err, lounge around the math building for three hours... uhm, maghahanap na nga lang siguro ako kung kanino pwede makisit-in... *twiddles with his fingers* leche, naging tatlong oras pa ang lunch break ko kung saan wala rin naman akong ginagawa kundi tumambay...

oh right, the bright side. wahahahaha...

what have i learned? mood swings suck.

completely wrong thought of the day: heto, isang semi-joke by a chemist to a chemist. anlakas din pala ng trip ng prof namin; akalain mong sa gitna ng isang powerpoint presentation na lecture niya ay lumabas ang isang slide na may problem (syempre wala muna yung sagot). heto siya...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Test Yourself!
What do you get when you combine a Ba atom with two Na atoms?

BANANA!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in fairness, natawa-tawa ako sa banat niyang yan. ngunit, mukhang di lang ako ang may nasinghot ngayong araw na ito a...

The effects of utter boredom

2004-07-04T08:22:00.000+08:00

my life isn't peachy, but it's not that bad. i don't live everyday with wide smiles skipping merrily along thinking how beautiful this world is; i get by with the thought that it could be worse. a sad, sad way to live, but not the saddest way to live by any stretch.

wala na akong libangan ngayon. hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero nakakasawa na ang video games. minsan naghahanap na nga lang ako ng dahilan para maglaro e, kumbaga, para ko na ring sinabing naghahanap ako ng dahilan para sayangin ang panahon ko. ayoko na rin manood ng tv; nagsasawa na ko sa mga pelikula, sitcoms, cartoons etc. hindi rin kasi ako mahilig sa mga local e... masubukan nga. heeheehee, excited na akong marinig muli ang mga halimbawa ng napaka-gandang scriptwriting gaya ng "fernando, come here nga. you make putol-putol the kahoy." (take note, hindi conyotic ang accent niyan; isang tauhan sa "te amo" na magsasaka ata ang nagsabi niyan. and for your information, ang kapal ng mukha mo, hindi ko sinusubaybayan yan. nawala lang kasi yung cable nun at yan na lang ang natira sa tv namin. wala na akong magawa nun e! it's not like you've never watched something stupid because there was nothing else to watch! but i digress...)

kahapon, for the first time in a very long time, hindi ako lumabas ng bahay. nanood lang ako ng tv, naglaro ng ps2, etc. pero hindi ako natuwa. minsan nagsasayang na lang ako ng koryente dahil 'di ko naman pinapanood ang palabas sa tv datapwa't bukas pa rin ito. nakatunganga na lang ako sa kisame at nagmumuni-muni na lamang-- paksyet na buhay ito, sino ba ang lecheng nag-sulat ng mga rules ng buhay na ito, tangna kailangan ko na magka-gelprend, pakamatay na lang kaya ako?, at, huli sa lahat, ano man ang mangyari, saan man ako mapadpad, nag-iisa ako sa mundong ito dahil hindi pa ito handa para sa isang taong tulad ko. screw the cosmos and its all-encompassing powers.

alam ko, isa akong self-absorbed na nilalang. napaka-shelfish ko namang tao no, hindi ko man lang naisip na ang daming batang naghihirap araw-araw, na ang daming problemang hinaharap ng ibang tao na 'di hamak na mas malubha sakin, na ang ibang tao'y hindi man lamang marunong mag-ingles. oo, pahamak lang ako sa mundong ito. walang silbi. a drain on the world's limited resources, kuno. hindi marunong mag-sulat sa tagalog. lecheng buhay 'to. ayan na naman, iniisip ang sarili. pero, wag niyo kong pansinin; ganyan lang talaga ako-- i'm cynical by nature. eventually ok na naman ako...

nung linggo nang umaga ko nga pala sinulat ito, at mula noon ay may mga karag-dagang pangyayari pang naganap sa araw na iyan-- muntik na ko masgasaan ng kotseng naka-reverse na minamaneho ng isang uunga-ungang babaeng hindi tinitingnan ang kanyang daanan, na-flatan ang kotse ng ate ko pauwi, at hindi na naman kami nakapag-simba. kay saya ng buhay...

what have i learned? i'm the type of person who makes other people feel good about themselves just by seeing how hideous i am, and i'm ok with that; if that's the hand you're dealt then play 'em like a man, right?

completely wrong thought of the day: i've always wanted to work something into a screenplay, like, about an antagonist to the protagonist right before the conclusion of the final battle...

"why do you choose to fight? do you not know you have already won? they shall mourn your death while they celebrate my own! but you continue to persist... so be it. come now; i shall acquaint thee with thine creator!"

anme + RPGs= those last lines...

The art of making friendsters

2004-07-02T22:20:00.000+08:00

Seether- Broken
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ano ba naman yan... songs na naman! well, last na to. pwamis! ok, well, i really don't know, but that oughta do for now.

it dawned on me today-- i had been in UP for a month and i had one friend, whom i am really grateful to have by the way. still, i realize that i need other people whom i can call my friends in order to survive as a math major and possible lawyer. i came to this conclusion because i thought there are many different types of friends dependent on need, and my one friend does not satisfy them all (so she is no "one friend to rule them all"... wahaha! that was a spoof on LOTR!). oh, but don't get me wrong; if i HAD to spend the rest of my peyupster life with only one friend, i'd choose her in a heartbeat. uy, flattered yan! hehehe... she frequents this blog quite often actually... do you think you can figure out who she is? oh well... here's hoping you're not completely dense! (by the by, when i say "my friend" from now on, i am referring to her; i don't wanna use her name cuz, well, i don't have permission to invade her privacy in that manner... O_o)

anyway, i figure friendship is based on our different needs from people. i'm not saying our sole purpose for making or having friends is our own personal need, it's just that, we need certain things from other people. confused? just read on a bit...

Legend:
[type of friend]- [number i currently have in UP]/[minimum number i need]
[description, stuffs, whatever]
*note: all the left-side ones are filled in by my one current friend, just so you know...*

the twisted tendencies friend- 1/1
me: so like, my mom says there aren't too many relatives left in her mother's side of the family cuz they were all butchers...
friend: ...so, what happened? did they all fall into this giant meat grinder and come out as hamburgers??!?
me: err, no, they had heart disease from eating so much pork. that was my first hypothesis, though...
hehehe... my friend fits rather well into this description. more couldn't hurt though...

the basketball friend- 0/1
me: tangna dude lakas ni yao kagabi!
friend: wak ka ganyan pare... lam naman natin pareho c stevie nagpapanalo sa kanila e!
not the kind who yaps on and on about lay-ups and post moves and stuff like that, just the kind who watches the nba.

the obscure music friend- 0/1
me: baby when i heard you...
friend: ...for the first time i knew...
chorus: ...we were meant to be as one...
my musical tastes are not that poppy; i like some stuff that no one else does. dati may friend akong trip din c kylie minogue, mga trance, etc. you know, stuff like that, but she was also really into 90s pop rock/grunge plus hip hop and rnb. aww yeah! sana lang talaga makatagpo ako ng nilalang na nakikinig ng mga kanta ng audioslave na wala sa radyo/tv...

the conyotic friend- 0/1
friend: my golly goshness, it's like, so grabe talaga, so kadiri nga eh! it's like, ewww! i'll never make kain that talaga!
me: erm, yeah, sure. so totally. haler?!
wala lang. trippy eh.

the video gamer friend- 0/3
friend: dude ano tekken tag?!
me: ulul! tangna asa pa! boy bano ka naman tsong e!
friend: pak u ka pare... no match ka sakin boy! no mats!
oo, ganyan talaga magsalita ang mga maaangas na video gamer tulad ko. haay... kakamis!

the coffee friend- 1/1
the coffee friend has no specific dialogue; qualifications only require that my coffee friend agree to have coffee with me from time to time. hindi pa official yung 1 na yan since di pa naman kami nagkakaron ng actual coffee appointment, pero may usapan na kami, and so far, negotiations seem to be doing ok.

the trekkie friend- 0/1
me: live long and prosper.
friend: that is irrelevant. i will not comply. you will be assimilated.

the RPGer friend- 0/1
friend: hail, o master of torment and irreverence! i bid thee good tidings on this most beautiful night of nights!
me: hail, maiden of the moonlight! to what dost we mortals owe the honor of thine presence? perchance the land of eternal rain no longer require so great and powerful a mistress as thee?

the pure angst friend- 0/1
me: i hate my life.
friend: lucky bastard. i hate the world. i hate the fact that we exist in the first place. i hate everyone. i hate myself. i want to die.
me: kewl. wanna have lunch?
friend: ok.

the pseudo-poet spaced-out friend- 0/1
me: oh, it's raining...
friend: the rain... like angels' tears falling from the heavens, wishing our sins be purged... don't you love how it does that? how it seems to wash everything clean? how it seems to purify our souls by merely living out its purpose? i love the rain... in the end, we are all like that, you know... we are all but drops of rain...
me: oh no, it's not raining. oh my! ang late na pala! andyan na pala ang buwan.
friend: the moon... floating so high above us...
me: ...ok, i get it. psycho.

the "make fun of everything" friend- 1/4
anyone who watches iron chef qualifies for this, but keep in mind, that is not a pre-requisite. basically, we make fun of everything.

the girlfriend- 0/1 and only 1
i'm 17 m qc, i'm a math major in UP Diliman, i will love you but good. miscol me at 09********* i'm h*t and h*rny no gays pls thx O_o *shivers* i seriously hope you knew i was kidding... you knew that, right?! God! how dense could you get??!? oops! did i say that out loud? *no wonder i'm still single... >_<*

and that will be all for now. if i remember anything else i might follow this all up sometime.

what have i learned? one month has passed and i'm still alone... not completely, but in a lot of ways... *screams "i'm tired of being alone/so hurry up and get here"*

completely wrong thought of the day: "i hate butterflies! i hate the sun! i hate vast grassy meadows with yellow and pink flowers! i hate little children playing in a brook with crystal clear waters! there is no joy in life; there is only pain! do you hear me?! THERE IS ONLY PAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!" -an exaggerated thought from the mind of my friend jam. ayan ha! andami mo nang endorsement sa blog ko! wahahahaha! yes, i know, you never asked for that, pero ala lng, andaming beses ko kasi nagamit ang pangalan mo eh... wahahahaha...

Dance Dance Revolutionary

2004-07-01T19:21:00.000+08:00

311- Love Song

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sorry talaga kung maka-songs ako ngayon... wahaha... pero, wala lang, trip na trip ko rin yan recently e. why ba? it's nice naman eh davah?!

yung dati pala na lyrics ay "ghost in you" by counting crows. remake na yun eh, the orig was a new wave song like i said and, unfortunately, i have no idea who sang it, so anyway, mga 80s pa yun, pero yung remake itself ay matanda-tanda na rin, say, early to mid 90s? mga ganun.

yesterday was my dad's birthday. we really didn't do anything, because the night before he had all his friends over and they decided to have a sleepover! they talked all night and shared secrets like who their crushes are, then they braided their hair and had pillow fights and played crank calls on people while giggling...

ok, i dunno about you, but that totally grossed me out. let's move on.

so my sister had this friend who arranged for the five of us (me, ate, her boyfriend, her friend, her friend's brother) to watch spider-man 2 in glorietta 4. ha! my luck was getting better after all! so we got there and there just weren't any tickets, as is common on opening night as far as big name movies are concerned. luckily, my sister's friend had already pre-purchased tickets. however, it turns out we could not use them for the 6pm showing; we would have to wait for the LFS by 9pm, which was a problem because our friends had a very early curfew. they tried reasoning with their mother for an extension, but no such luck-- a minute later than the arranged time and their father would have popped a vein. with no alternative in sight, they just offered us the tickets. of course, we refused at first, but seeing what a shame it would be to waste 'em on account of they were only valid on that day, we gratefully accepted them.

we had some time to kill before 9, so i did some errands. i looked around national for two books; introduction to logic by copi and prism by, err, some dude that starts with t. well, i got prism, but copi's book is next to impossible to find. gawd, i hate that i lost that book. oh well, whatever.

it was barely 7:30 and we still had nothing to do. i went to the arcade and blew some cash. would you imagine, i was able to do 2 songs on SSR in dance dance revolution? and with a sprain, no less! and here's the kicker: i'm the fattest boy in the world!!! yeah, i actually think that's a record, me being the fattest SSR DDRer ever. anyway, i kicked the crap out of those old people who were tripping with the pad. hehehe... i still gots teh mad dancing skeelz!!!

after that, we lined up to watch the movie. i'm not gonna write a full-blown review on spider man 2, but i will make some comments. first, i liked that they didn't stick to a bonafide comic book story. what they did was, they took the characters and told a story all their own (not *that* far on their own however). this is plausible in this case because, unlike hp and lotr, you really only have to be faithful to the characters, and that they were. second, i'd say it lived up to all the hype. i mean, c'mon, there wasn't that much hype surrounding it (in comparison to the first at least), plus it really was a satisfying movie-going experience. third, the feel is much, much darker than the first, which is good because they took the geeky doctor octopus who wore tights and crap and turned him into this uber-cool psycho in a trenchcoat. wicked.

the movie wasn't perfect, though, but i'll leave that for you to find out.

what have i learned? i still gots teh mad skills baby!

completely wrong thought of the day: as you may have noticed, we had two extra tickets, since five were pre-purchased and only three were used (for my sister, her boyfriend and myself). so, we decided to give the tickets away. now, my sister's boyfriend wanted to give the tickets to children, but me and my sister agreed that that would make him look like a pedophile. my sister suggested that i approach a cute girl and say "i'll trade you these tickets for your phone number," but i didn't like that idea very much, nor do i like anything that could get me sued or arrested, for that matter. i suppose the most logical path was that of my sister, who opted to find someone with a good heart to give the tickets to. no such luck. then, she came up with the most brilliant idea of the day...

sis: i know! let's give the tickets to someone destitute! c'mon guys, help me look for poor people!
me: sister... you're in glorietta 4. think about that a minute.
sis: oh. right.

however, destitute or not, they were able to give away the tickets to some family. hm, i dunno why, but when things like that happen in real life, the first thing that comes to my mind is "church story." you know, like, what if that family was actually a bunch of atheists and my sister's kindness convinced them in the existence of God or something like that? you never know...

How unfortunate...

2004-06-29T15:29:00.000+08:00

A man in my shoes runs a light
All the papers lie tonight
But falling over you
Is the news of the day

Angels fall like rain
And love, is all of heaven way
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
The ghost in you she don’t fade away

The race is on, I’m on your side
But hearing you my engines died
I’m in the mood for you
Or for running away

All the stars come down in you
But love, love, love you can't give it away
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
The ghost in you she don’t fade
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade away
Don't you know she don’t fade

Don't you go it makes no sense
And all these talking supermen
Just take away the time just to get it away
Ain't it just like the rain
'Cause love, love, love, love is only heaven away
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
The ghost in you she don’t fade away

Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade away
The ghost in you she don’t fade

A man in my shoes runs a light
But all the papers lie tonight
Falling over you is the news of the day
And love will not fade away
And love, love, love will not fade away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm so into that song. i dunno why, but i've been listening to it a lot in my sister's winamp files. i know, it totally makes no sense and is based on some irreverent 80s new wave thing, but still...

i'm having the worst luck ever this week. on sunday, i sprained my ankle. on monday, i almost lost my wallet but i lost my book on logic that, by the by, i only borrowed from my ninang. today, i woke up and my cell phone's signal was getting all screwed up. grr...

i felt like shit riding the toki to chk this morning. i hated everything. for once, the words "i hate my life" actually rang oh-so-true for me. i wondered what it could be that i did which upset the balance of the cosmos, why some mystic all encompassing force was now using all its strength and resources to annoy me.

and then, this little voice inside my head told me exactly what i needed to hear at the time-- let it go. just let it go. shit happens all the time, and complaining won't help things at all. you're only gonna be more stressed if you dwell on it.

huh, how insightful of me (yeah, whatever). so i shrugged my shoulders and forgot about it. as it happens, the day was not that bad after all. i got excused from pe, eng 11 was fairly enjoyable, and i had lunch with my friend as usual.

what have i learned? don't latch onto or dwell on anything, because it will always blow things way out of proportion.

completely wrong thought of the day: nakipag-debate ako sa isang friend kong ustetician kung aling kolehiyo ba ang mas maganda, ang sa kanya (uste) o ang sakin (up). hindi naman siya seryosong debate; sa ym lang namin ginawa, wala lang, napag-tripan lang namin. nung una ok pa ang mga arguments namin. halimbawa, nasabi kong "UP Diliman is the flagship campus of the premier state universities of the philippines," at sasabihin ko sanang "every former president of the philippines (besides erap) has either studied or taught at up," kaso nakalimutan ko, at sumagot naman siya ng "UST is the only royal pontifical university in the philippines because it is recognized by the royal family and the pope," at "nag-aral dito si rizal." nung una ok pa naman, kaso nung medyo tumagal-tagal na, naubusan na kami ng mga arguments. sa bandang huli, ang masabi ko na lang ay "dito nag-aaral si hero angeles!" at sa kanya naman ay "dito naman nag-aaral si sarah geronimo!" needless to say, the result was a tie...

Under the Influence of Eng 11

2004-06-28T15:37:00.000+08:00

it was such a beautiful day. the sky was a pale grey littered with light, swirling rainclouds, green and gold leaves were falling slowly from the trees and were making their way towards the damp grass below, tall, looming buildings of pure white visible in the distance. everyone seemed so busy-- some people were walking along the pathways, others were hanging out at their favorite tambayan and chatting with their friends, while others still were merely looking every which way, thinking, pondering, contemplating all these things, this day, and, in some cases, life itself. yes, it was a beautiful day indeed. how sad that i had to spend it trapped in this little room on the fourth floor, that i could only watch as the passers-by giggled amongst themselves, and that, even though i was in the company of acquaintances, i felt so alone, so very, very alone. such a shame, such a shame...

my sprained ankle had felt much better. i remember waking up abruptly just a little past midnight. i remember standing up to get something to drink, but the pain in my right foot was throbbing like mad; it was killing me. i rememember that, at that point in time, i could only pray to God that my ankle would get better, at least just enough so that i could make it through the week without missing any of my lessons. after all, i was not in high school anymore; grades actually mattered this time, so i would have to give it my all, for my own benefit as well. thankfully, i was able to make it past chem 1, math 17 and soc sci 2 without too much difficulty. however, my day was not over just yet.

i checked my right pocket again to make sure my wallet and cell phone were still there. they were right were they ought to be, of course, but i checked every so often anyway just to be sure; i had lost several cell phones in the past already, and i did not want to add another loss to my name. it seemed silly now, but just that morning, tears slowly escaped my eyes and crept down my cheeks because i had apparently lost my wallet. it was not the money that mattered really; i was more concerned with my form 5, schedule slip and id receipt. these were the things that proved i was a student of the university of the philippines, and losing these things would be much like losing a part of myself. it would be much like losing the long, dragging and tedious sessions of every monday and thursday, the quickly-concluding classes and after-school lunches i had with my friends every tuesday and friday, and the lazy, laid back wednesdays, when i did not have any classes at all. i admit, i am not quite as attached to my school as long-time students are, but it is not like me to dismiss possibilities before they are given ample time to fulfill themselves completely, and a month in passing is most certainly too short for such things, such enthralling, mysterious things to take place.

and so i sat in my chair, anxiously awaiting my professor and glancing my wristwatch every few minutes. if he did not come to class soon, he would be considered as good as gone and there would be no class at all, as is the agreement between professors and students. a few minutes more, and perhaps i might ask my friend what she's up to, and perhaps i might still catch up to whatever it is that she's doing. or i might go home as well and rest; my ankle, though much better, still needed as little movement as possible to heal properly. ah, so many possibilities... not much longer now... 5... 4... 3...

suddenly, he walked into the room with mere seconds to his merit. how unfortunate; i would have gladly welcomed the opportunity to cheat my schedule, but it appears now is not the time for that. so i sank back into my chair, aloof to the incessant ramblings of my professor. i merely looked out upon the light grey sky littered with light, swirling rainclouds, the green and gold leaves falling slowly from the trees and making their way towards the damp grass below, and the tall, looming buildings of pure white visible in the distance. the mystic forces of the cosmos had sealed my fate this day, but it was all right, for there was always tomorrow. yes, i will most certainly make sure that that day is better. but if it turns out the same as or much worse than this day, it was all right still, for there would always be the next day, and the next, and the next; for as long as i have more days yet to come, i will always find a way to make things better, even if i find myself without a reason, if only for progress' sake...

what have i learned? i take eng 11 too seriously.

completely wrong thought of the day: "...and whatever i do, on account of all my thoughts turning into reality, i shouldn't think of the ceiling fan turning into a whirling blade device of death that suddenly detaches itself from the ceiling and systematically ricochets and kills everyone in the room other than myself by cracking their skulls in half or by decapitating them or by severing their limbs or by splitting their torsos in half causing their vital organs to spew out of their bodies while, in any case, causing gallons of blood to gush out of the large, gaping wounds leaving crimson stains all over the floor while the dismembered corpses all plop down in big, bloody piles in different sections of the room. whoops! too late!" *well, i have to let my twisted self loose somewhere... oh, c'mon, don't give me that! it's not like you've never been to rotten.com O_o (for the record, i myself have never been there)*

On Sunday Morning

2004-06-27T16:32:00.000+08:00

we missed church yet again. that always happens. it's unfortunate really; i was in the mood for a little salvation. instead, we just had lunch at this chinese restaurant somewhere in makati, which is like, for the nth time during the last, say, three years?

when we got home, i felt like playing some basketball on this little hoop we had tacked atop the driveway, but my sister's car was blocking a good part of the play area. i asked her if she would move it for me, and she told me to do it myself. i said, "ok, if you'll teach me." she agreed. woot!

i had tried driving my sister's car before, but to no avail; i couldn't get the hang of that damned clutch. a while ago, when i was just starting out, the same thing happened. eventually though, i got the car to move... woohoo! i took it all the way around the block, though not quite as smoothly as i would have liked. well, i suppose it wasn't that bad for a first successful attempt at getting the car to at least move without stopping abruptly more than, oh, ten times. yup, right around the block, turns and humps and everything, all in first gear (though i did put the car in reverse while i was parking it).

yes, i know i'm pathetic; twelve year olds learn how to drive a car sooner than i did O_o

i sprained my ankle playing basketball. not a whole lot; my foot's still attached to my leg anyway. seriously though, it wasn't that bad, but it kinda hurts to walk. argh... i just hope this gets better by tomorrow morning, cause you know, like i always say, i do have to walk to the math building all the way from AS... and hopefully my prof/instructor/coach in pe 2 (which is basketball. in fact, that's the very reason that i have this sprain, cuz i was kinda practicing for tuesday's session... >_<) will be gracious enough to let me off the hook, even if only just this once...

after that, i read a little about aristotle and his political philosophy for soc sci 2, a class that is exceedingly boring thanks to our lame prof. such a shame; the book is fairly interesting. afterwards, i spotted the latest issue of the collegian in my backpack and, seeing how much free time i had, decided to read through it this time and not just look at all the pretty drawings and pictures. wow, i really do have quite a bit to learn (and to think i had intentions of joining on my first week of classes)...

what have i learned? maraming paraan para hilutin ang paang natapilok, kasama na dito ang gas, asin, bote at kung anu-ano pa. ngunit, ang iisang common denominator sa mga pamamaraang ito ay ang pagbabad ng iyong paa sa mainit na tubig.

completely wrong thought of the day: this is easily my most retarded thought yet... well, first off, we all know that high school hymns flat out suck for the most part, thus the students merely hum along making awkward swinging gestures from side to side and silently mouth the words. this is true for Diliman Preparatory School (no relation, and no, this is not the same as UPIS), so i had a sudden flash of inspiration-- i thought of a revamped set of lyrics, which shall be applicable by the year 2015, when i would have purchased the school to put up my institute which trains fine young men, women and anyone else in between to become my loyal evil minions on my path to taking over the world (yes, the path to complete and utter global domination knows no gender bias). it best captures the dominant musical styling of the 00s-- hip hop. so here we go, the lyrics for the Domination Preparatory Society (still DPS if you notice):
~START~
*chorus*
these are the digits that we gotta set
spittin' rhymes like romeo and juliet
pray to God that He gonna lay your soul to rest
they ain't nobody mess with that DPS

first year people they be lookin' kinda crazy
feel the air, see it, it be gettin' kinda hazy
pay no respect, no regard fo' they order
we be puffin' smoke like we was drinkin' water
second year we be havin' no parade
only thing on my mind is that damn arcade
cuz we skip, when we trip, pushin' coins like bling
catchin' up is to money like a hook by yao... ming!

*chorus*

third year gd is the place to be
show up five hours late, act all tipsy
skip more school, hit the mall, blow yo' money
livin' off that choco dipped in honey
fourth year life like a soloista
hip-hoppin' sentimental punk rockista
gotta do this year as the man intends
if y'all don't then this old school never ends

*chorus*
~END~
it's supposed to sound slightly like "welcome to atlanta" but not exactly like it. anyway, i'm sure this will do my society good; what better minions can you have than hip hopping punk gangstas who smoke and drink and blow cash on crap and play arcade all day and eat only choco honey-dipped donuts? yessir, supreme evil dictatorship never looked so good...

We're so closeness na!

2004-06-26T13:02:00.000+08:00

nagising ako ng alas seis kaninang umaga. hum, dati naman hindi ako ganun a. nung high school, kapag weekends, minsan nagigising ako alas diyes na... ng gabi... (hehe, syempre hindi yan totoo; isang beses pa lang naman yan nangyari sa buhay ko.) siguro nasanay lang ako sa buhay peyupster, na nangangailangang gising na ko ng alas singko ng umaga tuwing lunes at huwebes para hindi ma-late sa aking unang klase sa chem pav. siguro kaya rin ako nagigising ng alas seis sa iba pang mga araw ng linggo.

magkagayunpaman, may silbi rin naman ang pag-gising ko ng ganitong oras (kahit alas siyete pa lang nung nakaraang gabi ay inaantok na ko dahil sa sobrang pagod sa kakalaro ng basketball... pero, dahil sa internet, alas onse na ako nakatulog at, saganang akin, mas mainam nang magising ako ng medyo magtatanghali na para mapahinga ng kaunti.); sa araw na ito'y magkokodakan ang aming block sa AS steps. sa totoo lang, mas gugustuhin ko na lang sanang manatili sa bahay at manood ng tv o maglaro ng ps2. ngunit naisip ko na, for the sake of being a semi-sociable human being, mas mabuti na rin sigurong pumunta na lang ako.

laking pasalamat ko na naihatid ako ni ate sa AS, dahil tinatamad akong sumakay ng mrt (pero kung wala namang ibang paraan para makapunta ng diliman, ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko?). pagdating dun, wala akong nakitang kakilala dun. may nauna pala sakin, blockmate ko na hindi pamilyar ang mukha. tumabi muna ako sa kanya at pinanood namin ang ibang block na nagpipiktyur-piktyur sa steps. wow, nakakainggit, ang saya naman nila, it's like they have gitara and make laro the baraha pa and everything... tapos parang ang ganda rin ng kinalabasan ng block pic nila, dahil kumpleto silang lahat at may theme pa talagang sinundan. tinanong ko sa aking blockmate, "e tayo ano theme natin?" at ang sagot niya ay "wala... bahala na." this is proof that our block is the most cohesive and tightly-bonded block in the entire history of UP Diliman. that, my oh-so-ignorant friend, is called sarcasm. if you didn't know, you'd better look it up.

nung una, tatlo lang kami dun sa steps. tapos, isa-isang nagsidatingan ang iba pa naming blockmates. pagkatapos ng isang oras at kalahating paghihintay (umulan kasi... naisip ko nga na sana theme na lang namin ay yung basa sa ulan, pero parang ayaw magkasakit nung ibang mga kasama ko...), nakamit namin ang grand total of 8 people in attendance. wow... ang saya-saya noh!?!! like yah, grabeh, our block's so closeness talaga.

pagtapos ng aming block pics (hindi naman siya nangingibabaw sa ibang block pic, maliban na lang siguro kung tinatanong kung kaninong block ang pinaka-pangit na pic.), dinala ako ni ate kay mang jimmy's. wow, pers taym ko dun! *i don't feel like commenting about that here... all i can say is, they have good stuff, but i didn't get to try their specialty. >_<*

heto, nasa bahay na ako, nagsusulat na naman ng isang walang kwentang bagay na pwedeng lait-laitin ng aking friend. pero ok lang, kahit lugi ako dahil kaunti lamang ang english artiks niya... at least kahit paano ay natututo naman ako ng filipino, di tulad nung sa high school na hindi ko na talaga ginagamit ang ating "native language" sa pagsusulat... kaya sige, kahit pangit, let's just consider this as something of a patriotic statement...

what have i learned? ok lang naman pala ang pips sa block ko, dahil hindi maiiwasang makausap sila habang naghihintay sa loob ng AS. halos lahat pala kami ay may first choice na BAA, at halos lahat rin pala kami ay may balak mag-shift next year. ako undecided as usual; pwede na siguro yung double major, o kahit minor na lang ako in some other subject, pwede na rin... ^_^

completely wrong thought of the day: i'm glad i study in UP, because, social stuff notwithstanding, i could never, EVER step on the diliman campus without feeling like an astronaut stepping on mars. i wouldn't be able to walk around anymore, or eat at chocolate kiss, or drive by to pick up my mom from the shopping center-- i would be to pre-occupied acting all, "atmosphere... too... intellectual... self... not worthy! i... am... unclean! I AM NOT WORTHY!!!" and then i would melt... eventually. anyway, that's just me, on account of everyone i know being from UP and all; other people shouldn't have that problem.

So maybe love doesn't suck that much...

2004-06-25T22:49:00.000+08:00

i'm tired as hell. pe 2 was fun, but it was so tiring that my entire body still aches and convulses violently every ten seconds. ok, fine, it just aches, but it aches quite a bit at that. hmm... street dance is sounding better by the week...

i had lunch with my friend again today after her week-long hiatus thanks to some cmc orientation thingy. it was, well, just like most lunches i have with her; we mocked certain things and people, walked around a whole lot etc. that sorta thing...

oohhh... this is pretty dry. oh wait, i know!

i think it was around eng 11, when the prof declared that she was a hopeless romantic. instead of my usual "i think i'm gonna retch!" reaction to that sort of thing, i actually found myself silently saying "aww..." hard to believe?! it's true!

and so, i could only come to the conclusion that i am something of a hopeless romantic. when i got the chance to think about it, this argument just seemed more and more valid. after all, i am the type of person who dreams of long walks on the beach, or of staring up at the sky while lying 'round the center of a vast meadow, or of standing out on her corner in the pouring rain and looking for the girl with the broken smile... err, maybe just the rain part. heehee... rain good... ^_^

also, i believe in a thing called love. what the?! ok, wait... damned radio! anyway, it's those accursed old movies (relatively speaking, so 90s-00s era) my mom and my sisters would always watch where the guy is always the, err, stereotypical romance movie guy, or whatever. gh... that totally messed up my perception! rock solid proof that subliminal messages do exist...

still, my point is, i'm ever-so-slightly like those movie dudes, or at least, at some point in time i tried to be and now i can't get it out of my system. the problem is, stuff like that doesn't seem to sell so good for me. maybe i'm just picky, or i have trouble "keepin' it real," or i'm just plain ugly. i don't know. let the statistics speak for themselves... hey! wait a sec! i didn't approve of that!

enough of this; i might dispense of some information that i am not at liberty to share.

gawd... i so need a girlfriend... (-_-;) *for the record, i'm not exactly searching*

what have i learned? i'm probably the most hopeless hopeless romantic in existence. :D

completely wrong thought of the day: if i really want to take over the world (which i do), i must abandon this whole facade of romanticism, for this is a potentially lethal weakness. i must train myself in the art of cold-hearted, cold-blooded, devoid of soul or conscience sorta evil doings, such as, say, putting the cookie jar on the top shelf so my little cousins can't reach. heeheehee... hey jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love... O_o